Soon after the sun was up, Éomer and Lothiriel rode along the way leading them back to Helm's Deep. Éomer had caught little sleep if any at all, and Lothíriel had awoken a couple of times in the dark hours of the night. Once to make sure the fire was burning, and had seem to find it fully lit, as if she had forgotten she was no longer alone. Éomer had sat against the wall, pretending to be sleeping, he did not want her to concern herself. The other time she had snuck out through the door, that had peaked Éomer's attention. He had been ready to go after her, though she had not touched her belongings and he heard no sound of the horses. Soon she had returned and settled back into her sleep. Then Éomer was glad he had not stormed out. The awkwardness of finding her in a position of relieving herself was something he could live without.
Éomer had decided to take a different path this day. He wanted to spare Lothíriel from the curious eyes of the miller's wife. Though she had been a lovely lady, he had no time nor patience this day. They found a stream that purled through the woods and decided to pause to let the horses drink and rest. Lothíriel brought out some of the waybread she carried in her saddlebag. Éomer spread his cloak onto the dampened ground for them to sit on.
'I want to ask your forgiveness.' Lothíriel said while breaking a piece of the bread in her hand. 'I should not have done.. what I did.'
'You need not worry.' said Éomer and that earned him a faint smile.
'I should have come to you.'
'Yes.' he said while raising his eyebrows. 'That you could have.'
She snorted softly.
'I would have, had I known.' she said and Éomer knew what she said was true. He had done nothing to make her feel like she could turn to him. 'Except being the father of the child.' he thought dryly.
'There are many things we both could have and would have done differently, no more apologies. We will get through this.' he said but her lack of response made him doubt she agreed. A voice in the back of his mind told him it was the former part of his statement rather than the latter that earned her silence.
They finished eating in silence while watching the horses gobble grass as if it was the first time they ever tasted it.
'But you came for me.' she said at length and there was something pleading in the way she said it. He hesitated for a moment. He had told her why, but now it became obvious what she asked for.
He forced a smile and placed a hand on her shoulder,
'Of course I came. You had me worried. Orcs and hills men and whatever other darkness is lurking out there. Do you think I would rest easy knowing you would face it alone?' He felt her shoulder relax under his hand and she did not manage to conceal the smile that spread over her lips.
'Now, let us continue. We still have some hours in the saddle before we will reach Helm's Deep' Éomer said and helped her to her feet.
The horses slowly carried them along the foothills of the mountains. It was a beautiful and clear day. Though Éomer seldom covered ground in such a slow fashion, he found he enjoyed it. His enjoyment enhanced by Lothíriel's constant and soft singing. She seemed oblivious to the fact that she had been singing for an hour straight. It brought him back to his room in Minas Tirith. There he had listen to her humming in quite a similar fashion while recovering from his injuries. Now, like then, he knew not what she sang about. He was no scholar in Sindarin, neither was she singing clearly enough for him to make out the words.
'What are you singing about?' he asked.
'Oh,' she stopped in an instant. 'Oh nothing just an old song my nurse maid used to sing to me when I was a little girl.' she seemed almost bothered.
'Please, go on.' he said.
'No, no I do not need to bother you. Hear the birds tripping. I should leave it to them to sing to us.'
'You do know that I have been listening to you since we got back in the saddle?'
She sighed, then laughed.
'I cannot help it. My brother's are always telling me that I cannot stay silent for more than a few moments.' she smiled at the thought of her older brothers. 'It's just something I do, I guess. I don't even notice it.'
'It must be a wonderful thing.' Éomer said. 'Having your life be accompanied by music that way. I assume your head is always full of it, since you cannot stop it from escaping.' he smiled and she laughed back at him.
'Well I guess you are right. I never thought of it that way. Some have said that it is a sign of a scattered mind but I never agreed with that. It does not cause my thoughts to scatter, it is just.. there.'
'Well, southern songbird. Know that I do not mind it at all. I enjoy it now as I enjoyed it in Minas Tirith.'
Her smile was full of warmth when she looked at him but she remained silent, for a short while..
They reached Helm's Deep at the break of eve and they must have been spotted because Éothain rode out to meet them.
'Éomer King,' he said inclining his head from horseback as he rode up next to them. 'My lady.'
Lothíriel slouched in her saddle, bothered by Éothain's lingering gaze.
'We will stay for the night.' Éomer said to his fellow man. 'Would you bring word to Erkenbrand?'
'All is settled, my King. There are accommodations prepared for the Lady Princess, I figure she would prefer.. privacy.' he said. Lothíriel stared straight ahead and did not grace him with a reaction.
'Aye. Ride ahead and notify Erkenbrand that I shall see him shortly. I will make sure the Lady Princess is comfortable and wash up but I want his reports before night. We ride for Edoras once the sun is up.'
And with only a nod, Éothain pushed his horse to a gallop and climbed the causeway before disappearing in through the gate.
'What will they think of me?' Lothíriel said, her voice barely carrying over the steady thumps of the horses' hooves. 'I have hardly proven myself a Lady..'
