A Bride for Booth

By LizD

Written May 2010 - July 2010

Chapter 7

Early August

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A day or two later Booth called Elizabeth at work and requested that she come home on time. It was out of the blue. He said they needed to have a discussion. Of course Elizabeth's first thought went to Brennan. She assumed that Brennan had called Seeley to tell him of their conversation. She convinced herself that that wasn't the case because he didn't seem angry and Brennan didn't seem the type to tattle - but if asked directly she would have no issue stating the facts as she saw them. She wasn't going to worry about it, in fact she was going to think differently. She spent the afternoon convincing herself that it was something romantic. He had been so distant the past several days, she just assumed that his switch was flipped again and that things would be better. They were set to meet at the apartment at 7PM.

When she arrived there was no dinner, no candle light, no flowers, no soft music, nothing that made her think that the 'discussion' was romantic. Booth was on the phone in a serious conversation which he ended quickly after she arrived.

"What's going on, babe?" she asked steadily.

"Come here, sit down," he instructed. "I am considering something and it will directly affect us so I want to discuss it with you."

"Sounds serious," she said.

"Important, more than serious," he confirmed. "I don't belong in Counterterrorism, Elizabeth. It's not me. I can't do the sitting-on-a-wire thing. I need to be more proactive. You know ... "

"Yeah, I can see that you are not happy with the work. You have plenty of options, even going back into the Army as long as they keep you stateside – which they will if -"

"I was considering going back to major crimes at the FBI," he blurted out.

Elizabeth felt the wind leave her sails. "I see."

"Yes ... I was talking to Caroline Julian today and she was telling me that they are closing about 60-70 percent of those cases these days and most of those have weak cases. When I was there - we were closer to 95 percent. It is what I do, it is who I am. And yes there are terrorists in the world who are not giving up the fight, but there are also criminals, murders right here at home that can be caught and taken off the streets one by one."

She nodded. "Beer?" she asked getting up to get herself one.

"No, I'm good."

She opened the bottle and took a big hit. "I suppose there are pros and cons to this option. So let's discuss the cons first."

"OK. Well, first would be the time factor. Working cases is 24/7. Not all the time, not every day, but there are times when calls will come in the middle of the night, or on the weekend, when we have other plans."

"And you will have to go."

"It's the job. It is also the job to follow the leads until you catch your suspect and that may lead to working late. So there will be dinners pushed or canceled."

"While I am not wild about that part, I can certainly accept it. Quality is more important than quantity, and if you are more satisfied with the work you are doing, I suspect that the time you are at home would also be more ..." she reached her hand out to stroke his arm. "More satisfying." He covered her hand with his, but leaned back and pulled his arm away slowly. The maneuver was not lost on her. "What else?"

"The very nature of the job is more dangerous. I will be hunting killers and other criminals. They tend to carry guns or might otherwise attempt to impede the investigation."

"So you are going to be getting shot at," she interpreted for him.

"I am very good at this job, Elizabeth. I don't want you to worry."

"Look, I have been a marine's wife. I know about sitting at home dreading a phone call, but it will be a little different as a cop's wife. It will be different when we have kids. It will be hard to plan a future with someone who may not live to see it. " She leaned back. "It was why William and I never had children."

"Yes it will. It will be different, but it won't be forever."

"What is the future Seeley? What do you see in five, ten, twenty years?"

"I'm not sure."

"Do you expect to make ... what Director some day? Be in administration?"

"I don't know. I am looking short term right now. One day at a time."

"Well I don't have that luxury," she said almost too harshly. "If I want to have kids, if WE want to have kids, we need to start thinking sooner than later. I am not saying tomorrow, but within the next two years."

"I know," he admitted. "As I said, I am just looking short term. How about a year ... a year in major crimes, just to get my life back, to feel like myself again and then we can revisit - everything, the job, kids … ."

"Marriage?" She looked away. "You want to revisit the idea of marriage and kids and your job in a year." It sounded bad when she put it like that.

"Yeah – well not the marriage part," he added as if he were offering her a concession.

"This doesn't feel like a discussion. This feels more like you have made up your mind and want me to just support you."

"No, that is not it at all."

"What about San Diego?"

