Down The Rabbit Hole

After the fiasco at the Dal Lauren and Tamsin retired to Lauren's apartment were Lauren made good on the promise to Tamsin of watching the copy of Alice in Wonderland she won from Kenzi.

They were now watching Johnny Depp as the eccentric Mad Hatter. Tamsin noticed how engulfed Lauren was in this movie. She loved seeing Lauren this way. When she was passionate about something she let it spill on her face.

"You know you remind me of Alice?" Tamsin said, not being able to keep her eyes off of Lauren.

Lauren tore her eyes off of the movie to face Tamsin with a bright smile on her face. "Oh yeah? How so?"

"Other than the fact you are both awkward blondes-"

"- I resent that."

"- You both are trapped in a world that you didn't really believe existed. You were both thrown in to it with no way out." Tamsin started to feel guilty about what she would have to do to Lauren. She didn't know how but somehow this human tore down the wall she had up and made a place in the Valkyrie's heart.

"Well you know if I'm Alice what does that make you?" Lauren asked playfully.

"You tell me." Tamsin said as equally playful.

"Well," Lauren started as she contemplated her answer, "You are as mad as the Mad Hatter-"

"- I resent that."

"- but you're as beautiful and good as the White Queen."

Tamsin smiled at Lauren's answer. Was she really blushing right now?

"I think Kenzi is the March Hare." Lauren said then Tamsin burst out laughing.

"Then Dyson and Bo must be Tweedledee and Tweddledum." Tamsin said as they both burst out into a fit of laughter.

"My father used to call me little Alice." She said to Tamsin. Tamsin just smiled wanting to hear more about Lauren's past. "I watched the cartoon so many times when I was younger that I could recite every line and sing every song in the movie. My parents were always there to sing right along with me."

Tamsin could see Lauren's past making it's way into Lauren's eyes. It was a mixed look of overwhelming sadness and joy. "Do you miss them?" She could see the tears welling up in her lover's eyes.

"More than anything." It came out as a whisper. A tear escaped the doctor's eye.

Tamsin sat closer to Lauren and put an arm around her. "I am dead to them." Lauren let out as she tried to compose herself. "The terms of my enslavement meant that I had to leave my life at the door never to return to it. The Ash told my friends and family that Nadia and I fell victim to a mysterious disease in the Congo where I died and Nadia had fallen into a coma." Lauren laughed sadly to herself. It broke Tamsin's heart. "Even if I ever did find a way to wake Nadia up I was never supposed to go back home. I even went to my own funeral, in disguise of course. I saw my parents crying over their dead daughter's coffin. My mother physically broke down as they were lowering the coffin into the ground. My knees buckled and I would've collapsed if The Ash weren't there to catch me. Every year at the anniversary of my funeral I leave a page from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland at my grave and I wait to see my parents come and read the page I've left, just hoping they know I'm out there somewhere." Lauren shook her head

Tamsin could only sit in silence as she saw the always composed woman next to her break down with every word she said. She wanted nothing more than to make Lauren feel comforted. "Turns out I gave up my life for nothing and The Ash knew it."

"What do you mean?" Tamsin asked

"He cursed Nadia so I would enslave myself to him. Bo found out and woke her up just to kill her in the end."

"What!?" Tamsin said as she abruptly stood up from the couch. "That asshole tricked you into slavery and the succubus killed the woman you gave your life up for. If The Ash wasn't dead I'd kill him but I promise you I will make the succubus pay."

Lauren stood up and cradled Tamsin's cheek in her palm to calm her down. "It's ok babe." The term of affection really seemed to get Tamsin's attention. "I've learned to accept my fate. If everything didn't happen the way it did I would've never met you." Tamsin' finally looked into Lauren's eyes and could see something in them. Was that love she saw? "I don't know what it is we are," Lauren started "but I would like to have you by my side."

"Are you asking me to go steady with you doctor?" Tamsin smiled trying to ease the tension. "Because if you are," she continued "I might have to jump your bones right now."

"So is that a yes." Lauren joked loving how at ease she felt with Tamsin.

"A thousand yeses." Tamsin said as she captured Lauren's lips in her own.


There he was again. The man full of sadness in his eyes. She had a feeling she knew him. She wanted to go over to him every time she saw him but was never able to.

There she was as a gladiator dying; as a knight dying; as a pirate dying. She knew she should've died in Afghanistan but something or someone saved her. The dream kept replaying in her sleep. Every time she noticed something different. The necklace looked so familiar. It was a silver chain with a pendant of a Pegasus attached. Every time she died she noticed it glow.

The women in her dream all looked so similar to each other. They each had blonde hair and strikingly green eyes. She wanted them to notice her but they never did. She wanted them to save her, but again they never did. The memory of Afghanistan kept replaying in her dreams. She was holding on tight to Lily trying to save her. As Lily died she saw the bright light. She saw the man and the woman. The man noticed her but the woman never did. As the woman walked away she finally saw who she was. Those eyes were unmistakable. The woman in Afghanistan was the one she had started to give her heart to. As the flash of light was rocketed towards her she made eye contact with the Valkyrie before she woke up.


"Tamsin!" She exclaimed as she shot up from bed.

The Valkyrie was sleeping right next to her before she felt a disturbance in the bed. The both of them were stark naked. She shot up and cradled Lauren in her arms.

"I'm right here babe." She said to her girlfriend trying to calm her down.

"You were there, you were right there!" Lauren exclaimed as her body was shaking.

"I'm right here." Tamsin said again confused but not letting go of her shaken Lauren.

"Why didn't you save me? Why didn't you save us?" Lauren asked as she pulled away from Tamsin's hold to stand up from the bed leaving Tamsin stunned.

"Lo," Tamsin started trying to calm her girlfriend down "What're you taking about?"

"In Afghanistan," Lauren started, giving no chance of calming down "You were there, why didn't you save her?"

Tamsin was beyond confused. She honestly had no idea what Lauren was talking about. "Save who?"

"Lily."

"Who is Lily?"

"She was my best friend." Lauren said as the memory of Lily seemed to calm her down. "She died in my arms in Afghanistan." She turned away from Tamsin "But you already knew that."

Tamsin got up from the bed and walked over to Lauren resting her hand on her shoulder. "Babe I am a Valkyrie," she started "I go wherever there are warriors honorable enough for my attention. I may have been in Afghanistan but I've been so many places throughout the recent years that I can honestly say I have no idea what you are talking about." Tamsin turned Lauren around so that they were facing each other. "I wouldn't have been able to see you or Lily there if I wasn't meant to bring you to Valhalla with me."

Lauren could feel herself calm down as she heard the honesty in Tamsin's words. "I need you to tell me everything you know about past lives."

"Lauren it's forbidden to tell anyone, human or fae, about their past lives." Tamsin said.

"I need you to Tamsin, please." She begged her girlfriend.

Tamsin nodded.

"I need to know who I was before." Lauren started "And I need to know why Odin keeps showing up in my lives."