Rocky chapter. I'm a sucker for happy endings, please remember that. But also remember we're lost at sea here.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.


A day passed without water. The sun was still scorching in the sky, making the situation even harsher. I didn't want to eat one of the remaining protein bars because my mouth was too try and the motion of the water beneath us was almost taunting, adding to my nausea. Edward did most of the talking. I didn't panic much anymore because I didn't have the energy. It was scary how drained I felt but I wouldn't waste any life that was left in my body on worrying and crying. I didn't have it in me even if I tried.

The day passed achingly slow and then it was nightfall. I lay on my back, staring up at the blank canvased roof of the raft, trying to swallow and talk but there was nothing in my mouth to remove. It was like sand paper only when I tried swallow, it was like ten knives shooting down my throat. I gasped from the pain and my body instinctively reacted by crying, only there were no tears: only the racking of my body as I sobbed out tearless cries of pain and anguish.

That was about the time Edward pulled me into his arms. He was still so strong, even after the tiring day without water. "Hey, hey, stop that," Edward tried shushing me but it was worthless. I was uncontrollably moaning out dry tears that wouldn't be stopped with simple words. I stared out to the open water, seeing the stars along the horizon twinkle and shine. I thought I saw one of them glowing purple and it made me cry harder, knowing I was imagining things and the real effects of dehydration kicked in.

"Bella, please stop," Edward begged in a hushed tone. "Please, you can't lose any more energy."

"Am I dying?" I rasped, my voice barely a whisper. I thought he couldn't hear me over the lulling sounds of the waves but I was wrong.

"No, Bella, you're not dying."

"I think I am," I gasped, licking my dry lips with my dry tongue. "Everything hurts."

"We'll get water soon, I promise you. If only I could see those damn fish…"

I laughed, despite myself. My brain was telling me his talk of sea creatures was funny but the whole situation was screaming terror and illness. I kept on laughing, ignoring the fire in my throat and the jolt in my empty stomach. I was afraid I'd dry heave like I had earlier on in the day but it didn't happen, thank god. Edward kept me in his strong arms.

"You're so buff," I stared up at him, trying to find his eyes but finding stars instead. Where did he go? "Edward, I can't see you."

"I'm right here, Bella."

"No, I can't see," I shook, feeling his arms around me but not actually seeing him. I started to shake. "I'm so fucking warm."

"Bella, you're shaking," Edward muttered. He sounded far away. Funny, I could have sworn his arms were around me… "Are you sure you're not cold instead?"

"Too warm," I rasped. My throat burned again. "I need water, Edward."

"I know, Bella, I know that!" Edward cried softly. He sounded like an angel. A broken angel. "Please, just… just save your energy, I'll find you water."

"Don't cry," Angel, don't cry. Not for me.

I rolled out of the angel's arms and onto the floor, needing to find something cooler to lie on. I was still shaking but it didn't add up. I was so fucking warm. I found my spot on the raft and looked up at the roof again. "Talk to me," I whispered. "Please." His voice was so… angelic. Fitting.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked, his voice shaking.

"Anything," I breathed, losing the word by the end.

"Why don't you ever talk about yourself?" Edward asked, his voice far away. I watched in awe as the canopied roof above me ripped open and revealed a starry sky, dancing in different, magical colours. I smiled, unable to deny the pleasure of the colours bursting through the night. "You beg to hear about my life yet never mention your own. Why is that?"

His voice brought me back and I rolled onto my stomach, done with the magical sky for now. "You never asked so I didn't talk," I whispered. I heard him strain closer to listen. "I live with my dad. My mom left us when I was born. Crack whore or something like that. My dad had to watch her twenty four seven during my pregnancy so I wouldn't be harmed. Crazy how he fell for her. I guess she started using after he declared his love."

Edward inhaled deeply behind me and I revelled in the cold floor beneath my cheek. I was cool now. But still thirsty. So thirsty…

"I think this is what it was like for my mom when my dad made her give up the drugs for me," I mused, my mind wandering back to the days I heard him cry over the loss of her. I was young but not stupid. I saw what she did to us as a family. My father was the best dad in the world but he was still empty at the loss of my mother. That would never change. "How I feel now… I think this is how bad junkies get when they go cold turkey."

For a split second I sympathised with my mother for going nine months without her daily dosage. Because a day of this torture was something I hoped I'd never endure again. I choked up again. "I'm scared, Edward."

