My god, you guys have no idea how hard it's been without my laptop. :'( So sad that I haven't gotten it back yet. And I feel so terribly sorry about my whore-like lateness with updating my poor but never forgotten IA:SI story. So, because all of you have been so brilliantly loyal with not many complaints about how late I am with this, here it is!

I don't know if you can tell that I had to write this chapter quick, but nevertheless, it is a CHAPTER!

I have so many ideas too, for new stories. They will SO be going up when I get my fucking computer back from those knob-gobblers. Seriously man! Someone said I hadn't updated this story in around two months!

It's been horrorfyingly long and so, so cruel to my readers.

Lethar, if you're out there, baby--THANKYOU for you kind words, lol.

Sending me a message of encouragment and such. I think people will be, like, uber shocked to see an update of this in their inbox. Hmm. So tell me, when you get this, if you screamed? REVIEW!

LOVE

-birobird

xo


BPOV

I feel...like a ghost.

A big, fat pregnant ghost. Or a china doll. Maybe that was more accurate.

Edward was fastidiously becoming a brick wall around me, blocking me from outside contact.

My being terrified only amplified his fears. His fear of loss, I suppose.

Of course, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't let him stay with me all the time. Too much time around any sanity deprived, pregnant chick was sure to make anyone prone to losing their bearings. Luckily, I was slowly recovering from a three-day lapse in calm. In turn, Edward was gradually thawing from thick piece of ice he had been throughout that time.

I understood, fervently, how he felt about all this.

And, that's exactly why I couldn't feel surprised when he was trying to get Charlie to do something illegal--an attempt to get my former attackers behind bars.

If only to give us piece of mind, or, rather, to give Edward.

I was relatively past the whole 'lose-my-fucking-mind' jaunt; Edward was, if not painfully, more protective than before.

Which left little room to breathe at all. It was funny that I meant this also literally, too. Fuck, even unconscious with exhaustion over keeping me safe every hour of the day, he'd still manage to try and shield me in his sleep. It was odd--he couldn't help himself. And if it ever got too much, I'd simply remind myself of how Edward probably felt.

Seeing everything through his eyes put it into a clearer perspective. It was obviously hard for him. I was carrying our child, an unborn entity that we made together; and although he took an enormous part in that coming to fruition, I suppose he might still feel like an outsider.

Like I was having a party with the baby and he wasn't invited.

Although the image I conjured in my head was hilarious; it explained alot.

If I continued to figuratively put myself in his shoes (not literally, he had clown feet) I understood his behaviour on more than just a scientific level--that it was a natural chemical process to protect the mother of your child when she is bearing it in order to keep the bloodline going.

Anyway, it's not like I was in any position to turn him down and restrain him from being the way he was. I was a blimp and I imagined I was barely capable of picking up a bowl of fruit as it was.

It had been exactly two weeks after Edward gave Charlie "the call".

My father hadn't spoken directly to me, offering words of comfort and consolation.

I was shocked and I'd be lying if I didn't admit it: but I was hurt.

Did he not care anymore? Was he resentful of the fact that I left him at home to get my own life? Or was it because that life was with my former high school teacher? Questions boiled and weighed like solid led on my brain until I couldn't help but cry.

I knew the baby knew something was going on. I could feel its distress sometimes, kicking me and turning restlessly, all the time. Maybe it was normal; maybe I was just being paranoid. But I felt it--the baby. It knew what I knew.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Edward asked softly, sitting down on the sofa beside me.

He wrapped a solid, unyeilding arm around my hunched and shaking shoulders. He often told me that I scared him when I suddenly burst out crying; he said he felt closed off because I was lost in some other world without him.

"Why hasn't he spoken to me-e-e-e? I hiccoughed, sobbing into my palms as Edward gently rocked me.

His voice vibrated through his chest, my tears already having soaked his once-clean and crisp shirt.

"Who?" he asked, wary.

Although he probably already knew who.

"My Dad! Charlie! Why hasn't he called me? Why won't he talk to me? I'm his daughter!" I sobbed relentlessly.

Edward gave a forced chuckle, feigning light-heartedness.

