Hey hey everyone!~ How are we doing this wonderful, magically delicious (lucky charms lol) morning/afternoon/evening/night?! Hope you're all good! Anyhow, onto the next thing. Thanks a million to:
SectorSubjector
DeathMuncherWithaSideOfCrazy
Kanda Yu
kagaminehatsune
scrockangel
MaroThePanda
innocentrini
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XXThe wish GranterXX
1WordImagination
Yoru Inu
YagamiNeko
The Eccentric Otaku
Evakii
Funky Bracelet Chick
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xDazzledxPandax
MadHatter Kaz
Yayness, awesome people!~ -hands out giant, Hikaru and Kaoru-shaped cookies and evilly rips off their heads. Well anyhow, on with the story? :D
-Miharu and Mitsuki
Chapter Seven:
"TAI!" Rei yelled in surprise, grinning wide and running over to him. He smiled back just as cheerily and waved.
"Rei-kun," He smirked at the honorific. "How are things going here?"
Rei looked over at Tohru, hesitant, and Tohru made a signal. Suddenly, all three were speaking French.
"Tai!" Tohru exclaimed. "Que faites-vous ici ?!"
"Que, je ne peux pas visiter mes deux meilleurs amis dans le monde ?" Tai replied, looking mockingly indignant.
"Vous pouvez... Mais ce n'est pas pourquoi vous êtes ici, n'est-ce pas ?" Tohru said in a challenging tone.
"Ahh, vous m'avez reçu. J'ai voulu apprendre si vous les gars me devez déjà les réserves d'une année de pocky. Vous vous souvenez de notre pari, n'est-ce pas ?" Tai smirked again, brushing his golden blond hair out of his face, brown eyes taunting now.
"Fait taire, blondie. Ne parlez pas de l'opinion ici!" Rei yelled scoldingly.
"Pourquoi non ? Il ne ressemble à personne ici parle le français, en tout cas. Ils ressemblent à un bouquet d'idiots, à moi. Ainsi avez-vous fait une gaffe encore ?" Tai said with a shrug and a nonchalant gesture to the crowd surrounding them, squealing in bliss.
"Non. Pourquoi nous ? Nous ne sommes pas des bordels importants, à la différence de vous, Tai." Tohru said coolly.
"Ceux-là sont des mots durs, Tohru. Et après que votre bon ami est venu toute cette façon de vous surveiller. Bien, plus spécialement, pour surveiller peu de Rei ici." Tai complained.
"NE MOI APPELEZ PAS COURT, LA PERCHE!" Rei yelled in a defensive tone, her cheeks reddening.
"Perche ? Si je suis une perche, donc vous devez être une pousse de haricot, Rei-pon." Tai teased, and flicked Rei's forehead.
"FERMÉ LE BOUCHE!" Rei screeched, chasing Tai around the room.
Unbeknownst to them, there was someone in the room who could speak French—Tamaki. And so, with a confused look, he asked,
"Bet? What bet?"
The three friends froze in place.
"You… Speak French?" They said at the same time.
"Tama-chan is half-French!" Hunny piped up cheerily, waving a forkful of cake in Tamaki's direction before hurriedly shoving it into his mouth happily.
"No bet." Tohru hurriedly said. "You must have misheard."
"…Oh." Said the gullible Tamaki, and the trio of Canadians sighed in relief inwardly at his naivety.
"They're so obviously lying, milord." Hikaru deadpanned, having finally picked the lock to release him and his twin from the "sex offenders" cage. It was surprisingly easy… Probably because it was never locked in the first place. So how Hikaru picked a lock that did not exist is a profound mystery, indeed…
Anyhow, on with the story.
"Whaaa?" Tamaki droned stupidly, turning back to Rei, Tohru and Tai with betrayed, puppy dog eyes.
"Stop that," Tai deadpanned in English by accident. "It's not cute, ugly."
An insult arrow struck Tamaki right through the heart, (though he didn't know what the boy had said, it sounded like an insult) and he stumbled to the corner, crumpling into the fetal position, cultivating his mushrooms.
