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*****
Chapter Six
"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend."
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Cashbot Headquarters was in utter pandemonium when the VP rolled inside. Cogs and Skelecogs were scampering wildly in all directions, as if trying to run away from the reality of how badly their boss was hurt.
The VP simply stood there for a long time with his mouth hanging open. If he had been lying on his back like a turtle, frantically flailing at the air with his arms, he couldn't have felt more awkward.
A Robber Baron strode up to him then, his face pinched into worried-lines. He stuck out a hand and shook one of the VP's fingers. "Thank goodness you're here, sir," he said breathlessly. "We're unsure of what to do now."
"Yeah," a little Short Change whimpered, attaching himself to one of the VP's treads. "The CFO is s'pposed to tell us what to do, but now he's - he's the one in trouble."
The VP glanced down at him. Short Changes looked almost exactly like Cold Callers, and he felt himself soften. Maybe this was an extremely awkward situation, but at least he knew something he could do right.
"I know, I know," he said quietly, patting the tiny Cog on the head. "It's going to be just fine. You'll be all right."
The Short Change managed a barely-visible nod and sniffed. "Okay."
The VP snapped his head back toward the Robber Baron. "So - what's going on here, exactly?"
The Robber Baron heaved a sigh. "Things look better than they did a couple of hours ago. The good news is his body took the brunt of the damage. When he was hit by that thing, part of him basically exploded. If he had been hit in the head -" The Robber Baron tugged his gray mustache and let that sentence go unfinished.
The VP slapped a hand over his mouth as a shudder wiggled through his body. "Oh no," was all he could get out.
The Short Change let out a puppy-like whine.
The Robber Baron gave a world-weary nod. "Luckily, we found him in time. If the Skelecog team had been even a few minutes later, it might have been too late."
The VP let out a long sigh. "Well, at least there's that."
A Loan Shark stepped up beside him, shaking his head. "You know, it's the most peculiar thing. I could have sworn the team of Skelecogs said that a Toon led them straight toward him."
The VP's brain immediately tangled up - it always did at times like this - but he managed to think something coherent, and he snatched it up. "You mean - a Toon showed them he was hurt? A Toon helped him?"
The Loan Shark nodded. "They believe that was her intent, yes."
The Short Change's eyes grew so large the VP was sure they would pop right out of his head. "Wow. A Toon traitor."
But the Loan Shark ran his hand awkwardly up and down one scrawny arm. "No, this Toon was no traitor. She had come out of the main vault, which is where the Toons were reported to have ambushed the CFO. She was one of their team."
The VP blinked against this new wave of confusion. "But - if she was part of the team that fought him, why would she help him?"
The Loan Shark shrugged. "Why do Toons do any of the things they do?"
"I don't know," the Short Change whispered.
The Robber Baron glanced at the smaller Cog and almost smiled. "That was a rhetorical question."
The Short Change's forehead puckered. The VP, feeling embarrassed, realized he wasn't quite sure what that was either. "Is that one of those questions you're not supposed to answer?"
"Yes," said the Loan Shark.
"Was that a rhetorical question?" asked the Short Change.
"Was that?" the Robber Baron shot back.
The VP's brain wound itself into a hard knot. "What are we talking about?"
A Goon wandered by then, turned their direction, blinked its eye-light, and then continued on its way.
That was the last straw. The Short Change began to giggle in short, metallic little bursts. It was actually kind of a cute sound - not overly cute, like Toon-laughter.
"No laughing, 17-53," the Robber Baron said in a warning tone.
"Sorry." The Short Change clamped his lips together and tried so hard to look fierce that suddenly the VP wanted to laugh. One glance over at the yellow tape surrounding the main vault, though, and the urge to chuckle disappeared. Even from here, he could see a train parked haphazardly in front of the gold double doors.
Suddenly Cashbot Headquarters didn't seem so snazzy and fancy. It just seemed like a sad, scary, lonely place.
The VP took a deep breath and straightened his huge shoulders. He didn't know exactly what to do in a crisis like this, and he couldn't single-handedly fix it. But there were a few things he did know, and he went with them.
"Robber Baron," the VP said in what he hoped was a firm-but-gentle voice. "I'm presuming you're all taking time off your jobs to fix the CFO."
"It's 23-67, sir," the Robber Baron replied, back stiffening like a pole. "And yes, you presume correctly."
"And I'm also presuming none of the Short Changes have the proper training to help with this."
"Yes, sir."
"Then -" The VP took a deep breath and tried not to think about how strange it felt to be giving instructions to a Cashbot. "They don't need to see all this. I'm taking them back to Sellbot Headquarters."
The Robber Baron's eyes widened behind his black mask. "Not that I'm questioning your judgment, sir, but why?"
The VP looked down at the now-nearly-asleep Short Change still clinging to his tread. "It's for their own good. This is probably traumatizing them. I certainly wouldn't want my youngest ones witnessing this - if it had been me."
