A/N: Hey people. Sorry this one's a bit late. I was busy last night. Winner of last week's Question of the Week is Molly. Congrats! New one this week, bottom of the episode. So...I know, these might seem a bit boring to you guys, (and if they're not, then great =) but trust me, it gets waaaaay more interesting. I have 25 whole seasons planned, and since I'm a kid who has no life, I'll probably be able to do them all. =P Anyway, the later seasons are much more action-packed, so stay tuned!
Also, did anyone notice how all three Tanner Girls got 'married' before they were even 14? What's up with that? Steve and Harry both ditched their 'wives' because they're moms were making meatloaf. ? (Like, wut?)
P.S (I don't own nothing)
Season Nine, Episode Seven
High Hopes
AT THE RIDING RING
Danny is watching Michelle ride around on Peppermill.
Michelle stops in front of Danny.
DANNY
Wow, Michelle. You've been riding pretty
hard these days. Do you have a competition coming up?
MICHELLE
Uh...no...I just like riding.
DANNY
Oh. Well, keep up the good work.
Michelle rides off.
Camera cuts over to Jesse, Becky, Nicky, and Alex playing in the dirt next to the riding ring.
JESSE
Hey, Nicky. Come see this.
Nicky comes over to his dad.
JESSE
Do you know what this is?
NICKY
(scared) It's a bug!
JESSE
Yeah. It's a caterpillar. Say hi.
NICKY
Make it go away.
JESSE
Why? Don't you like him?
Nicky shakes his head.
Jesse puts down the caterpillar and picks up a snail.
JESSE
Ooh, look at this.
NICKY
Aahhh!
Nicky gets up and runs off.
JESSE
Uh, wait! Nicky!
Nicky runs over to Alex.
NICKY
Run! Daddy has a bug!
They yell and run away.
Becky comes over to Jesse.
BECKY
What's up with them?
JESSE
Oh, they're just afraid of bugs.
BECKY
Oh, that's silly. Bugs are harmless little-
Jesse hold up a snail.
BECKY
Aah! Get that thing away from me!
Jesse chuckles and shakes his head.
THE NEXT DAY- IN THE KITCHEN
Everyone is eating breakfast, when Michelle comes down the stairs.
JOEY
Hey, Michelle.
Michelle looks around.
MICHELLE
Hey, uh, is dad here?
JESSE
Nope, he's still upstairs getting
ready for work. Why?
MICHELLE
Okay. Here's the thing. I have this riding
competition on Wednesday...
JESSE
Oh, that's great, Michelle.
STEPH
But I thought you told dad you didn't
have any competitions coming up.
MICHELLE
Yeah, well- hey, how did you hear that?
STEPH
I'm a master in the art of eavesdropping.
MICHELLE
Yeah, well, anyway...I don't really want dad to come.
BECKY
What? Why not?
MICHELLE
Well, you know how dad is...he'll bring a video camera,
and you know, embarrass me. This is a really hard
competition. I can't be distracted.
JESSE
Oh Michelle. He's gonna be crushed.
He loves this kind of stuff.
MICHELLE
I know. That's why you can't tell him about it.
And you guys have to promise not to either.
Everyone is silent.
MICHELLE
Please?
JESSE
Alright, Michelle. I won't tell him. But
if he asks, it's my official duty as an uncle
to fill him in, okay?
Everyone else nods.
MICHELLE
Thanks, guys.
Danny comes downstairs.
Everyone is quiet.
DANNY
Hey everyone.
Everyone mumbles hello.
Danny sits down.
DANNY
So...how is everyone?
STEPH
Fine.
JOEY
Hm.
DANNY
So...uh...
Joey whistles.
DANNY
Is something going on that I'm not aware of?
JESSE
No, no-
BECKY
Nothing.
STEPH
Everything's normal.
Danny looks confused.
DANNY
Oh, I forgot to tell you, someone else is going
to take Michelle to riding practice on Wednesday.
I have to work late.
MICHELLE
Yes!
DANNY
What's that?
MICHELLE
Oh, uh...nothing. Never mind. So, uh,
you're working all day on Wednesday?
DANNY
Yeah. Why? Is something happening on Wednesday?
MICHELLE
No-
JESSE
Nope. Nothing.
BECKY
Not a thing.
STEPH
Yeah.
DANNY
Okay...
Michelle grins.
THAT AFTERNOON- IN THE AFTERNOON
Nicky and Alex run into the living room, yelling.
ALEX
Stephie! Stephie! Save us!
STEPH
What's wrong?
NICKY
Joey has a bug!
