Chapter 6

"Shirei," she whispered, unwrapping her arms from around her, and rose to her full height. Avariella and Olyvar shared a look of distress before Avariella urged Shirei, "Go back to your chambers, Shirei and clean yourself up." Shirei looked up at her, and nodded limply, wiping at her eyes before slowly walking away from them in the direction of her chambers. Avariella waited impatiently for the sound of her footfalls growing farther and farther away from them before whispering angrily to Olyvar, "How in the seven hells did this happen?"

Olyvar winced at the anger on her face, before replying calmly, "You remember that the King and father were in a meeting in the great hall before you left, correct?" Avariella nodded, an expression of impatience etched out on her features before it was overtaken by one of annoyance and shock, "Olyvar, are you saying that in the course of a few hours the King managed to convince our lord father to send Shirei off to Pinkmaiden castle? And with a betrothal? Betrothal pacts take time to forge, they never would have been able to send a raven all the way to Lord Piper and receive a response within the same day. Pink maiden castle is all the way near the border of the Westerlands, if I remember correctly. That simply is not possible. . ." she drifted off for a few moments before her eyes widened with realisation, "that means that the betrothal is not official yet—"

"Avariella the King announced it," Olyvar interrupted, an expression of tiredness appearing on his features, "Which means that it is official, even if the formal negotiations have not been made. When a King demands that a betrothal be made, you do it." Avariella felt anger boil within her at is words, and resisted the urge to pound her hands against the wall in her fury. "Lord Edmure is said to be close friends with Lewys Piper elder brother, mayhap's he may have mentioned it before he and Roslin made their way to Riverrun."

"Mayhap's," Avariella agreed reluctantly, though the anger on her face did not fade, and instead an expression of annoyance fluttered onto her face, "We do not know these people, Olyvar. They could be murderer's and rapists, hells the boy may be a monster—"

"He is only a boy, Avariella—"

"So was King Joffery," Avariella reminded him, her hazel eyes darkening at the thought of sending Shirei to someone like him. And it was all the Kings fault. Or her father's for agreeing to the match, but then the thought of leaving Shirei here, with people like Ser Trent and their bastard brother Black Walder for company. . .she nearly shuddered at the thought. "The Lannister boy was a king," Olyvar said, his eyes boring into hers. "Yes and looked what happened to him," she replied, washing hand over her face, where her cheeks had flushed red where her freckles were most prominent. She had heard varying accounts of what had happened to the boy king who turned out to be a bastard born of incest. Many whispered that the King in the North himself had chopped off his head at the Sept of Baelor, other's had whispered that the dragon queen had her dragons burn him alive in front of his mother. Avariella did not know, and she did not care, content with the notion that at least some form had justice had been served for the people who had started the damn war; the war her brother had died fighting to end. And now she was going to have to live in the North at Winterfell until she found a suitable match because her father wished to punish her—

Avariella froze where she stood, a look of unspeakable terror and disgust creeping onto her face. "What is it?" Olyvar asked, looking worried, "Avariella what—" He stopped when she raised a hand to halt his words. "Olyvar," she breathed, her eyes wide, "do you think that—that— that father is sending me to the North not only for punishment? Do you think he also expects me to—" her throat tightened with disgust at the thought, and the notion repulsed her so terribly that she could barely speak. Olyvar looked down at his feet with a gentle look in his eye as he nodded, and admitted quietly, "The thought has crossed my mind." He then sent a cautious look both ways, ever aware that they were standing in the middle of a corridor. Avariella blanched at his meaning, and snapped angrily, "Does father truly expect for me to whore myself for—"

"Avariella!" Olyvar exclaimed, his eyes widening, "Watch your tongue—"

She sent him an incredulous look, and replied loudly, "You are worried about me having to 'watch my tongue' and not about me having to—" she broke off the sentence, a look of complete and utter fury both darkening and reddening her features. She paced up and down the corridor, biting down on her lower lip. "This doesn't— it doesn't have to happen. He is an honourable man he would not lay with another, he loves his wife—"

"How could father ask me to do this?" she whispered to herself, stopping her pacing and with one last look at Olyvar, she took down the hall, her steps quick and unrelenting. He expects me to whore myself around for that blasted man, she thought, maybe bare him a bastard or two. She could feel bile rise in her throat as she stalked through the corridors, and she wished more than anything that she did not have to go. But the sinking feeling in her heart told her that it did not matter what she wanted— it was not in her control. Nothing ever was, and she would be dragged to the North kicking and screaming if need be. Avariellas' mind ran wild with thoughts that nearly drove her to become ill, but she managed to quell down the urge as she absentmindedly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she walked.

