Chapter 7: The Long Flight Home.
Jane was beginning to regret taking the plane home instead of Mjolner. Turning around, she made a face at Wanda, who was sitting directly behind her. "Will you shut– please be quiet!" Jane hissed. She got a pitying glance from Pietro, who was sitting next to Wanda, but no answer from his twin. Wanda was singing, at the top of her very large lungs, "VE ARE ZE GRAPES. OF WRATH. VE NEVER TAKE A BATH! IT EEZ OUR STYLE TO ZELDOM ZMILE AND NE. VER. LAUGH. WE ARE ZE– " Having had enough, Jane grabbed her in-flight pillow and stuffed into Wanda's mouth. Laughing at Wanda's comical expression, she turned back around and snuggled down into her seat next to Thor, satisfied.
Farther up the plane, Bruce and Tony were having a looooong science conversation that sounded more Swahili than American. Laura was sitting behind them. Laura had taken her straw, and was blowing on the backs of Tony and Bruce's necks with it, to see how long she could keep it up before one of them snapped. Clint was videotaping with Steve's old camcorder.
Across the aisle, Steve was watching a 1940s war movie with Pepper. She was the only person that he could grab before they all ran away screaming. Pepper sat there silently, bored out of her mind.
Natasha and Vision were awkwardly making small talk a couple rows ahead of Steve and Pepper. Vision was sitting by the window, and Natasha was in the isle seat.
"So...How do you get the William Tell Overture to play like that?" Natasha questioned.
"I don't..." Vision said mysteriously. "Now, you must excuse me..." Vision stood, walked through Natasha's legs and into the aisle, and strode off toward the back of the plane, leaving Natasha to wonder.
"Aha." Natasha made a strangled little noise. Leaning over, she stuck her head out into the aisle to yell at Tony. "Are we there yet?"
Tony checked some funky technological thing and replied, "We are somewhere over Iowa right now, so, whatever that means!"
"Thanks, Tony." Natasha grumbled sarcastically. Suddenly, she spied Pepper making desperate "Save me!" hand motions and pointing to Steve, who had turned off the movie and was lecturing about the lack of clothing-decency in female minors nowadays. Natasha pulled out her phone to text her when weird noises started emanating from the back end of the plane. "Wha...?" Natasha climbed up on her seat and looked back. She gasped.
In the aisle, Thor and Wanda were having a no holds barred wrestling match, with Vision trying futilely to break them apart. Jumping to her feet, Natasha ran back to them. Wrenching out her pistol, she fired a few rounds of blanks at the ceiling. The fighters ceased their pummeling, caught in humourous poses as if Natasha had pressed the pause button. Thor was holding Wanda in the air by her throat with one hand, getting ready to punch her with the other. Wanda had one foot in Thor's mouth, and her hands were glowing ominously. Vision had his left hand on Thor's chest and was grabbing Wanda's jacket by the right.
"What the heck?!" Natasha shouted.
"Well, lady Natasha, this...woman," Thor spat. "This woman assaulted my lady Jane! She attempted to murder her!" Natasha raised her meticulously dyed eyebrows.
"Urkle," said Wanda, who was having trouble breathing through Thor's large hand.
"Actually," Jane corrected from her hiding spot behind Pietro. Pietro had valiantly dove to protect her when Wanda started glowing. "Wanda was singing a Veggietales song really loudly, so I stuffed a pillow in her mouth. Then Wanda tried to strangle me with telekinesis, which made Thor kinda mad, so..."
Natasha took a deep breath. "Ok. Thor? Put Wanda down. Vision, get your hands out of Thor's chest. Pietro, you can get off of Jane now." Taking charge, Natasha ordered everyone into their seats. Making sure that they were calm, Natasha stalked back up to the front of the plane. "It's gonna be a long flight," she sighed as she sat back into her seat.