STEPH
So?
Joey comes in with a worm on his hand.
Nicky and Alex scream.
JOEY
Oh come on, guys. It's only an worm. See?
Joey holds up the worm, which makes Nicky and Alex scream.
NICKY
Get rid of it!
STEPH
Why are you so scared of a worm?
ALEX
It's a bug!
STEPH
So?
ALEX
Bugs are scary.
STEPH
No they're not. Look how cure he is.
Stephanie take the bug from Joey, and Nicky and Alex run off screaming.
Stephanie looks at the worm.
JOEY
I wonder what they're so scared of?
STEPH
(sarcastic) Ya think it might be the worm?
Joey nods solemnly.
AT THE RIDING RING
Michelle is brushing her horse, when this girl comes up to her.
MEGAN
(rudely) Oh, hello, Michelle.
What are you doing here?
MICHELLE
I'm practicing for the competition, Megan.
MEGAN
But the competition is for good riders.
Not people like you.
MICHELLE
I'm just as good as you.
MEGAN
Oh, sure you are. We'll just see who's better
at the competition on Wednesday. Whoever loses has to
do the others stable work for a month.
MICHELLE
Fine.
They shake.
Megan twists Michelle's hand.
MICHELLE
Ow!
Megan grins and walks away.
Michelle glares after her.
IN THE LIVING ROOM
Stephanie and Joey come into the living room.
STEPH
I think I have a way of getting Nicky
and Alex not be scared of bugs.
JOEY
How?
STEPH
Watch. Nicky! Alex! Get over here!
The boys don't come.
JOEY
Oh, I'll get them.
Joey leaves to get the boys.
Michelle comes home from riding practice.
STEPH
Hey, Michelle.
MICHELLE
Ow. Hi.
STEPH
What happened to your hand?
MICHELLE
Don't ask.
Joey comes back into the living room, dragging Nicky and Alex behind him.
JOEY
Got them.
STEPH
Oh good. Alright, buys. See this?
Stephanie holds up a jar with a grasshopper inside.
Nicky and Alex try to twist out of Joey's grasp.
JOEY
Not so fast, kiddies.
STEPH
Okay, you see the bug?
He's in a jar. He can't get out.
NICKY
Really?
MICHELLE
Well, unless he turns into a giant mutant grasshopper
covered in green slime. Then he can crush the jar with his
huge claws and come after you.
Nicky and Alex scream and run away.
Stephanie gives Michelle a look.
MICHELLE
What?
Stephanie sighs. Little sisters, right?
WEDNESDAY MORNING- IN THE KITCHEN
The phone rings and Danny runs to answer it.
DANNY
Hello? Yes, Mr. Strowbridge. Really? Oh, yes.
What? That's great! Okay. Alright. Thank you.
Danny hangs up.
DANNY
Good news. I don't have to work late today.
Why don't we all go out to dinner?
Everyone else glances at each other.
JESSE
Uh, no, no-
BECKY
We can't do that-
STEPH
We got stuff-
BECKY
To do. Yeah.
STEPH
Stuff.
Danny stares at them, confused.
DANNY
What stuff?
STEPH
Uh...
BECKY
You know, just stuff-
JOEY
Yeah. Boring errands.
JESSE
Nothing important.
DANNY
Oh. Okay. I guess I'll just make something for dinner-
Jesse jumps up and pulls Danny aside.
JESSE
Uh, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel...Uh, no, you don't have to
make anything...Say. What is something that you've wanted to do for a
long time but couldn't because your annoying family was
always around bugging you?
DANNY
Oh, you guys don't bug me...
JESSE
Don't sweet-talk right now, just answer the question.
DANNY
Uh...well, I've been meaning to clean out
the pantry for a while...
BECKY
Right, right-
STEPH
The pantry.
JOEY
You do that.
JESSE
Uh, no. Don't do that. Something
outside. Out of the house.
BECKY
Oh, right-
JOEY
Of course.
STEPH
Out of the house.
DANNY
(confused) Well...I could sweep the sidewalk...
STEPH
Oh, sure-
BECKY
The sidewalk-
JOEY
Sweep the sidewalk.
JESSE
Uh...preferably something that wouldn't make you
look like a neurotic nutcase to our neighbors.
BECKY
Oh. Of course.
JOEY
Neurotic nutcase...
STEPH
Wouldn't want to do that...
DANNY
Well, uh...I was looking through the paper
this morning, and there's this really good movie...
JESSE
Great! Okay, then. Well, you go see your movie...
maybe two...three, who knows. Stay out as long as you want.
