Never was, Isn't Now, Never Will

Chapter Seven

I Was There

She loved me.

Of course she loved me, I knew she loved me. She couldn't hide anything from me and never could. Unless she became an award winning actress on Mars, I'm pretty sure I can still read her. Pretty sure

For a moment, I gazed into the dim room, eyeing the ocean of light seeping from the arch way. In that room was my heart, which was stolen ten years ago. Well, I gave it away.

Sighing, stepping forward, ignoring the thump of my shoes on the floor, I put myself into view in the kitchen. It was like nothing had changed from the sight I saw. Duo was with Quatre, beer in hand, pointing from one picture frame to another on the wall. Cutting vegetables and seasoning varied meats on the counter were the girls, chatting quietly with a, "really?" every now in then catching everyone's attention.

This was how it was ten years ago. We were friends just hanging out; helping with dinner, talking about what happened last week, what she said, what he did. This was our lives that we lived. This is what we were. This was what we've been missing, maybe even the new blonde.

"Heero, can you go ask Duo whether he wants pie or ice cream for dessert?" Hilde's voice said, breaking through my swarm of thoughts. I was caught like a deer in headlights.

It was then that I realized Duo and Quatre were gone, and I was just standing there in the kitchen being stared at by two females that I knew so well. When I didn't answer, Hilde turned to Relena, smiling sadly, "Since Heero is incapable of small tasks, can you go ask Duo and your little blond friend for me?"

Before the protests escaped my lips, Relena had already slipped into the back room where I guessed Duo had disappeared. I would have followed. I would have. If only Hilde wasn't such a nosey Preggo.

"You seem happy" with that accusing Hilde tone.

Ignoring her, I peeled back my coat, hovering it above a chair ready to drop.

"Ah Ah Ah, that's what coat racks are for Heero." Glaring at me through brown bangs

Letting out a frustrated breath, I returned the clump of fabric to rest on my arm, eyeing her with an 'are you happy now?' stare, but just in case she didn't get my hidden message, I said it anyway, "Are you happy now?"

Glancing up, grinning, she nodded, "quite"

But, knowing her, I knew there was more than that to it, "I see…" hoping to avoid the conversation anyway

"So Relena looks quite sorry-"

But she never needed an invitation to start a conversation, "I really don't want to talk about this right now, Hilde."

"And when would be good for you? I have nine months of free time, Heero, just tell me when"

Looking from the doorway that Relena disappearing in and back to Hilde, I could see the frustration that I didn't see before, "I don't know what your problem is but-"

"You didn't see her after she left you, Heero. That was ten years ago and she still hasn't changed. Since that day, she has been regretting it"

"What makes you so sure-"

"Don't play dumb, Heero. I know she hurt you and she was wrong to do it but you-"

Her lecture was cut short with Relena standing in the doorway, fiddling with the fabric on her sleeves, casting her gaze past our heads. I didn't know how long she had been there, nothing wrong was really said, but I knew it didn't make her feel at home.

Hilde's face fell, putting down the cutting knife, "Relena-" stepping forward

With a quick pop of her knuckles, the woman focused her gaze on Hilde, masking any discomfort that was there, "Duo wants both and will be disappointed if he doesn't get both" a little edge in her voice

But instead of walking towards her original place by Hilde, cutting onions, she walked toward and past me to the living room with Hilde following, "Relena, where are you going?" worried

Without turning around, she slipped back on her coat and opened the door, "I'm going to go find a hotel-" squinting as flurries scratched at her face.

"Relena, no, you can stay with us, its fine" getting Duo's attention from his entrance from the kitchen, "Duo, tell her she can't leave yet" half pleading with him, half commanding. It was the way she was, always has been

Having been her friend longer than us all, his face softened and his shoulders slumped slightly, eyeing the girl of his childhood standing in a cold doorway, "Relena, would you like to go for a drive?"

Everyone was confused but I think we all could tell, if Relena could talk to anyone it'd be Duo. Maybe that was what always made me jealous about their relationship. She could always talk to him so much easier than she could with me. What was it about Duo that made her so comfortable?

But, before I could think it over any longer, she nodded silently, glancing at Quatre before exiting out the door. I guess she was just going to leave him here. But, glancing back at him, I think he understood something I didn't.

That didn't make me too happy either.

Giving Hilde a quick kiss, and me a raised eyebrow, Duo headed for the door. But something, I had to say something…

"Duo.."

Stopping in the doorway, hand on the handle; he looked back, "Buddy?" without his cheery tone he used so often

Watching him, his softer features absent of any goofy smirk, I opened my mouth, "What is it about you that makes it so easy to talk to?"

I think everyone wanted to know

He didn't answer for a few moments, looking at me for a good long time before answering.

But even when he did, I didn't really understand him.

"I was there"

With that, he walked out the door, clicking it to a shut. With a roar of an engine, they left.

It wasn't long before Hilde ushered Quatre in the kitchen to help her finish preparing for dinner but I just stayed there in the living room, watching the door.

Hilde didn't seem bothered by the comment, and Quatre didn't seem the slightest bit curious about it.

Was I just blind? What could I not see?

Turning away from the door, dropping my coat on the coat rack as I walked away, I took my spot on the left corner of the couch. The room was still dark, but I didn't really care.

My mind only traveled to the past, where smiles lasted and everything made sense.


This chapter has been long overdue. I'm sorry. Specially to rels haha. I made you wait forever! Hopefully I'll get more ideas soon. I'm trying to keep from writing a new story all together till im done with two stories. But, thank you for the reviews. Hope for an update soon.

I hope you enjoy this chapter and more to come.

R&R-Oblivious-Bystander