I knew he was very put-out with my father at the moment; their relationship hadn't been rock solid to begin with--a mother fucking disaster would be best to describe it.

"Sweetheart, relax. You've been worked up all week. I need you to breathe," he urged, his voice losing it's soft edge and turning stern.

I hadn't realised my face was heating up. I threw the afghan that I had draped over my shoulders like a shawl, off.

Edward's arms re-wrapped around my trembling form; providing the much needed shelter I desired.

"I don't--I don't even know w-w-why I-I c-c-rying like this!" I said indignantly, annoyed with my weakness for emotion at this point.

"I just saw a commercial o-o-on T.V and--and..." My voice squeaked and a fresh round of waterworks cascaded down my already sodden cheeks.

It was an advertisment for toothpaste. A little girl was having her father help her brush her teeth, an enthusiastic yet cheesy smile plastered on both their faces. I don't even remember Charlie ever having done that with me but still...

Being exremely gentle as if I was made of the finest china, Edward pulled me away a short distance to mop up my tears with his sleave before rolling it back up to his elbows, the way I liked it. Embarrassed at my sudden swing of despair, my cheeks grew hotter. The tears had stopped coming and right now I was just overcome with fucking anger!

I could have tore down the street shouting profanities at the top of my lungs, I was pissed off that much. What, so I was abandoned now? Charlie was going to go that route was he? Just because I left him back in that dump of a town, Forks?

Well, he couldn't bring me down!

I huffed a little, breathing in a big breath and puffing up like a blow-fish before letting it all out slowly, controlling myself.

"God!" I moaned, burying my overzealous face in Edward's chest.

Yet no matter how awkward or neurotic I seemed to act, my fiancee knew exactly how to handle it.

I wonder how many crazy pregnant bitches he's got on the side...? He must have had some practice somewhere.

"I hate these mood-swings, Edward!" I groaned; letting the sudden mute volume around us calm me.

Edward must have turned the television off once I mentioned why I was crying.

Haha.

What a great fiancee he was; helping his wife avoid unpleasant dental hygiene commercials.

His rumbling laugh shook both of us; it sounded only slightly forced than before. It wasn't a sounf I often heard anymore, not under the constant strain we were under at the moment. I frowned and removed my face to look up into Edward's bemused expression.

"We haven't had sex in days!" I added as an after-thought.

However, an after-thought it was usually not. Out-of-control horny all the time. If this what happened when you were pregnant, they should have written it down in BOLD on the packaging!

Edward's green eyes blazed distractedly, catching mine in an intense gaze.

He breathed a heavy sigh, his brow furrowing irritably before breaking the connection.

"You need your rest, Bella. You've been under too much stress. I can--I..." he was shaking his head, letting go of me and shifting to face the blank T.V, avoiding my eyes.

He placed his palms flat on his knees and did not look at me.

"Come on! Edward you can't tell me that you're not..." I glanced down at the crotch of his jeans and cupped his junk in my hand earning a hiss and making him jump.

"...not needing it too!" I finished.

His muscles had tensed, the tendons in his neck were strained, resisting.

"You can't avoid me like this forever!" I complained.

"You can stop treating me like a piece of glass! I know what I want right now, and it's not to relax. I've been doing that for the past week or so now!" My voice grew louder, indecently so.

Edward squeezed his eyes shut and leaned rigidly back against the couch, facing the ceiling. His mouth was a tight, thin line. I growled impatiently and grabbed his stiff hand in mine, moving it to my chest.

His eyes flew open but he did not remove his hand, instead took a shuddering breath.

"Why don't you want me?" I whispered.

Then a horrifying thought occured to me.

"Have you had enough of me like this?" I demanded, louder this time.

Edward groaned and sat up straight, his muscles still taught.

"For the last time, Bella! I will always find you beautiful. I will always want you!" he spat.

The words were lovely, just the delivery was hostile, frustrated.

"Then do something!" I begged.

"Please!" I breathed, my fingers tugging the waist of my shirt up.

"No, no, no, no! Please, Bella! I can't...I-I can take care of myself...I can't, I don't," he tried to explain as I continued to removed my clothing despite his spluttered reasoning.

He did nothing to stop me though, only feeble words of objection.

