I do not own ASOUE (Unfortunately :P)
Chapter Seven
"Hello," a hoarse voice answered the large black telephone that Ariadne was holding with two hands. She was in the location centre, in the telephone section sitting on the counter with her commonplace book in her lap and pen behind her ear. "Mulctuary Money Management. Vice President of Orphans Affairs, Mr. Poe speaking."
"Hello there. I am a close friend of the Baudelaire family, and I was going to inquire about the Baudelaire children. Their whereabouts and wellbeing, of course." Ariadne spoke in the most mature voice she could muster. Her face had a resolute expression, her eyebrows furrowed and her jade eyes sharp.
"I see. Well, I am very sorry for the loss and the children seem to be going through some," Mr. Poe paused to cough quite violently before continuing."Unfortunate events at the moment."
"I received a telegram notifying me that the children had been sent to live with Count Olaf." Ariadne persisted, scribbling notes into her red notebook.
"Yes, well, that did not last very long. Count Olaf is a vile, sinister man. When the children were first sent to live with him, he forced them to cook for him and his accomplices, clean his grimy house and," Mr. Poe paused to cough once again. "Attempted to secretly marry Violet in order to inherit their fortune. Although his heinous crime was foiled, Count Olaf escaped."
"Where did the orphans go next?" Ariadne asked, scrawling words into her commonplace book.
"To live with their distant cousin, herpetologist Montgomery Montgomery." When Mr. Poe paused to cough again, Ariadne realised that Monty Montgomery was a member of V.F.D., her side this time. "They did have a nice time with 'Uncle Monty' as they called him; however it wasn't long until that despicable Count Olaf showed up. He disguised himself as Stephano, Monty's new assistant. He had us all fooled, apart from Violet, Klaus and Sunny. Monty was unfortunately murdered with venom from a snake by Count Olaf and he attempted to run away with the orphans to Peru. He was stopped, of course, but he escaped again." Mr. Poe concluded before a long, rasping cough. Ariadne sighed and realised she might be too late to save the Baudelaires.
"What happened to the poor children?" Ariadne asked, propping the telephone on her shoulder.
"They were then handed over to another distant cousin, Josephine Anwhistle who lived near Lake Lachrymose. I believe they had a pleasant time whilst in her company, yet Count Olaf quickly made the scene." Mr. Poe's coughs began to become tedious, but allowed Ariadne to copy down more information. "He was disguised this time as Captain Sham, a sailboat salesman who manipulated Josephine into leaving the children to him once she's faked her own death. Shocking, but once his real identity was uncovered, he escaped with an accomplice that looked neither man nor woman."
"I see. Do you know the whereabouts of the children now, Mr. Poe?" Ariadne inquired, her hand resting on her paper. Suddenly, Quigley slowly sneaked through the green wood door and when Ariadne noticed him she put her finger to her lips, indicating for him to be quiet.
"They are at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill, in Paltryville past Finite Forest. The three are under the care of Mr. Duy…Mr. Que… Mr. Chi…I'm afraid I cannot pronounce his name but he is the co-owner of the Lumbermill. Count Olaf seems to be staying away this time. However, due to a few accidents that Klaus Baudelaire caused, Sir, the owner's nickname, has considered handing the children over to a kind optometrist receptionist named Shirley."
Ariadne thought this 'kind receptionist' sounded suspicious, and, as she would find out, she was right. "Thank you very much, Mr. Poe. You have been a massive help to me. Have a nice day." Ariadne said before Mr. Poe said goodbye and she placed the large black telephone on its stand and turned to Quigley. She smiled timidly, recalling their last meeting.
"Who did you call?" Quigley asked his voice shy and squeaky. He peered at Ariadne's notebook.
"It was Mr. Poe, from Mulctuary Money Management. He is in charge of the Baudelaire estate until Violet comes of age. I asked him where the Baudelaire's have been sent, and it seems Count Olaf had followed them where ever they happened to be." Ariadne admitted, pushing her glasses closer to her eyes.
