A/N: I want to quickly take a moment and apologize for not being better about responding to reviews. I love everything you have to say: suggestions, constructive criticism, and all. I promise to be better about it. Bad stuff's been going on in RL. Yesterday I had to make the decision to put my beloved cat to sleep. He was in the animal hospital ICU for quite some time, and yesterday the vet let me know she didn't see much point in continuing care. I was with him when he went to sleep and it was very peaceful. But now I've got a devastated five-year-old on my hands, who doesn't really understand about death and has known our cat all his life. So that's what's going on here, and why I've been remiss in responding and updating. Hearing from y'all makes my day just that little bit brighter, though, and I could really use some of that virtual sunshine! So thank you from the bottom of my heart!
P.S. - Brenda, your review was unsigned so I can't respond to you personally, but getting it yesterday made the day that much easier to get through. Thank you so much!
Scale the Glass Mountain
Hiram Berry waited anxiously while his partner paid the cab driver, looking up at the tall brownstone house before him. One light shone in a second-floor window, and he thought he saw some illumination through the glass inset on the front door, but he couldn't be sure. He shifted nervously from foot to foot, unable to keep still. If they got the address correct, Rachel was inside that house at this very minute. He had to force himself not to snap at Leroy to hurry up - he didn't want to shout at his partner, especially at this time of night, but he needed to know that Rachel was okay. He needed to see her, needed to let her know how much he and Leroy still loved her despite what she had done.
It had killed them when they realized she ran away. Rachel was their little girl, still so young and naive, and the thought of her alone somewhere filled him with fear. Despite the almost constant bullying he knew she suffered at school, she was still so trusting of people. She expected the best out of everyone. That was partially what worried him so much about her runaway attempt. What kind of people would she meet, and what would they do to the brash, impulsive girl he and Leroy had raised?
Hiram wasn't stupid. He knew Rachel was special, and that life in Ohio was difficult for her because of her uniqueness. He and Leroy did their utmost to support her, taking her to the best vocal and dance instructors in the area. If she had ever asked it of them, they probably would have seriously considered moving somewhere else, somewhere she could pursue her chosen arts more professionally. But Rachel never asked, and so they let it slide. Hiram knew she would leave Ohio when she graduated, and he and Leroy were prepared for that. But he hadn't expected her to ever run away like this. He thought they had a good relationship with their daughter, and that she'd come to them with her problems instead of doing something so rash.
Now he seriously had to consider how much he really knew about his little girl, and he hated it.
"Thank god Jesse found her," Leroy said, hefting their hastily-packed carry-on bags and stepping up beside Hiram.
"I didn't know what good it would do when you suggested calling him," Hiram admitted. "I didn't think he and Rachel were still speaking after they broke up."
"I doubt they were," Leroy said. "You know how Rachel's always carrying on about being a little psychic? Well, she gets that from me." He half-smiled wanly. To Hiram's eyes, he looked exhausted. Dark circles marred the skin under his eyes, and his shoulders sagged a little under the weight of their bags. A week of not knowing where their daughter was had taken a toll on both of them. "I just had a feeling he could find her."
"I'll never mock those feelings from either of you ever again," Hiram vowed.
They hastened up the front steps, and Hiram knocked quietly. He didn't want to disturb the entire household by ringing the doorbell; Jesse had mentioned that this was his aunt's residence, and Hiram wanted to cause as little trouble as possible for the woman in question. He was already beyond grateful that she had allowed Rachel to stay while her fathers hopped the first available flight to New York, and he didn't want to push. He and Leroy didn't know much about Jesse's family, but he got the distinct feeling that they weren't close. Not the way he, Leroy, and Rachel were.
After a moment, the sound of heels on a hard floor met Hiram's ears, but he wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted him when the door opened. Standing before him was none other than Rachel's birth mother, Shelby Corcoran.
"Shelby?" Leroy managed to recover first, and Hiram put a hand on his partner's arm. This wasn't a terribly welcome turn of events. Rachel hadn't discussed her reunion with Shelby at length - not with them, and not with her therapist - but they knew enough to understand that something hadn't gone well. Whether it was Rachel's fault or Shelby's, or a mixture of the two, Hiram didn't know. But he knew that Shelby had left Ohio and Rachel had not mentioned her mother's name since.