I stood up from the couch; this was my objection this evening. I was past moody and depressive by this stage of the day.

My blue T-shirt was lying on his lap, clutched in his fists.

I was uncomfortable in bras now so I was already bare-chested before him, his attempts at talking me out of it died in his mouth, followed by silence and staring open-mouthed. It was time we did this; I missed his touch so much right now, aching for the moment when our skin met, tingling for the sensation.

"Ch-Charlie is just worried about upsetting you," he mumbled, still wide-eyed.

I nodded, not really worried about that anymore. I pulled down my sweat pants, they curled around my feet before I stepped out of them and kicked them out of my way. It was impossible to describe how infuriating the last two weeks had been without so much as a grope from my lover.

Well I was sick of just being kissed, I needed more now and he was going to give it to me. And by the looks of the erection he was sporting, his body was willing.

"I can't, Bella...I..." he muttered weakly even though his hands reach for mine.

He grasped them tightly before restraining himself and letting them go with a painful hiss. He brought them up to his face and rubbed feverishly over his eyes and through his hair, hoping to wipe away the muck of stress.

"Why won't you touch me?" I whispered, my thumbs hooked in my lace panties.

"I haven't had you in weeks, Bella. All this stress is doing, is making me a savage!" he growled, letting his hands fall back to his lap, trying in vain to conceal his hardness.

"What if I want you to be savage?" I teased, a small smile around my lips.

He groaned and shook his head again.

"No. This shit that's been going on--it only makes me want to fuck you wildly, fuck until you can't move. But I can't do that to you, not when you're like this! What if I hurt you?" he demanded, hoping for a definitive answer in my eyes.

I just simply shook my head, letting my panties slide down my legs. I kneeled down slowly, having only a minor difficulty maneouvering my baby belly.

His hands were back in tight fists at his sides. I let my hands wander up his jean-clad thighs. My breasts pressed firmly against his knees as I bent over his lap, reaching for the zipper and belt buckle of his pants. Obviously fighting an already lost battle, Edward let his head fall back against the sofa again, his perfectly muscled abdomen strained impossibly tighter as he fought his desires.

"Don't hold back," I breathed, pulling his pants open and down his thighs till they fell down his shins.

I pushed them off, along with his shoes, nudging them aside. Exposed and beautiful, I would say at the sight of him.

Barely restraining the urge to take him in my mouth, I stood up and climbed into his lap; my home. He dared not moved or make a sound. I felt like I was playing with a dangerous snake, a predator about to strike suddenly with enormous force.

Raking my fingers up is blue, pin striped button down, his jaw tightened and his cock grew more solid between us. I was growing uncomfortable but excited with the pulsating between my own legs, throwing caution to the wind and letting my hot, wet centre graze over his tip. Dangling raw meat in front of the coyote.

A ferocious growl surged through his chest beneath my palms, but he didn't move at all.

Realising that I was leading this show, I opened his shirt, popping the buttons one-by-one in a slow, tortorous manner. I was breathing hard, holding back urged and temptations to impale myself on his cock straight away. I needed to savour this, in case he never let it happen again.

I finished with the last button, an inch away from his penis, straight and at attention. My finger tips grazed it on purpose as I withdrew my hands. He jerked suddenly, his eyelids peeling back to glare at me.

I took one of his hands, still balled tightly, and tried to straighten it out. Once he let me uncurl his fingers, I layed his palm against my cheek and guided it down my face, my neck, my collar-bone and my chest before I cupped it firmly around my left breast. His thumb rubbing over my hard nipple was like ecstasy, his skin in contact with mine--so intimately. It was about time. My knees were resting on either side of his lap, my ass resting on his naked thighs.

Last time, the night after recieving the call from Charlie; the last time that Edward and I had sex, it was about vulnerability. I was distraught and so was he--we were in dire need of a comforting love. This was more about raw passion and ferocity than comfort, really. It was a mistake to leave it so long.

We were just lucky that neither of us has burst with sexual frustration during our short drought.

I didn't need to guide his other hand, as it found my waist by itself. Edward was positively scowling at me. I glared steadily back; arching my back and lifting my ass from his legs. My belly pressed against him before I had found his head, waiting at my entrance. His hips rose off the sofa, impatient and greedy.

