A 'what if' that has been in my documents folder for ages, too long to go in the 'for want of a nail' oneshot collection. Then I realized it didn't have to be a oneshot collection.

So it's an old fic where the focus is on Van and Lorelei. No pairings, just family fluff and angst I suppose. Much more angst and suffering, since this is Auldrant we're talking about.


Van Grants had a moment of returned awareness, not even enough time to remember what was going on before he was Vandesdelca Musto Fende, trying to escape the doom he had been used to cause with his pregnant mother, and they were going to die. So he sang the song he had been taught as his mother bade him, the Grand Fonic Hymn that was meant to bring the aid of an uncaring Lorelei.

And as quickly as he'd become that child the flashback ended. Only it wasn't a flashback or nightmare. It was too real for that. It was what had happened exactly as he'd experienced it, knowing only what he had back then instead of having the horrible hindsight of the great irony of praying to the entity that condemned them all. He hadn't known it was in the Score then. His grandfather had told him, not wanting Van to blame himself any longer. Van still did, even though he knew who deserved the blame. The entity that had saved Yulia's descendants but no one else.

The vision, the memory has been real. This felt far less real. He felt nothing, the numbness associated with severed nerves. What had just happened?

Mystearica had come to attack him, yes. The replica Luke had tried to protect him and set off a hyperresonance. Van had kept Gailardia from interfering and they could create another replica if worst came to worst, but Tear? He'd known he should stay back, that he was needed, that he couldn't die before Eldrant rose, but that was his baby sister.

The only way to free her had been to replace her in the hyperresonance, and as he did so he felt a transport be caught in his knowledge of what hyperresonance did, shaped by it, twisted to destruction… and then he'd waken up.

He was being healed: he felt feeling return to his face and he was able to open his eyes. It was night and the replica was leaning over him, his eyes closed as he focused.

That was strange. He'd kept Luke from learning about the very concept of healing with artes, and how could the young and excitable Luke be so… not serene, but dedicated instead of panicking when they were in a strange place and Van was wounded? Very, very wounded, judging by the numbness.

Luke lifted his hands up, into Van's range of vision from where they had been over his chest. A golden glow that had to be hyperresonance faded as he did so, and then Luke's eyes opened. "Thank goodness." Luke didn't sound like that, the difference as dramatic as between the replica's voice and Asch's. The Luke with golden eyes sounded old, with an old and faded grief that had become his default in the way anger had Asch's and need had Luke's. "I am sorry to have used my power on your mind, child of Yulia, one who would seize glory, but if you had not sung our hymn I could not have stayed here and you would have perished."

"Lorelei." Lorelei had power over memory: he must have put Van into a situation where he had sung the hymn so that he would sing it again. "What are you doing here?"

"The light of the sacred flame inherited my power, and my power is my mind is myself. When this fragment of my soul felt what was happening to you he cried out in fear for your life, and as my perfect isofon his voice is my voice. But only if you sang the hymn could I stay." Lorelei gathered a hyperresonance in its hands again and returned to work.

"The hyperresonance damaged my body?" Van's blood ran cold. Hyperresonance damage could not be healed. Healing restored the body to its ideal state, and hyperresonance attacked the pattern that said what the body should be. A body that had an arm destroyed by hyperresonance now was 'supposed to' not have an arm, and all the healing artes in the world could not convince it otherwise.

But if Lorelei could make a memory come to life, then this would be child's play for the entity that was the Score.

"Exactly," Lorelei responded to Van's thoughts, and Van realized that of course the entity would know them even before he thought them. "If it were just a matter of healing I would not have needed you to sing the hymn so that I could remain. Healing only takes an instant. Making a new pattern… would, if it weren't for the pact. As it is, only my young scion's presence allows me to do something outside it. Thank goodness, if he hadn't…" Lorelei's eyes closed for a moment.

"But I do not know how much I can do. My presence here will gradually destroy Luke's mind, the flow of so much power will damage his replica body, and the use of so much power will also tire any human body. And if I leave while you are still like this Luke will attempt to heal you no matter what the cost, and then he will surely die."

"How much damage is there?"

"This hyperresonance was created of Luke's desire to drive the one who bears ancient sadness away so that she could not harm you and his own desire to escape the manor. Tear desired to kill you, but Luke's will overrode hers and it would have been merely a transport arte. Yet, when you entered the arte, her desire for your death combined with your own. If it were not for Luke's desire to save you, you would have died instantly. As it was… you did die, but your personality was not destroyed thanks to Luke's desire to protect you and keep you with him. Your body, however, was lost."