"It's been you lots of times, hasn't it?" called out a passing Money Bags. The Short Change gasped at such wickedness.
The VP tried not to let that comment sting.
"All right, then," the Robber Baron said, ignoring the Money Bags. "Anything else?"
"Do whatever you can to save him," the VP said, in about the sternest voice he'd ever used. "I don't care if it's expensive and difficult. Every one of our lives counts."
"That's not what the Chairman says," the Short Change mumbled drowsily.
The VP felt his shoulders droop. The Chairman was always right. But - it was possible he was wrong about this. Wasn't it?
"I'll send some of the Skelecogs on the Sellbot maintenance team over tonight to help. In the meantime, I'm sure the CFO would say, 'Keep up the good work, Cashbots.'"
The Loan Shark and the Robber Baron exchanged doubtful glances.
"Well, I'm saying it," the VP said stubbornly. "Keep up the good work, Cashbots."
With that, he scooped up the Short Change, put him on the gear around his waist, and headed for home.
********
For several weeks, the VP had his hands full, trying to take care of the Sellbots and the Cashbots. Sometime in the middle of all that, he somehow managed to knock the file cabinet containing their naming system over the launchpad's cliff. Only some of the files were recovered, and completely out of order, causing one brand-new Cog to be named 167-8, and the one made directly after him 9485938535-LF.
It was also good for another angry call from the Chairman, berating his clumsiness and stupidity. And why in the world were there Short Changes at Sellbot Headquarters?
"Is that a rhetorical question?" the VP had asked.
The Chairman had said several words into the phone that the VP was glad his Cold Callers weren't around to hear, and hung up.
The VP wasn't sure why. It had been an honest question.
*******
Finally, the day came when he received a letter asking him to come to Cashbot Headquarters. The CFO had - hopefully - been fixed, and they were re-awakening him.
And, to thank the VP, they wanted him to be there.
So he went. And words couldn't begin to describe what he saw.
Amid a room full of anxious silence - even the Goons seemed to be holding their breaths - the CFO's eyes fluttered open like a brand-new Cog's. They were cloudy and unfocused and almost scared, but they were open.
"You're alive!" the VP yipped.
A Penny Pincher covered his ears.
The CFO gave a deep groan and then a cough. "Yeah, I'm alive," he said, his voice sounding rusty and scrappy. "I think."
His eyes scanned the room unsteadily for a minute, then finally came back to rest on the VP - and focused. "Hey," he scraped out. "You're here."
"Why wouldn't I be?" the VP replied.
"He's been here all this time, sir," said the Penny Pincher. "He's been guiding us while you were - um, recovering."
The CFO's face went slack, and he shook his head. If the VP didn't know better, he'd have thought he looked embarrassed.
The door to the maintenance room creaked open, and a Bean Counter poked his head in. "Sir," he said quietly. "I hate to interrupt, but the Chairman's on the phone."
The CFO closed his eyes and winced.
I feel your pain, the VP thought. But all he said was, "I'll be back tomorrow."
Just before he left, he thought he heard the CFO said, "Thank you."
But he was sure he was wrong.
**********
He could tell they'd stepped up security since the CFO's defeat. The instant he rolled in the door, a Tightwad flung himself in his path and hollered, "Intruder! State your name, rank, and serial number."
The VP couldn't think of anything even semi-intelligent to say to that. All that came out was, "Huh?"
The Tightwad rolled his eyes. "Okay, one question at a time, genius. Name?"
That he knew. "Senior Vice President of Sales," the VP replied, proud to have remembered the whole thing.
"Rank?"
"Senior Vice President of Sales."
The Tightwad squinted at him. "Is this some kind of joke?"
The VP shrugged. "I don't know. Is it?"
"Oh, for the love of Glower Power - 111-111!" A Robber Baron strode over to them and yanked the Tightwad away by the arm. "That's the VP! Head of the Sellbots! Ring a bell?"
The Tightwad smirked. "Okay. So are we letting him in or not?"
"Of course we're letting him in." The Robber Baron gave a dramatic eye-roll.
"But I thought the Chairman said he was a loser…" the Tightwad whined.
Before that could even begin to hurt, the Robber Baron bent down and hissed into the Tightwad's face, "I know. But the Boss says he's the most loyal Cog he's ever known. Anytime you see the VP, you let him in. Understand?"
The Tightwad nodded and waddled off, looking down at the floor.
The VP watched him go, a bit of warmth starting to spread through his chest and eat up the cold. The CFO had said he was the most loyal Cog he'd ever known. That felt - good. Really good.
He entered the CFO's office to find the CFO himself staring at the security camera's monitors, eyes darting restlessly from one screen to the next.
"Hi," the VP said.
The CFO turned around and hunched up his shoulders, the way the VP had done with his own so many times. "Hey."
"The Chairman yelled at you, huh?"
"Big time." The CFO grunted. "Now I know what it's like to be you."
