Hi all! I haven't been updating lately, but thanks to a review I've been newly motivated! Well here's a new chapter, hope you enjoy! :)
Chapter 7: Emily
"Come on E-E"
I drag Katie's hand down the porch steps of the party, the music still bumping into my ears. Effy is trotting behind us, and I cannot fully concentrate from what just happened. My lips are still tingling.
"I said I wouldn't take you home, Katie! Why am I even helping you down these bloody stairs?" I instantly let go of my sister's icy cold hands once we reach the pavement. Maybe I won't keep my words and at least ring her a cab. I can't let her pissed self walk home alone like this, she is my sister and I do love her. I'd blame myself if anything happened to her, but that doesn't automatically eliminate the hatred I have for her at the moment. But I give in to the way Effy is looking at me like I must get rid of her, like this night won't end just yet between us, that I should ring Katie a cab and follow her somewhere into the night.
"Katie." I rip my eyes from Effy's pleading gaze and focus my attention on my wobbly sister who is grabbing at my cheeks.
"Wow. You're pretty. I never tell you that do I, Ems-Emsy. You look like me, so you must-"
I can't help but giggle at her eager hands and sparkly eyes that are grazing over my face as if she is just realizing we're twins.
"Okay, thanks. But listen to me, yeah?" I ask, gripping her shoulders so tight my knuckles turn white. I briefly glance over to Effy, still standing patiently, flashing me a small grin.
"I'm gonna ring up a cab for you to get home, you're absolutely trashed. Get in the cab and go home. If you do so, a big bottle of booze and warm chocolate cookies will be in our room when you get there. Okay?" I stare into Katie's glossy eyes, and her mouth hangs open a bit. She's past gone.
"Ooh, chocolate cookies sound fantastic. I'm tired. Sleepy. I think I'll get home and drunk text Danny. Or Cook. Both fit."
I brush a once straightened part of Katie's hair out of her eye, and I can't help but smile. I can't possibly stay mad at her for long, she's too cluelessly adorable. I'll have to sort out some things in the morning when she's puking out tonight into the hangover bucket.
"Just promise me you'll get home safe, and ring me if you need me. And when you get there."
"You got it, dude." Katie thinks she winks but really flutters both her eyes closed really fast, quoting Full House.
After ringing up a cab, and waiting around for about ten minutes being the responsible person I am, the cab pulls up to the curb and I watch my well drunk sister stumble inside. When it's gone down the street, I glance towards a smiling Effy. Wow does the moon do her eyes justice.
"You're too nice to her Emily. You did all that, you know I would've just left her." We begin walking down the block, the moon following us with each step. Effy's hand is drifting towards mine, but she doesn't grab it immediately. So I just keep it in her distance, my eyes glancing down at it every second.
"I don't want tomorrow." I finally say, because I know I'll have to face whatever comes my way. Whatever tonight has caused. Naomi, Effy.
"Then we can stay in today for as long as you'd like. Let's go to Richmond Hill, little red."
Then she grabs my hand. Interlocking our fingers as one. We walk in silence until we get to my favorite hill, and I guess Effy's too since I've never told her about it. She leads me up to the peak, dropping to her knees and then her stomach, glancing behind her to make sure I'm following. I do the same.
"Did you find her?" Effy asks me, reconnecting our hands again. I play dumb like the 'her' that both comes to our minds is a nobody in mine.
"Care to elaborate on whose her?" I playfully ask, brushing her fingertips with my palm. They're soft, and warm. I want to press the gentle skin to my lips.
"Don't bullshit me, Emily. You know the only 'her' in your world."
Somehow I can tell saying this hurts Effy. There's just a bit of shakiness in her tone. I give her hand a gentle squeeze to let her know that might not be true. Might.
"If you think of something in your head, if you create a scenario it sounds all perfect, doesn't it?" I glance over to Effy whose eyes are glued into mine. She licks her lips before nodding slowly.
"Unless you're a bugger. Like me, I think." She shyly answers, but doesn't dare smirk.
"Well let's say it works for buggers too, even you." I glance over to her with a smug grin on my face.
"Okay... get to your point."
"Well when I'm with her it's like a scenario all played out in my head, like I'm controlling everything. And then she smiles and it breaks. I'm not in control anymore, I'm a bloody mess. My scenario doesn't work, I'm ruined. But somehow that doesn't matter because time is frozen and I can fix whatever I like and start it back up again. And ugh, that sounded a lot better in my head."