"All of it?"

"Everything. If it were not for my perfect isofon's love for you there would be nothing left of you to return to the fon belt."

Did Lorelei seriously think that this would cause Van to spare him? The fact that Lorelei was trying to guilt-trip Van into letting the replica live merely heightened his desire to kill the one who bore the name Luke fon Fabre. "One of your isofons' deaths is required by your own Score."

"I know. I have known for over two thousand years, oh one who would seize glory. As I knew that Yulia's child would be used to destroy his own home. It was only fitting that mine risk the same fate. I hoped that his presence might be enough to avert it, but how many ripples can a babe of only two years cause? A foolish hope indeed." Lorelei tried to smile at its own stupidity, but the small upward turn of Luke's lips did not reach those eyes. It touched Van's face then, and Van's eyes narrowed at the liberty.

"You have every right to hate and kill me, oh one who would seize glory. And you created this isofon, and he would follow you into the depths of hell and never hate you for it. Perhaps that is what I wanted you to know. You bear no guilt, Vandesdelca. All of this is my fault, and even if my isofon had naught to do with it neither of us will blame you for doing what you choose. It is… I am happy to see that after two thousand years you truly do have the power to choose, now. No matter what you do, you are Yulia's child, Auldrant's child, Asch's teacher, and Luke's creator."

Auldrant's child? That meant Lorelei's child. Van hated the very thought of that.

"I did not mean to… I am sorry." Lorelei removed the offending hand reluctantly. "I am truly sorry." It returned to work.

"You are healing me even though I intend to destroy you."

"Of course. I will heal anyone." Those eyes grew heavier. "That the Score will permit me. And I do not hate you, Vandesdelca. How could I? You have done nothing that deserves my hatred, and won't. Hod was not your fault, and you have every right to take vengeance."

More nerves sprang to life as Lorelei talked, it seemed to have started healing the pattern it had just restored now. Lorelei's hand now rested over Van's heart, and it seemed his clothing had indeed also been destroyed.

"I confess that I am divided. I both want to die and I want this world to live. But for either to happen the Score must be destroyed. That cannot happen without you. You are both my executioner, Vandesdelca, and my savior. If the Score is gone then I can return to the fonons I manifested from and die, either way." Lorelei's hand caressed Van's chest lightly. "Do you feel that?"

"Don't you already know?"

"Your memories are part of me, yes, but I can choose not to look since you don't want me to."

"Yes, I feel that." The area of sensation extended to the base of his rib cage and no farther. Van decided he perhaps didn't want to be able to look down, since he was very likely nothing but a disembodied torso.

With so little sensation to focus on Lorelei's touch was maddening as well as enraging. "I'm glad," he was told, and Lorelei's hand was removed as it returned to work on the next area. "I have been able to do so little for two thousand years. I'm glad that the second thing since the Score I am able to choose to do is to help you."

"What was the first?" How much freedom did Lorelei have? If it were unpredictable that could pose a problem.

"Permit this isofon's birth. I knew it was necessary, but memory made me hesitate. If I had allowed it right away the light of the sacred flame wouldn't have had to suffer as much. The last time… the last time the power I am an embodiment of manifested among humans was as myself. I knew that Luke was necessary to destroy the Score, and yet I couldn't stand even the possibility that he would be used for another Score. Thank you for keeping Mohs from realizing that possibility exists." Lorelei bent to kiss his forehead in benediction.

"How dare you?!" Van raged, wishing he could attack Lorelei.

"You're right, I should not have done that." Lorelei touched its lips. "It is just that… the feelings of my isofons affect me, and they both love you more than anything. And I have waited two thousand years for you, my only hope of death or redemption. If you wish to punish me yourself… I do not know if I can stay long enough for that. If it's any comfort, as a being of memory I suffer exactly as much as everyone bound by the Score does. And their memories don't exist before the painful destiny and vanish when they die. I have known the pain you would feel, I have felt it, for two thousand years. Just as vivid as what I showed you so that you would sing, I feel as you did while Hod crumbled and I know that it is my fault. Never yours, Vandesdelca. Never yours."

As Van contemplated this Lorelei smiled. "Is it selfish of me to wish to ease your pain? Perhaps it is. Perhaps it's a sop to my own guilt, as unfair as it was that only Yulia's descendants were helped when Hod fell. I can do so little! I can only do this for you because Luke's actions are not governed by the Score. Otherwise I couldn't have done anything but watch, as I have for two thousand and seventeen long, long years, lived by millions of people."