Tai laughed as Kyoya ushered all of the nervous girls out of the club, smiling politely and saying that club had to close up early and apologizing through gritted teeth. As the door closed after the last disappointed girl left, Kyoya turned to Tai with an icy smile that sent shivers down everyone's spines.
"So, Mr. Ishiguro, was it?" The glasses-clad host asked, and Tai shivered.
He leaned over to whisper to Rei. "H-How does he know my name?"
"H-He has the shinigami eyes, I think…" Rei stuttered back.
"I would appreciate it if you did not interfere with our club during its business hours." Kyoya smiled coldly. "So, clearly you aren't a student here, right?"
"N-n-no…" Tai said sacredly, edging towards the door slowly.
"Well, since you've just cost us roughly 300,000 yen with your little invasion to this club, causing the guests to leave, surely you must be prepared to pay off your debt, correct?" A smile, an evil glare flashing from the glass of his spectacles.
"P-pay off? B-b-but, I spent all of my money on the plane ticket here!" He whined.
"Oh? Then you won't be going back to your country for a while. To pay off your debt, you'll become the errand boy." Tamaki smirked in an out of character way. (Sort of like in the first episode when he says something along the lines of this to Haruhi…)
Tai had little chibi tears coming out of his eyes, sniffling pathetically. "B-b-but--! I dun wanna workkkkk!" He wailed.
"Augh! What a loudmouth!" Hikaru yelled, plugging his ears obnoxiously.
"Shut up, Hikaru! Don't diss my magically delicious friend Tai! Only I'm allowed to—OOF!" Rei yelled at the twin, but was cut off as Tai wrapped his arms around her shoulders and plopped his chin on the top of her head.
"Aww, you do love me…" He cooed to her, and Rei rolled her eyes. Suddenly, he smirked. "Ohh, and magically delicious, Rei-pon? Did you happen to taste me while I wasn't pay attention?" He asked, and Rei reddened.
"I—I didn't mean it like that, you perv!" She yelled, embarrassed, and detached herself from him, grabbing Tohru to stand between them.
"Rei, you should have seen that coming."
"Rrr…" She grumbled stupidly, and pouted cutely. "Everyone's on his side…"
"Aww, I can't help it, Rei. I'm sorry, I'm just too loveable for my own good." He smiled.
"Pff, narcissist much?" Rei deadpanned, and Tai retreated to Tamaki's emo corner, pulling out the mushrooms growing there and tossing them in a basket.
"She just doesn't understand, … She's far too young…"
"You're only six months older than me!" She snapped.
The host club, meanwhile, was watching the show with identical sweatdrops.
"Ne, ne," Hunny interjected gently. "Are Rei-chan and Tai-chan gay?"
The two bickering teens immediately froze, Rei looking awkward, Tai blushing heavily.
"OF COURSE NOT!" They yelled at the same time.
"I like the opposite gender!" Rei yelled. Hikaru smirked at this; what an obvious way to avoid saying that she was straight.
"I… Like women! But Rei, too." He smirked, mussing her hair. The host club took this entirely differently than Rei, who knew what the real meaning of his speech was.
"You stupid jerk!" She yelled in English. "Just what are you trying to say?!"
"Not much," Tai retaliated with a smirk. "Just that… Women usually have breasts, don't they?"
Hikaru watched, partially amused, partially annoyed, as even more colour flooded to her cheeks at her blond, half-Canadian, half-Japanese friend's comment.
"OOOH! I AM GONNA KILL YOU, TAI!! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME?! HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SPURNED!" She screamed, jumping on his back and pulling on his hair savagely.
"…No fury like a… WOMAN?" Tamaki repeated, wide-eyed.
"…SHIT." Rei cussed, frozen on Tai's back.
"Rei, you flippin' idiot…!" Tohru moaned, smacking her own forehead and mussing her orange hair in frustration with her friend's retardedness.
