MAJOR OOC-WARNING! I guess I have to say that, cause my Buttercup and Bubbles are SO much different from their TV-counterparts, especially in this chapter. I hope it's still believable cause of the back story, but tell me if you think otherwise.
Isumo1489: I'm not sure if HIM is necessary anymore, Blossom can be quite thickheaded too. We'll see, but he'll definitely will be at the showdown.
Buttercup – Confessing her sins
When she woke up, the sun was already shining behind the drawn curtains. She had never been much of an early bird, but when she looked at the alarm clock, she saw that it was already far beyond breakfast time. She frowned. Why had nobody woken her up? But when she heard someone breathe next to her, Buttercup remembered what had happened the previous day. She looked at Bubbles.
She couldn't tell if her sister was still injured, but at least she was breathing steadily. The small wound on her forehead seemed to be already healed, and her face wasn't as pale as it had been after their fight with HIM. But the small drips of blood on the pillow and her dusty hair were still a clean proof for her defeat the day before. Perhaps the Professor had made breakfast, but right now Buttercup didn't feel very hungry anymore.
After her talk with the Professor the previous day she had been thinking about Bubbles' condition. It had worried her. The Powerpuff Girls had fought countless monsters and dangerous supervillains over the years, but hardly anyone had been able to even make them bleed. Sure, their fights against the Rowdyruff Dorks had always been rough, and once in a while some monster or Mojo had managed to spill some of their blood, but all HIM had done was ramming Bubbles' head against the wall ONCE! That shouldn't have been enough to take her out!
He said that her lack of power was because of her nightmare.
She couldn't help but wonder about this sentence. Had HIM told the Professor the truth? Had Bubbles been insecure because of some nightmare he had sent her? Had this been the reason why her powers had failed her? And – she shuddered – would she, Buttercup, have been weak too, if she hadn't been so furious because of what he had done to her sister? To tell the truth, she HAD felt quite uneasy after her own nightmare, especially around her sisters. She wasn't… sure if she would have been able to beat a powerful villain like HIM, if she had been the first one to fight him. Sure, she was more of a fighter than Bubbles was, but still… she hadn't been able to concentrate in school either. What if she had been distracted in her fight against the demon too? What if she had felt bad, worthless? Would she have lost her powers then?
Absent-mindedly she began stroking Bubbles' hair, looking at her sister, but lost in her own thoughts. Maybe the Professor is right, she thought gloomily. Maybe we must talk about our problems… about our sins. I mean, HIM already knows about our situation, and look what he was able to do. What if other villains get to know about our weakness too? What if one of us… gets really hurt, just because we feel bad around each other?
Still… it wasn't easy even to think about confessing to her sisters. She knew that SHE would feel betrayed and angry, if one of her sisters had scared away someone precious to her and had still pretended to be a loving sister. Who wouldn't? Her sisters were humans, well, mostly, but they weren't Jesus – why should they forgive such a betrayal of their trust? It would be only natural, if they hated her after her confession. And she knew for sure that feeling uneasy around her sisters might affect her powers… but being hated by her sisters would leave her devastated. She had promised the Professor to talk with Bubbles about it… but she wasn't sure if she had the guts.
Buttercup sighed. When had she become so weak? So… dependent on them? She was sure that in her childhood she would have been able to wait for their forgiveness. After all it was hard to stay mad at someone forever, especially if you were living in the same house. And the guys had been boyfriends, no husbands, for god's sake! So why was she so scared now? Why did this weak part of her think, that their anger wouldn't fade after a few months? She was Buttercup! Why wasn't she able to live without them anymore?
"What would your biker-friends think of you, if they knew that you're in bed with another girl? And stroking her hair?"
Buttercup blinked and looked down. Bubbles' eyes were open and she was smiling at her. Mischievously! Buttercup blinked again, and when she realized what her sister had said, her jaw dropped.