'You are in Gondor no more, princess. You have yet to match your northern sisters. Trust me Lothiriel, these men are used to the women of Rohan. Perhaps I need to remind you of a certain lady, who defied direct orders from her king and joined a battle? If they talk, it will soon blow over. And if they do, they will not dare to do so in my presence. But worry not, I will escort you straight to your chambers and have supper brought to you. You need not face them tonight.'
'Thank you.' she said.
After he had made sure she was comfortable and once he had received Erkenbrand's reports from Westemnet, Éomer sat in his own chambers. He needed to send word to Lord Elrond, soon the full moon would arrive and he wished to be the one to first speak to Imrahil. The parchment in front of him still lay blank however. He knew not how to begin. How would he explain himself to the elf? There was a soft knock on his door and he rose to answer it. Outside stood Lothíriel. Her robe tied neatly around her and the hem of her shift peeking out over her slipper clad feet. Her loose hair cascaded over her shoulders.
'I'm sorry to bother you at this hour.' she said. 'May I come in?'
Éomer peaked over her shoulder out in the dim lit hallway. He then remembered that they were indeed not in Gondor anymore. People here may gossip, but not disapprove to the same extent. Still, to Éomer's relief, the hallway lay empty.
'Of course, come in.' he said and opened the door wider for her.
'What can I do for you?' he said and closed the door.
'I assume you will have to notify my father, and perhaps Lord Elrond, about me being back with you? Tell me, have you already?'
Éomer eyed the parchment on the table.
'No, not yet.' he said.
'Would you mind if I do?' she said. 'I feel like I owe Elrond my deepest apologies. I would like to offer it to him.'
'No, of course not.' said Éomer and gestured her towards the table. 'I was about to send word, here,' he pulled out the chair. 'Please sit.'
He watched as she dipped the quill in ink and started writing. Her hand was as flowing as that of the elf-lord.
'My dear Lord Elrond...' she began but paused.
'How much may I tell him?' she asked while still looking at the parchment. Éomer stepped away, realizing that the letter was of a personal nature.
'Say whatever you need to say. Lord Elrond will honor you, but depending on what you convey, perhaps it would be wise to also notify him that your father is not yet involved?'
She smiled.
'Of course.'
While she wrote, Éomer busied himself with his saddle bags. He wished to be prepared for an early start the next morning. He made sure he packed the few things Erkenbrand had sent with him. Right when he tightened the buckle Lothíriel rose from her seat. She walked over and handed him the folded letter.
'There.' she said. 'Whether he will forgive me or not, at least I have tried.'
Éomer took the letter and placed it too atop his belongings, he would see to it before he laid down to sleep. There was silence between them, yet Lothíriel lingered.
'Are you feeling well?' Éomer said.
'I feel much better now, thank you. The girl that helped me told me you had asked her to draw me a bath?'
'I thought you would like it.'
She smiled.
'I did, it was marvelous to wash that travel dirt off my skin.'
'And how are you feeling..' he trailed off, uncertain of what to say and instead gestured towards her belly like a half-witted fool. A flicker of sadness passed in her eyes.
'May I tell you the truth?'
'Of course.'
'I am scared, Éomer. I am scared about everything that is happening. My body is changing. Everything is changing and I know not what to do. I did not wish for any of this and I.. I miss home. I miss my father, my brothers..' tears welled up in her eyes.
He brought her into his arms and rested his chin upon her head.
'You are not alone Lothíriel. I am here.'
She answered him with a soft sob and he stroke her hair to comfort her. Éomer did his best to calm her, yet he felt pretty alone himself. Though he had brought it upon himself. This girl was far away from home, in the arms of a man she barely knew, in a land much different from her home. And she was carrying a child, how could he try to understand how she was feeling? 'Éowyn!' the thought flew through his mind. He would send for Éowyn, she had just birthed a child herself and the Valar knew he needed her by his side just as bad, if not more. As soon as the thought of childbirth had entered his mind, he pushed it away with all his might. Lothíriel did not need him to dwell on his own worry right now. She inched away from him and wiped her cheeks dry.
'I.. I just can't seem to keep my tears at bay as of late.' she attempted a careful smile which he was quick to reciprocate.
'Here,' she said and took hold of his hand. She opened her robe just enough to let his hand in and placed it on her belly. There was a definite bulge there, to Éomer's surprise. He had not noticed anything through her dress but he now clearly felt the roundness. With her hand still resting on his she looked up at him. Sadness had changed to beaming happiness in her eyes.
'It is your heir Éomer.' she said. He could not get himself to move his hand and he stared at her when, to his great surprise, tears started welling up in his eyes as well. He removed his hand and once again brought Lothíriel into his arms. He held her tightly and she nestled her arms around him.
'My heir will come.' he thought. 'But Aema it should have been you. I am sorry my love, I am sorry.'
He could not stop a few tears from escaping and was relieved to see that Lothíriel mistook them for happiness. She carried his heir, yet he could not forget about the first time he had found out he was going to be a father. Earenwyn was the product of his love for Aema. He had been beyond happy, he had felt as if he would burst out of love. Even now, with all that had happened, his daughter still personified that happiness and he did not think it possible to love another the way he loved her.
Yet in his arms he now held a women he barely knew. The child she carried was created in a shameful and short moment. 'I will love this child.' he told himself. 'I simply need time.' He found comfort in the fact that he still had some months to get used to this new situation.