Shuddering with long-awaited pleasure, I gently let him dip inside me--we both gasped--before I lifted myself back up, teasing him some more.

He was right about being savage--it was like he was barely human anymore, giving way for an animal counter-part.

He bared his teeth, growling when I didn't give him what he wanted.

His hands were becoming tighter, the one gripping my waist was sure to leave marks in my skin. But this is what I needed from him. To feel for once. Feel him instead of the rotting carcus of worry and despair.

As if he couldn't control himself anymore, he gripped my waist, guiding me back to where he needed me on him and forcing me down.

A loud groan erupted from his lips; an immensely pleasurable purr from my own to match.

"I-warned...you," he said grunted, breathing hard as I began to work in circles, rubbing myself against him but giratin my hips over his.

He took his hand back from my breast and gripped my hair, pulling my triumphant face down to his. With an animalistic surge inside me, I took his lips with mine. He was working with such passion that he was right--he was wild. I was rocking hard; gasping, pushing further.

I kissed, bit and licked; Edward grabbed me, kissed me, pulled me closer, growed at me angrily.

"Fuck," I gasped, my voice high and squeaky.

His tongue left a trail of fire between my breasts. He licked both of them, taking my nipples into his mouth, sucking, nibbling.

I didn't care that I was sore or we were acting freakishly like mating apes. I was hungry for it.

I gripped a fistful of hair, tugging his head back from my chest and planting my lips on his again, his groan reverberated through my skull.

I was leaking my moisture all over him; it dripped onto the sofa, leaving a moist patch in the fabric. It lubricated our connection; his cock gliding effortlessly in and out of my hole. Panting like I was winded, my tongue licked over his bottom lip before he pulled me back for more, catching my lip between his teeth. Our bodies still working feverishly for the release we both sought.

It was going too slow, though. I needed more speed before I lost my mind with this gradual build up of pressure inside me. Edward was struggling, his muscles were tense all over, his chest beaded with sweat. He wasn't going to last long. He voiced my thoughts a moment later as we continued to glower at each other.

"I won't last long. I can't." he said gruffly, his teeth gritted with strain, holding back.

I clenched my own teeth, grasping Edward's shoulders, my nails biting into his skin. My stomach flipped uncomfortably as Edward lifted me up with him--like your foot missing a step going up a flight of stairs. Our bodies twined passionately, he very dispassionately walked me to the dining room--the room we rarely went into or used--and sat me down on the edge of the heavy and vey unneccessary oak wood table.

He yanked my legs forward, giving him better access to my core before driving into me with more force. His eyes fiery--he hitched my leg onto his hip.

"Oh yes! Yes!" I gasped, this was a much better position.

The cold table on my back, the angle with which Edward was fucking me--it reminded me of our old times in Forks.

Like when we were making love in his kitchen, or at school, ontop of his desk.

"Fuucking....FUUUCKK!" Edward swore, prolonging the curse in a breathless growl.

I peaked and felt, with enormous pleasure as I clenched around his dick which throbbed inside me still. He came with me, letting out a desperate yell and swearing like a maniac as he emptied two weeks worth of pent-up rage, desire and stress inside me. My clit was still pulsing, my body over-heated and sweaty. I tried to sit up but Edward wouldn't have it. As if a mask had been removed, he looked down at me with his trade-mark expression of self-loathe.

"I told you we shouldn't have," he whispered, staring pointedly at my side where I knew he left welts from his nails.

Just as I had, yet I felt no remorse.

"But it was what we both needed." I reminded him breathlessly.

A crooked but relieved smile broke out over his usually weary face.

"Now we can get back to living, shall we?" I suggested, still catching my breath.

Edward swooped, winding his arms behind me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and let him lift me off the table. He kissed me sweetly and Edward-like now, a little less fury mingled than before.

"You hungry?" he asked, smiling against my lips.

I had forgotten the time and the day. Being couped up was not good for me. We had been tense for days, Edward and I. The thing he was afraid of giving me, turned out to be the antidote to all this fucking anxiety. I felt as though we had a brighter outlook. We could fix this mess.

"Starving." I answered with a grin.