Chapter 7: Of Monkeys and Wrenches
Several days have passed since the summer vacation was over and it was the beginning of another school term for the Happiness Charge Pretty Cure team. Besides that, the girls have also begun to prepare for their school's upcoming Culture Festival.
Something felt off and has been bugging me since the day Phantom invaded Pikarigaoka, but I couldn't lay a finger on the specifics and it has been eating at me for an unhealthy amount of time, causing me to lose focus even while I was working at Omori Gohan. I nervously glanced over my shoulder to look out for Marie, out of habit, only to remember that she was no longer there. She had quit her job several days earlier and must probably be out and about, on some nefarious task or other. I haven't been able to check on any of the three girl outsiders nor seen the mysterious stalker recently, and that just made me worry more. I have been slacking and I knew it.
After work, I decided to spend some time at the park to clear my mind and think things through. I was going nowhere fast, while my enemies continued to plot. For all I know, they might have already been executing their master plan, and I would be the last to hear of it. However, I had no answers. Only more questions, and more doubts. I ruffled my hair in my hands, frustrated at my inability to do anything.
"Are you ready for what's to come?"
I nearly fell off the bench. Marisu was sitting beside me, giving me a kind of look that I didn't have time to decipher before I quickly averted my gaze to resume my hobby of feet-staring and grass counting.
"What's coming?" I asked, continuing to avoid eye contact.
I could hear a deep sigh from the girl beside me. She must have been frustrated for reasons I could not comprehend.
"If you're going to be this useless again, I guess I have to do everything on my own. Again."
She got up to leave, but out of some instinctive reaction I grabbed on to her sleeve again. "Wait!"
"What?" She tugged away with her hand, but not hard enough to dislodge my grasp as if she wasn't even really trying.
"You know a lot more than you are letting on. But you are being very tight-lipped about it. Why?"
This time she averted her gaze and stared out into the open space across the river. "Let go of me."
I relaxed my fingers a bit. "Why?"
She did not answer for a long time. She was staring into the sky, observing something up there in the wild, blue yonder. I tried to look but did not see anything out of ordinary.
"What is it?"
"He's early today." She reached into her pocket, pulling out the PreChanMirror and preparing to transform. "You stay put and don't do anything stupid again."
Before I could ask any further, she had leapt skyward. Despite her warning, I still needed answers so curiosity as well as pride got the better of me. I took note of where she was heading and then made up my mind to go there myself the old fashioned way – with legs.
It doesn't take much effort to track down a Pretty Cure in battle. Just follow the sounds of crashes and explosions, and go in the opposite direction of the fleeing crowd and you're most likely to be on the right path. Like a moth drawn towards the light, I simply had to witness the battle in hopes of answering the many questions that I still lingered. I would occasionally see figures darting across the sky, but they moved so fast while I was too focused on the path ahead to recognise any of them. Soon, I came to a grassy clearing where the battle was taking place, and what I saw made me screech to a halt.
The four main Cures Lovely, Princess, Honey and Fortune, together with Cure Crimson, were battling another female Cure. She was clad in red and black, looking almost like a mirror image of a darker Cure Lovely. If I wasn't so well-versed in this particular story, I would have been caught off guard by this spectacle, but I fully knew who they were fighting. This was a person who had the power to harness the very shadow of an opponent, turning their darkest selves against them. This was Phantom, the Precure Hunter, who had stolen Cure Lovely's shadow to transform himself into Cure Unlovely.
At that moment, I finally realised what was so wrong about everything up until now. That uncomfortable thing that had been nagging at me at the back of my mind all this while, that also related to the timeline being completely off, all boiled down to one single fact – the Precures aren't in peak form at all. Because of all the anomalies and deviations that have occurred, the four Cures have yet to obtain their next power up, the Happiness Big Bang. Without this special move, they shouldn't – or should I say wouldn't – be able to defeat Unlovely in their current state.
A nearby crash shook me out of my thoughts. Cure Princess had taken a hit and cratered the ground a short distance away. I ran up to her. "Are you alright?"
"Get back!" Princess yelled, holding out a hand at me. Phantom – or rather, Unlovely – was diving towards us like an eagle about to snatch its prey. I wanted to leap back, but at the same time my conscience demanded that I do not leave Cure Princess. Trapped in between a moment of indecision, I helplessly watched as Unlovely sped towards the both of us at breakneck speed. And then Cure Lovely slammed her shoulder into Unlovely, sending her tumbling away.