For a small, brief moment—one that caused her stomach to churn— she wondered whether or not her future husband would expect her to. . .entice the king into her bed, and the mere thought of it made her shudder. She paused at long last, and leaned against a stone wall, her cheeks flushed from her rapid strides. Damn them all, she thought bitterly, but quickly forced all of her emotions off her face once she realised that the hallway she had stopped it was occupied by numerous servants and family members shuffling through, who had all stopped to stare at her. She bit back a scowl as she sent them all a look of venom, and cursed herself for showing such great emotion in front of all of them. Granted, she had had a few more emotional episodes in the past previous days, but somehow this was different, and the feeling unnerved her. Avariella quickly moved out of the hall, clasping her hands together tightly.

She would be leaving one nightmare for another it would seem.


It was only a matter of time before she caught sight of the King.

Avariella knew that. She wasn't a fool. But the longer she could prolong being in his or any of his close parties presence, the better. Olyvar had told her that Shirei would be leaving within a moon's time, and her within a fortnight. Typically, as Avariella discovered, when a young maiden such as herself was leaving home that required her to have new dresses made. Apparently, her father decided that now was the time to waste gold on having dresses made.

Avariella would have spat in his face when he told her, if it were not for Shirei receiving new dresses too.

"Lift your arms dear," the seamstress commanded Avariella, and she did so wordlessly, biting down on her lip in order to silence her annoyance. She caught eye of Shirei across the room, who was looking up at her with a conflicted expression. Avariella smiled at her softly, and attempting to cheer Shirei up. Shirei smiled back for a fleeting moment, before the smile slid off her face within moments. Avariella averted her eyes from hers and stared at the closed doors of her chambers, wishing she was anywhere but there. It had been two days since the announcement had been made, and in those two days Avariella could already see how bare the room was slowly becoming. The stack of books on the wooden desk was gone; the cloak she wore when she went swimming was no longer draped across her chair and numerous chests— both opened and unopened— were laying there near the back of the room.

It was a painful reminder of the inevitable ending to her situation, and it made her want to throw herself into the Green Fork. She caught Shirei's eye once more but quickly glanced down at the seamstress, who was biting on her lip as she inspected her dress. The woman was old, with blotchy skin and greying hair, but her fingers were quick and nimble as she made the necessary adjustments. "I'll need to see if I have some warm furs to make for you," the seamstress told her, moving away from her much to Avariella's relief. She let her arms sink down to her sides and glanced down at herself, shifting uncomfortably at the tightened bodice that made chest look larger than it was. Avariella was not particularly well endowed, but the adjusted hem line made it seem so.

"Is it necessary for the bodice to be so tightened?" she asked, watching the seamstress. The lady— what was her name? Wyla?— eyed her for a moment, before snorting loudly. "I've been advised to make you look as desirable as possible my lady," the seamstress muttered, not looking at her.

"I thought the Northerners didn't care about appearances Avariella," Shirei commented, and Avariella froze, unable to think of a response fast enough. The seamstress seemed to realise that, and quickly quipped back, "Every man wants his wife to look desirable, even a Northerner."

A troubled look appeared on Shirei's face, and Avariella saw the internal doubt and insecurity her sister felt in her eyes. She finds herself moving towards Shirei before she can stop herself, and she ignores the seamstress's protests as she crouches in front of her. "What is it?" she questions Shirei, her hazel eyes gently urging her sister to talk.

"I'm not beautiful Ava," Shirei whispers, biting down on her lower lip, "Not like you or Roslin. I never have been, and what if my betrothed does not find me desirable or beautiful?" Avariella stares at her for a moment, before offering Shirei her hand. She watches her hesitate before taking it, and she guides Shirei towards the mirror, and positions Shirei in front of her, so that her back is to Avariella's stomach. She can hear the seamstress exit the room as she mumbles something about more needles, but she does't bother to look away from their reflection.