"They were sent to Count Olaf, where they not?" Quigley assumed, taking out his purple notebook and a pencil from behind his ear.
"At first they were, yes." Ariadne notified him, going on to explain what Mr. Poe had just told her.
"So they are in Paltryville, at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill." Quigley repeated, scribbling notes into his commonplace book. "Shirley sounds a little 'Count Olaf disguise' to me. Why else would a receptionist want 3 orphans so desperately? Do you see what I mean?"
Ariadne nodded. "Yes, I was thinking the same thing." Ariadne began packing away her commonplace book and pencil, before jumping from the square counter where the telephone stood. "I did a little eavesdropping," She began, leaning closer to Quigley in a secretive manner, "and Sebastian and Gloria are leaving for the city tonight at 9pm sharp. If we hurry up after dinner, we'll be able to sneak into the trunk before they arrive. Katherine will never notice because she reads The Daily Punctilio after dinner." Ariadne had a serious, yet excited look as she headed for the door.
"B-but Ariadne," Quigley stuttered, taking her wrist to slow her down. "It's…dangerous out there. And what if Count Olaf finds us?"
Ariadne looked at Quigley's scared face, the twinkle in his cacao brown eyes replaced with a frightened shimmer. She realized what she was about to do could put her life at risk-and her best friend's. "Quigley, I…I have to do this. I can't let the Baudelaires lives be ruined, I've already said this. If you don't want to come then I won't force you." Ariadne swiftly darted from the room and back to her room, hurt by the harsh words she had let loose.
It was roasted beef for dinner, splendidly prepared by Kit Snicket. All the members sat at the two long rectangular tables with benches at each side. There were many members, but only few, the few who were accused criminals and wanted fugitives, stayed at the one safe place for V.F.D. members. That meant the benches were empty, only a couple of people peppered in little groups. Lemony, Kit, Sebastian and some others who Ariadne could not recall the names of, sat in a group at one end of the first table, with Quigley and Ariadne sat at the opposite end of the second. Dinner was awkward that night, as the lavender scented candles were lit at various points in the headquarters and the lamps were switched on. Not because the food was unpleasant, but because Quigley and Ariadne felt anxious, about the deceptive, a word which here means 'sneaky and untrustworthy', act that would take place after their meals.
Once their plates and silverware were placed by the sink, the two accomplices grabbed their backpacks from their room and snuck past Katherine, who was beguiled by The Daily Punctilio strangely, and out into the bleak night. Encompassed by darkness that surrounded them like a coffin, the two orphans felt around until they discovered the smooth bonnet of Gloria's shiny navy automobile. Foolishly, Gloria had left it unlocked, which meant Ariadne and Quigley could climb into the trunk unnoticed. It was cramped and claustrophobic, but the two managed to squirm their way into each corner. The slam of the clear glass doors of the fake reception made Ariadne jump. Gloria's loud laughter echoed through the cold night air and Sebastian's low chuckles accompanied it. The automobile rocked as the two oblivious adults stepped in. With a thump Gloria's bag was thrown into the trunk, landing close to Ariadne, startling her. For the entire journey, before the orphans fell asleep, Gloria's loud voice rang in their ears and
Sebastian's sinister low voice sent shivers up their spines. Ariadne wondered how Gloria could work in a library for so long with such a booming voice.
Ariadne and Quigley awoke when a noisy truck rumbled down the road where the automobile was parked. Ariadne slowly opened the trunk and looked at her watch.
"It's 10:30am, Quigley. We have a half hour to get to the station." Ariadne said, climbing out of the car and stretching. They were parked in front of a fancy-looking French restaurant on 141 Dark Avenue, cars were driving past and people were walking down the street, most of them wearing pinstripe suits. The large sign above the door into the restaurant stated Veritable French Diner:"Le Monde Ici, C'est Calme". Ariadne did not understand French; however she did understand the art of secrecy. Veritable French Diner-they really should try harder to hide their secret meeting places. Ariadne shook her head and turned to Quigley who was still stretching. She smiled at him, feeling the urge to embrace him.