Shelby stepped aside, motioning them into the elegant old house. She held a finger up to her lips. "I'm sorry we had to meet again like this," she said, her voice soft, as if she were afraid to wake an infant. "Jesse fell asleep a while ago. He's an absolute wreck, and I don't want to wake him. I don't know where Rebecca is, but it's my hope that she's asleep, too." She shuddered a little. "Trust me, you don't want to meet her if you can help it."
"Is she Jesse's aunt?" Hiram asked hesitantly as Leroy dropped their bags just inside the door. Shelby closed and locked it behind them and took a deep breath as if steeling herself.
"Where's Rachel?" Leroy demanded. Yes, Hiram thought, that was the more immediate question. Trust Leroy to cut right to the heart of the matter.
"Upstairs. She's asleep right now, but I assume you want to see her?"
"Yes," Leroy said firmly, and the two men trailed behind Shelby as she led them up a dimly-lit set of stairs and into a dark hallway.
"I know I'm not your favorite person, especially after last year," Shelby said. "I'm not Jesse's, either, to be honest. But he said the police wanted Rachel to have an adult with her, and I was in the city. Now that you're here, you can take over parental duties. I just want you to know that I'm not trying to overstep."
Hiram looked at his partner before answering. He knew Leroy so well by now that just a glance told him they were on the exact same page. "We don't actually know much about what happened between you and Rachel last year," he admitted. "She doesn't like to talk about it."
"She's not the only one." Shelby paused in the hallway. There wasn't much light coming up the stairwell, and Hiram couldn't make out the expression on her face. He had to admit that they didn't really know Shelby terribly well. She had been a bouncy, joyful young woman when they met her, full of life and dreams. Time had honed her, sharpening her edges and wearing away at the bright innocence that Rachel still possessed. Yet in so many ways, she was so very much like the daughter she had produced. It was disconcerting, and Hiram didn't know how he felt about Shelby's presence here with Rachel.
Still, seeing his daughter was the most important thing, and he waited with barely concealed impatience for Shelby to point them to the right room.
She continued to stand in the hallway, though, and she clasped her hands nervously before her. "I don't know how much you know about Jesse and I," she said carefully. "He was a very special student of mine. We fought and lost touch last year - he was very angry with me, and rightly so. I can't go back and change the past, but I think we need to talk."
"After we see Rachel," Leroy said firmly. Hiram agreed.
"Of course." Shelby opened a door, and a dim wash of lamplight spilled into the hall. "I'll be waiting downstairs when you're ready to talk."
Hiram didn't spare her another glance as he hurried into the room. True to Shelby's word, Rachel lay curled in a little ball on the wide bed. He released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding as he crossed the room in an instant, finding Rachel's hand and fitting it into his grasp. She breathed evenly, not waking as Leroy slipped around to the other side of the bed, sitting next to her and pulling her hair back gently, stroking her head as he had so often done when she was small.
"Thank god," Leroy murmured. "Thank god. I didn't want to tell you before, but I honestly wasn't sure if we'd ever see her again."
"I know." Hiram squeezed her hand. Outwardly, she looked fine. She was wearing one of her favorite sweaters, and he could see no bruises or other marks on what little skin was showing. "Should we wake her up?"
"Let her sleep." Leroy kissed the crown of her head and squeezed her shoulder. "I don't know what prompted her to run away, but it had to be bad. She wouldn't do this to us normally." They were words he and Hiram had repeated to each other many times over the past week, but there was a calmer flow to them now. Hiram understood. Now that they knew their daughter was safe, they could wait to learn just what had happened.
"What do we do when she wakes?" Hiram pressed his palm against hers. They had set Rachel's handprints in plaster of paris every year from the time she was a baby until she was twelve, but he hadn't measured her hand against his in a long time. It still seemed small to him, her fingers slender and delicate. He wasn't a big man, but he had to remind himself that Rachel would always be smaller than him, even when she was fully grown. That was part of having a daughter rather than a son. She would always be his little girl, no matter how much she grew. "Scold? Punish? Cry? Jump for joy?"