"Shirei," she whispers eventually, once she managed to find the words she needed to say to express what she felt, "Being beautiful isn't only something that you can be described as being, you can also be beautiful yourself." Shirei frowns at her in the mirror, and says, "That doesn't make any sense Avariella." Avariella shakes her head slightly and grasps onto Shirei's shoulders, her eyes a mixture of fierceness and gentleness. "Shirei, you have the kindest and most forgiving nature of any person who I have ever met. You see the best in everyone, and you light up the room with your joy, and that makes you the most beautiful woman in the whole of the Riverlands. Don't ever doubt that you are a beautiful person Shirei, because you are. Don't ever doubt that."

"Thank you Avariella," Shirei whispered, swiping at her eyes.

Avariella merely felt her lips twitch upwards in response.


That is how the next few days pass dress fittings and packing. She goes to the library empty-handed and leaves with a stack of books that tower over her, threatening to topple over. (Lady Catelyn looks for her on this outing, but Avariella hides behind one of the bookcases. She doesn't want to see or talk to any of them. She can't— for fear of losing her mind if she does).

And so that is how it goes she dodges and runs and hides away from all of them as slowly slowly, her room becomes more and more bare and the pile of chests begin to increase. And she goes through all of this numb— as though she can't believe it's happening. And then the days slowly, slowly slip away, and it's with a jolt in the dead of the night that Avariella realises that she's about to leave the next morning.


Avariella makes her way to the lake for the final time the next morning, and this time she does not even take Max with her. It is still quiet out as she walks along the path, the light from the rising sun fluttering through her hair. Her pace is gradual and her gaze is lingering as she makes her way there, but she is quiet all the while. Her heart is a study thrum in her chest, and she closes her eyes as she walks, simply taking in the feeling of her feet on the ground below, of the distant sound of the Green Fork echoing in her ears, of the distinct smell that she could never quite describe.

Avariella is glad that she's alone, she is truly, but then she reaches the lake and she stands there silently, an unreadable expression on her face. But then the longer she stared, the lonelier she felt, and her insides began to wilt under all weight of emotion that was suddenly thrust onto her. She thought of Shirei and Olyvar, both of whom were still in their beds and a hint of smile began to play on her lips as she whirled around and began to hurry back to the castle, excitement pounding through her veins.

"Shirei," she murmured, shaking her younger sister's shoulder, "Wake up, come on Shirei," she whispered, "We have to go." Shirei looked up at her from where her face was buried in her pillow, and groaned. "Ava—"

"Shh," Avariella whispered, a small smile playing on her lips, "We're going to go swimming Shirei, be ready by the time I get back, okay? I'm going to go get Olyvar and some food alright?"

"What?" Shirei asked, rubbing her eyes tiredly as she propped herself up on her elbows, her dark hair spilling down her back.

"Get ready for swimming," Avariella repeated, a smile breaking out on her face as she moved away from Shirei and towards the door. "Ava—"

"Get ready Shirei," she called out behind her, opening and then closing the door quickly. She made her way through the hallway and down to the kitchens, and she could see the people she passed by glance at her in surprise, no doubt unnerved by her cheerfulness considering—

No, she thought, shoving the thought back into the depths of her mind, don't you dare. She shook her head slightly and moved forward but stopped in her steps once she caught sight of Arra. "Arra!" she called out, watching her handmaiden rear back in surprise. Avariella strode towards her quickly, smoothing out the front of her cloak as she spoke, "I need you to prepare a basket of food for me, Olyvar and Shirei from the kitchens. Make sure to provide a few towels, there must be a few more in my chambers, if not, search somewhere else. I need to go find Olyvar so I would like for the basket to be prepared by the time all of us come down—" Avariella stopped her rant once she noticed the wide-eyed gaze Arra was directing her way. She felt her cheeks flush and she shifted awkwardly under her unblinking stare.

"So, if you may please get that done that would be lovely," she murmured, before brushing past Arra quickly, her face deepening into a deeper shade of red.

