Author's Notes: Containing all the usual filth you've no doubt come to expect from me XD For those of you keeping track, the 12 hottest women as banged by Wade Wilson so far are. Not counting Carol Danvers who has yet to be banged.
1. Wonder Woman
2. Bea Arthur
3. Invisible Woman
4. SPOILER ALERT FOR THIS CHAPTER: Poison Ivy
Wade led his valiant crew towards the dark foreboding castle that was Arkham Asylum. Damian, Clayface, Captain Marvel, Moonstone and Wonder Woman were all following him with grim looks on their faces. "Wait here," Wade ordered when they reached the gates. "Why?" Moonstone demanded, disappointed. "I have to do this alone." There was an sigh from all the crewmembers, particularly Carol, because they knew exactly what he meant by 'do.'
The walls of the Asylum were as dark and foreboding on the inside as they had been on the outside but Wade found the inside much more bearable because there were helpful signposted directions at the end of each corridor. Wade heard a familiar laugh from further down the corridor he was in and dashed forwards, his arms coming down around the neck of a nurse. "Hello Harley..." he whispered in his best Batman impression. "Jack Sparrow!" she squealed with delight.
After a long and weighty explanation that he was in fact Captain Wade Wilson of the spaceship Deadpool, and not Captain Jack Sparrow as he had first appeared, Harley agreed to help him navigate Arkham. Wade knew he had to find Dr Meridian for any hope of escape but he had a stop to make first. Following the signposts he eventually found a cell that appeared to be more of a greenhouse. The door creaked open easily.
Wade and Harley stepped inside only to met by a giant circular vat. "Is she in there?" Wade asked. Harley nodded, her lip trembling with excitement. Wade turned the wheel to open the vat and the lid lifted slowly. Inside, were two things. Firstly, and most prominently, was the occupant of the cell, a red-haired beauty those skin had started to turn a pale shade of green, and whose body was dotted with an assortment of leaves: Poison Ivy. The second thing was what filled most of the vat and seemed to cover Ivy even more than the leaves, was melted cheese.
"Ivy!" Harley screamed with joy, it was so high pitched Wade had to cover his ears. "Hello Harley," Ivy's singsong voice greeted them, "...and friend." Wade stepped forwards. "My name is Wade Wilson and I'm here to sleep with you," he announced. "Sounds fun, can Harley join in?" Ivy smiled. "Sure," Wade shrugged.
Harley scrabbled up into the vat while Wade was much more controlled as he climbed up and lifted himself into it. The melted cheese was a weird texture at first but was quite pleasant once he was used to it. By the time he was up in the vat with them the leaves had already retracted from Ivy's body leaving her naked and she was pinning Harley down beneath her, pushing her down into the cheese.
Wade quickly discarded his own clothing, whipping out his massive penis. His body came down on top of Ivy's, pushing both girls down further into the sticky yellow cheese. He drew back his hips then thrust forwards into Ivy's ass.
Harley's eyes were closed but she could feel Ivy's body being banged into hers and she could feel Ivy's hands and fingers working their way all over Harley's body, unbuttoning the nurse outfit and snatching a feel of anywhere she could find. She could also feel melted dairy product mixing with sweat and coating her.
Wade's dick pounded into Ivy's ass over and over, his hands were on her butt, rubbing and squeezing and occasionally slapping. Ivy managed to stop a moan but Harley didn't when Ivy's nimble fingers slipped inside her panties. Ivy had to admit that stripping Harley Quinn out of her nurse uniform and fingering her while being fucked from behind by a space pirate she'd never met before in a vat of melted cheese was not how she had expected the day to go when she woke up, but it was more fun than she'd ever had in Arkham before.
Wade's eyes closed and his face tensed up as he ejaculated. Something about the smell of cheese, or fromage as the French call it, made him even more horny than usual. He'd add that to the list of fetishes to remember, right next to power rangers. Harley and Ivy kept going at each other despite Wade finishing. Both of them appreciated the good rough spanking Wade gave them as they screwed each other, but Wade could sense that he wasn't needed anymore so he left them to it.
