[A/N: A hodgepodge of Hailey and Jay thoughts after 6X18, and even a little Adam thrown in. Again, no real Upstead in this episode, but we will prevail! Hope this helps hold you over some until we get our next moment with them. Thank you kindly for all of your reads & reviews!]


Hailey was out to dinner with Adam at her favorite place downtown, but no amount of comfort food could help her mood at the moment. She and Kevin had just shipped off Alyssa a few hours ago, to Alyssa's dismay. Hailey feels horrible, especially since she's the one who convinced her to talk and come forward. She owed it to her to protect her like she said she would, and she failed. The past couple months have just been completely frustrating… especially the job front, but all the personal drama that's been conflicting her certainly isn't helping. She continues to pick at her food quietly as Adam reaches his hand over to stroke her wrist.

"Hailey, I know you and Kev are upset… Hell, I wanna strangle Kelton myself, but you can't dwell on it all night." He says to her.

"Adam, we literally just sent her off a couple hours ago, away from everyone she knows, away from her now motherless nieces she swore to be there for, with no answers in sight. I can't just pretend it didn't happen."

"I get it, but what can we do? Maybe we should have let her still testify if that's what she really wanted."

"And what, let her risk getting shot up walking down the street, minding her own business, just like her sister?"

"I'm just saying, people should be free to make their own decisions. You and Kevin helped her as much as you could, but at the end of the day she should be able to choose what she wants."

Hailey shakes her head at that. She knows Adam is only trying to be caring and make her feel better, but it's not helping all that much. There's a small part in the back of her mind wondering if this conversation isn't helping because his name isn't Jay. She knows it's a horrible thought to have, which is why she keeps trying to push it away, but she can't help feel that Jay always knows what to do or say to make her feel better. He just understands, he gets her mentality, and really it's more therapeutic than anything else…. Knowing there's someone out there who never judges you or your decisions and always has your back. All of this is starting to frustrate her even more because she's with Adam. And he deserves her full attention at the moment, especially since he's trying to be there for her. He doesn't deserve to get constantly compared to her partner, even if it's only in her head.

"I appreciate all that you're trying to do Adam, I just think I'll need a little time for this case to settle with me. Maybe a good night's sleep will do the trick. Hopefully Kevin is dealing with it better than I am."

"Actually, he texted me a few minutes ago. Wanted to know if he and I could grab drinks later. I didn't respond yet because I didn't want to leave you hanging tonight."

"No, please, go! I'll be fine. He's your best friend and needs you. Besides, I kind of just want to go home, decompress, and get to bed early."

"Bed and you in the same sentence… you're talking my language girl! I don't know that Kev can top that!" he jokes, getting her to chuckle.

"Oh yea, I'm sure I'll be a real sexy companion tonight!" she smiles back sarcastically.

"You sure you'll be ok though? You can come out with us, I'm sure Kev would love it, it's been forever since we all hung out."

"Nah, you go, I'm fine! We can rain check a group hangout." She assures him, and even though she's full of it, he believes her. He has no reason not to, she's great at concealing things… there's only one person she knows who can fully see right through it…

"Okay, sounds good. Hey, maybe you can call up Jay? Do your thing?" he suggests.

"Yea, maybe… I'm probably just gonna call it a night though…"

She contemplates his last sentence, relieved that he's still fine with all the time she spends with Jay, and that no drama has arisen, at least from that. And as much as she would love to see Jay tonight, she's going to resist because it's gotten to be too much confliction on her heart recently. She has to figure out how to deal with all these feelings… she knows she owes it to Adam, to Jay, and to herself… but it won't be tonight, she's hurting enough already.


Jay has just arrived back to his apartment, spent from the work day which has been the usual recently. It's felt like the cases have gotten harder and harder, or maybe it's his at odds emotions that just make it seem that way. He knows this one hit Hailey extra hard again today; he could see it in her eyes when they were leaving. He just wanted to pull her aside and wrap his arms around her for however long it took… but he knows it's not his place. Not anymore. She has Adam for that now. Not that it ever really was his place, but things were simpler months ago before he knew that relationship existed. His feelings for her were simpler. He was able to deny them to himself, something he can no longer do. He sometimes swears she must feel it too, but he can't cross that line… it was confusing enough before Adam, he doesn't want to disrespect his bro in addition. He lets out a frustrated sigh.

Convinced he's hanging in for the night, he grabs a beer from his fridge and plops down on his love seat. He wishes he could get a better handle on things… falling for another partner was stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course, there was nothing he could do to resist… he feels as if Hailey was fated to come into his life, and since she has it's been so much better, their recent situation aside. He knows she needs someone tonight, even if she denies it, and he sooo wants to be that person… but she's probably with Adam, and he can accept that, he has to… as long as she's seeking comfort. He just wants her to be okay tonight, to be happy, in general, even if it's not with him. He takes a long sip of his beer and turns on the TV.

He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and pulls it out to read the message, part of him hoping it's her. It's from Kevin inviting him to go out to the bar with Adam and him. He instantly sits up and leans forward to study the message, confused… If Adam is with Kevin that means Hailey is probably alone. She can't be alone, not tonight, even if she wants and says it. He knows today devastated her, each recent case being let down after let down. There's a few components to his thoughts right now… one being anger, mad that Adam would actually leave her. However it dissipates soon because he knows how stubborn Hailey can be, and that she probably forced Adam away with assurance she was fine. The second being relief, that he can again be that person for her tonight. He knows there's no stopping him from seeing her at this point if he tried. He quickly texts Kevin back that he's going to pass, and grabs his keys again. Before he knows it, he's en route to Hailey's.

When he arrives, he runs up her outside steps and knocks loudly. He didn't alert her that he was coming, knowing it would be pointless because she'd just try to resist. After all, she once told him this was "their thing" and he's just following in her footsteps. She opens the door after a minute with noticeable tears in her eyes, her cheeks visibly puffy from crying. She just looks at him and he sees her lip tremble, and he knows he made the right choice, he knows she's glad he came.

"Jay…" she manages to say quietly, but he stops her before she can continue.

He doesn't say anything, just steps inside to wrap his arms around her in a big hug. Maybe their first hug if he thinks about it. That's all it takes for her walls to come crumbling down and she starts crying again into his chest. She cries for Alyssa and the broken promises, for Devin, for Lexi, for Voight, for Suggs, even for Darius… she cries for the emotional confusion of the past few months, for almost losing Jay, for his dad, for Al… she cries because it's suddenly gotten too hard to keep up the strong façade 24/7 and try to be there for everyone… she cries because it's Jay, and he's the only one she feels comfortable with to let see her like this. And through all of it, Jay just holds her tighter. He doesn't speak, he doesn't pry, doesn't grow impatient, just lets her let it all out. Neither knows how long they stand there in her hallway like that, but it doesn't much matter. They both know that they'll always be there for the other, no matter how long it takes, or how long they have to wait…