Where No Man Has Gone Before Ch 7

The Blest Sexist

A/N: Get ready for a long, tall serving of Captain Northman and Yeoman Stackhouse. This fic is rated L for lemons! Nuff said! Thanks for the reviews! *smirks* I am a review HO! Let the games begin! Oh, the random phrase generator has proffered blest sexist as my inspiration for this week's offering ; D

Geek Note: I've made sexy SVM witch Amelia Broadway, a sexy Kanutu woman (remember Kanutu Nona, from the last chapter??), a highly skilled, intelligent healer/magician and femme fatale. LOL, I put a hint of Mudd's Women in there as well!

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Eric's POV

Captain's Log Stardate 3152.15: We have retrieved all crewmembers from the Gamma 4 outpost, who have reported that the Romulans have threatened their livelihood and have admitted to noshing on humanoid "snack packs." Their leader, the very impressive Kanutu Woman Amelia of the Broad's Way, demands a personal conference with the Romulan Commander. All hailing frequencies are open as we attempt to resolve the current crisis. Let it also be noted that Yeoman Stackhouse received her First Class ranking today for service above and beyond the call of duty. Northman out.

The entire crew of the Cornucopia stood at attention in the main assembly area on Deck 11 as I gave my little spiel.

"Since the days of the first wooden vessels, all ship masters have had the happy privilege of commending crew members who have performed heroic services for their captain and fellow crewmembers. And so, we are gathered here today with you, Yeoman Sookie Adele Stackhouse, in the sight of your fellows, and in accordance with our laws to award you this medal of valor for the rescue of your captain from an enemy combatant "

I slipped the medal attached to the ribbon around her neck. That was easy enough! I noticed that Clancy looked steamed and that Bill just looked sour because I got to pin the honoree.

Here's where things got sticky. My hot, delectable lover, and the object of countless male crew members' wet dreams, stood before me at attention wearing her regulation red mini dress and black dominatrix boots, with her eyes staring straight ahead. How well the divine Yeoman stood at attention! Her magnificent boobs strained against the fabric where I would need to pin her new badge of rank. My dick twitched like a neurotic in a frenzy as I thought of the last time she stood at attention for me. Little did I know that this would be The Day of Twitching Dicks for the entire male segment of the Cornucopia.

My fingers inadvertently brushed across her scrumptious titties transforming the twiggy twitch into seasoned hardwood. The Yeoman might as well have been a stature for all of the reaction she was showing, but I just bet if I could reach down between those amazing thighs… I yanked myself back into the decorum of the moment and decided to place the pin chastely a little higher than regulation required, for my sake, if not for hers!

"On behalf of the Federation and Starfleet, I award you this badge recognizing your new rank of Yeoman First Class!"

My hand fumbled and brushed against her boob, but I got the damn thing pinned.

"At Ease Yeoman!" Boy, did that order bring back fond memories!

"Assembly at ease!"

Before their applause had even died down, the sirens started and the nasal voice of Crystal Norris blared into our ears, ""Alert! Alert! All decks alert! Alert! Alert! Captain to the bridge, please!"

The crew scattered to their stations and I indicated that the Yeoman should accompany me to assist in witnessing and recording the event.

When we reached the bridge, Crystal Norris spun around while Bill Compton attempted to get a lock on the visual.

"Prepare to shield Mr. Chow. Ms. Norris…?"

"Captain, the Romulan vessel is transmitting a communication signal. They've finally responded to my repeated approaches!"

Bill fiddled some more at the controls and our first visual of the interior of a Romulan ship and its crew sprang onto the screen.

A dapper looking fellow with curly hair and a cunt-face beard peered at me, then ogled the Yeoman and popped a bit of fang. His grey uniform had immensely large, stuffed power shoulders and a red half cloak was thrown artfully over one shoulder.

His accent sounded strangely British over the translator, "Greetings Starfleet nemesis! I am Centurion Victorious Madnuttus, commanding officer of this Warbird in the absence of Imperator Flipapus Castratus! I demand his immediate release under the terms of the Neutral Zone Treaty of 3077.01!"

The bridge doors opened and a low, sultry voice purred, " The treaty would be considered void according to Federation Amendment 7 Section 6.1, which states that any hostile forays into Federation Space constitute a breach of the treaty. As for your Imperator, he terrorized my outpost and I, Kanutu Amelia of the Broad's Way, have the right to interrogate him! He dared to victimize my crew and he will explain his motives with excruciating accuracy!"

The speaker stepped forward and, I guarantee, all eyes belonging to male crew members on both ships were glued to the sex goddess who impatiently tapped her fingers against something that looked exactly like a riding crop. She wore a very shiny, very tight black shirt that read in several languages" I heart my Kitty!—with an extremely realistic depiction of a cat o nine tails arching across her large firm melons with the whip tails dangling tantalizingly over one pert and visible nipple. The wide red belt around her tiny waist led my eyes to the curves below and the curves above.