Wade wandered the corridors again, searching for Meridian's office. He was only dressed in his underwear now, and he had a rather obvious erection from thinking of how Harley and Ivy were doing. He'd set up a camera so he could watch the whole show later. If nothing else, Moonstone would be interested. Then the alarms started to shriek. "Two prisoners escaping" a voice echoed around the asylum. Wade raised an eyebrow as the two said prisoners came around the corner to face him.
"Quick hide in here!" Wade called to them opening a door to an occupied cell. The two women nodded their thanks and dashed inside. Wade followed them in, shutting the door behind them but making sure the door didn't lock. There were two beds in the cell and there was an escaped prisoner hiding under both of them. Wade took the opportunity to look around the cell. It appeared to belong to someone who really liked bridges from the looks of the pictures on the wall. Guards rushed past the cell without even looking in. "They're gone," Wade grinned. The two women slid out from under the beds and Wade got a chance to look at them properly.
Catwoman. They were both Catwoman. One was Michelle Pfeiffer from Batman Returns, the other was Julie Newmar from the 1960s movie. "Hello kitty," Wade grinned.
10 minutes later
Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman was tied down to one of the beds in just her undies, watching intrigued as Wade fucked Julie Newmar's Catwoman up the ass over the other bed. The 60s Catwoman was gasping for breath as Wade slammed into her ass and groped her boobs. Newmar called out as she started to orgasm. Wade pulled out and left her to catch her breath and finish her orgasm on the bed, turning his attention to the other Catwoman.
Having never seen Batman Returns due to his objection of the use of penguins in it, Wade was surprised to learn that Catwoman was blonde in it. Knowing that she was tied down and so wouldn't be going anywhere, Wade just sat there, straddling her waist, admiring the view as he twirled a strand of her blonde hair around his finger. "How bad does kitty want it?" he asked, starting to rub her titties. "Kitty wants it bad," she moaned out licking her lips.
Wade took his time rubbing Pfeiffer's body all over, before reaching to yank down her panties. He was interrupted mid-reach by the door opening and a small petite blonde figure entering. "Oh..." Gwen Stacy gasped in surprise.
Gwen stood there in a striped green and black top and a black skirt with boots. Oh, those boots. Wade's mind made the conscious decision that when he fucked her he would take off all her clothes except those boots. The skirt showed off her legs nicely and, along with the black hair band, made her look adorable. "I can explain..." Wade started
10 minutes later
Gwen was moaning out uncontrollably as Wade's hand roamed beneath her skirt. She was pressed up against the wall and her shirt was discarded on the floor. His mouth was in the process of ripping apart her bra. The Tim Burton Catwoman lay on the bed, still tied down, but now nude and breathing uncontrollably, having already been brought to orgasm twice. The Julie Newmar Catwoman was starting to stir.
Wade pulled Gwen's knickers aside and his fingers pumped in and out of her pussy forcefully. The deep penetration provoked even more moans. Her bra had finally fallen apart and he was nibbling on her tits now. Her skirt and knickers slid down her legs and her hair swooshed from side to side with each thrust of his fingers and each moan that escaped her. Now he finger-fucked her in just those boots he'd loved since she walked in. It didn't take long for his fingers to become covered in the juices of her orgasm.
It occurred to Wade that time was getting on and his crew were waiting for him. "Sorry ladies, I've gotta go," he said with a sympathetic smile as he stepped back towards the door. His eyes rested on Gwen's form. He'd barely got started with her, and she wasn't an Arkham Inmate so her presence made no sense here. Plus, those boots. "Take me with you," she begged. For a moment, it looked like Wade would cave, but then his face hardened.
"Sorry, love I can't. The writer clearly wants me to take you to join my crew, and one thing I've learned over my many years of publication is to never trust a writer, they're only interested in ridiculous plotlines. Besides, my crew would be so big that the author would have to have some sort of disaster to kill some of them off so he could manage all the characters, and then their blood would be on my hands. It would mostly be on his, but some would be on mine, and I can't allow that."