"Uuh… they… you…" A little anger flared up inside her. It was enough to collect her thoughts again. She immediately removed her hand from Bubbles' hair and sat up in bed. "Damn, Bubbles! How long have you been awake?"
"An hour or so" her sister replied and closed her eyes again, sighing. "The Professor came in a while ago and told me what happened yesterday." She opened her eyes again and looked at Buttercup shyly. "I took quite a beating, didn't I?"
Buttercup snorted, slowly gaining control again. Just a little small-talk, nothing big, nothing to be afraid of, she kept telling herself. "You can say that again! Hell, he attacked you only ONCE, and you were knocked out cold! I never knew you are THAT helpless!" She playfully nudged Bubbles on the shoulder. The girl winced slightly. Well, she had hardly ever been hurt so bad, maybe it was just a reflex. Buttercup hoped so.
"I didn't know either" Bubbles whispered, looking at her own knees. She looked so sulky, so… un-bubbly. "Who'd have thought that it just takes one nightmare to make me so… weak?" She smiled bitterly. "Even if I'm… the crybaby."
„Now come on" Buttercup said. She felt a little uneasy, but automatically tried to hide it behind roughness. She had seen Bubbles being frightened, she had seen her crying in pain and she had seen her being sad beyond words – many times it had been Buttercups own fault. But if there was one word that didn't fit to her sister at all, it was the word "depressed". Or so she had thought, because she couldn't describe this somber look in her sisters face in another way. Depression didn't fit to Bubbles' simple, emotional personality at all. "Just forget this stupid dream. HIM beat you, so what? Next time you'll pummel him again!"
"No." Bubbles hugged her knees and looked at the door. "This nightmare was important. It showed me what I have to do." She stared at the door for another second, but before Buttercup could get even more worried, Bubbles turned her head towards her and flashed her one of her radiant smiles. "By the way, the Professor told me that you nearly smashed HIM to pieces. He said that you went completely berserk after seeing HIM hurting me." She laid her hand on Buttercups. There was a soft look in her eyes. "Thank you, Buttercup."
"Bullsh… nonsense!" Buttercup corrected herself hastily. Bubbles' smile widened and Buttercup nearly blushed. "I knew he couldn't kill you with just one hit. I was just angry cause he had the nerve to attack us in our own house!"
"Sure" Bubbles agreed, still smiling. Why did Buttercup feel so foolish suddenly? Bubbles was surely strange today!
Tell her, an inner voice suddenly urged her. Get it over with! You promised the Professor you'd do it!
Not now, she rejected. All of her self-confidence left her at once. How could she have forgotten… what was still lying ahead of her? We should make sure first that she's well again. It could be too much for her right now.
Coward, the voice said. You're just too scared to tell her. How long are you willing to wait? Until HIM finally manages to kill her?
She stood up abruptly. "Looks like your head didn't crack" she said loudly, trying to silence the voice inside of her. "You think that you're able to get up and have some breakfast? I guess the Professor would want to see you too." She turned around and floated to the door. But right as she wanted to open it, Bubbles' voice stopped her.
"The Professor told me that HIM sent you a nightmare too."
Buttercup stopped dead in her tracks. She heard that Bubbles pushed the bedcovers away and slowly floated towards her, but she didn't dare to turn around.
"Buttercup" Bubbles' voice was gentle and soothing. "The Professor is right. We need to…"
"No!" she interrupted her sister harshly. Then she regained control of her vocal cords again. "Let's… wait a little bit with that. Until you're fully healed."
"Buttercup, we really should…"
"NO!"
It had been too much. Suddenly she had seen these images in her mind, images out of her nightmare, images of Bubbles and Blossom staring at her with pure hate in their eyes. It had just been a reflex. When Bubbles had touched her shoulder, she had grabbed the hand and had pushed Bubbles against her bed forcefully. Bubbles cried out when her wrist collided with the bed… the wrist where HIM had grabbed her. It was this sound that made Buttercup crack. She fled from Bubbles' room into her own, locked the door and fell into her bed.