Cure Honey landed right beside me. "You should get to safety while you can."
"Honey is right," Cure Fortune said as she landed in front of me, holding out her hand in my direction while maintaining her gaze on the enemy. "It's too dangerous for you to be here."
I felt the burning gaze of Cure Crimson upon me from above; looking up at her just served to confirm my feelings. She was definitely mad at me for disobeying her order, and I've got no excuse for her. But she wasn't about to come down and admonish me. Instead, everyone immediately tensed up, raising their hands and slightly bending their knees in a defensive posture as Unlovely picked herself up and looked about menacingly, searching for the one who had struck her. Honey and Fortune immediately moved towards Cure Lovely; seeing this, Unlovely scanned her surroundings again and this time locked her sights on Cure Crimson above.
Ignoring the ongoing clash, I ran back towards the buildings, ducking behind some overturned carts. I continued to watch the battle unfold from behind cover. My eyes were all on Cure Crimson. On how she fought, how she anticipated Unlovely's attacks, and how she reacted. I needed to get a read on her if I was to judge her true agenda.
Crimson's attacks were very cautious and calculative. She would hold back, waiting for the other Cures to commence their attack. Even then, she would lurk by the sidelines, then dashing in to strike when an opening presented itself. She was like a textbook rogue class utilizing surprise and attacks of opportunity to the fullest. Despite this, Unlovely still presented a very formidable defence which never failed to repel Crimson's underhanded tactics. This played out like a covert cat and mouse game, while a more overt and brutal fight went on with the other four Cures.
The battle quickly took to the skies again, where Unlovely seemed to move quicker and react more fluidly up there while the rest of the girls struggled to keep up with their opponent's fast and unpredictable motions. Unlovely would duck aside from an attack and quickly recover to deliver a devastating response before her opponent could react. Lovely and Fortune, considered to be the more close combat-oriented girls of the group, were sent plummeting while Princess and Honey encircled their prey from the sidelines and tried to provide ranged support.
A barrage of magical bullets saturated the sky, courtesy of Princess' Bullet Machine Gun. Rather than dodging, Unlovely simply held out her hand and stopped whatever stray bolts came her way. Honey took advantage of this to lasso Unlovely's outstretched hand with magical ribbons, an attack christened Honey Ribbon Spiral. The tactic appeared to work and Honey proceeded to reel her opponent in, but Unlovely smirked at Honey's attempts and tugged back at the magical binds. In a short and brutally one-sided tug-of-war between the two girls, Unlovely unceremoniously turned Honey's attack against herself, slinging her towards the ground.
Before Unlovely had completed her slingshot manoeuvre on Honey, however, Crimson sped towards Unlovely with an outstretched fist. The blow struck below Unlovely's midsection, causing her to double over as she hurtled backwards from the momentum. Crimson continued pressing forward, throwing punches and kicks like a well-rehearsed kata. If this were a Street Fighter match, Crimson was probably cheating and taking advantage of an exploit to deliver an infinite hit combo on her opponent.
After one final roundhouse kick in mid-air, Unlovely was sent smashing onto the pavement, cratering it and the surrounding road in the process. By then, Lovely, Fortune and Honey had already recovered and made their way to the smoking crater while Hime continued circling it from above. Crimson, however, did not bother to wait and dive-bombed towards the crater with an extended and clenched fist at supersonic speeds. The resulting sonic boom could only be heard after she had hit the ground, causing yet another explosion that threw up a massive cloud of dust and debris.
Before the dust cloud had cleared away, I threw caution to the wind and rushed over to the crater. Fortune noticed my approach and held out her hand, cautioning me to be careful. I slowed down and kept my distance, but still remained close enough to observe the situation unfold.
Crimson was on top of Unlovely, barely managing to pin her opponent down. They were struggling for something; Fortune quickly leapt in and gave a swift kick, sending a sword spinning harmlessly into the air. Lovely and Honey then proceeded to help restrain their opponent while Hime began to descend slowly.
Convinced that the coast was now clear, I crept forward and peered into the crater. Crimson and Fortune were holding their opponent down. It was no longer Cure Unlovely – she had reverted to Phantom again. Lovely and Honey were standing over the three of them, still in combat-ready stance. Phantom glared at everyone, still attempting to struggle.