Gwen nodded understandingly, as if she had any idea what wade was going on about. Then Wade stepped outside the cell, closing the door behind him. The lock clicked. "Oops," Wade muttered. Gwen and the Catwomen would have to keep each other occupied. Then he remembered he'd left Pfeiffer-Woman tied up. They could have some fun with that...
Wade took the opportunity to check back on Harley and Ivy to see if they were finished and he could get his camera back but they were still going at it so he let them be and headed to Dr Meridian's office. He reached it without disturbance this time. He knocked on the door then stepped inside.
It was amazing, Dr Chase Meridian looked exactly how Nicole Kidman did in Batman Forever. She was hot. "Dr Meridian? Or can I call you Chase? I need some parts for my spaceship so I can get off this planet," Wade said. "Chase is fine," Dr Meridian said, standing up, "But I can't give you those parts. Everyone that comes to Arkham comes for a reason, and unless you can prove to me that the universe would suffer without your presence then it is my moral obligation to imprison you here."
Wade paused. He could mention that he was on a quest to save the universe. He could mention that if he didn't get out of here then no-one would ever see the Harley Quinn Poison Ivy sex tape. He could even mention that he had a crew depending on him. But none of them were the most important reason that he was needed. "Chimichangas."
"Excuse me?" Chase asked. "Without me the chimichanga business would fail," Wade explained, "Also I'm on a quest to have sex with the hottest women in the universe, and btw, you're not on my list but I'd be happy to sleep with you anyway." It was Meridian's turn to pause now. "I do love chimichangas..." she muttered.
She liked chimichangas. There was no way Wade could stop himself from having sex with her now. He didn't wait for her to answer, instead he reached forwards and wrapped his arms around her shoulders pulling her, in her skimpy black dress, into his arms.
The dress accented her boobs well but to be honest Wade preferred those hot breasts when they were out of the dress and in his mouth. The dress was also good at showing off her legs but once again, Wade thought her slender legs were better once the dress was off. It's amazing that she didn't comment on the fact that you were naked when you came into her office. The first caption box commented. I think the writer forget about that until now the second box replied. I bet he forgot about us as well the first added. Wade winked to the reader.
Her boobs tasted good. Wade wanted to sprinkle salt on them, he thought they would be even better salty, but he couldn't see any salt lying around. He did see a very comfy looking black leather swivel chair though which he sat down in. "That's my chair," Chase said in disbelief. "You're welcome to sit on my lap," Wade said innocently. Chase decided this was a good enough compromise and sat down on him.
As Chase Meridian's hips swayed into his, Wade found his mind wandering. The sex was great and he was enjoying groping her ass and boobs while she fucked him, but Wade was so taken with the location of the lovemaking, namely her chair, that he had to make a mental note while he remembered. When he got back he needed to make sure he got a swivel chair made of melted cheese to fuck Power Rangers in.
Meridian came several times but each time Wade was still hard so he placed his hands on her hips and pumped her body up and down on him until she was horny enough to take over herself again. This happened three times before Wade was finally ready to leave his chair. As she had her fourth orgasm of the afternoon Wade finally shot his cum into her.
Chase took her chair back and directed Wade to wear the parts he needed were while fingering herself. Once he had the parts he fucked her over her desk a couple of times before taking his leave.
Dr Chase Meridian watched out her office window as Deadpool's spacecraft took off, heading back to Earth where it had come from. Arkham World had been designed for people that the universe itself deemed too crazy or dangerous to be anywhere else. That was why people crashed here, so they could live without the risk of disrupting other's lives. But Wade Wilson was taking his ship and his crew and leaving.
"He's the first to ever beat the Arkham system," Chase whispered in awe. "In Arkham City they already have a name for him, they're calling him the Arkham Knight," Chase's assistant commented, equally inspired. Chase just nodded then stepped away from the window. Dr Jean Grey from the X-Men movies, portrayed by Famke Janssen kept staring out of the window, feeling the Phoenix awoken inside of her by the thoughts of Wade Wilson.
Next: World Tour