Stupid! She was so stupid! All she could do, all she ever did was hurting Bubbles! She clenched her teeth to hold back the angry tears. Well done! Really well done! First she had promised the Professor to talk with Bubbles, then her sister even offered her to speak with her, and she had nothing better to do than hurting her. And now she couldn't go back again. Before this it had been possible to talk. Bubbles had been composed and determined to talk about their nightmares – strange enough, this was childish Bubbles after all. They could have started slowly, could have rebuilt their mutual trust bit by bit, but now… How could she tell Bubbles that she hadn't wanted to hurt her, that she had been… afraid? She wouldn't believe her. How could Buttercup be afraid? And even if she did believe her… that would only drive them apart even more. After all Bubbles would see then, that Buttercup wasn't tough anymore. She'd see that Buttercup had been acting. Lying.
"Buttercup?" she heard Bubbles' muffled voice through the door. "Are you in there?"
She groaned and closed her eyes. "Go away, Bubbles" she shouted. "I don't feel like talking to you right now." I don't want to hurt you anymore.
"Buttercup, open this door!" Bubbles told her. She sounded quite determined. "Or I'll open it for you!"
"Hah!" Buttercup snorted. "You wouldn't dare!"
In the next moment she heard something crack. Surprised she looked up – and her eyes widened. Bubbles, cute little Bubbles, had broken her door open and was looking at her. Buttercup couldn't quite identify what kind of look it was, but somehow she knew that this was no crybaby entering her room. But even if Bubbles had shocked her quite a bit, she got angry. The Hell…?"
"Bubbles!" she snarled. „What…?"
„Shut up!" Bubbles interrupted her, closed the door and sat down next to her. Her gaze drilled into Buttercups, silencing her. She had never seen Bubbles look at anyone that way, not even a villain! In this moment Buttercup was sure, that this gaze contained enough willpower to defeat even death! And this moment was enough for Bubbles. "You will do nothing but listen to me" she told Buttercup with a calm voice. "You won't leave and you won't interrupt me. When I'm finished, you may tell me to leave, but until then you will listen to what I have to tell you. Understood?"
Buttercup could only stare at her. That couldn't be Bubbles! This wasn't the girl that still needed to be comforted, when Buttercup hurt her! She, Buttercup, was the one intimidating people! Bubbles was the meek, childish Powerpuff! Or so she had thought.
Bubbles sighed and lowered her head. That might have been the moment for Buttercup to regain control of the situation, but the next words of her sister caught her completely off guard. "Buttercup… I hope that you can forgive me."
Buttercup blinked. "Huh?" she asked. SHE… forgiving BUBBLES? Had she travelled into another dimension when she had entered her room?
"I guess I should tell you about my dream first" Bubbles continued. Now she seemed to get a little nervous, a little more like the Bubbles Buttercup knew, but she was still looking so… mature. And Buttercup herself… "Cause you need to know my greatest fear, before I tell you what I've done." She smiled sadly. "Maybe then… you'll be able to forgive me."
Forgive her? What was she talking about? What had she done wrong? Questions were blossoming inside her mind like flowers in spring. With a little more time she might have been able to mow this lawn of confusion, but Bubbles was already talking again.
"In my dream… my nightmare… I saw you and Blossom. You were fighting." Now Bubbles' self-consciousness seemed to melt away and her gaze became distant. She seemed to remember something painful. Nevertheless her voice was still clear. "I mean… really fighting. You had already devastated our house, and you were injured quite a bit. And you were calling each other 'bitch' and 'slut' and… and the Professor told you to leave us and never come back again and…" Bubbles looked at her. Her eyes were getting wet, but she was obviously forcing herself not to cry. "And you said that you never wanted to be part of our family anyway."
If she hadn't been so stunned, Buttercup would have laughed. Bubbles obviously didn't know anything about her!