"Remind me to never allow you to talk me into anything ever again, Miss Citrusseed!" Quigley laughed as he quietly closed the cover of the trunk and walked over to the sidewalk, where he and Ariadne began to walk.
"I'm sorry. Maybe, after we make sure the Baudelaires are okay, we can look for your siblings, huh?" Ariadne said, smiling hopefully. They turned a corner and were immersed in morning sunlight.
"Yes," Quigley replied, holding his hand over his eyes to block the sunlight. "I would really love that. But let's focus on the Baudelaires right now." And, with those words, the two friends walked to the train station with moments to spare. Ariadne bravely bought two one-way tickets to Paltryville and leaped on the train before anyone could take note of her appearance.
Train journeys, as I'm sure you will know, are usually a pleasant experience. You can take time to, perhaps, read a book or unreliable newspaper, and admire the scenery as you race past or maybe chat with an accomplice. However, I am sorry to inform you, Quigley and Ariadne's journey to Paltryville wasn't as pleasurable as I'd like to believe. The two children sat opposite each other next to a grimy window surrounded by grave, a word which here means 'serious and severe', looking people wearing pinstripe suits. Some were sitting down on the torn grubby seats reading The Daily Punctilio, their mean faces occasionally glancing at the youngsters with sour looks. Others stood up, boasting with their friends about such childish subjects as "I'm the 5th innest person in the city this week, Gertrude," or "Did you hear, Michael? Pink florescent false nails are in!" Each time the train screeched to a stop, more and more austere people stepped on to the train. By the time the thick straight trees of Finite Forest ended and Paltryville came into view, the train was packed with strange and miserable looking people. Ariadne and Quigley had to squeeze their way out of the train car and onto the deserted streets of Paltryville. Although they were free of the crowded train carriage, they weren't free of their unlucky fate.
The first major disappointment of the orphans' journey would begin when they stood in front of the oddly familiar eye-shaped building, staring at the front page of The Daily Punctilio which was sat on the welcome mat.
MURDER AT LUCKY SMELLS LUMBERMILL!
When the friends ventured inside the building, it was deserted; the only thing left was the furniture, a receptionist named Shirley's nameplate and some notes. Whilst Ariadne explored the reception, Quigley skimmed the article to discover that the Baudelaire orphans had been involved in the murder of Dr. Georgina Orwell and the discovery of a disguised Count Olaf. From the note left on the Shirley's desk, she found that the Baudelaires had been sent to Prufrock Preparatory School. From then on, Ariadne kept a small journal in her commonplace book, chronicling their unfortunate journey.
We are in Paltryville, in Dr. Georgina Orwell's optometrists. Dr. Orwell was killed in an accident The Daily Punctilio mistook as a murder. We are too late. From some notes in Jacques Snicket's handwriting left in this peculiar eye-shaped building, I have learned that the Baudelaires are at Prufrock Prep, where I hope the Quagmire orphans will still be.
"We are too late." Quigley finally admitted, following Ariadne out of the building and onto the streets which were lined with piles of old newspapers.
"Quigley, the Baudelaires are at Prufrock Prep, all the way back in the city. I think I have enough money to buy us two tickets back to the City, but we'd be on our own from there." Ariadne said, with a sincere look at Quigley. "But, don't you remember? Isadora and Duncan might be at Prufrock."
Quigley felt that little bit more encouraged by the feeling he might see his siblings again, so that night the two huddled together under the station shelter with one of Ariadne's blankets over them. The next day they leaped onto the disgusting train which was still packed with ugly, austere individuals bragging about their 'in' style and endured the horrid journey. The city was cloudy and dull the morning Ariadne and Quigley started their gruelling, a word which here means 'tiring and nasty", trudge through the Schooling District of the odd city they had grown to know.