"My lady," Arra called out, making Avariella stop in her steps. She resisted the urge to wince, and attempted to smooth her reddening features before turning to face her.

"Yes?" Avariella uttered, looking at anywhere but her.

"Would you like for me to pack a book for you as well?" Arra asked, a genuine smile appearing on her lips.

Avariella resisted the urge to gape at her, but as she stared at Arra silently, a gradual change began in her chest. Her throat began to dry up due to the sudden rawness forming in her chest and suddenly all she wanted to do was run away and curl up into a ball. "Yes," she said finally, once the rawness had subsided, "That would be loving."

And then with a flash of a sad smile in her direction, Avariella walked in the direction of Olyvar's chamber. Her brother's chamber hallway stinks of ale and sweat when she makes her way down it, and she wrinkles her nose in distaste as the odour lingers under her nose. She hasn't been to Olyvar's chamber in over a year, and so it takes her a moment to remember which one it was. She rapped her knuckles on the door, and waited impatiently for Olyvar to open the door.

"Olyvar!" She called out, knocking on the door again, "May you please open the door?" Silence.

Avariella sighed loudly and removed her hand from the door, her jaw tightening in frustration. She was just about to turn away when the door swung open, revealing a slightly disheveled Olyvar behind it. "Avariella?" he asked confusedly, rubbing at his eyes tiredly, "What are you—"

"Get ready," Avariella interrupted, staring at him with a slightly amused expression as she noticed the scratch marks on his bare chest, that were undoubtedly caused by a female. "Ready?" Olyvar questioned, gaping at her, not yet noticing her amusement at his current state, "For what?"

"Swimming," she replied shortly, "I hardly think that we will be able to in the North, and I figured that you may appreciate the opportunity." Olyvar nodded silently, wiping a hand across his face as he leaned his other hand against the door. "I'll meet you near the gate," Avariella told him but she couldn't resist adding, "You may want to cover the damage one of your companions left you, Olyvar. Shirei will be joining us."

She cackled loudly at the startled look on his face, and made her way out of the hallway, ignoring Olyvar's splutters of complaint.

"Just get dressed quickly!" she calls out over her shoulder, shaking her head in amusement.


Avariella leaves Shirei with the basket of food by the gate to wait for Olyvar as she makes her way to the kennels to fetch Max. The thought of seeing her beloved companion makes her smile, but then the dark thoughts and emotions she shoved to the back of her mind begin to creep back to the surface as she remembers that in a few short hours she will have to—

Don't, she tells herself, sighing loudly as she groans inwardly, her strides quickening. Avariella nearly topples over with relief once she catches sight of the kennels, her heart leaping in her chest. Almost there, almost there, she inwardly chants, and by the time she nears the kennels she is almost jogging. She can hear Max begin to bark excitedly once he realises that it's her, and the sound makes her lips twitch up into a smile. Willis looks at her with an impassive expression, and he wordlessly moves to get Max for her. She waits by the door patiently, and jumps when she feels Max nudging into her stomach with his face.

"Down boy," she murmurs, petting him gently as she catches Willis's eye. "Thank you," she says politely, once Max has calmed down. "T'was not a problem, milady," he tells her. Avariella is surprised when she catches a glint of sadness in his eyes as he stares at her, shifting awkwardly under her gaze. "You'll take care of him?" she asks quietly, ignoring Max's excited whimpers. Willis merely nods. She returns the nod wordlessly, her heart heavy in her chest as she makes her way out of the kennels with Max by her side.

Shirei squeals excitedly when she catches sight of Max, and Avariella lets him run over to her and ignores the concerned glance Olyvar sends her way. "Let's go," Avariella murmurs, and she walks next to Olyvar, allowing Shirei and Max to bound ahead. "You seem pensive," Olyvar murmured beside her, his strides slow and deliberate compared to her slightly faster ones. "Don't I always?' she quipped back, a forced smile appearing on her face as they looked at each other.

"Ava—"

"Don't," she said sharply, a sad glint lingering in her hazel eyes, "Not now." Her gaze shifted ahead to look at Shirei, and she smiled faintly at the sound of her giggling at Max. Without another word to Olyvar, Avariella practically skipped over to Shirei and Max, the basket bouncing in her arms.