"A little of them all, I expect." Leroy shook his head, a foolish, fond smile playing over his face as he watched Rachel sleep. "We've never been much good at punishing her, and I doubt we'll be able to start now."
"She's never really needed it," Hiram protested. His voice was a little too loud, and Rachel shifted in her sleep, making a protesting noise as she buried her head further into the pillow. Hiram had to chuckle quietly. She used to do the exact same thing when she was a baby. Though she was a young woman now, on her way to being grown, she was still very much the child he had sat up with, night after night, when she was sick or cranky. Some habits she would likely never outgrow.
"I think we need to know just why she did what she did before we make any decisions," Leroy said softly. "She's safe, and for the moment that's really all that matters."
They sat in silence for a while. Hiram took the time to really absorb the fact that she was safe once again, and that he could reach out and touch her if he wanted. He kept a light grip on her hand, unwilling to sever the contact. Rachel was safe, he told himself. Safe. Something had happened, or else Jesse wouldn't have called them so urgently. But whatever it was, they could deal with it. Physically she seemed fine, and that was the most important thing.
"You're not very happy about Shelby being here," he said finally.
Leroy stretched his legs out on the bed and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. The gold band of his wedding ring flashed in the dim lamplight. "No," he admitted. "I'm not. I don't have any better idea than you do what happened last year, but Shelby isn't Rachel's parent. We are. I'm not mad at Jesse - I know he was only trying to do the right thing. But that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. We drew up that contract for a reason. We didn't want Rachel getting confused or hurt."
"I didn't realize how difficult the prospect of sharing her would be," Hiram said quietly. "I'll admit I was relieved when Shelby left town."
"Rachel knows who her parents are." Leroy touched his partner's shoulder. "She's always going to be our little girl."
"I know that," Hiram said, "and I'll admit I'm glad someone was here with her when we couldn't be. But I worry about Rachel, too. Shelby gave us the most precious gift in the world, and I'll always feel indebted to her because of it. But she doesn't seem to be the most reliable person. She already left Rachel after making that connection last year. I don't want Rachel getting her hopes up again if Shelby's just going to walk away a second time."
"This is a huge mess." Leroy glanced fondly at his sleeping daughter. "I didn't even know Jesse and Shelby were acquainted."
"It doesn't really matter anymore," Hiram said. "Shelby's living in the city, and Jesse will go back to L.A. while we return to Ohio. Maybe it'll all be like this whole mess never happened."
"Do you really believe that?"
Hiram sighed. "No," he admitted, "I don't. But I don't know what to do about it either."
"Talking to Shelby is probably a start." Leroy pulled himself off the bed and offered his hand to Hiram. "Are you ready?"
"I guess." Hiram took one last long look at his sleeping daughter. "If she's asleep, it's not like she's going anywhere."
They both kissed Rachel's sleeping cheek before heading downstairs again. Shelby was waiting for them in the foyer, and she looked a little nervous.
"I was wondering if I could trouble you for a little help," she said.
"With what?"
"Getting Jesse upstairs." She motioned them into the next room, and Hiram had to bite back a laugh at the sight. The room was a stifling mix of uncomfortable antiques, and his daughter's ex-boyfriend was sprawled on a floral-print couch, his cheek mashed into the carved wooden arm and his pretty brown curls spilling over the side. "I don't want to wake him up, but watching him sleep like that is making me hurt. I can't imagine what he'll feel like in the morning if we let him stay there."
Leroy chuckled. "Well, he found Rachel for us. The least we could do is help him get a good night's sleep." He checked his watch and Hiram saw him grimace. "What's left of it, that is."
"He's a college student," Hiram reasoned. "He ought to know how to stay up late and then sleep all day."
"Not Jesse." Shelby smiled, but the gesture was laced with sadness. "He's not like that."
Hiram was too tired to inquire about the exact nature of Shelby's relationship with his daughter's ex-boyfriend. Instead, he and Leroy both took an arm, slowly drawing Jesse to his feet between them. They draped his arms over their shoulders and began walking him toward the stairs. He shuffled his feet automatically, like a zombie, and Hiram had to bite back another laugh.