I almost lose myself in actually describing what being with Naomi feels like, I don't notice Effy's hand slide out of mine.
"Sounds like love to me." Effy whispers, barely audible. I don't want her getting hurt, because I definitely don't love Naomi. I can't. She's wrong about it all.
"That's not it, I don't even know what love is. But I know for sure I don't feel that for her."
I close my eyes gently as I speak, hoping I feel Effy's touch again if I wish for it enough. I don't.
"You probably haven't even thought it through Ems. You're not a thinker much, more of an avoider. What are you even doing here with me? You should be with Naomi, you love her. I can see it in the way you speak about her, the way you watch her. I can see you're interested, but you can't pull yourself away. You didn't go get drinks tonight, you went looking for her. I watched you."
What no one knows is I am a thinker, I think too much. But for the first time, I'm at a loss for words. I do care and look out for Naomi, but I barely know her, right? We didn't talk much in middle school, apart from the big bang. Okay, so she makes my knees weak, my heart skip a few beats, and my eyes glow? That's normal for someone you've had your first kiss with, especially if they're sort of beautiful. I like Effy. I'm sure of it, she makes me feel all the same things. She introduces so many new things for me, like I'm being reborn. I love watching her, listening to her breathe even. I just can't wrap my head around all the emotions my heart is feeling. For everyone, even for friends.
"I-I... I don't know how to phrase this. Effy, how do I tell you? I've got so much to say, so little time. I'm so confused, I like you. I don't want you to leave because you think Naomi has my heart. I don't know why I do those things when I'm around her, why I feel like that. I have no idea what's going on in my head. I just don't want you to go, I really like you being with me. I like you." I stutter over myself, and I'm convinced she probably can't comprehend a word I've said. I just patiently wait for a response. She leans over me, and plants the sweetest kiss on my lips. It doesn't linger, or progress. It's delicate like a butterfly landing on a flower and simply flying away. It does make me want to get up and forcefully push her lips into mine, just to tell her how I feel. Instead I don't and savor the tingles tickling my lips, the touch of hers like a ghost haunting me.
"You're gonna make me mad." She whispers into my ear, her lips brushing my neck.
Effy walks me home in silence, but she holds my hand. Her grip is all I need, no words will make me feel better. I'm still unsteady about everything, considering I don't usually pour my heart out. This day might have been the most tiresome day I've ever experienced.
"Goodnight, Ems. If you don't have plans this weekend, text me. Only if you want." She plants a small kiss on the corner of my lips, even though I wish we could have indulged this one last time. Effy's kisses leave me starving for more.
"Thank you for everything tonight, I'll definitely text you, okay? Don't worry about-"
"Night Em."
And with that she's off. I linger on the porch, watching her walk away with spliff in her mouth. I watch her until I can't see her anymore.
When I get upstairs into mine and Katie's room, Katie is still awake lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka in hand. You'd think after all that drinking tonight she'd be getting some sleep, trying to sober up.
"Hey... thought you'd be sleeping 'round now." I close the door behind me as I enter, immediately stripping off my clothes and shrugging into some PJ's.
"I couldn't sleep. I was waiting for you to get home. By the way, there were no chocolate cookies when I got in, liar" Katie props herself up on her elbows watching me climb into bed. I sink into my fluffy pillows, resting my tired head. I just wanna escape into a slumber, I don't wanna be up to think. Or especially be talking to my annoying sister.
"It was the only way I could get you to come home. Don't you get it? I don't wanna be bothered tonight, K. Not tonight. Just sleep." I point to her perfectly made up bed that's waiting for her.
"I don't even know what happened tonight Ems. Why are you so angry at everything? Just let it go for fuck's sake, I bet it wasn't even that big of a deal. But of course being the fucking stuck up cliche you are, nothing can not be a big deal to you."
I'm out of my bed before Katie can blink. I run over to her so fast, I'm not even sure my brain has processed the movements yet. I curl my fingers into a strong fist, swinging right for her jaw. I hit. And I hit pretty hard. Blood trickles down her lower lip immediately, and her eyes close. I gasp at my underestimated strength, looking down at Katie's lifeless body. I try my best to lift her dead weight into her bed, with much trial and error, I finally do. I check her pulse to make sure she's still alive, and climb back into my bed without an ounce of regret.