It's a good day.

The best day Avariella has had ever since her brother died. This is surprising to her, all things considering, but the thought does nothing to lessen how content she feels. Avariella lays out the blanket on the grass near the small lake, right under the unflinching sun. She sets the basket down beside her, and watches happily as Olyvar pushes Shirei into the water, and she even laughs at the sight of her sister's startled face. Luckily, Olyvar had pushed her into the shallower side as Shirei can not swim properly. Max barks loudly as they all laugh happily, and Avariella calls out to him, and let him lay his head in her lap as he props down next to her, lying on her discarded cloak.

She jumps into the water after they both nag at her incessantly, and she delights in the way they shy away from the large splash her body creates when she jumps in. Her and Olyvar teach Shirei how to float in the shallow end, and Avariella relishes in the feeling of her gown clinging tightly to her body like a second layer of skin, and her curls her toes deeper into the muddy bottom below her. Shirei flails and panics for a while, but eventually she manages to float on her own, and she throws herself at Avariella, hugging her tightly as she squeals in excitement. Olyvar catches her eye over Shirei's shoulder, and they smile at each other fondly.

It's easy to forget the gaping holes that are difficult to ignore in moments such as those. Avariella remembers when it was only her, Olyvar, Roslin and Avos coming to this place before the man was found in the lake, and the memories make her heart clench. It was different, and somehow all the same at once. There's a moment when they're all sitting on the blanket about to eat and she's listening to Shirei ramble as she takes out some grapes when she notices the distant look in Olyvar's eye.

It's then she realises that maybe Olyvar notices how different it is too, and her heart softens ever so softly at the realisation. Max falls into the water after they finish eating, and they laugh themselves silly as he quickly paddles over to the other side and clambers out. He shakes himself violently when he reaches them, almost as if in retaliation as water splatters all over them. Eventually, Avariella ends up lying on her back with Shirei's head on her stomach, Max lying on her feet and Olyvar's legs on top of her own. She runs her fingers through Shirei's damp hair, and listens carefully as Shirei begins to snore quietly, nuzzling her head deeper into Avariella's stomach.

"Avariella," Olyvar whispers, breaking the silence, "Thank you for today."

There's a moment of silence before he speaks again.

"We have to go back," he murmurs, his voice heavy with emotion. Regret, compassion, happiness, relaxation. . . Avariella can't decipher them all.

"Not yet," she whispers eventually, and she shifts slightly, and she wiggles her fingers until he places his hand in her's.

Avariella's eyes drift shut, and she tries to shove down the turmoil within her but her mind can't help but whisper tauntingly his hand is too callused, too rough— where is the brother whose hand was just the same as your own?

They return to the Twins before the sun begins to set, and the air between them is thick and heavy with sadness as the approach the castle. Max seems to be affected by the change in tone as he walks limply beside her, his head low. Shirei is quiet as they walk, and an unreadable expression too serious for a child her age appears on her features. Neither Avariella or Olyvar attempt to comfort her.

"I'll take care of Max before I go," Shirei tells her, once they reach the gates. Avariella stares down at her in surprise, but Shirei merely hugs her and then Olyvar, before hurrying up into the castle, leaving the two of them to stare after her. "She'll be okay when we're gone," Olyvar murmured beside her, his voice laced with a hint of proudness. Avariella didn't respond, and simply sighed softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before beginning to walk in direction of the kennels. Olyvar followed her wordlessly, and they walked in silence for a while, with Max between them. Avariella could feel Olyvar refrain himself from talking; from asking her questions that she couldn't answer. She was grateful that he managed to keep his mouth shut. She couldn't handle his concern right now. Her insides felt too raw, too used.

Yes she will be, Avariella wanted to say, but somehow the words wouldn't come out. Slowly, they reached the kennels, and Avariella suddenly stopped in her tracks. She couldn't do it. All of a sudden, her heartbeat was ringing loudly in her ears as her breathing slowly but surely became heavier and faster. Max noticed the sudden change within her, and was nuzzling his face into her legs, whimpering every few moments when she failed to pet him. She bit down on her lower lip so hard she drew blood and stared determinedly at the kennel. Just a few more steps, she thought, trying her best to ignore Max's whimpers.