He'd never really expected to see Jesse St. James again, Hiram had to admit. Rachel had not been forthcoming about their breakup, but she did say that he was going away to college soon in any event. Hiram supposed, at the time, that it was for the best. Long-distance relationships never worked out, especially at such a young age. Temptation was too great, and teenagers were not known for their patience. Still, Hiram had liked Jesse best out of all the boyfriends Rachel brought home. Finn was...well, boring. Not bad, but bland. He remembered wondering at the time what Rachel saw in him, unless it was just the fact that he was easy to boss around. Noah Puckerman went to their synagogue - when he was dragged by his mother - and Hiram had known the boy most of his life. He was more than a little relieved when Rachel's short-lived relationship with him ended. He doubted that Noah meant any real harm, but the kid was immature and he caused trouble because he didn't know how to think his actions through.
But Jesse, though - Jesse had been different from the start. He was a perfect gentleman while Rachel's fathers were around, and while Hiram knew it was an act to win their approval, he appreciated the effort. Not many boys these days cared what their girlfriends' families thought. It didn't hurt that Jesse was also the best-looking boy Rachel had brought home, either. For a while Hiram had been afraid that Rachel would never find a boy who could handle her. He loved his daughter dearly, but he wasn't blind. She had a big personality, and her constant drama was a lot to deal with. The fact that Jesse St. James had a great deal of his own drama had been vastly reassuring. While he didn't know if the two would ultimately end up hating each other because they were too alike, at least Rachel had found someone who liked her other than that poor, pathetic Jacob kid.
Now Hiram helped Leroy assist Jesse up the stairs of his aunt's house. It was a surreal sort of tableau in which he found himself - three in the morning, Jesse St. James' arm slung over his shoulder, the boy still three-quarters asleep as he stumbled up the stairs, Shelby spotting behind them. Utterly ridiculous. If someone had told Hiram a week ago that he'd be in this situation, he would have laughed. But now he paused at the top of the stairs, letting Shelby slide past them. "Which room?" he asked.
"With Rachel," Shelby whispered back.
"No," Leroy said firmly from the other side of Jesse.
"They're both asleep," Shelby said, opening the door to the dimly lit room. "What are you afraid they'll get up to while they sleep?" She motioned them forward. "I'm not terribly familiar with this house, and I don't want to accidentally disturb a room that will bring Rebecca's wrath down on us."
The dead weight of Jesse was getting heavy, and Hiram wasn't inclined to argue. Not this late at night. Besides, he trusted Rachel. She'd never given him reason not to, unless he counted this foolish runaway attempt. He moved forward, hearing Leroy's reluctant sigh as his partner matched him. They maneuvered Jesse into the bedroom and lay him down on the queen-sized bed. Jesse mumbled something that Hiram doubted was a coherent thought, then subsided. The room was warm enough, so they didn't bother covering him with any blankets.
"Do you want to go downstairs to talk?" Shelby asked, her voice contemplative as she watched the two teenagers sleep. Jesse lay where he had fallen, sprawled across most of the bed, while Rachel was still tucked into a little ball. She didn't usually sleep like that, Hiram thought. Not that he knew of, anyway.
"We can talk here as long as we're quiet," Leroy said. He settled himself on the floor, leaning against the bed. "I'm exhausted, but I'll admit that I'm impatient to know what happened. Jesse said Rachel wasn't...wasn't feeling good?" He frowned. "Those weren't his exact words, but he led us to believe that something was up. Something that prevented him from sending her home like he planned."
"Yes," Shelby said quietly. "I don't know everything, but I know some of it. And I'll tell you now that I'm afraid a great deal of this is my fault."
"Your fault?" Suspicion rose in Hiram's heart. "Did you tell her to come here?"
"No," Shelby said quickly. "Not that. I don't know why she ran away, and as far as I know I had nothing to do with it. But the rest of it..." She sighed, exhaling a breath through her nose. "I'm not proud of the story I have to tell you, but it sounds like Rachel hasn't said anything and I think you need to hear it."
Hiram perched himself on the low chest of drawers and let Shelby take the desk chair. He had a sinking feeling that this night was about to get even longer.
"First, please understand that I never meant Rachel or Jesse any harm," Shelby said quietly. "He's furious with me and I can't blame him, but it was never my intention to hurt anyone. I just wanted to make that clear before we move on."
