A/N: UGH! This chapter took forever to write, more Computer wouldnt save it and i had to keep rewriting it over and over, sadly i didnt turn out as good as I hoped :/
5-Star: Thank you :)
Jason gritted his teeth past the pain as his tired arms clutched onto the bars, forcing his leg to move another step and to try to support some of his weight. Three weeks ago he started his ''healing processes'' or at least that`s what everyone was calling it at the moment, really to him, he`d found a new definition of hell. Bruce had given him these new type of leg braces, telling him they would support his greater weight but he still felt the pressure.
Most people would be happy to realize that even in a wheel chair, they were still growing, no, not for him. Getting out of the chair made him realize the small growth spurt his body went through when healing, and in the weeks of using his chair and the bars for a type of therapy was giving him something on his arms and torso. To him it was just more weight to carry.
From the moment he started being able to walk, old pain was switched to new pain, anger was still raw and untouchable to him and it hit him thinking that this wasnt just the fact and the uselessness of his legs that brought it on, he was always angry, before he met Bruce, after and even more so when he was Robin and beating criminal faces in with his hands. Then he`d had an outlet, yet now it was just enough for him to try and bury it before he exploded.
Being able to feel his legs, even if he could still barley use them brought back some sort of confidence to him. Even through the nightmares, the one`s he finally realized he had to live with the rest of his life perhaps, yet he was the one doing the talking if there ever was any, the most frequent one was when he found Joker beat him with a crowbar in some rusty shack of an apartment then put a gun to the laughing clowns face, all through that, red was all he saw, like a tint. he didnt question it.
Sadly enough thought, Dick had to go back to his own city, having been away to long, that was soon after he could feel the ache in his legs. He`d miss having his brother there, yet he wasnt three, so he got over it quickly. Dick was still the worrying older brother though so he called often.
The thought raised another, in two days time he`s be going from scared and fearful fifteen year-old, to an angry, hope-fully less crippled sixteen year old. It wasnt much of a trade up, but what ever he could get in all this was good...right?
"Jason, you can stop now, you hour was over two hours ago." Bruce pointed out as he walked out of the med bay, clipping his cape on. He looked up frowning, ready to argue but he he took another pained step and allowed himself to collapse onto the mat, rubbing his hands over his soar hands. He looked up to see his father figure leaning on the bars next to him, frowning, "Jason, dont do that, you`ll just hurt yourself. take this slow."
"I`m tired of going slow." he growled, clenching his jaw as the mussels in his legs stung from the effort, he was good at hiding the pain now, as long as it wasnt in his nerviest system. He used his arms to help his legs into a crossed position under him.
"It`s better then being sent three weeks back." Bruce retorted, pulling on his cowl, "Get upstairs, get something to eat, then head for bed, you need your rest."
He rolled his eyes, "I`m not a child Bruce." a slight bit of spite in his voice, Bruce narrowed his eyes, "Then stop acting like one, go one, the storm is pulling in and we might lose power, getting stuck down here in the dark isnt the best idea."
"Whatever." he growled sourly as he reached out for his chair, pulling it close as he used the bars above to hoist himself up. With a tired sigh had rolled over to the elevator, not bothering to watch Bruce leave for patrol. The elevator door`s rotated shut and after a moment opened up to the study, he rolled out, looking up in surprise when the light`s flickered dangerously.
The house was old but it was stable, it had to be some storm to knock the power out in this castle like house. He jumped in since when thunder roared loud in the distance, rumbling out after a long moment. Taking a controlling breath he rolled to the dinning room to find Alfred setting up candles down the long table.
"Master Jason, can I trust you not to injure yourself while i get more candles?" Alfred asked handing him the lighter, he smirked, "Outta trouble, outta mind Alfie."
"That does not ensure confidence." The butler stated as he walked off.
