How he had ended up in Sara's Denali with Greg in the back listening to some horrible punk music on the way to the same dive as usual, he couldn't remember. He blocked out most of what they were saying, every once in a while being jabbed in the shoulder by Greg when he'd make some joke that Nick didn't catch.

"Isn't that right Nick?" Greg asked enthusiastically.

"Sure," that was all Nick could say, he really didn't know what he was agreeing to.

"So you just agreed that the only things that come from Texas are steers and queers?"

Nick turned around and shot a very nasty look at Greg, Sara now cracking up.

"Hey it was a joke, I was just testing to see if you were listening, and you weren't so, yer bad!"

Nick faced forward. Mouthy little punk. He didn't really know when Greg had started getting on his nerves, but he knew that he was. He use to like Greg, think he got a bit of a bum rap for being so young. Nick had known what it was like struggling to be noticed. He use to sympathize with him, now all Nick wanted to do was deck the shit out of him.

"Nick, I'm really glad you decided to come out with us tonight, it's been a while, and we all missed your good humor." Sara stole glances at him while trying to drive.

"Well if Greg keeps it up I may just jump out right now." Greg and Sara laughed, thinking it was a joke, it so wasn't.

After finally getting everyone situated around a large enough table, they all ordered drinks.

Catherine had ice water, Greg a Pepsi, Sara a diet Pepsi, Warrick ice water with lemon and Nick sweet tea.

Catherine had been eyeing him. She knew his "dirty" little secret about sitting in his car before work. She called it that to make light of how serious it wasn't.

"So Nicky whatcha been up to?" Catherine decided to start the questions, the ones he knew were coming. Everyone stared at him waiting for his next words.

"Not much more than you guys, I work all night and sleep all day." It was the truth, albeit not the whole truth.

"No one special?" Greg asked. Prying little prick. Calm down Nick he's just being him.

"If you mean short bus special then I've always got you Greggo." The whole table burst out laughing. He'd made a joke, the first one in months.

"Ha ha, very funny, you're just trying to skirt the fact that no one wants to date you." Greg spat, trying to recover from the embarrassment.

"Nice Greg, did your 12 year old sister teach you that one?" Laughter all around. He was trying to poke fun and not get serious. Some distant part of him wanted desperately for outings like this, and for them to be like they use to be with everyone sitting around and joking, mainly at Greg's expense.

Greg stuck his tongue out, going with the preschooler flow and poking fun at himself now.

Nick Stokes smiled a huge smile, his eyes squinting and lighting up, gentle laughter pouring from his mouth. It felt good.

It was bound to happen at some point.

"See now, I knew the old you was buried in there somewhere." Sara said over the frivolity.

Nick went statue still. It didn't offend him as much as it took him aback. Everyone went deathly quiet, staring at Nick from the corners of their eyes.

"Nick I, I'm so sorry I didn't mean…that is I didn't mean to…" Sara was stumbling over her words trying to find something to say but not the wrong thing yet again.

Nick smiled faintly, "It's ok Sara, pretend it didn't happen."

They all looked at one another trying to feel out if it was really ok. Then Catherine decided to open the flood gates.

"Pretend what Nicky, pretend she didn't say that, or pretend it didn't happen to you?"

Why couldn't she have just kept her mouth shut, let it go, why couldn't they all just let it the fuck go?

Nick clenched his strong jaw, muscles visibly flexing in his face. He sat up straighter.

"You'd think the way all of you carry on, that it was you in that box and not me." He paused trying to control his voice and temper. "You'd think that it was you trying to act like it were all normal, trying to piece together your lives after almost loosing it slowly and painfully."

They were all trying not to stare at him.

"We were in that box with you Nick," Warrick chimed in, "we all were, we were hurting and dying inside with every moment you were in there, we are trying to act normal because we don't want you to feel like, like your alone."

"Bullshit!" he shouted, slamming his fist onto the table causing the silverware to clank and everyone to flinch. "You weren't in there, you were out here, and you knew that the next day you would still be alive, I don't need your sympathy and I don't need your help!" He was shouting and the whole restaurant was silent. It was then that he was painfully aware of Sophia Curtis' absence. He felt the desire in him to seek her comfort, some type of comfort, anything but this.

"Nick we care!" Catherine said with concern and tears in here eyes.

"That's the problem, you guys still care, but I don't." with that said he stood up abruptly disturbing the table and deftly left the diner. Before anyone could catch up to him he hailed a cab and escaped.

What have I done? He asked himself, still clenching his jaw. Now what the fuck am I going to do, I just blew my cover, I let them get to me, I let it all get to me, I didn't hide it.

He hated himself.

The cab pulled up to his house and he exited tossing a 100 bill at the driver not looking back for change. He knew what he was going to do, something he hadn't done in a while.

He swiftly entered the house, if one could call it that since he rarely actually lived in it, and changed his clothes. He put on a crisp white button up collared shirt, tucked it into a pair of snuggly fitting blue jeans, and smoothed his hair for the billionth time. After a long hard look in the mirror, he turned off the lights and set out to stalk some unsuspecting prey.