"I don't understand."

"We talked about moving to San Diego. I assume the FEDERAL Bureau of Investigation extends to California. Would you consider going into major crimes out there?"

"I ... um ... I hadn't considered it."

"Do," she said directly. "Consider that you are asking me to put my life on hold in a city where I have no friends and no family and ultimately may be told in a year - more or less - that you have chosen your job - can't call it a career without hope for anything more, anything different - over your wife - if indeed we get married at all."

"Elizabeth." He reached out and tried to take her hand.

She pulled away and got up from the table. "Will you be working with a partner ... someone to watch your back?"

"That is typically FBI protocol."

She swallowed hard but had to ask. "What about Dr. Brennan?"

He gulped back his first reaction. "I don't expect that she will be going back out into the field with me or anyone else, but I honestly haven't spoken to her about this."

"Why not?"

"Why haven't I talked to her?"

"Why won't she go back out into the field?"

He didn't want to tell her about Brennan. It felt like he was breaking a confidence. "Before she went to Maluku there was a trial with a serial killer that really affected her. This ... person had kidnapped her and a colleague; it was only because they were geniuses and we had very good luck that they were able to be found and saved. Anyway, that trial was pretty touch and go - they had to give up their case in order to get a conviction on another. The killer nearly walked. Temperance's faith in the system was shaken. She needed to take a step back, so she went to Maluku."

"And you went to Afghanistan and now you are both back - except not completely, not until you make it back to major crimes. Why you didn't accept that position when you first came back?"

"Because we had talked about it and we decided that I should try Counterterrorism instead."

She sunk down in the chair that was farthest from him. "This isn't working is it?"

"What this are you referring to?"

"Us."

"Don't say that."

"I have to, you won't. I thought it would be better when we got back to the states. I didn't expect overnight change, but you are pulling further and further away from me. I know you are going through some stuff. I know about the insomnia, the dreams - all of them - but I can't help you - I can't be a part of your life if you won't let me in."

"I am doing the best I can," he protested.

"I know you are. I appreciate that, but I think we made a mistake."

"Don't say that." He got up to move toward her but she shook her head to keep him away.

"I knew you weren't in love with me when you asked me to marry you. Hell, I hadn't even considered whether I loved you or not. I was still in love with my husband and never expected to think about getting married again. I thought it would come in time. You are a good man, Seeley. I thought we could find the love we needed to make a good life with each other. I thought the more distance we put between us and what happened to you in Afghanistan - that you still won't talk to me about - I thought we would get closer. Fall in love - ya know?"

"We can," he protested.

"Maybe ... maybe we can ... maybe can't. But I am beginning to believe that the THING that happened - the explosion was just the last in a long line of things that you need to deal with – to get straight in your head. And I don't think you will be able to do that with me in your life - at least not with me in your bed. Though most of the time you aren't in your bed."

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying we need a break. We need some time apart. Maybe in a month or two we can talk again. We can decide if what we want is the same and if we want to work for that. If we do, however, there will need to be some major changes for both of us. I need to finally let my husband rest. It can't have been easy for you - I am still wearing his wedding ring." Booth nodded. For some reason it never bothered him that she was still holding a candle for her dead husband. It should have, but it didn't. "And you have a few ghosts of your own to bury before we can think about getting married and really talk about our future."

He was shaking his head, but he agreed with everything she said. "I'm sorry."

"Good, you should be," she feigned a smile. "But it is not all your fault. You were in a pretty bad place and I should have known better." She slipped the diamond off her finger and put in on the table. "I am going home. Back to San Diego. We can talk, ya know, after we have had some time to think."

He nodded. "You are truly an amazing woman," he said. "I would be a fool not to love you." He pulled her into an embrace. He was a fool but so was she.