"Give it up already," Crimson commanded as she struggled to keep him from moving. "You've lost. Now go run back and cry to your precious Mirage."
"How dare you speak of her in this manner!" Phantom raged like a wild beast.
"Phantom!" Fortune addressed him with a stern voice. "Where is my sister, Cure Tender?"
"You'll never see her again!" Phantom continued to be as defiant as ever.
Unperturbed by his response, Fortune pressed down on Phantom's chest and repeated herself. "Where is Cure Tender?"
"Let me go and I'll send you all to her – at the Precure Graveyard!" His eyes locked with Fortune as they both stared each other down with hateful gazes.
"You're a monster!" Fortune was clearly losing it as she raised her fist at Phantom.
"Fortune, he isn't going to talk!" Crimson interrupted. "Phantom's no use to you. If you want your sister back, you'll have to go after Queen Mirage."
Fortune stared at Crimson, her brows still narrowed in fury. Lovely and Honey both knelt down and laid a hand each of Fortune's shoulders. "She's right, Fortune," Honey said. "Throwing your anger at Phantom will not get your sister back."
Eventually, Fortune relented. Crimson grabbed Phantom by the collar and pulled him close. It seemed like it was her turn now.
"Phantom, what do you know about the monolith?"
My eyebrows twitched curiously. I've not heard that term before. What was Crimson after?
"I don't know what you're talking about," Phantom answered, his gaze now locked onto Crimson's.
I took a step forward. "Crimson, what is this monolith?"
"You should know," she replied without breaking her gaze. "After all-"
"Release Phantom at once!" a voice boomed overhead. We all looked up and saw the visage of a yellow-haired girl in a dark, tuxedo-like dress. She held a staff in one hand, topped in the shape of a crescent moon with a purple gem hovering between the two points of the moon. This was Queen Mirage herself, staring down on all of us through a large mirror that served as an inter-dimensional communications medium. She was still sitting at her throne, probably in the Blue Sky Kingdom, brandishing her staff towards us in a threatening manner.
Dark energies began to swirl around her staff. We scrambled to our feet as soon as we realised her intentions. What happened next, however, was a blur. Mirage unleashed a wave of dark energies in our direction, but Blue appeared out of nowhere, and without warning we found ourselves back in the living room of The Embassy. It took a while for it to click that Blue had in fact come to rescue us and teleported everyone out of harm's way. In any case, Cure Crimson had given us the slip again, for she was gone by the time everyone had recovered from the shock and panic.
I slumped over onto the closest sofa and gathered my thoughts. While the conclusion seemed like a victory, I couldn't help but wonder how badly the timeline had deviated. The way things were going, I worried if the four main Cures would be strong enough for the eventual endgame scenario.
I also noted the absence of both Marie and Miss Sugimoto throughout the entire ordeal. Curious.
While everyone else was recuperating, I decided to go out and take a walk. I wanted to back to the riverside and think about what Crimson had asked Phantom, before we were interrupted. The sight of the serene river flowing through the city seemed to have a calming effect on me, so I thought that would be the best place to be.
I had barely sat down for five minutes when Iona showed up and took a seat beside me. "Marisu seems to know you." She had an accusing look on her face.
"It seems so," I muttered. "But I don't know anything about her." After a brief pause, I decided to add, "Is this the reason you are here?"
"To be blunt, yes." She crossed her arms and continued to look at me accusingly. "In fact, I'd go as far as say that the two of you are working together. Towards what goals I cannot say but this only serves to cast the shadow of doubt on you."
"I see. Well, you probably have every right to be suspicious. She has approached me casually a few times, acting as if we have something going on between us and that I have somehow absconded from a deal I don't remember making. As least that's the impression that I have gotten from the few interactions that I've had with her. I still don't know what her deal is, but I assure you that I am not actively 'working with her' as you say."
Iona seemed to be satisfied with my answer for the moment as she relaxed herself and slumped onto the bench to relax. "That was quite a fight, and I'm still not any closer to freeing my sister."
"Don't worry. You'll see her again eventually."
We both stared out at the river for a long time and watched the children and their family play alongside it in the park. It was as if the previous battle never even happened; everyone was still as carefree as ever, going about their daily lives despite a worldwide invasion from another dimension. I felt the serenity and the innocence of the situation a little comforting, after everything that had happened today.