Leroy frowned. "You hurt Rachel?" His tone was faintly menacing, and Hiram watched him warily.
Shelby did not seem cowed by the man's suspicion, though. "Inadvertently," she said, "and indirectly. But yes, I believe I hurt her, and I am so, so sorry for it."
"What did you do?" Leroy demanded.
Shelby paused. "Will you let me start at the beginning?"
Hiram answered before Leroy could. He didn't want his partner saying something they might later regret. "If it's necessary," he said, "take all the time you need."
"Thank you." Shelby cast a glance at the bed. Hiram couldn't read the expression on her face as she watched her teenage daughter sleep quietly next to the boy who had somehow known where to find her when she ran away. He had no idea what sort of relationship Shelby might have with Jesse, or why the boy was apparently so upset with her, but he hoped giving Shelby the time to collect herself and tell the story in her own way meant that everything would soon become clear.
"I never stopped thinking about Rachel," Shelby began finally. "I can't have any more children of my own, and while I never really regretted what I chose to do, I did miss her. I knew you would be good parents, but I always wondered, you know? I think it would be impossible not to."
Hiram supposed it was only natural for Shelby to wonder. He might too, in a similar situation.
"But I never really planned to do anything about it. Rachel was yours, and I told myself I had to live with that fact." A small smile played over her sharp features. "Then fate intervened."
"How so?" Hiram asked.
"I saw her sing last year at Sectionals." Shelby shook her head. "I knew the moment I laid eyes on her - I didn't even have to look for your last name in the program. She looked so much like me." Her eyes were suspiciously bright, and Hiram heard her take a deep, steadying breath. "I was there in an official capacity, scoping out our competition for Regionals. Jesse was with me, and he knew the minute I did. He said there was something similar about us - a spark, maybe. Just...something." The first tear dropped, and Shelby made no move to wipe it away. "He's a good kid, and he's always been special to me. His parents dote on him, but they're distant. Before he met me, he was just a cute, arrogant little monster with an alarming amount of talent. Nobody had ever tried to discipline him. I gave him direction and a life goal. I gave him an aim. I can't say he was like a son really, but he was certainly the most talented kid I've ever coached. We became close, and I was the sole disciplinarian in his life for four long years."
"Are you the reason for his attitude?" Leroy asked suspiciously
"I'm the reason for the manners that mitigate that attitude," Shelby shot back. "In any case, I knew the minute I saw Rachel that I had to talk to her. I understand that she's not legally mine, but the law can't dictate matters of the heart. I don't expect you to agree with my decision or even to understand it, but she is the only child I am ever going to bear and I needed to talk to her. But we'd made a deal and signed a contract, so I couldn't contact her directly."
Hiram got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. His head didn't quite know where this was going, but his heart was quickly catching on. "Jesse," he said quietly.
"Jesse," Shelby agreed. "He was a senior and already had his scholarship to UCLA. I told him my story and asked for his help. I pitched it to him as an acting exercise, and he eagerly agreed to it." She smiled wanly. "He's always been a heartbreaker. I don't know how many former and current members of Carmel's show choir lost their virginity to him, and frankly, I don't want to. It's none of my business. For the record, though, I'd like to state that I never asked him to seduce her. Just befriend her. That next step he took on his own."
Hiram glanced worriedly at his partner, who looked altogether too calm at the moment. "Leroy? You okay?" he asked cautiously.
"Oh, I'm fine. Don't worry - we'll let him get a good night's sleep. Then, in the morning, we'll kill him."