He grabbed the side of the the table and pulled himself up and lite the first three candles with ease, sitting back down the rub the metal part of the lighter against his jeans to cool it down before lighting the next three. The lights above flickered, and he listened to the sound of the rain plastering itself against the window. His eyes darting to flame in front of him.
The bright orange flame, the yellow glow and the burning blue down at the bottom holding the light together. It was small, tiny as it flickered here against his to close breath, yet when he whisked his hand over the top of it, the heat hit his hand and spread over his palm like warm water, and there was always this warning in the back of his mind telling him fire was dangerous. leave it alone.
If he listened hard enough, he could still hear it, the loud crackling of the flames eating at the wood and the metal derby, the aftermath of the explosion. The beeping of those ten small seconds before his could-be death. Just over Bruce`s desperate yells for him to wake up he could hear it and feel the fire eating away at his skin, at the metal and wood itself. Yes...fire was dangerous.
A small jolt passed through his legs, forcing him to sit down in the wheel-chair once more. Was this his body`s way to telling him to stop? To come back to the waking world before he remembered too much? Before he was pulled back into the at night like so many times before?
He didnt know, nor care much, what he did know was that he was done lighting candles.
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"Jason stop this." Bruce snapped, he laughed loudly throwing a kicking into Batman`s masked face, making the man hit the ground before he landed next to the clown, he grabbed the front of his shirt and picking him up, holding him over the sudden edge of the building, the Wayne Enterprise tower, ready to drop Joker as far as thirty stories till he went splat on the side walk.
"Never." he growled his eyes locked on the man`s green eyes, laughter emanating from Joker`s clenched teeth, was he mocking him? Did he think he wouldnt do it, wouldnt just toss him? Either way this man was dying today, he was never going to be haunted by the memories and the laughing, that constant laughing ever again, he`d be free.
"Do it!" Joker whispered, "You want to be free, the do it and be as free as a bird."
And he did, he dropped him, a shuttering breath ripping through his sides in relief, he fell to his knees holding his sides as laughter burst through his lips, his hands went to his hand, pulling at his hair, his head, his head was killing him, it hurt, but he couldnt stop laughing. Loud and clear, he spun around seeing Batman, Nightwing, and Batgirl, staring at him with wide, frightened eyes as he continued to laugh.
"H-Help M-m-me." He pleaded Bruce shook his head and walked over to him, "Nothing can help you now."
and he pushed him, right off the roof top, he fell, arms reaching up in a slow motion action, then he heard it, the beeping and he closed his eyes, counting down from ten, just before he hit the sidewalk..
"No!" he yelled falling off the bed and hitting his head against the nightstand as he did so, hissing in pain. Rolling over onto his back he rubbed his head, pulling his hand back to see if it was bleeding, no, but it would bruise. He wiped away the cold sweat and looked to his legs to get him up only to find them aching in protest, not moving an inch, growling in hate he leaned forward, pulling his chair towards him and hoisting himself onto it, cursing the uselessness of his legs.
It was going to be one of those days. He pushed the wheels grudgingly over to the dresser, getting dressed was a slightly more irritating processes as of right now, having not just woken up on the wrong side of the bed but not in his bed at all. Looking at his closest he remembered what Roy had given him, maybe now was the time to use it? Just to get through this day?
He shook his head and rolled out of his room, hitting a small stand as he went through the hall, but catching the vase before it fell. "Damn it." he growled, placing it neatly back on the table, he headed to the kitchen, knowing he`d find Alfred there preparing breakfast. He didnt have anymore accidents on his way there thankfully but when he pushed the door open he was met by nervous bright blue eyes.
"Oh, Jason." Alfred smiled politely, "This is Young Timothy Drake, He will be staying with us for a few day while his parents are in Japan, I assume you will be on your best behavior?"
He looked at Alfred then at Tim who met his eyes every step of the way, Tim tried to smile but it was forced, he looked back to Alfred who looked slightly worried about his moment of silence, but he smiled, rather darkly, glancing at the kid from the corner of his eyes, "No problem."