I was back in his strong arms, being rocked against his chest and my stomach flipped, lurching me over the raft so I could throw up my empty stomach. Edward's hands were in my hair, holding it back while I dry heaved, choking on his name and my father's and Alice's. I wished I was dead. This was too much pain. "Let me die," I think I said but I wasn't conscious anymore. I succumbed to sleep or maybe even death itself.

~Instinct~

"Chin up, that's it, good girl…"

I felt my head being angled up and my mouth closing down on something ridiculously gooey but my eyes were still closed and my body still limp, so I couldn't react when the cold liquid slid down my throat. Instinctively, I swallowed what was given to me and the angelic voice nearby praised me for it before setting me back down again.

I was lost to the darkness once more, quickly realising death hadn't taken me yet.

*****I*****

I hid behind the living room door, hearing daddy's roars again while I was sleeping. I watched through the crack in the door as daddy took another swig from his beer can, yelling out stupid words that I couldn't understand. I recognised one of them as the words Mike got in trouble for using in school. It was a bad word, something only grown-ups could say.

"Good for nothing woman," daddy muttered against the can. I stepped on my tiptoes to get a better look through the crack but no one was with him. He was talking to himself. "How dare she leave her child… her husband? My poor Isabella… without a mother."

Mommy?

"Crack whore bitch will never know true happiness. I hope she chokes on the drugs she takes."

I swallowed, scared of daddy's voice. What did he mean? My mommy was alive? He wanted her to choke? Why was mommy choking?

"Daddy?" I whispered, stepping into the living room. Daddy's eyes shot to mine and he stood, quickly scooping me in his arms.

"Hi, baby, what are you doing up so late?" He swayed a little as he walked and I giggled. He looked funny. "Did I wake you again?"

I nodded, playing with his moustache. "I heard you talk about mommy? Is she alive? You told me the angels took her."

"I know, baby," Daddy sighed, reaching my bedroom. He lay me back down on my bed. It was big. Daddy bought me big bed because I was a big girl now. "I don't know where she is, really. I thought god took her when you were born but maybe he had different plans for her."

"Is she coming back?" I wondered, feeling sleepy again.

"I don't think so, kiddo," daddy muttered. "But you have me right?"

I nodded, smiling hugely. "Yep! Love you, daddy."

"Love you, Bells." Daddy stood and watched me carefully as he shut my door behind him, muttering the bad words again. Daddy really hated holy god for taking mommy, I guess.

~Instinct~

The swaying beneath me for once didn't make me feel uneasy. I opened my eyes to the bright sky and flinched, feeling a body move beside me, checking me out. "How are you feeling?"

I smiled, rolling closer to the body and snuggled. The angelic voice was back. "Angel," I murmured. "Just like the ones who took mommy…"

"Bella…"

I was gone again.

I woke on my back, staring blankly at the roof before remembering where I was. The first thing I noticed was the pain in my head had gone, as did the burning in my throat. My mouth wasn't that dry anymore and all seemed alright in the world. I looked over myself, still chilling in my underwear but I got over that once the dehydration set in. I sat up, trying to find Edward but came up short. I swirled around the raft, scared he had fallen off during the night.

"Edward?" I said, my voice low with fright. "Edward?" I said a little louder, leaning over the raft to get a clearer view of the ocean. I couldn't see him at all. There was nothing but steady, calm waves.

"Edward!" I screamed, my voice breaking throughout. Suddenly, his head popped up out of the water a few metres away. He held my jeans in his hands which were high up above the water but Edward seemed fine. He looked controlled and serene, making his way back towards the raft.

"Why did you leave?" I cried, coming down from my shock and fear. There was tears in my eyes but that wasn't new: I always cried.

"I was fishing," Edward gasped, still catching his breath as he flung himself on board, tackling my very active jeans. "Glad to see you alert. I missed your constant questions."

"Why are my jeans jumping?" I mumbled, ignoring his comment. I was kind of scared for his answer. Edward only chuckled.

"Didn't you hear what I just said? I was fishing. I caught something obviously."

"But there's nothing to cook it on," I said. I watched Edward smother the fish until it stopped flapping on the floor and cringed a little. Poor fish.

"We're not cooking it."

"I'm not eating it raw," I cringed again. "Gross."

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you want to go through what you've gone through the last two days or suck it up and eat a bit of raw fish? You eat sushi don't you?" Edward snapped, not even bothering to look up at me as he spoke.

I opened my mouth to reply but no words came out. I simply didn't know how to respond.

"Besides," Edward started. "I've been making you drink the damn fish's spinal fluid for energy and water the last few days without you even knowing." Edward grinned, making my jaw go slack. "You should be used the taste by now."