"Come on boy," she murmured, her voice breaking as she fought to hold back her tears. She managed to reach the outside of the doorway with Max at her heels, Olyvar having stayed back a few paces to give her some space. Some time to say goodbye.

Hesitantly, Avariella crouched down in front of Max so that she was on her kneels and began to caress his fur lovingly. She remembered when Avos had placed him in her arms the day he was born, all of those years ago, and her heart breaks once she realises that she won't be there on his last day. "Hey Max,'" she whispers and she buries her head into his fur, clutching onto it tightly. She would normally wrinkle her nose at his smell, but now she embraces it; cherishes it even. She can feel his body tense as he begins to realise that she isn't saying goodbye until tomorrow but for forever, and he begins to whimper loudly. The sound breaks her heart and she can't bare to hear it any longer so she quickly stands up and swipes at her eyes, unable to look at him any longer.

Max begins to bark fervently now as Willis comes and begins to drag him away. Avariella stands there helplessly, and she can feel her bottom lip begin to tremble as she holds back her tears. Her hands curl into fists at her sides, and she is thankful that her nails were cut short because if they had been longer they would have sunken into her skin due to how tightly she was clenching her fists now. Avariella turns on her heel and begins to walk in the direction of Olyvar, her eyes placed firmly on the ground beneath her.

"Olyvar—"

She jumps at the sight of the King and his mother standing next to Olyvar, with Brienne of Tarth standing behind them. Their conversation stops at the sight of her, and Avariella resists the urge to flush under the critical gaze of Lady Catelyn, suddenly all too aware of her dishevelled appearance and her red rimmed eyes. Avariella can feel Olyvar's gaze boring into the side of her face but she doesn't look at him. Too busy grasping at the remainders of her dignity in order to force a greeting out of her mouth.

"Your grace, my lady," she utters, curtsying appropriately, tucking a strand of her wild red hair behind her ear, "What a surprise to see you both on this fine afternoon." She manages to keep a straight face as Max's howls begin to echo through the kennels and she bites down on her bottom lip tightly in order to hide the extent of her distress. It doesn't work.

"Are you alright, my lady?" The King asks, though his blue eyes do not reveal the thoughts behind it. Avariella shifts under his gaze and replies lowly, "Yes, I am, your grace, thank you for your concern." Avariella can feel her eyes begin to burn with tears and so she quickly dismisses herself from the conversation with a few words, "I hate to be rude your grace, my lady, but I must hurry back in order to get ready for the feast tonight." Her voice breaks at the end, and she quickly clears her throat, hating herself for the slight sign of weakness she allowed herself to show in front of them. "If you will both excuse me."

She doesn't wait for them to answer before she quickly hurries away, letting out a small gasp as she strides forward, eager to be within the confines of her chamber so that she be allowed to mourn without the watchful eyes of the King and Lady Catelyn on her back.


The final feast is filled with drunken fools and half hearted farewells but Avariella is itching to get away by the time the second hour hits. She stares at her father with barely concealed hatred, one that rivals the hatred she feels towards the King. How sad it is, she thinks, that a daughter is capable of hating her father so much.

There are duties she must fulfil however, and it is when no one is looking that she finally slips away.

There is one last goodbye she must make before she goes, and it is one that has been a relentless itch under her skin that scratched at her heart.

Avos.

This home— this wretched place she had called her home for the past seven and ten years was the last piece of her brother she had left. Avariella had always felt that as long as she stayed here, Avos would somehow still be a part of her, as though she was keeping a part of him alive somehow. And now she had to leave. Avariella hesitated outside the heavy oak door, and refused the urge to wrinkle her nose at the smell in the male corridor. Unlike her and her sisters, her brothers had more than one corridor dedicated to their chambers, due to there being a larger amount of boys than girls in the Frey house.

The chamber is empty and bare when she enters it, and the sound of the door closing is soft behind her but for some reason it echoes in her ears, and the air in the room is suddenly stifling. She stands there against the door and lets out a quiet sigh, rubbing a hand across her throat. Avariella stood there for a few moments, her heartbeat ringing in her ears. It took everything in her to take that first step, and once she had managed to do it she felt as though she were going to collapse.