It is 12pm and Quigley and I are walking through the Schooling District. Children were running about here and there, some happily playing with skipping ropes, others reading books. Prufrock Preparatory School was the largest in the district, right at the end of the long road which, like the trunk of a tree, spanned out into many different lanes. I earnestly hope we have found the Baudelaires, and Count Olaf hasn't got at them yet.
I regret to have to tell you that Ariadne's hopes were cruelly crushed by the fist of misfortune. I say this because, as the poor orphan would discover, the Orphan's Shack was empty. Ariadne searched and searched, but the only evidence she could find were some hand-made staples, some empty salt shakers, a pair of shoes with pieces of metal glued to the bottom and, yet again, notes. No sign of the Baudelaire siblings. No sign of the Quagmire orphans. No sign of hope shown across the two intrepid, a word which here means 'brave but unlucky', children. They were too late, again.
"They're not here, Ariadne." Quigley cried quietly, clutching his commonplace book. "We missed them, but this time we missed my siblings too."
Ariadne hopped her way to the bales of hay which served as beds, stepping out of the way of the snapping crabs that made tedious clicking noises. "The notes states that Count Olaf disguised as Coach Genghis and made the Baudelaires partake in S.O.R.E., which stands for 'Special Orphan Running Exercises'." She ducked out of the way of a drop of fungus juice before continuing. "The Quagmire triplets tried to help the Baudelaires with their situation, but were kidnapped by Olaf and his partners. The Baudelaires have been placed under the care of the City's sixth most important financial adviser, Esmé Squalor. The Quagmires whereabouts are unknown."
A gloomy look riveted over Quigley's face as he joined Ariadne on the uncomfortable bales of hay. He opened his commonplace book to where the photograph of his siblings was. Their faces, so similar to his, were happy next to their parents, whose faces beamed with sheer glee. That day felt like a distant memory to Quigley, back when their parents were alive, when their siblings weren't being held hostage by a revolting criminal, back when his life wasn't a black hole of misery which he was falling through. Ariadne pulled out her pen and began to write.
The Baudelaires are gone. The Quagmire triplets are kidnapped. Quigley and I feel like a cloud of unluckiness is forever darkening our lives. We have to travel to 667 Dark Avenue in the City quickly if we want to stand a chance of reaching our goal. Quigley looks sadder than I've even seen him before. I don't know what I should do to comfort him.
Wherever these brave and unfortunate orphans travelled, their misery always followed. Whether it was standing before of an abandoned Veblen Hall, with doilies blowing in the wind and ripped flyers for the 'In Auction' pinned on the door, or in front the Fowl Fountain in Village of Fowl Devotees, the beak open to reveal a secret chamber inside, or the charred remains of Heimlich Hospital, the two were always too late to catch the Baudelaire orphans.
"Why?" Quigley cried, waving his arms in the air. He and Ariadne were stood in Madame Lulu's tent at a desolate Caligari Carnival, her smashed fortune-telling ball still sat on the table that hid her archival library underneath. "Why are we so unlucky? Why do we always miss them? This is fifth time we've trekked to the location described in Jacques's notes, then in some other V.F.D. member after he died, and this is the fifth time we've been too late!"
"Calm down, Quigley." Ariadne comforted, whilst examining Madame Lulu's library. Quigley growled lividly and smashed his fist down on the table, startling Ariadne. She stood up and took both Quigley's hands, noticing they were trembling. She smiled forlornly and his eyes softened from the sharp, intense brown to the romantic, sparkling cacao. "Don't get so angry about things." Ariadne spoke quietly as she patted Quigley's hand. "We will find them, I promise. We are going to head back to the Mortmain Mountains, which, thankfully, are quite near. Come on, Quagmire. This last time, please trust me."
Quigley smiled tenderly and stuffed some supplies into his backpack before joining Ariadne on their last hike up the slippery slope towards the Mortmain Mountains. Towards Ariadne's home, the V.F.D. headquarters, towards her friends who were probably worried about her and Quigley-towards the Baudelaires, the 3 orphans that began their fruitless journey.
Next chapter will be the climax or whatever you call it! ^-^ Please Reveiw! xD