Thick, coal black hair tumbled down over creamy shoulders that begged to be licked. She was curvatilicious, dark and fiery, with smoldering amber eyes that glowed and pierced beneath sweeping lashes. She had an arresting face, with high, exotic cheekbones, and full red lips. Every inch of her screamed DANGER! TOUCH AT YOUR OWN RISK! I was willing to risk it, and from the look on the Romulan's face so was he. Bill kept staring at her out of the corner of his eye while pretending to fiddle with some program.

First I had to address the Romulan," Kanutu Amelia is correct Romulan. You Imperator invaded a Federation starship and will be held until I decide what to do with him. The Kanutu Woman does have a right to interrogate him in the presence of Federation witnesses. You entered Federation space as an aggressor and are currently disabled. You will stand by or risk destruction. Mr. Chow activate tractor beams! Northman out."

Madnuttus leered at Sookie, and leered extra hard at Kanutu Amelia who glared back at him venomously and hissed, "Bastard! You just wait and see!".

After a long time in deep space without any female crew members, he was probably ready to jump them through the viewscreen threat or no! "

I made a signal to Crystal Norris to deactivate the view screen. Of course, I'd have to make a decision about the Imperator. And Kanutu Amelia was determined to deal with him come hell or high water. Uh-Oh! I was suddenly aware that Sookie was drilling holes through me with her eyes. I turned toward my lover who looked like she wasn't sure who she wanted to kill first. I had to get both of these gals off of the bridge pronto. But I didn't think that the anger would last; I just had a feeling about these two!

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Sookie's POV

Well, shit! Just when things are looking great, in marches the competition. And what competition! Kanutu Amelia of the Broad's Way radiated SEX, and if her sister Kanutu Nona, was any indication, this gal could and would deliver. I really can't blame Eric for staring. Hell, I was staring. I knew instinctively that this lady meant business and that compared to her, my badass sexcapades were amateur. I was staring a hole through the back of Eric's head as he gave Kanutu Amelia a very thorough visual inspection. It didn't take a telepath to figure out what he was thinking about! Chow's tongue was practically hanging out, Bill was all shifty eyed and lusty, and the Romulan , who had popped a bit of fang for me, was in full battle display for la femme fatale. Either I have some psychic ability I don't know about, or Eric remembered that I was there and that I might be a wee tad put out.

After exchanging some pleasantries with Kanutu Amelia, Eric turned toward me with a twinkle in his eyes, " Yeoman, please show Kanutu Amelia and her crew their quarters and then, perhaps take them on a tour of the ship's facilities."

He turned to the living sex machine, his eyes still twinkling, "Kanutu Amelia, I hope that you and a guest of your choice will do me the honor of joining us at the Captain's table for supper tonight."

The flirt! Even if I wasn't a senior officer, I was his personal assistant and the hottie's guide not to mention the good times we shared in the sack, so that "us" better include me if he wanted Sookie Stackhouse's ass anytime in the near future!

Her full lips turned up in a radiant smile that displayed perfect, white teeth . She actually batted her eyelashes, and held out her hand, which Eric kissed (can't recall any Starfleet protocol for kissing a Kanutu Woman's hand!)

Her whisky voice was hypnotic. "Oh Captain, I would be delighted, as long as my guide is included as well ?"

Well, kudos to her!

"Of course !" Eric said smoothly. Oooh if I hadn't been part of the original invitation, was I going to find a ways to twist his balls!

Almost as soon as we left the bridge and the doors whooshed shut, Amelia turned toward me.

" Your man is very handsome, but I don't want him, my tastes run…otherwise." Her voice was low and intense.

"How, how, did you figure that out ?" I hissed back. If a total stranger could read me like that, I was in big, big trouble!

Amelia's laugh was low and husky, " I am in the business of pleasure! So, I notice little nuances others might not. You, perhaps know of my sister Kanutu Nona?"

My beet red blush said it all ! "Um, we don't need gimmicks, but I have to admit, your sister's device was…really exciting!"

She laughed again. Passing male crew members had forgotten all about me and had their eyes glued firmly on Amelia's swaying hips and tight , rounded ass.

"Variations are fun if you're getting bored, or just curious !"

Amelia was ignoring everyone until Pam passed by and flashed us a smile. She looked particularly pretty today with her long, blond hair loose upon her shoulders. She never needed anything but a little eye shadow and lip color. Her peaches and cream complexion was flawless, lucky girl!

Amelia stopped in her tracks and stared after her with a hot light in her eyes, " Who is she?" she whispered.