"Oh my god!" I groaned, plopping back down onto the floor, wishing I was the dying fish just then. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm glad you caught something. I'm just having a bratty moment."

"Well," Edward ripped out his pocket knife and began slicing up the side of the fish. Ugh. "I can't say I missed that conscious part of you. But it's good to see you awake. You scared me with your crazy hallucinations."

"I can't even remember," I mused. "Two days I was out of it?" Edward nodded, distracted by his gutting.

"Yeah, it was pretty rough. You slept for most of it all but sometimes you talked in your sleep or choked on absolutely nothing. Some nights you dry heaved and cried out for Alice. It was pretty glum for me here all alone. I was fucking terrified."

"I'm sorry," I said, sadly. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault this happened. When you were really out of it and the morning came I dived in the water, hoping I'd find a certain fish that would help you get back on your feet. I did, thankfully and you drank without hesitation and then last night, it finally rained. We have enough water to do us for the next five days, I think."

"Oh thank god!" I cried. "That's great!"

Edward smiled and got on his knees, nodding with his head for me to come closer to him. "I'm gonna angle this fish up and once the water spills out I need you to gulp it down, understand?"

I nodded, deciding to just get it over with. "Aren't you having some?"

"I'm fine. Just drink everything this fucker gives you. One, two… three!" Something burst on the fish and water splashed out into my mouth. The taste was warm, salty and fucking unpleasant but I drank, regardless, gulping it all until there was nothing left to pour out. "Ew, ew, ew!"

Edward laughed, chucking the fish away as he already cut off the bits that were edible. "You're such a girl." I rolled my eyes and bent down to grab some of the fish bits and felt a harsh sting on my ass. My head lurched around and saw Edward pulling back his hand, his expression morphing into one of innocence.

"Hey!" I said, hiding the pleasure I took from it. "That's my ass, Edward."

"I've noticed," Edward waggled his eyebrows sexily. "I had a great time with it when you were sleeping the last two days."

"You're sick!" I giggled, slapping his bicep. Before I could move back, Edward tackled me to the floor, sending me squealing as we dropped. His hands went to tickle my sides and I screamed out, begging him to stop. The poor fish in my hand fell away during it all but with Edward's body pressed against mine, I couldn't bother to care.

"Stop!" I screamed, wrapping my legs around him in an effort to roll to the side and get him off me, but that put us in a rather intimate position.

"Not a chance, Bella!" Edward grinned, tickling me harder. The water from his slowly drying body dropped down on me, rolling down my own body coolly. He ended up rolling over so I was the one on top and still he managed to keep me on lock down. It felt like forever before he finally decided to ease up and I lay my head panting on his shoulder.

"You have to go easy on me, I'm only getting back to life remember?" I gasped, laughing a little still.

Edward's arms encircled my waist, pulling me impossibly closer to him. "It was horrible seeing you like that, Bella," he whispered brokenly. I moved to look at him, shocked by his sad tone and saw the pain in his eyes. "You called out for your dad and in your dreams you were so hurt and angry at your mother that you"-

Edward stopped short, obviously scared to tell me something but I wasn't having that. "That I what?" I asked. He didn't respond. "Tell me, Edward." I gripped his face between my hands, forcing him to keep his eyes on me.

"You talked about your dad and how sad he was when you were a kid. You mentioned your mother and her drug use but really you talked about how angry you were at your dad for telling you that your mom had died when she hadn't."

I nodded dumbly. I didn't remember anything I had hallucinated during the last two days but now that Edward talked about it, certain things rang a bell. "I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"Don't," Edward squeezed my sides. It was comforting. "My birth mom wasn't a piece of cake either. Besides, it was nice to hear you call me an angel in your dreams."

"What?" I croaked, feeling the blush creep up my body to my cheeks. "I said that?"

Edward laughed against me. "In your sleep you kept calling me your angel… at one point you said I was like the ones that took your mother away. It was adorable up until that point. After that… it was just heart breaking."

I dropped my head to his shoulders, suddenly realising I was still in my undies but Edward respected me enough not to drag his hands lower, no matter how much it would have pleased me. I was still taking in all my crazy thoughts and sleep talks anyway. "You are pretty beautiful for an angel," I admitted and Edward laughed, despite it all and hugged me closer, letting me react and accept the haunted dreams I never knew I had.


So we're still breathing. A little insight into Bella's life since a few of you wanted to know. It was coming regardless but what did you think? Unexpected? Most thought her life was pretty boring but guess not. Quite sad actually.

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