"Are you trying to get me to feel pity for you? How pitiful."

Lorelei laughed. "Oh, I am, oh one who shall seize me. I am! If you wish I shall stay until this body falls apart: Luke would be willing to die so that you could have satisfaction, but as much as you tormented me the pain would be drowned in the anguish of millions! It would be a false penance, but how I crave it! How sickening, that the sentience of life and healing craves death and torment!" Lorelei laughed until it had to gasp for breath, clutching its chest. Luke's chest. "I should... hurry."

When the lower half of his torso was complete Lorelei sighed with relief. "You could survive with only this much, but I'll do as much more as I can."

Van dared raise his head to see the hyperresonance in Lorelei's hands gathering at the stump of his sword arm, gradually adding to it. Yes, the essential organs were all there, although it would be a hindrance to be unable to walk on his own.

At least Mystearica… "What happened to Mystearica?"

"Your addition to the hyperresonance caused some destruction to the manor, but your desire to protect your sister meant that she escaped unharmed. The Shining Guardian, however, was very lucky instinct drove him to put his arm between his body and the hyperresonance. If you were to sing the hymn in Luke's presence and his after Luke has had some time to recover I could repair the damage."

"That's a relief." He'd injured his lord… Van closed his eyes.

When feeling returned to his arm he was able to move it, form it into a fist. "Work on my legs next," he ordered. He could fight with only one arm.

"As you wish." Lorelei bent to the task, not pausing when Van touched its borrowed body as it knelt by his side. "Do as you wish," was its only response.

"Distracting you would mean less of me is healed." He wasn't that foolish. "I'll find some other way to have my vengeance. You care about Luke, don't you?"

"Yes. And Asch, and Mystearica. They along with you are the ones I have awaited, have hoped for." It pained Lorelei to admit it, but, "To hurt Luke would truly hurt me, you are right. The anguish it would cause him if his beloved teacher were to turn against him is something I would experience along with him, and the pain of knowing you were doing it solely because of me would hurt just as much."

"And you're telling me this."

"I owe you the truth, among so many other things. It is not right that an innocent suffer because of me, but what are you but an innocent who has suffered because of me? What are Tear and Asch and your parents and Sync and…" Lorelei shuddered. "It is wrong, it is wrong that I crave death, I am life, I must fight with everything in me for survival, I…" Cutting himself off, Lorelei focused everything on finishing Van's right leg and with a quick touch healed it.

On to the other, and Van realized that Lorelei's shoulders slumping wasn't just a sign of despair when the glow faltered for a moment. "No," Lorelei murmured to itself. "Not yet. Not yet."

"Can you return another time? You implied that you could, to heal Gailardia."

"Yes, but…" Lorelei had to put one arm on the ground to prop itself up, leaving only one to serve as fonon-gatherer and controller for the hyperresonance. "You are in Tataroo Valley, there are monsters here and you are technically inside Malkuth, although it isn't that far to Chesedonia. And all your weapons were destroyed, although Luke's are intact. I at least need to make sure that…" The single hand that now inscribed Van's body's new pattern trembled, just a bit. "That you can survive… Luke has sealed himself away to endure, as he does when I… And he's able to endure much, but his body is weak as of yet. I'm just exhausting it, I'll lose the battle with it to stay conscious before anything… permanent…happens." Lorelei yawned: Van's left leg was now complete down to the knee.

Van managed to sit up and grasped Lorelei. "Here. Will this let you work faster?"

"Yes, it was getting to be an effort to keep myself upright and do this." Lorelei leaned against Van gratefully, not caring about Van's nakedness. Of course, Lorelei wasn't human and if it was every memory, even intimate moments, it wasn't surprising it lacked shame. "I…" The lower leg seemed to be present, if still not quite right. When Lorelei couldn't focus enough to complete the statement, or perhaps the thought, Van realized that the respite granted by the support was only a temporary one.

Adrenaline could let humans do things that landed them with broken bones afterwards. How far could the fonon sentience that governed bodies and healing push a replica before they broke down?

Not much farther, it seemed, as the golden light flickered out and Lorelei, or perhaps Luke again, fell bonelessly unconscious in Van's arm.

The new limb was solid, if there wasn't any feeling to it and it seemed more like a model of a leg than a leg.

It moved, at least. He could flex his toes and so on. He'd seen worse prosthetics.

Not that he had any reason to feel grateful.