I called Pam back. " Pam this is Kanutu Amelia of the Broad's Way; Kanutu Amelia this is Pam Effington the Cornucopia's head nurse."

Amelia smoldered up to her , slid the palm of her had on top of Pam's, and stroked across it with her thumb. Her eyes bored into Pam's. Pam was coloring up quite a bit, but she didn't drop her hand.

We'd been carefully trained to accept alien formalities, but what was happening in the middle of Deck 16 looked anything but formal.

Amelia's voice turned the sultry up a notch. She stroked the inside of Pam's arm, then allowed a tendril of Pam's silky blond hair to slip through her fingers, "A nurse! How delightful! Nurses are so caring and knowledgeable about the workings of the body. As the Yeoman says , my name is Amelia and I'm going to make a suggestion that I hope won't offend you…"

So much for formality! She leaned forward and whispered something in Pam's ear. Pam blushed again furiously, but looked into Amelia's eyes and nodded without even a glance in my direction. Hmmm.

As we walked off toward the lounge where Amelia's "ladies" waited, she turned to me, "I'd like to throw a small party on the hollodeck tonight, after I have an opportunity to …question… the Imperator. You and your Captain and any other , worthy crew members, could join us after supper."

Well it was nice that she thought that I was "worthy", but a hollodeck is fantasyland. Based on what I'd seen and experienced a Kanutu woman's dream world would be anything but celestial.

" I appreciate the offer!" Time to be cheerful and professional, " I'll have to check my duty roster and I can't speak for the Captain…he's always on call. And we do have a crisis situation with the Romulans !"

"Oh," she said airily, " the crisis might not be as much of an issue after my interrogation…but we shall see! Your captain will most definitely …come…for you, my dear. He would be a fool not to!"

OK a little offhand and sleazy, but a compliment's a compliment. I was beginning to like this gal!

When we got to the lounge, Amelia's spectacular crew of hoochies was otherwise occupied. At least three males buzzed about each glorious flower looking for an opportunity to commence pollination. There were two blonds, one tall and one petite, two gorgeous blue Andorian twins with long white hair and precious blue antennas, an Amazonian redhead who was built like a brick house and looked like she could blow one down, and a luscious brunette with a pale, delicate oval face and a firm , pushed up rack that beat mine by at least two cup sizes.

I was beginning to understand the business that the Gamma outpost conducted on the side. Maybe the womanless Romulans had heard the news and were looking for something other than a blood snack!

Amelia clapped her hands like a sultan, and the girls immediately left their potential Johns, and gathered round. I glared at the crew members, none of whom were off duty. We were, after all, holding an enemy ship and its commander hostage.

"Crisis Alert Guys!" other than your groaning wood! " Remember?" They grumbled and made their way back to their posts.

The girls laughed and rolled their eyes behind their retreating backs.

One Andorian twin remarked " All men are still so sexist. They still think deep down that they are superior! But we are going to bless one Romulan sexist tonight with the knowledge that we are the stronger sex! He will learn respect for the ladies of the Broad's Way!"

My heart was all aflutter at that thought, because Amelia had requested that I as well as the Captain witness her interrogation of the Romulan commander! We got through the tour with an extra long stop at the two bars where our "refugees" received more than enough "sympathy," then I showed the girls their rooms. They each had about twenty offers to join in various "activities" about which they wished to remain discreet.

It was almost time for the Kanutu to interrogate Flipapus Castratus. Amelia emerged from the dressing area in her room and spun around like a school girl going to the prom.

"How do I look?"

I gulped. Now I knew that I was way out of my league! Compared to her haute bad girl couture, my peek a boo Dom garb looked like toddler's clothes!

She was dressed all in red from her head to her feet..But she was no Santa's helper!

"Red is the color of our blood! Romulan's love our blood ! Let's see if I can find out how the Romulan likes my love bites!" She purred as she twirled a real mini cat o nine tails with little red beads on the end.

She was wearing shiny, red, high heeled, face trampling boots. Her red leather corset with neck extension was tightly laced and covered everything from her neck to her navel, but left her huge boobs totally exposed (she'd painted her nipples red too!). She wore tight red pants that left nothing to the imagination and , again, with critical core areas cut out . To top it off, her bag of tricks made mine look like rattles. There was one fetish that looked like evil tweezers as well as a wicked looking leather glove with little pins protruding from is palm. I raised my eyebrows.

Amelia laughed , " Oh that's an oldie , but a goodie! Nona's Nipple Slayer! And that's a Vampire Glove; very appropriate don't you think?"

Starfleet can sure give a gal an education!

Amelia was still chuckling , "Don't look so shocked, darling! Nona and I are helping women to feminize sexist males and make them submissive ! Someone's got to do it!"