For once, he didn't sound like he was trying to insult him, so the VP just nodded. And then he went over and put a hand on the CFO's shoulder. "The first defeat is the hardest," he whispered. "After that, it gets a little better. But the sting never quite goes away."
The CFO batted his hand away and sighed. "Sounds like I've got a lot to look forward, too, then," he said, voice dripping sarcasm.
The VP flinched for him. He knew what it was like to be criticized for everything you said and did, and he wouldn't wish the way he had been feeling lately on anyone - even this guy, who had been the bane of his existence for the past month.
"Just wait until your first victory, though," the VP encouraged. "It's one of the best feelings in the world."
The CFO's eyes widened in awe for a moment, before he caught himself and sent them back down into slits. "You've actually won?"
The VP felt a pang. "Yes. The Chairman never told you that, did he?"
The CFO shook his cash-register head. "He never told me anything good about you. I think that's part of the reason why - " He stopped suddenly and looked at the ceiling as if the rest of his sentence was up there.
"Why what?" the VP prompted. Seeing that the CFO looked as awkward as he felt actually made all this a little easier.
"Why I thought I could never be defeated. I thought since I was faster and smarter and better than you, I was invincible." He shrugged those muscular shoulders, and the VP felt another ripple of envy. "Guess I was wrong."
The VP felt his eyes bulge. He'd never heard anyone say that to him before, minus his own Sellbots when they flubbed a sale.
The CFO gave another shoulder-hunch. "About the invincible part, that is." He threw the VP a quick smirk. "I am faster and smarter and better than you."
"No-wah!" the VP yelped before he could stop himself.
The CFO shook his head again. "You are too much fun to tease."
He seemed to realize what he'd said at the same moment the VP did, because they both arched their necks at the same time. The VP finally said, "Ouch. Fun."
"Yeah. Don't tell that Chairman I said that, okay?"
"Okay."
The CFO turned back to the screens. "I was looking over the recordings from the day I was - you know. Defeated."
The VP nodded. "And?"
"Well, see for yourself." The CFO punched a button, and grainy footage began to play. It showed the CFO wandering out the door of the vault with a triumphant expression on his face.
Then the sight of a train whizzing by and the noise of an explosion filled the entire screen, and the VP winced. "Didn't that hurt?"
"For a minute. Then I was unconscious, thank goodness." The CFO shook his head several times. "Now, here's the part you have to see."
Several Toons stepped onto the screen, doing a victory dance. The VP's circuits sizzled with anger. How could they be dancing with joy when his cohort lay under a train, out cold?
But not all the Toons were dancing. A monkey stood smiling in the back corner, waiting for them to stop. And a small purple dog in tie-dye clothes stood at the door to the vault, gloved hand clamped over her mouth, eyes wide and scared-looking.
A few seconds later, the Toons finished their dance and went over and talked to the monkey. And then they all threw down their mysterious black holes and disappeared. (How did they do that, anyway?)
All but the dog. She ran offscreen and then appeared a few minutes later on the other side of the vault door, by the train. She squatted down next to CFO's face, the only part of him except for his hands visible under the train. Her lips moved as if she were trying to talk to him. Her eyes were warm and concerned, and her mouth was soft at the corners the way the Minglers' got right before they called the VP "hon."
And then she turned and darted off again. A few minutes later, she returned, waving a Cogbuck bill over her head, running as fast as those little legs could carry her. Four Skelecogs were in hot pursuit.
The dog screeched to a halt directly in front of the train and tossed the bill into the middle of the wreckage. The Skelecogs lunged for it, running into each other in the process, and then stopped, their hands flying to their mouths as they realized what they were looking at.
A Skelecog went over and pushed the emergency intercom button, and the others simply stood there, staring solemnly down at the CFO's still figure. The dog tugged on one of their arms and said something else. He waved her off, and she threw down her hole and disappeared.
The screen dissolved into static at that point, and the VP shook himself as if waking up from a dream. "Wow," he said when he could finally speak again. "Just - wow."
"There's no way around it," the CFO added, eyes still locked on the screen. "That Toon saved me. And she did it on purpose."
"Well, that - that was nice of her," the VP said, for lack of anything to say.
"But Toons aren't nice to Cogs. And Cogs aren't nice to Toons. It's practically a law." The CFO gave a frustrated sigh. "I don't understand why she did that for me."
The VP shrugged. "And you think I do? You're smarter than me, remember?"
The CFO nodded blankly.
It was suddenly just too hard to stay there with the CFO and his questions and his own questions, so he edged toward the door. "By the way," he asked on his way out, "do you want to come over to Sellbot Headquarters sometime? I could teach you how to aim gears at Toons. It's a very effective attack."
The CFO turned from the screens and nodded again. "I'd like that."
The VP rolled out the door and threw back over his shoulder, "See you around, Register-Head."
For an instant, an actual smile flickered across the CFO's face. "Not if I see you first, Cross-Eyes."
And for a while there was no more coldness in the VP's chest.