"Please wait a moment before you pass judgment," Shelby said, holding up her hand. "On Jesse, at least. While this whole mess did start out as a game on his part, I believe it quickly turned into something else entirely. All he was supposed to do was get her to admit that she wondered about her mother's identity, and then give her a cassette tape I'd recorded for her. I knew that once she heard me sing, heard how similar our voices are, she'd feel compelled to come and find me herself. That's all Jesse was supposed to do." She paused and glanced at the bed again. "The plan quickly unraveled, though. He kept putting it off and started spending more and more time with her. Then one day he came to rehearsal with transfer papers. Said he was changing schools." Shelby laughed softly. "He's such a good manipulator that it even worked on me. He said he would be better able to do the job I had given him if Rachel didn't question his motives, and the only way to do that was to quit Vocal Adrenaline. I wasn't happy about losing my best performer, but we were both in too deep to stop now, and I had to see Rachel. So I signed the papers and let him transfer, but I gave him an ultimatum and a deadline. I explained to him very calmly that McKinley's show choir would never take Nationals, even with him at the helm, and if he wanted that fourth consecutive national title, he needed to come back to Vocal Adrenaline by the set date. We met periodically, but he kept dawdling and making excuses and that isn't at all like Jesse. I should have suspected how deep he had fallen by then, but I didn't. I assumed - wrongly, I now suspect - that he cared about winning more than anything else."
"You're saying he fell for Rachel?" Hiram glanced at the sleeping teens. "I find that a little hard to believe, Shelby. It sounds like the plot of a bad teen movie."
She shrugged. "I told Will Schuester once that the heart wants what the heart wants. I didn't realize at the time how true those words were. It broke Jesse when the deadline came and he had to give Rachel my tape and return to Vocal Adrenaline. I know it sounds silly, but I truly think it did break something in him. He's never been a terribly open person, but he shut completely down after that. It was like he was trying to protect himself from getting hurt again. He refused to talk to me or the other members of our team, and he was all business during rehearsals. It was like the person inside him disappeared."
Shelby paused again, and Hiram took the time to digest what she'd told him so far. He had a hard time reconciling the polite, suave young man he'd met with the picture of Jesse Shelby was painting. But, then, Rachel was a complicated individual. He supposed there was no real reason for her to choose a simple man. "How much of this does Rachel know?" he asked quietly. His daughter came first, before any other consideration, and he needed to know whether she was okay.
"Most if not all, I would presume." Shelby glanced at the bed again. "She and I never spoke about Jesse's involvement, but he insinuated to me that he told her the truth at some point."
"After he broke things off?"
"I don't really know when. All I know is secondhand from other members of Vocal Adrenaline." Shelby twisted her hands together uncomfortably in her lap. "Did Rachel tell you about the egging incident?"
"There have been many eggings," Leroy said drily. "We're experts at cleaning that crap off the side of the house."
"No, not like that. This attack was personal." Shelby's hands didn't still, and Hiram could tell that she was extremely nervous about what she had to say. "My kids have always had a tradition of psyching out the competition before a big event like Regionals. Last year, though, I'll admit they went a little far."
Hiram frowned. Eggings weren't pleasant, but they were harmless enough. Whatever Shelby had to say, he suspected there was more to it than just the act of throwing eggs.
"TP-ing and egging are traditional razzes," Shelby continued. "But the team decided to rub McKinley's faces in Jesse's deception on top of it all." She shook her head again. "I don't know why he agreed. He won't talk to me, so I may never know. But if I had to guess, I'd say that he was trying to eject Rachel from his life in a very final way. Nobody has ever had the kind of power over him that a true, loving partner would. I suspect he felt trapped with no good options, and he took the childish way out."
"What did he do?" Leroy demanded.
"Keep in mind that I only heard from other members of the team so I can't say for sure, though they really had no reason to lie. They said that he lured her into the parking lot alone for the egging to take place." Pain flashed across Shelby's sharp, angular face. "I don't know, but I imagine she must have cared about him deeply if she was willing to meet him again like that so soon after he returned to Carmel."
Hiram bit his tongue as he stood, striding to the window to stare out at the dark streets of Brooklyn. He didn't want to say anything just yet because nothing that came out of his mouth at the moment would be pleasant. He was glad to finally know what had happened between Rachel and her ex-boyfriend, but the information filled him with anger just the same. How dare someone do something like that? Both Shelby and Jesse had used and manipulated his little girl for their own purposes, and in the end both had left her. It just wasn't fair. Rachel was brash and abrasive, but there was a soft, tender core to her. She had an innocence that Shelby and Jesse obviously lacked. Exploiting that innocence was worse than unkind - it was downright cruel.