The bed was still made, surprisingly, and she forced herself to walk towards it, and sat down on it with a quiet sigh. She traced the patterns of the quilt, and suddenly she felt so lost she wanted to cry. Avariella missed him; she missed her brother more than anything in the world and leaving her home, leaving him was suddenly so unbearable she wanted to rip her heart out of her chest. She let out a haggard breath, her eyes prickling before she quickly wiped at her ears, and she was so frustrated with herself she could feel her face turn red.

"I'm so sick of crying," she ground out, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears. Avariella let her eyes wonder across the room, her heart curling up in her chest like a wounded animal. "I have no idea what I'm doing Avos," she said numbly, playing with her hands, "You would have wanted to go North with me and Olyvar, I know you would have. You always—" her voice broke and she quickly cleared her throat and continued, "You always talked about travelling— exploring the world and having stories of your own. Going to the North wouldn't be so bad if you were here Avos. You always had a way of making things seem more exciting then they actually were." Avariella gulped loudly, and stared at the bedpost instead of her hands. "I hate them Avos," she confessed quietly, "I hate the King, I hate his wife I hate his mother, his uncle—everyone. All of them. I've never been so full of hate before Avos. Not even Shirei or Olyvar is enough to quell it even remotely. But that isn't even the worse part. Being with them, everyday, living with them, getting married to one of them— gods Avos it's like a nightmare I can't wake up from. I wonder if you liked any of them, any of the Northmen. Hells, I wonder if you met or heard of my future husband, whomever he may be. If you did, I hoped you liked him, you never really mentioned meeting any Northmen that you were fond of— or that you found memorable."

She stood up reluctantly, and slowly moved towards the door. "The worst part of all this is that I'll never hear about what you'll have to say about it. I'll never know how you would have reacted— at least, I'll never know for sure. And you'll never meet your future nieces or nephews and never be able to make fun of my betrothed and you'll never have a wife or children of your own and they will. Gods Avos the thought makes me sick." Avariella had reached the door by now, and she rested her palm against it as she glanced back towards the room one last time— the last time. "I won't forget what they did Avos—I can't— I won't. I'll miss you my whole life. I love you—I miss you, I'll never forget you."

She pushed the door open gently, and whispered, "Goodbye."

And then she left, her heart shattering in her chest all the while, but her eyes were dry and her blood was on fire.


The sky was dark and cloudy when they left.

It was fitting from Avariella's perspective, as she stared up at the dark grey sky. The sun was battling with the clouds, trying it's best to shine through them, but ultimately failing. Avariella glanced away from the sky and was suddenly aware of her father still droning on about gods-knew- what. Her attention shifted from her father and her breath caught in her chest as she caught sight of the large army spread out over the hill, at the sight of all the banners and the men. She had seen the army when they had first come to the Twins, but she had been overcome with worry and sadness at Avos and Olyvar leaving that she didn't fully realise how big it was. She was careful to hide her anxiousness.

Her hair fluttered with the breeze, and she laced her hands together in front of her, staring blankly ahead. Avariella was aware of Shirei standing there beside her, and could feel the trembles running through her body. Avariella gently placed a hand on her shoulder, and once her father had finally finished talking and the King began to thank him Avariella looked down at Shirei. Her face was ghostly pale, and her eyes were wide with sadness. Her expression made Avariella's heart stop, but she forced herself to look at the interaction between her father and the Kings party, as they all began to thank him. Avariella caught eye of the Queen, who looked as beautiful and as lost as she had since Avariella had met her. It made her insides bristle, and so she quickly glanced away, eager to be in a tolerant mood when they entered the carriage.

Half a month spent in a carriage with Lady Catelyn and the Queen, she thought, oh how I can barely contain my joy!

Olyvar must have guessed what she had been thinking because his lips twitched upwards in the corner of her eye. Avariella felt Shirei begin to calm under her hand, and she began to listen to what the King was saying.

"We thank you for your hospitality Lord Walder. I vow to uphold my promise to your family, Lord Walder and take care of your daughter as my ward until we find her a true and honest husband. . ."