There was one toy I recognized, but Amelia informed me that Nona had enhanced this Love Enhancer with a few options. She demonstrated by barking " Rambo!" The device levitated and began to spin while little whips lashed out. Ouch !

" Sylvester Rambo is our god of love and vengeance! It is said that he himself invented the original! Your Cupid with his little arrows is such a pussy compared to our Rambo! "

"No argument there!" I gasped. " But Kanutu Amelia," How to say this politely, " we have to get you to the interview and uh…I'm afraid that your attire might create some lack of concentration for on duty crew members."

Amelia shrugged, "Oh no problem!"

She reached back into the dressing area and pulled out a crimson hooded robe which covered her totally and hid her face in shadow. Perhaps this is how the Grim Reaper appeared to scarlet women!

We bustled down the hall, changed decks several times, and got lots of stares, but at least Amelia was covered from head to toe!

When we got to the interview Room , the captain was waiting. Eric and I were supposed to observe from a screened area ; we could see and hear what went on and intervene if necessary, but the roomies couldn't see or hear us.

Felipe wasn't bound or encumbered in any way and was sucking down his bottle of blood brewski. When the The Grim Hoochie entered, Eric and I glanced at each other a bit startled, as Amelia immediately began to berate Castratus in Romulan like it was her native tongue. The translator wasn't the least bit faulty now!

She threw off the cape and glared at Castratus whose fangs whizzed out like pop gun flags. He immediately went down on his knees and buried his head…well you know where he buried his head. But that didn't last long. Kanutu Amelia of the Broad's Way was the REAL DEAL.

Amelia grabbed his hair by the roots and dragged him half way across the floor, walked on his chest with those wicked heels, then made him suck on said heels. She must have been light footed, but she still drew a little green blood. She pulled the whip out next, flipped him over, and began to lash his bottom, paying special attention to any equipment peeking out. He obviously could have gotten up if he'd wanted to. Eric was wincing…Maybe Starfleet was giving him a little more education too!

"You fucking prick!" The translator snapped in a bitchy Slavic sounding voice, " You've ruined my business! Now that the Federation knows about our little operation, I'll have to find a new location to open shop."

She raked crimson nails down his back.

"Ingrate! You are one of the many whose sexual hang-ups I've cured!"

"Mercy Mistress!" He gasped. I buried my head against Eric who simply couldn't peel his eyes away from this well orchestrated train wreck of an interview.

"Not to worry lover," he said calmly, " consenting adults here…OK… ah…don't look up!"

So, of course , I did!

Kanutu Amelia of the Broad's Way was straddling Flipapus's back with her knees on either side and her substantial crimson nippled melons pressed against him "No mercy you bastard! I have six girls to take care of! What's a mother to do?"

She bit the base of his neck between his shoulders and he groaned with pleasure. When she lifted herself to grab his hair, there was a perfect imprint of her pearly whites!

She shook his head and hissed!

"Don't fuck with me Flippy! We've taken care of you and your boys under the table for a long time. Then you had to go noshing on other outposts ! Asshole! Rambo!"

And to tell you the truth, when I saw what that thing was doing, I wasn't sure whether the first word was an insult or an order!

" I am a three times married Kanutu and my husbands have all died mysteriously ! One was projectiled into space through a faulty hatch. The next died an agonizing death when his bed caught fire. The third fell off of a cliff while we were admiring the view—clumsy! You chased away all of my paying customers and accidents happen!"

She began to nip his back, from his neck to his ass vigorously, while Eric (who was getting a bit excited) explained that , despite the pain, there are certain erogenous zones on the back that ,when chewed properly, send an electric vibration straight to your core.

I turned my back to the unique interrogation while Eric gave me a play by play like a sports announcer.

"She flipped him over…Uh Oh…Ouch… nipple clamps!( that as Felipe howled , then begged for more) Gotta feel that!"

"I promise Mistress!" Felipe gasped between Amelia's ministrations, " I will leave the Federation's Blood Bags alone! I will find you the finest rooms on the best Romulan planet. You and your crew can become Praetorian Housemates upon the Warbird! Just chew me and spank me some more!"

Eric took a deep breath, " Well, Vampire Gloves!…Damn!…that's just…and I've seen a lot…but…wow !"

I stepped in from of him without looking and turned him around, " Enough of this interview Captain ! I'm sure Kanutu Amelia will have reached an accord with the Imperator by its conclusion. "

I stood on tiptoes and brushed my eager lips against his mouth, " We have our own briefing to attend to!"

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LOL BRIEF ME!! Please Review ; D

Next Chappy: Will Pam forsake Bill for Amelia? Will Bill forsake his ego for Amelia? Have Captain Northman and Yeoman Stackhouse been over educated?

Please give me your suggestions for a Theme for Kanutu Amelia's Hollodeck Party and any "party games" you think they might enjoy ; )