"I tried to stop you" Bubbles continued, getting a grip on herself again. "But then you told me, that it was my fault you were hating each other. Because I cried so often after your fights. And because you hated yourself and each other, since it was your fighting making me cry."
"But… I never hated Blossom…" Buttercup told her, her voice being scratchy. She tried to sit up, but Bubbles gently pressed her down again. A sad smile played on her lips.
"Yes" she muttered. "I think I always knew that. But this is my greatest fear, you know. It's some kind of… competition, isn't it? You and Blossom… you need each other, don't you? As worthy enemies. You didn't actually want to hurt her, did you? You just liked the… thrill."
Buttercup was speechless. Was this really her naïve little sister? Of course, Bubbles had told them that she wanted to study psychology, yet Buttercup had always thought this was some kind of joke. Well, her analysis wasn't absolutely correct. Bubbles didn't know that Buttercup had been fighting Blossom mainly for not being forgotten. But she was right, Buttercup had enjoyed their verbal disputes. She hadn't fought Blossom to hurt her.
Bubbles seemed to take her silence as a "yes". "I thought so" she said. "But you know… I just couldn't get rid of the feeling that one day… one of you two would really hurt the other one. And I guess I…" She swallowed. "I just didn't want to lose any of you that way. So I… started acting."
Now Buttercup was really confused. Acting?
Bubbles screwed her mouth. "This is… hard to describe. I guess you've noticed today that I'm… not a dumb crybaby anymore."
If there hadn't been this confusing fog inside of her mind, Buttercup would have laughed. Noticed? Bubbles had been acting strange all day! First she had been acting all composed and mature in her room, then after Buttercups attack she had followed her instead of crying, then she had broken the freakin' door open, she had analyzed Buttercups thoughts, and now she asked Buttercup if she had noticed all these things?
Bubbles smiled at her sisters confused face for a second, then she became serious again. "I guess you have. I'm grown-up, sister. I have been for years. But I knew you wouldn't listen to me, if I begged you to stop fighting. So I… acted like a child in front of you and Blossom… to…" She looked away. Her voice had become faint. "To make you feel guilty."
"You… you did WHAT?"
Buttercup was still confused, and she did still know that she had done worse things to her sisters, but as anger flared up inside of her, she welcomed it. Anger was a feeling she could understand, she could deal with, and it drove her confusion away. Bubbles had… lied to her? For years?
"Buttercup, please" Bubbles tried to calm her down nervously. "I just did it because I wanted to stop you from hurting each other…"
"You… you played with me?" Buttercup growled and pushed her sisters hands away. Deep inside she knew that she was unfair, that she could understand what Bubbles had done, but it still felt like betrayal to her. "Every time I came to you, every time I opened my soul to you, you… you just shed some crocodile tears and PRETENDED to be sad?"
"No!" Now there were real tears in Bubbles' eyes again. She considered herself mature, but she was still an emotional being – and hearing such accusations from her own sister was more than she could take. "Please, Buttercup! I was sad, really…"
"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Buttercup yelled and pinned her sister down on the bed. Bubbles looked at her fearfully. "To think I even felt bad because of you" Buttercup growled. She couldn't think clearly, there was only red heat in her head. Her eyes were wet of hot, angry tears. "All these times when I started a fight with Blossom just to be able to talk to you… to show my vulnerable side to someone who wouldn't hurt me… ALL THESE TIMES YOU WERE JUST SIMULATING?"
"N-no" Bubbles whimpered. She tried to free herself, but Buttercup was too strong for her. "Please, Buttercup, you're hurting me…"
"I felt like shit!" Buttercup breathed, not listening to Bubbles' pleas. There was still anger in her gaze, but even more disbelief. Disbelief that her own sister had been able to betray her feelings like that. "Every time I hurt you, I hated myself! Every time I scared one of your boyfriends away, I wanted to die! And you were just… pretending? You didn't need me at all?"
"M-my boyfriends?"
