chapter 7

Jo
Jo woke with a startle. She blinked and tried to work out where she was. It was pitch dark; the silence outside indicated it was the early hours of the morning. She sat up slowly. She was in bed... with no jeans on... what the?

She went to the toilet, washed her face and drank as much water as she could hold. She had a vague memory of leaving D's. She must have fallen asleep in the truck. Crap! Did Sean carry her inside? A small part of her was sorry she had missed that. She profoundly hoped she hadn't done anything embarrassing like try to kiss him or grab him. She didn't think she had; she was tired, not drunk after all.

She set her alarm; the last thing she needed was to be late for her second day.

She climbed back under the covers and closed her eyes. Wasn't he sweet? Tucking her into bed. Just as well it was like that and not the other way around. She had a ridiculous image in her head of her trying to put Sean to bed. Impossible. She did remember him stretching at the party. In fact, she thought that image might be seared into her brain for life.

Not with the partner... not with the partner... she reminded herself before she fell asleep again.

Sean

Sean made it home quicker than he expected, driving on automatic. He kept going back to the swell of her ass, half-covered in black lace. He shook his head; got to get that image out of his mind. And he had a suspicion that her bra would have matched. Oh, God. Those pert breasts also covered in black lace? And she was so pale, it would have been a beautiful contrast.

He kicked himself when his mind told him he should have peeked while he had the chance. What the fuck was wrong with him? He reached for his jacket and shook out a cigarette. He actually stared at his hand when it took him three tries to get it lit. He was shaking like a damned teenager.

He thought about anything else for a while, going over work, old cases, office politics... anything to keep that image out of his head. It worked until he made it inside and pulled off his shirt. It smelled like her perfume. He held it up and sniffed deeply. Frowning, he chucked it across the room. He couldn't sleep now. He walked outside and sat on the beach, just staring at the ocean until dawn.

Why was he torturing himself? Yeah, she was pretty. Apparently, his body thought so, anyway. He did want her. But it was just physical, it had to be. It had been a long time since he had sex. He'd only tried once since Stacy and it had been a disaster.

Jo
Jo heard the alarm go off and dragged herself out of the pleasant dream she had been immersed in. She couldn't remember what it was about now, but it had been nice, she knew that.

She threw herself out of bed and into the shower. She dressed in a functional pantsuit with low heels and put her hair up in a tight bun. She studied herself in the bathroom mirror as she applied some makeup. She was shooting for the professional look today.

She was still trying to process the fact that she thought her new partner had put her to bed. He had pawed her on the butt and taken her jeans off to put her to bed. She wondered if he had checked out her underwear. She still didn't know if she had done anything embarrassing but she didn't know how to ask. So she just wouldn't ask. If he said something, she would deal with it, but shewasn't going to ask.

So she was going to be professional. She had to get a cab to the office. She hoped her car would be allocated today. She picked up a coffee, walked to the office, flashed her badge and jumped in the lift to her floor.

Sean was not in yet. She had a computer today and a yellow post-it note with her access code and password written on it. And an underlined reminder to change it. She logged in and pulled up the files for this operation. Reading through it all again. It helped her to think.

She stared across at Sean's as yet, empty desk. No, she couldn't ask him what happened.

She had to buy some more wine; they had given away her bottle to Candace. She didn't really mind. She was thinking about Candace and D and their small family. A baby. They changed everything. They had made D fall back to a desk job, she supposed. Life changed things. She had seen it happen with her friends. Jo was 28 and a lot of her friends were hitting the engagement, wedding, baby shower stage. Even the previously career centred friends were.

Jo was careful with her heart these days; her mother would have said too careful. She had been engaged at uni. He was the love of her life and she had adored him. She had even passed the meet the parents test. But it wasn't until they started talking about how they were going to live after their marriage that she came to the stunned realisation that he fully expected her to give up working. He wanted her to be a housewife. He almost said 'no wife of his was going to work'. She was horrified. She thought she knew him. He met her at uni for heaven's sake. She was spending years getting an education and he didn't want her to use it? He was proud of her, but all her degree was going to do was hang on a wall somewhere. Oddly he seemed happy for her to work while she was at uni; she was a waitress in a restaurant. That was okay now, but not after they got married.

She loved him; and that somehow made it worse. She couldn't have changed him; she tried, but this was something that turned out to be a central pillar of his belief system. She called the whole thing off. Her friends split into two groups; the career women, who were sympathetic and the husband chasers, who were astonished. He was such a good catch. So she had dated since then, but she had never let it get serious again. Lots of boundaries and lots of rules. That usually made sure they didn't get too serious.

So here she was; now 28 and she had effectively had one serious relationship. For some reason, the move to the US was making her re-think all sorts of things. Was she here running away from the engagement, wedding, and baby shower stages? She had told herself she was here for her career, but now she was actually here, she wasn't so sure.

She was starting to think that she had done a lot of lying to herself.

Sean
Sean woke stiff and cold. He'd fallen asleep sitting in the sand. Crap, from the height of the sun, he was gonna be late to work. Great impression to make.

He dashed inside, showered, didn't bother to shave, no time. Found a clean, fitted button-down and black cargos. New pair of socks, boots. Took everything from his jeans and stuffed it all in his pockets. Threw them on the floor on top of the change that had spilled when he pulled his keys out of the front pocket of his jeans.

Ran outside, slamming the door behind. Jumped in the truck and roared down the road. He was gonna get caught in traffic, this late. Nothing to do about it except fume as he sat there in stop-and-go with the rest of LA's workforce.

He decided to stop and pick up coffee, anyway. Black for him and a cappuchino for her. A peace offering for being late. Yeah, right.

He hoped she wouldn't get pissy about him undressing her. He'd not been quite all there. A little loose from the beer. He had behaved himself.

He spent the next hour thinking about things he really didn't want to. Just like he had all night until he'd passed out from sheer exhaustion. Where was he going? Career... life. What did he really want? He'd just been marking time for months now.

He sighed. It was coming up on two years and he knew Stace wouldn't have wanted to see him like this. He smiled a little to himself, sadly. She'd have slapped him upside the head.

Maybe he needed to go and have a chat with her. He hadn't been to the cemetery in a while. Thought if he stayed away, maybe it would help him forget. Stupid. He was never going to forget.

He fingered the ring that he now wore on a chain inside his shirt. He'd not been able to look at it on his hand anymore. Kept seeing it covered with blood. He shuddered even now at just the thought. He'd really lost it.

That had never happened to him before that godawful day, and he had made damned sure it never happened again. Even if it meant he had shut down feeling much of anything. Better that, than behaving like a raging animal.

Oh, well. Time to man up and get something accomplished. He pulled into the mall lot and parked. Ordered coffee and used their bathroom to wash his hands and rinse his mouth. He remembered she hated the smell of smoke.

He looked at himself in the mirror and shook his head. Looked like crap. Like he hadn't slept in days. Very impressive. He snorted. Why was he trying to impress her anyway...? piece of fluff. He sure as hell wouldn't be her type.

FF_2154210_ - 7/06/2011 04:16:00 AM