Have some popcorn...a nice big drink...some ice cream maybe...
Have fun. And don't you dare come home early.
BECKY
Yeah. Yeah.
JOEY
See a few flicks...
STEPH
Have some food...
BECKY
And don't come back early.
STEPH
Right.
Danny stares at them.
DANNY
Are you trying to get rid of me?
JESSE
No, no! Of course not!
STEPH
Why would we want to...
JOEY
Why would we do that?
BECKY
Right.
DANNY
Well, I'd much rather spend time with you...
JESSE
Oh, Dan, you already spend far too much
time with us. Have some alone time.
DANNY
Okay. Thanks.
Danny sits down.
Jesse and Michelle share a thumbs-up.
AT THE RIDING RING
Michelle is getting ready for her competition.
Jesse comes up to her.
JESSE
Hey, Michelle. Are you ready?
MICHELLE
I guess so. I practiced all week.
Any sign of dad?
JESSE
Nope.
MICHELLE
I feel so bad for not inviting him.
JESSE
Well why didn't you?
MICHELLE
I told you. I didn't want him to embarrass me-
JESSE
Michelle. I've been living with you almost your
whole life. I practically taught you how to lie. And I have
a feeling that's not the real reason you didn't invite him.
Michelle starts to speak but then-
ANNOUNCER DUDE
All competitors for the junior horseback races please
report to the arena. We will be starting shortly.
MICHELLE
I gotta go.
JESSE
Good luck. Oh, and Michelle?
MICHELLE
Yeah?
JESSE
This time, please don't ride off and get amnesia.
Michelle smiles.
MICHELLE
You got it, dude.
Michelle goes out to the arena, and gets in line with the other riders.
MEGAN
So you decided to compete after all?
MICHELLE
I was always going to.
MEGAN
Well there's no point. I'm going to win.
Michelle shrugs.
Megan scowls and elbows her, which causes half the line of kids to get knocked over.
The instructor comes and the kids straighten up.
INSTRUCTOR
Okay, kids. First is a 200-meter gallop.
Everyone just do your best, okay? And have fun.
The kids go out onto their horses.
Michelle sees her family and waves to them.
Michelle looks around.
MICHELLE
Good. No dad.
ANNOUNCER DUDE
On your marks...Get set...Go!
They gallop.
Everything's going fine until Megan's horse kicks Michelle off her horse.
Michelle falls off and tumbles to the ground.
JESSE
Michelle!
Jesse, Joey, Stephanie, Becky, Nicky, and Alex run into the ring and kneel next to Michelle.
Michelle gets up.
JOEY
Michelle, are you okay?
MICHELLE
Um, yeah. I think I'm fine.
BECKY
Are you sure?
MICHELLE
Yeah...
JESSE
What happened?
MICHELLE
Megan knocked me down on purpose.
JESSE
Which one's Megan?
Michelle looks over her shoulder.
Megan crosses the finish line.
The announcer hands her a trophy and everyone cheers.
Megan gives Michelle a smug smile.
Michelle looks back at Jesse.
JESSE
Oh.
A WHILE LATER- IN THE INSTRUCTOR'S OFFICE
Jesse is pacing around the room while everyone is sitting in chairs.
JESSE
Alright. Let's analyze this situation very carefully.
You knew you had a competition coming up, you didn't
invite your dad, you made us all lie to him, he's probably out right now
in the middle of a well-deserved R-rated movie; he's gonna get a
phone call informing him that his youngest daughter fell off her
horse during a competition, which, by the way, he had no
knowledge of whatsoever; he's gonna rush down here, blow his top,
and then give us all a lecture on responsibility and always
telling the truth. And worst of all, I missed Oprah!
He collapses in a chair.
MICHELLE
Well, I'm sorry, Uncle Jesse- except for the missing
Oprah part, that's not my fault- but maybe he'll be cool about it.
JOEY
Michelle, this is your father we're talking about.
Daniel Earnest Tanner. He is incapable of being cool
about an ant on the kitchen floor, there is no way
he'll be cool about this.
ALEX
(scared) An ant?
JOEY
Yeah, an ant.
ALEX
Ants are scary!
JESSE
Alright, guys. We are going to put an end to this
bug-phobia of yours, if it's the last thing I do. And it
probably will be, if Danny gets here soon. Okay, what is it about
bugs that scare you?
NICKY
They can turn into giant mutant monsters covered
in slime, that will crush us with their giant claws.
Jesse gives them a questioning look, then looks at Michelle.
MICHELLE
Heh heh. Little kids. Where do they get this stuff?