Buttercups mind returned. Bubbles was pale. She was looking at Buttercup like she was a ghost. Just then the black-haired girl remembered what she had said. "Oh no!" she cried out, jumped away from Bubbles, curled into a fetal position and hid her face behind her knees. Damn! How could she have been so stupid? Why couldn't she just stay calm and work things out like civilized people? But noooo, she had to get angry and spill everything without any explanation why she had done these things…
"Buttercup?"
Bubbles' voice was meek again But right now Buttercup wasn't very eager to hear it. "Go away" she mumbled.
"Buttercup…"
Her anger towards herself made her snap again. She raised her head abruptly and looked at her pale sister with angry tears in her eyes. "Damn, what do you wanna hear from me? Yes, I scared the shit out of every single one of your boyfriends! And Blossoms too! Yes, I didn't want you to spend so much time with someone else! Yes, I started fights with Blossom on purpose! And yes, I did all that to make you sad, so I could comfort you afterwards! I'm a sick freak! So will you just say it and LEAVE ALREADY?"
Bubbles was looking at her frightened. "S-say what?" she asked, her eyes full of tears too.
Buttercup took a deep breath and hid her head behind her knees again. "Will you just tell me that you hate me and LEAVE ME ALONE?" she said angrily. "PLEASE!"
For some incredibly long seconds she didn't hear anything but her own heavy breathing and the occasional sniff from Bubbles. She was already thinking she'd explode from frustration, as Bubbles finally began to talk again.
"You didn't want us to leave you, did you?" she asked quietly. "You didn't want to be alone."
Buttercup clenched her teeth. She knew that if she said something now, she'd not be able to stop the flood of tears anymore.
"Like I… didn't want you and Blossom to hurt each other" Bubbles continued. "Hurt each other so much that it would break our family apart."
"Say it, dammit!" Buttercup finally cried, her voice cracking. She didn't dare to look up. She flinched when she felt Bubbles embracing her. "Why… why can't you just hate me?" she whimpered as she felt Bubbles' chin on her shoulder. "Why…"
"Later" Bubbles whispered, her own tears wetting Buttercups T-shirt. "We can hate each other later, Buttercup. But before that… we have to forgive ourselves."
Buttercup broke. She let her knees go, turned around and buried her face in Bubbles' shoulder. Bubbles embraced her again, her own tears running down Buttercups neck. Buttercup didn't know how long they were holding each other. She knew she wouldn't even have cared if a villain had attacked the city right now. That didn't matter. Nothing did matter. Except washing away all this pain inside of her. She was shocked when she finally realized how much pain it was. She had suppressed it, but it had always been there, burning inside of her. It was so… relieving to let it go. There would still be much pain left, much to work out later, but right now she was enjoying a feeling she hardly ever had felt: letting herself go completely.
The tears had finally stopped, but they were still holding each other, when she heard a cold voice behind her.
"Now, isn't that nice?"
She looked around and she knew that Bubbles had done the same, because she was the one asking: "Blossom?"
Their sister looked quite angry, but in her own, special way. She had never been the one to flaunt her anger like Bubbles or Buttercup herself, she was hiding it inside of her, waiting for the best moment to show it. But everyone could see this emotion in her clenched fist, her stern face and her icy eyes, which were staring at her sisters like cold laser-beams.
"Oh, don't get up" Blossom told them, sarcasm dripping out of every word. "I wouldn't want to interrupt something private!" With that she shut the door with a bang.
Buttercup looked at her blond sister, confused. "What was that about?" she asked, her voice still a bit sore.
"I don't know" Bubbles said. She looked insecure too. "Why is she so… angry?"
Is it just me or can't I write just one chapter without the girls hugging/kissing each other anymore? I guess I need a girlfriend.
If you want to read a more believable Bubbles/Buttercup-relationship, read Uniliteration's "Unconditional" - I think it's the best PPG-fanfic I've ever seen. Except for the sequel.