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Angela was lying on Brennan's couch with a glass of wine in her hand. She had come to listen to Brennan read her latest book and give her comments and suggestions. All but the last chapter had been written and to be honest, Angela had little to add. The book was much darker than the previous ones, the killer was over complicated and the crime scenes were some of the most gruesome that Brennan had ever written. Agent Andy Lister was shot on page one and had spent the next 300 or so pages in the hospital in and out of surgeries and pretty much unconscious. Reichs had been working the evidence and chasing the shooter. Though throughout the chase the reader (listener) was witness to Reichs' internal monologue most of which had to do with the case and served as a replacement for the dialogue that would normally pass between Lister and Reichs. There were of course the occasional flashbacks that added the much needed lighter sexy scenes. But there was also a lot of internal dialogue about Reichs' feelings about working with Lister, about realizing the danger she was in and wanting to divorce herself from that life. Reichs took on too much of the blame for Lister's condition - at least in Angela's mind. But it was clear that it would be the last case for Lister and Reichs. Someone was going to die.

"Bren," Angela said without turning to look at her. "Are you going to let Lister die?"

"Let him die?"

"Yeah." She sat up and turned to her friend. "Do you really want to kill him off that badly?" Angela had always known - well everyone except Brennan knew - that so much of what Brennan wanted to happen in real life was worked out in her books - no always literally.

"I think there should be some resolution, something that should effectively end the partnership so that the reader isn't left waiting, hoping and wondering."

"Yeah, I get that. But why not kill him in the first chapter?"

"I thought leaving him in the hospital would be a reasonable way to motivate the Reichs character. If he died she would start the grieving process sooner. What would compel the reader to finish the book to see what happens?" Angela took a sip from her wine wondering what she could say to her friend who was clearly in a lot of pain. "Can I ask you something?" Brennan asked. "Is it true that a man will think his feelings are more than they are for a woman he has never had intercourse with?"

"You mean that whole 'hard to get thing'? Sure ... guys tend to want a woman who puts up more of a challenge."

"I see."

"But that has a pretty short shelf-life."

"I don't understand."

"If a man finds a woman interesting, but she isn't interested or she teases him. he might stay focused on her, but that is only until he finds the next woman who is interesting particularly if this new one doesn't resist. Men don't carry torches for women they don't love – really love." A realization came over Angela. "Are you talking about Booth? Sweetie, no."

"I saw his fiancée the other day. She implied that Booth was distracted in their relationship. She has a theory that Booth thinks he is in love with me because we haven't slept together and that if we do, he will get it out of his system and be able to more fully commit to their relationship."

"Well played, Nurse Betty." Angela shook her head. "She thinks that if she gives both you and Booth permission, it will end right there. Your love is no longer taboo. Smart cookie."

"I don't know what that means,' Brennan admitted. "She said that I was not Booth's type."

"Desperate men take desperate measures - and women are worse. She is losing him, sweetie." Brennan didn't want to hear that. "You know what I think of you and Booth and the state of affairs, sweetie. I think this woman knows she doesn't stand a chance of keeping him and is trying to get you to back away."

"I am not trying to break up his relationship, Ange. I want him to be happy."

"I know you do, sweetie."

"What do I do?"

"I told you."

"I can't do that Angela. I just can't." Angela's one consistent piece of advice is for Brennan to just tell Booth that she loves him and let the chips fall where they may.

"Then do nothing and let them work it out." Brennan didn't like that answer either. She was always better at being proactive. Angela didn't want her to dwell any longer on the issue. "So you really want this to be your last book with these two characters?"

"I think it is time," she said. "Time to move on."

Angela put her glass down and got up. "Send me the book and I will read through when I have had less to drink, OK?" She shook her head and frowned when she pulled on her coat.

"What?"

"It just makes me sad," Angela offered. "It makes me sad to think that they can't just walk off into the sunset, go live on a beach somewhere, make love and be happy."

"Does that ever happen?"

"Only if you make it happen."

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Brennan's cursor highlight Bones to Pick file on her system. She clicked over to include her journal. He finger hung over the delete key. It would be so easy. It would wipe out the evidence of last year. It would clear the plan she had to end Kathy and Andy. She could start fresh. But the last time she deleted a work in progress she regretted it. How would things have been different if she had finished that book? It wasn't a Reichs/Lister book, it was new, new characters, new relationships. The names would of course have to be changed, but maybe it would have opened up new possibilities. Maybe. She would let Angela decide.

She hit copy. Opened an email. Addressed it to Angela. And hit SEND. She would think about it later. The book was officially put on hold.