Jesse rolls his eyes.
JESSE
Well, that's not true. Bugs are just little creatures,
like people. They're more scared of use than we are of them.
They're so much tinier than us. And they can be pretty
cool. Let me show you.
Jesse picks up a potato bug. (funny how there's always a bug lying around when they need one, eh?)
NICKY
Aah!
The bug curls up into a ball.
Nicky and Alex look fascinated.
JESSE
See? Isn't he cool? He can turn into a ball.
NICKY
What's his name?
JESSE
Well, he's a potato bug, so let's call him...French Fry.
NICKY
Cool! Can we keep French Fry, daddy?
JESSE
I guess so.
Nicky and Alex take French Fry to Becky.
NICKY
Look mommy. We got a pet.
Becky screams.
BECKY
What is that?!
ALEX
A potato bug. His name's French Fry.
BECKY
Well, can you please get 'French Fry' away from me?
ALEX
But bugs are cool. He can turn into a ball.
Nicky touches French Fry and he turns into a ball.
NICKY
See? Isn't he cute, mommy?
BECKY
(disgusted) Oh, yeah, he's...adorable.
The riding instructor comes out of her office.
INSTRUCTOR
I've called Michelle's father. He said he'll come as
soon as possible. And, just so you know, Megan has been
disqualified from the rest of the competition. Hurting
another rider on purpose is not allowed.
MICHELLE
Yes!
JOEY
Oh, thank you. And, uh...just out of curiosity
...did Mr. Tanner say where he was?
INSTRUCTOR
Well, it was pretty noisy in the background...sounded
like he was watching something. It sounded very interesting.
JESSE
Oh...I hope he gets stuck in traffic.
Suddenly, the door bursts open and an enraged Danny rushes in.
JESSE
Have mercy.
AT HOME IN THE LIVING ROOM- A WHILE LATER
DANNY
I cannot believe you guys! My own
family! My own flesh and blood!
JESSE
Um, well, technically, Danny...I'm
not your flesh and blood...
DANNY
Let me lecture. How could you do this to me? You lied!
You purposely made me leave the house so that you could
sneak out to Michelle's race, which for some reason I was
not invited to, even though I am her father and I should
know about everything that goes on in my daughters'
lives. And then I get a call that Michelle had gotten hurt,
yet again, riding a horse, and that I am required to come
to the ring, right in the middle of the most suspenseful part
of 'Jade', to pick her up. What do you have to say for yourselves?
Danny glares at them, and they are silent.
JESSE
You were watching 'Jade'?
DANNY
Let me try that again. What do
you have to say for yourselves?
MICHELLE
Dad, it's my fault. I'm the one who didn't want
to invite you. I asked everyone to keep it a secret.
Danny turns to Michelle.
DANNY
Michelle, why would you do that?
STEPH
Because you always embarrass her at this kind of stuff.
Danny sighs.
DANNY
Michelle, go to your room.
Michelle leaves.
Danny turns back to everyone else.
DANNY
I am very disappointed in all of you.
The others look at each other.
ALEX
What did I do?
Danny turns to leave.
JESSE
Uh...so, how was the movie?
Danny shoots Jesse a look and goes upstairs.
Michelle is sitting on her bed.
Danny goes into her room.
DANNY
Michelle, listen. I'm sorry if I
embarrass you sometimes, but-
MICHELLE
It's not that.
DANNY
Huh?
MICHELLE
You don't embarrass me. That's not
why I didn't invite you.
DANNY
Then why-
MICHELLE
I wanted you to come...but I'm not as good
as the others. I didn't want you to see me lose.
DANNY
Honey, I don't care about that...
MICHELLE
Yes you do. You always bring a video camera
and cheer and stuff... if I lose you'll have
nothing to cheer for.
Danny sighs.
DANNY
Michelle...I don't cheer you on just so you win.
I just want to encourage you. I honestly don't
care if you win or lose.
MICHELLE
You're just saying that. Who wants their kid to lose?
DANNY
I don't want you to lose...but losing is a part of life.
There's always going to be someone who's better
than you at something.
MICHELLE
So you really don't mind?
DANNY
I really don't.
MICHELLE
Okay. I guess next time I'll invite you.
DANNY
Good. And remember, if you keep trying,
eventually you're gonna catch up to the others.
They hug (obviously =).
Becky runs down the hall, screaming.
Nicky runs after her with French Fry.
BECKY
Get that thing away from me!
Michelle and Danny start snickering.
-END TUNE-
Question of the Week: At what exact time was D.J. born?
(No searchies =)