And why hadn't Rachel told him or Leroy any of this when it happened? Hiram didn't know, and he suspected that the only person who could explain it to him was Rachel herself. If she was willing. She had her own reasons for doing things, reasons that were deeply inscrutable until she explained them. Often her explanations made perfect sense in a twisted, very Rachel-like sort of way.
"Meanwhile, Will Schuester called me into his office to talk. He said he was concerned that Rachel wanted more out of our reunion than I was prepared to give." Shelby smiled softly. "He's a good man, and a wonderful teacher. He was concerned for Rachel's well-being. He made me realize that Rachel is practically grown, and she doesn't really need me. My reasons for reuniting with her were selfish, and that's why I broke things off. I told her we needed some space. Soon after, I adopted a baby girl and accepted a job at a community teaching theater in Manhattan. It's not Broadway and it's not glamorous, but it's not high school either." She shrugged. "I hadn't spoken to either of them since, until Jesse called me this evening - yesterday evening now, I guess - and told me to get over here."
"I really don't know what to say, Shelby," Leroy said quietly. He reached up and lay a hand against Rachel's blanketed knee where it rested close to his head. "I know Mr. Schuester means well, but...I just don't know. She's not the baby you gave us all those years ago, but she's not an adult yet, either and she's still so delicate. What you did really hurt her. You're right that she doesn't need you, but that doesn't mean she didn't want you. You devastated her, and you need to know that."
"I don't know how to be a mother to a teenager. I thought leaving was the best thing I could do."
"I wish you had talked to us about it first. You gave her life, but you're not her mom. She's an amazing young woman and I understand your wish to connect with her, but I can't begin to explain to you the harm you did."
"You don't need to. I may not know Rachel well, but I can see the effect of what I did every time I look at Jesse. This whole mess hurt him, too, and badly."
"He'll get over it," Leroy said, dismissing Jesse offhand. "He's at college in L.A., with plenty of distractions."
Shelby shook her head. "That's not Jesse. I don't think you understand. Before he met Rachel, the only thing he cared about was the stage. Winning competitions and being the best - that's all Jesse knows. He's never had to work for anything before. But Rachel made him struggle, and she made him really feel, and I don't think he's forgiven her for either of those things. But I saw from the moment I stepped into this house that he's a wreck, and I think it's because of the unfinished business between him and Rachel."
"He still loves her," Hiram said quietly from the window.
"The heart wants what the heart wants," Shelby repeated.
"You just got through telling us that it was all a game to him," Leroy argued.
"It started out that way. I don't for one minute believe he still felt the same when it ended. I don't know what would have happened between them if I had released him. I suspect it's possible he might have stayed at McKinley and competed against me and Vocal Adrenaline. Like I said, no one has ever been able to reach inside of him. Not even me. But the way he talks about Rachel - I think she gets to him and he doesn't know how to deal with it."
Jesse shifted in the resulting silence, moving in his sleep. He was above the blankets and Rachel was below, but he spooned his body around hers, drawing close against her back and tucking an arm into the crook of her curled body. Rachel made a soft noise but did not wake, and all Hiram could do was stare. He didn't know much about Jesse St. James, but he could see the gravitational pull between him and Rachel, the two exerting pressure on each other, tugging inexorably. He'd seen it between them before, but never as defined as now, when they were both sleeping, their guards down and their inner selves vulnerable to view. Jesse sighed and settled, an unspoken tension leeching from his body as he drifted deeper into sleep wrapped around Rachel's curled form.
"This isn't working," Shelby said softly. "We need to settle things between the two of them. Maybe me, too, but their relationship is my first priority."
"Rachel is our priority," Leroy argued. "Not him. I realize I'm the one who called him, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about any of this."
"He found her," Shelby reminded him. "He found her within a matter of days, when nobody else knew where to look. There's a bond there, and you can't deny it. I'm not saying I want to play matchmaker or anything like that. Frankly, I think it would probably be best for all involved if they could just hash things out and part amicably. But Jesse is stubborn, and strong, and I don't think that's going to happen quickly or easily."
"What do you suggest, then?"
Shelby took a deep breath. "I have a plan. You're not going to like it, but I need you to hear me out."
A/N: Next time Rachel (finally!) gets to tell her side of the story, and we learn what Shelby has up her sleeve.