She resisted the urge to walk up to him and slap him across the face. Avariella didn't have to wait longer for the King to finish with his speech, and once he finally had all of their gazes turned to her and Olyvar. I'm not ready, Avariella thought, squeezing Shirei's shoulder tightly. You never will be, a voice inside her whispered back, and so she planted a false smile on her face as she stared at her father, and moved to face Shirei so that she was standing in front of her.

"Write to me whenever you can," she told her, watching Shirei's eyes begin to water, "And to Roslin and to Olyvar. Be good, and be happy. Don't be afraid Shirei and don't cry," she said fiercely, grasping onto her shoulders. "I'll miss you," Avariella told her, and moved back a step but Shirei wouldn't let her go. She leapt forward and wrapped her arms around her waist, and began to sob into her middle.

"Don't go Ava!" Shirei whimpered loudly. Avariella was sure the King and his party could hear, "Please don't go!"

Avariella needed her to stop. She had to stop.

"Shirei," she said firmly, grasping onto her shoulders tightly in an attempt to get her off. "You have to get off now." But she wouldn't let go and Avariella couldn't find it in herself to make her—

"Come on Shirei," Arra said, ripping her away from Avariella and hugging her close to her body as she began to take her away, "We have to go." Avariella watched this happen with a numbness that scared her, and she didn't even realise that her hands were shaking until Olyvar stood next to her. "I'll go say goodbye to Shirei," he murmured, moving in their direction, "You go say goodbye to everyone else."

Avariella nodded dispassionately and moved to say goodbye to the rest of her family with insincere farewells. She wouldn't see any of them again; and she didn't care to. But throughout the process she felt a pair of eyes bore into the back of her head, but she didn't turn back to see who it was. When she reached her father she felt so tired and alone she wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear.

"Lord father," she said aloofly, staring at him with dead eyes, "Thank you for everything. I will miss you and pray for your good health. I give you my most sincerest thanks for providing me with this opportunity." The words were said tonelessly and without any affection, but her father didn't seem to care as he bent down to press a wet kiss to her cheek. Avariella resisted the urge to shudder in disgust. "Do not disappoint me," he whispered in her ear, before coughing loudly next to her face. All she did was stare at him in turn, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of thinking that she cared.

She took a step back and nodded but before she could turn away her father stopped her.

"Bring that wretched mutt here!" He commanded, and she watched with rising interest as two guards from the side brought in a chained Max, who began to bark at the sight of her. She didn't even realise that she moving forward until her hand was petting Max's head as a rush of affection flooded through her. "Hey, boy," she murmured, and turned to stare at her father, attempting to hide the shock behind her eyes. "Thank you, father," she said, and for once there was an actual note of sincerity in her voice. Avariella glanced at the King and his party out of the corner of her eye, and was unnerved to find most of them staring at her. "And you all as well, for allowing me to bring him. I will make sure he is not an inconvenience to any of you."

The King was about to reply before her father snorted and said, "Yes, yes, very touching you all must be getting along now." Olyvar had returned swiftly, and he caught her eye for a moment, a questioning look in his gaze before— She frowned at him, trying to decipher the glint of surprise and worry in his eyes as he stared at her. He glanced away, and that was when she knew that they had to leave. It took everything in her to move towards the carriage, and she watched it with a strange calmness that dulled any other emotion within her.

"Farewell," she murmured, and then she was helped into the carriage after the Queen and Lady Catelyn.

After the carriage had begun to move, it started to rain. Avariella shifted against the seat and tried her best to stifle a yawn, the echo of a dire wolfs howl ringing in her ears.

It would be a long journey to Winterfell.

A/N There is no apology in the world that encompasses how sorry I am for how long this took. Writer's block, school, and swim practices have been a bitch, and I AM finishing the story, don't worry. However, updates will no longer be once a week unfortunately. Sorry about that guys. Second of all, thank you all for everything. For your patience, and the reviews, and the favourites/follows. It means a lot. Please review, feedback is what drives an author to do better. I know this chapter seems kinda rushed, but I was just in such a hurry to get it ready for you all. Sorry about that. Tell me what you think! Thanks again!

Until next time (whenever that may be),

Fionakevin073