"I don't know what to say, but at least I can acknowledge that you're not the enemy," Iona finally said before getting up on her feet. "We should hurry home. Yuuko's preparing dinner again tonight." Iona seemed pretty enthusiastic all of a sudden.
"What's the occasion?"
"I don't know," she replied. "But Megumi seemed pretty perky about dinner and wanted all of us to be there tonight."
I chuckled. The subject of food always lightens up the mood, especially when Yuuko is involved. "Yeah. Let's do that."
Dinner was supposed to be a happy occasion, and one where I could just sit back and relax and enjoy a good meal – especially when it was Yuuko who was in charge of the kitchen. However, both Marie and Miss Sugimoto were present, and it wasn't just their presence that made me uncomfortable, but also their untowardly attitude as well.
It wasn't just me though. Everyone around the table also seemed to be uncomfortable with Marie being overbearing on Megumi, and how Miss Sugimoto was sitting too close to Blue. To be frank, the entire situation at the table was extremely awkward and everyone hurriedly finished their meals in silence. When everyone was nearly done with their food, Megumi stood up and said, "Everyone, I have something to announce."
Five minutes later, everyone had gathered around at the living room. Almost everyone had their jaw dropped as if they had just seen a ghost.
"What do you mean, you and Marie are dating?" Hime was obviously distressed, ruffling up her hair as the words sank in.
"I… I didn't know you swung that way," Iona stammered.
I looked to Blue, hoping to at least get some kind of logical or authorial response out of him, but he just smiled approvingly at the pair. It was not just his acceptance that bothered me, but Miss Sugimoto was also snuggling up to him, clutching at his left arm like a little kitten. If I were to let my instincts take control of my mouth this very moment, I would have run out of expletives before you could even speak the words "Mississippi."
On second thought, perhaps my mind had really broken this time. "What the hell?"
I unintentionally managed to get everyone's attention. "What the hell is this? None of this is not supposed to happen at all! Everything up to now is completely wrong! The whole timeline is all fucked up, and you haven't even unlocked Axia's Shining Make Dresser or your Innocent Forms yet! What the hell is this shit?"
"Ken… calm down," Iona said, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"No!" I shook my head and brushed her hand off. "No, I can't calm down. Not with everything like this! I can't even begin to fathom just how screwed up everything single thing is! You…" I pointed an accusing finger at Marie, "and you…" This was at Miss Sugimoto. "Marisu! And me! We're not supposed to even be here! We don't belong here, yet here we are fucking around the place like some kind of a sick joke!"
Iona kept her head down, while Yuuko stood up and approached me, offering something in her hand. "Please, Ken, try and calm down. Here, have a honey candy."
Before I could answer her, Marie began to weep. "I… I get it. You… you're jealous of us… aren't you… Ken?" she accused, her sobbing getting more and more intense. And annoying too, mind you. Is that how she intended to play it?
"We… we just wanted… everyone to be… happy…" Miss Sugimoto began playing the crying game as well, smothering her face in Blue's chest. He patted her on her head to comfort her, making me feel sick in the gut.
"Hold on just a minute, you two…" Iona stood by my side, addressing the two sad excuses for Precures. "Nobody said anything about-"
"Whose side are you on?" Hime yelled. "Can't my sister just be happy with Megumi? Can't Seiji's cousin be happy with Blue? Are you trying to ruin everyone's happiness?"
Iona and I just stared and blinked, shocked at Hime's outburst. We have not ever seen her like that before. In fact, Hime was the last person in this group that I would have expected to react like this. Yuuko seemed to be at loss for words and just stared helplessly at everyone, her eyes wide open in surprise. This whole situation had just made a turn to the worst, and I may have been the culprit. I have effectively divided the Happiness Charge Pretty Cure team, and I have only myself to blame for it. What was that about me not being able to do anything earlier? Yep, that's me sucking like a useless, sad excuse for a human being.
"I give up." I threw both my arms up in the air. "I give up. You can have your petty romance and your petty, sad excuse for a timeline all for your petty little selves. I'm done here."
I stormed up the stairs and headed straight into my room, leaving everyone in a state of shock. I didn't have the time nor interest to bother noticing the hidden smirks on Marie and Miss Sugimoto's faces.
Author's Note: You know that episode from Samurai Flamenco where everything goes ape? Well, this here is where things start to go bananas. No monkeying around here.
