A.N: Sorry for the delay in updates! University is about to start and I still have three chapters of this story to complete! Eeek! I got waaaay too caught up in saving souls in Lightning Returns, and then I went to town on Bhunivelze (is that how you spell it?) and watched the secret ending and cried happy tears! And then I got super inspired to write a fic, but realised I have too many on-going projects posted here to start posting a new one without getting overwhelmed! So I decided to finish this fic, and then continue on with Like a Moth to Flame for the time being :P Sorry again for the late update despite being on holidays and I hope you enjoy!
Thanks and sorry dear Womble- I'll try my best to not procrastinate any more on these fics :O
Chapter Seven: Selfish
Aerith was not one of those girls she'd seen so often in the slums who would drape themselves over the many handsome, strong men who ambled into Wall Market to procure wares from the black market. She left that kind of cheap behaviour to those who no doubt ended up being employed by the Honey Bee Inn. She was completely dedicated to her dead SOLDIER boyfriend, after all.
The flower girl cringed at the bitter taste her thoughts left in her mouth. Chancing a glance at the blond SOLDIER who walked by her side through the grasslands, Aerith could feel her cheeks grow hot with both excitement and shame.
She felt excited because she hadn't felt the thrill of being close to someone she admired immensely for such a long time. But… her forest green gaze travelled hesitantly towards the repressed young martial artist who offered her so much warmth and respect despite feeling so strongly for the very man Aerith began to grow too close to- and she felt the shame creep up again.
Cloud Strife was not for her.
Aerith shook her head and kept her hands folded together in front of her as the party walked closer to the swamp. Thoughts of being gobbled up alive by the Midgar Zolom seemed much more appealing than spending another moment in the silent push and pull relationship that had formed between the blond mercenary and the brunette flower girl.
Especially when Tifa would look over and smile at them so forlornly, as if she'd already given up on who was rightfully hers.
Aerith frowned and slowed her pace, so that she was no longer walking beside Cloud. He, of course, noticed her change of pace immediately and turned to question her in his soft spoken voice.
"You okay, Aerith?" Cloud asked, concern lacing his voice. Aerith felt a sharp tinge of guilt pierce through her chest as she conveniently recalled how Tifa had unsuccessfully attempted to hide a rather nasty scrape on her upper arm with a spare rag from her pack. Cloud hadn't even stopped to ask Tifa if she was alright to continue powering through the countless battles they faced during their journey to the swamp marshlands.
Aerith felt terrible.
"I'm fine- thanks for asking," Aerith almost frowned at her high pitched, girlish reply. Casting a glance over her shoulder, she felt overcome by sadness as she spied Tifa sending her an unmasked look of concern.
"We can stop if you're tired. We've been moving for a while now…" Tifa offered kindly. Cloud frowned at the younger woman's suggestion.
"That's just wasting time, Teef. We've got to keep pushin', or Sephiroth's gonna commit another 'Nibelheim' on some other backwater town." Cloud argued, his tone rising. Aerith caught Tifa rubbing at her covered arm as she nodded with a determined look on her face.
"Yeah, you're right… sorry Cloud." Cloud nodded in dismissal before turning back to the front of the group and jogging towards a loudly complaining Barret Wallace.
Aerith sighed and shrugged her shoulders before making her way towards Tifa, who was now evidently limping.
"You look like you need some rest," Aerith chided softly as she linked arms with the beautiful martial artist. Tifa's eyes widened slightly before she let out an embarrassed laugh.
"Oh, that. It's just a scrape! And I've just jarred my leg from that last manoeuvre I pulled in that last encounter." Aerith frowned as she readied her staff to heal her younger friend. She took in the tired visage of Tifa's form and let out a small sight before casting Cure on the dark brunette maiden.
"Do you feel better now?" Tifa grinned impishly before nodded as she shook out her leg and stretched her arm.
"Yeah, it really does!" Tifa turned to Aerith, her radiant smile almost blinding the older woman. "Thanks Aerith, I can always count on you to patch me up when I need it!" Tifa exclaimed happily before pulling Aerith along energetically.
Aerith couldn't help but notice that Tifa actively avoided making any sort of contact with Cloud on their trek to the edge of the marshlands.
After a few moments of silent, seemingly happy skipping beside Tifa, Aerith sighed and stopped in her tracks.
It was wrong… it was all wrong. Even as Tifa held onto her hand, as she smiled and joked and laughed with her… all Aerith could think about was Cloud and whether he was thinking of her at that very moment.
Aerith felt cheap… and dirty.
Like those girls in the slums.
Before Aerith could begin to wallow in her own self-pity, the very subject of her woes turned and flashed her a rare smile.
With an uncharacteristic urge of selfishness, Aerith Gainsborough actively ignored Tifa's minutely tightening grip as she waved back cheerily.
When Cloud smirked back over his shoulder before turning back to the front, Aerith realised that she couldn't bring herself to care that Tifa seemed to have lost her smile for the rest of that afternoon and evening.
It wasn't like she'd actively enticed Cloud in any way… and Zack had been gone for ages.
She couldn't just stay alone for the rest of her existence. Not when Cloud was making her want to live again.
With a deep intake of air, Aerith purposefully turned to Tifa and ignored the sharp pain of remorse that cut into her very being as Tifa's hurt gaze rested upon her smiling face.
Aerith couldn't pretend anymore.
She couldn't pretend that she didn't like Cloud's attention.
She couldn't just pretend she didn't notice how Cloud treated her better.
She couldn't pretent to play the ignorant fool just to save Tifa's feelings.
For now, she had to confide in Cloud.
For he allowed her to think she was capable of living happily once again.
"Cloud looks like he's got something on his mind. I'm going to go to him," Aerith chirped, almost faltering as Tifa quickly schooled her features into a fake brightness that Midgar's flower girl had seen so often on their short journey.
"Oh yeah, looks like he's been wanting to talk for a while now. Something's on his mind…" Tifa trailed off sadly before she shook her head in a daze. "Don't keep Mr. SOLDIER waiting, then! And thanks again Aerith, for being here." Tifa finished quietly, though her wine coloured irises shone genuinely.
Not able to stand the younger woman's selfless nature any longer, Aerith turned away from her and jogged lightly towards Cloud- forgetting her feelings of angst as soon as clear blue eyes made contact with a bright forest green.
Note:
I always thought that Aerith was well aware Tifa liked Cloud and she still actively flirted with him ONLY because Cloud reminded her so much of Zack. And I can't hate her for that, even though it may seem like I'm bashing her- let's get real: everyone has a selfish and dark side and all's fair in love and war. Cloud liked Aerith and Aerith liked Cloud and Tifa, unfortunately, was the outside party. No Tifa bashing intended here either- I'm just trying to portray the complexity of this love triangle and I do feel I have completely failed so please, flame away LOL. This angsty romance is what I need to work on :/
