To: prettypreppypiperATrocketmail. com

Fr: cupcakecutievauseAThotmail. com

Subject: Re: Hey! It's Totally Fine!

January 10th – 2:00pm

Piper!

You actually replied, I can't believe it! You're funny. I like it.

About my email address, I didn't make it, Nicky did (my best friend, Ms. Nipples, I mean Nichols). Sorry the joke's getting old. Any, I'm not so much into this technology thing if it weren't for my job so, one day, she was making her email address and she tried convincing me to make one for myself, but I didn't feel the need for it, so I told her to make one for me. She asked me if I'm sure about it and I said yes. Hence, my first ever email address. I DON'T EVEN LIKE CUPCAKES! And I don't consider myself a cutie.

So, how about you? Are you pretty and preppy, Piper? I can actually just repeat pretty, preppy and Piper ten times and create a tongue twister out of it. It's nice, it has a nice ring to it. Well at least I'm talking to a 15-year old compared to you talking to a 12-year old like me, right? Kidding! I like your email address. It's much less bad than mine! Lol!

Okay… Okay. About me sending a wrong email to you. Thanks for rubbing it in, preppy Piper! Now I feel bad, but I'd still reply to your email. I hate to admit but, I like receiving your emails. Keep sending them, please? So, yeah, I guess it's safe to say you are now officially my e-mail pal! Yay! Nay?

Yes, my display picture is my dog. He's a Pomeranian and I love him. He may be the only "boy" that I love. Good thing he isn't human. He might have been sticky and sweaty all the time and have dangly parts. Are you a dog person? (Hope you are.) Cat person? If you are, then let's just end this email pal thing right now. Kidding! I don't really like exposing myself through display pictures hence, my dog as my DP.

Your best friend sounds awesome. Did I sound convincing? Well, you wouldn't really know, right? Because you are reading and not listening. Hey, maybe because she's always the one taking up inventories and she wants you to do it? LOL! But, she's your best friend for a reason so you can't do anything about her! Well, technically you can but you'd leave it at that because it's just fair for her as it is fair to you when she chooses not to ditch you. Nicky's my best friend and I can't do anything about her either. *rolls eyes emoji*

I'm sorry about your ex-fiancé. By what you're telling me, he is a huge douche and an asshole for leaving you like that. I sure hope he isn't fucking your mother or his mother for that matter! What you said was just disturbing! Ugghh! I can't get it out of my head.

You seem pretty nice (well at least that's what I could tell throughout this email exchange). And it's okay to rant out. Get it out of your system and don't look back. Unless he has a major hook on you then you have to stop fooling yourself, kid. Go to him and tell him that you still like him (If you still like him). But, let me tell you one sure thing, once a cheater, always a cheater (based on experience). Don't ask (Though I have a feeling that you will).

Wow, now we have rules, huh? Okay. Turning off my auto correct now. And about rule number 3, I told you, once a cheater always a cheater so I think we won't have a problem in that department! I would like to add a few rules in our "rule book":

4. Every time we email each other, we need to tell each other something that the other doesn't know. At least one thing is okay, but you can add more to it.

Hey, if we're doing this email pal thing, might as well get to know each other, right? Which leads me to my next additional rule.

5. We can ask each other one major question each per email. By major it means that might be something personal or something worth contemplating on.

We don't have to answer the question if we're uncomfortable but at least it's out there at the table if any of us are curious cats, right?

This will be soooo fun! I'm going to tell you my favorite color, my favorite number, my favorite pony and then I'm going to ask you stuff like if you want me to braid your hair or paint your nails! *rolls eyes emoji* Sorry! You're definitely talking to a 12-year old!

Men in my life. Men in my… Ahhh! Like what I said, no men in my life! So, yep, no brothers! And no dad! He left way too early in my life for me to even remember. And hey! Don't make fun of my internal gases rounding in my stomach making its way out of my butt! They want to be released and if ever you smell a good smelling fart, let me know! What a mature conversation we are having right here, Piper! HAHA!

Sylvie is just the longest romp that I ever had. Yes, she became my "girlfriend" unofficially but, maybe we have formed a friendship because of it but I don't really want to call it friendship. I'd call it more of an acquaintance kind of thing. Some dumb feelings were shared, I guess? But nothing too deep. I don't like how she fell in love with me when I specifically told her the first time not to do so.

Red-head (short hair) about 5 feet 5 inches huge butt medium breast size and an almost always scrounged up face. That's what Sylvie looks like. What do I look like? Wouldn't you like to know, huh, kid? What do you look like? I'm not even sure if I want to tell you what I look like. I definitely look like a human person. I'm tall and pale and I have long black hair. Well, at least that's how people describe me and that's only what you are going to get from me. I would like to imagine you too. I can't picture you in my head either. How come you don't have a display photo? I would like to see how you look like.

Oh, so I think I didn't only find an email-pal, I also found a co-bookie. Are you a bookworm? I would assume that you are. I'd read anything under the sun. Plus, Shake Shack? Mmmmhhhmmm! The Shack Stack is just to die for! With a side of those cheese fries with bacon and a mmmmmilkshake! Shit. I sound like a slob, huh? Am I turning you off already? Shit. Since we have the no erase rule, I wasn't meant to write that down. Sorry. And you can't go wrong with a 40oz. Good choice.

You, telling me to keep my Dr. Chin up just made my Dr. Mouth smile. Oh god what did I just type? That was just too corny, and I can't erase it. Shit! Please disregard that part. About my working paradise, I've worked from home over the weekend through phone calls just to fix those shipments and it hasn't been the best days of my life but I'm glad to have gotten over with it.

About those products, I would prefer to use them on myself than throw them to the clients (or shove it up their asses). Yeah it would hurt them but after that they would benefit from it and I don't want that. I want to benefit from it. (I'm kind of selfish sometimes!) I'd prefer vanilla lotion over lemon though. But a lemon bath bomb is the bomb. Get it? I'm a 12-year old remember?

Nope, this isn't one-sided. I enjoy receiving your emails as much as I enjoy writing to you (Even though I can't erase some of what I've typed). I don't know what hit us but, I also feel at ease exchanging emails with you so if you are someone who is attempting to steal from me or frame me or something, please tell me now so I'll stop. (But I just realized that if you really are, of course you wouldn't tell me *facepalm*). I would continue typing away anyway.

So, let me start with doing rule 4 and 5 before I end this email. I am thinking that you might be getting bored in reading this already.

Something that you may not know about me is that I have tattoos. Four of them scattered around my body.

My question for you, is, would you rather find your true love or find a suitcase full of ten million dollars?

Okay, that's a bad question, huh? I don't really know what to ask though. Let me think of another one for the next email.

Have a great day, Pipes. Don't go throwing bath products to clients.

Alex

P.S. What is your favorite book? Mine might be Moby Dick by Herman Melville. (This may also be the only Dick I would like.) Oh, god! That sounded so wrong!


A/N: Wow! Thank you for your thoughts and reviews! I'm definitely going to continue this story. I'd appreciate if you guys can tell me what you think! i just ask for a little bit of patience. We're getting to the good parts.