"I think you'd better explain!" Tamaki said sharply, crossing his arms over his chest, huffing in indignation.
"Oooh, you're screwed, Tohru and Rei…" Tai grinned hugely. "?!!!" He gasped as Rei shoved him into the "sex offenders" cage and locked the invisible lock. "Noo! I'm innocent, I tell ya, innocent!" He said mockingly, shaking the bars with a pitiful expression.
As this was going on, Tohru had seated herself on the couch and began to spin the tale of the practical, ginger-haired girl and her psychotic, spastic best friend, and the bet they made…
O N E H O U R L A T E R . . .
"Do you realise how much trouble you could get in if you are ever found out?" Tamaki asked them with a halfhearted glare.
Tohru's eyes flashed, and she smirked, crossing her arms across her chest and leaning back into the cushy, red velvet sofa. (Ooh, classy. Lol) "Ohh, you won't tell anyone, though."
"What do you mean? You seem so certain." Kyoya retorted coolly.
"Yeah, Tohru! Do you mean to say…" Rei smirked sadistically and held up a gleaming axe stained with red. " 'Dead men tell no tales' ?"
The hosts all shivered with 'WTF?!' faces, (Excluding Kyoya and Mori, of course…) and backed away. Hikaru then stepped forward after a long pause, grabbing the axe from Rei and snorting.
"Wow," He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "It's rubber. I'm sooo scared."
"I seriously wanna kill that dick". Said Fernando.
"Patience, Fernando. Our time will come…" She whispered to her left creepily.
"Seriously, what is wrong with you?" Hikaru mumbled.
"No, Rei. I was thinking more along the lines of… Haruhi." Tohru said, and with that one name, the hosts all froze and glared at her. Tohru gazed disinterestedly at her fingernails, unaffected by the swirls of rage coming from the men. "He is actually a she, is she not? It'd be a shame if the natural of your host club was exposed as a female in front of all of the school in an, ahem, unfortunate accide--!!!"
She gasped as Tamaki lurched forward, grabbing her by the collar of her shirt and hoisting her into the air, glaring viciously, apparently having forgotten that the ginger was, in fact, a girl. The rest of the hosts' eyes widened in shock.
"I swear, if you do anything that would put Haruhi in an uncomfortable position, I will not be accountable for my actions!" He hissed to the now terrified Tohru, who was struggling for air.
"Milord!!!" Kaoru yelled, jumping over the sofa from behind it and yanking Tohru from Tamaki, looking distressed. "Stop it, you don't know what you're doing! Snap out of it!"
Finally, Tamaki came back to reality after a few minutes of Kaoru's voice, and he bowed his head, bangs covering his face.
"Sorry. I think… I should leave…" He muttered, and walked out the door, for once, silently.
As the door shut once more, the host club (sans Tamaki and Kaoru) turned to glare at Tohru, who was shaking slightly under the glare.
"STOP THAT!" Yelled Rei, startling them all to look over to her. "She was just joking, lay off my friend!"
"Rei… No." Tohru shook her head, flinching with a guilty expression. "I took it too far." She said, bowing her head to hide her face. She took a deep inhale of air that sounded like a sob. "Sorry…" She gasped, running out of the room.
"Toh--!" Rei yelled, about to run after her, but Kyoya stopped her with his ever-monotonous voice.
"Mr. Matsuo, I think it would be best if you and Mr. Fujiwara refrained from returning to this club for at least a week, and also, do not speak to any members unnecessarily. Pass that along to your friend, as well."
Rei quaked pathetically, Hunny and the twins noted with a slight tinge of pity.
"It's happening again…" She said, her voice trembling, just like her body. She sobbed. "Why—Is it—Happ---Again?!" She practically screamed, turning on her heel and sprinting out before anyone could scream for her to come back.
"R-Rei-chan and Toh-chan looked really sad, guys…" Hunny whimpered, looking extremely guilty with teary eyes.
Mori nodded. "Ah."
Suddenly, the hosts went rigid. Why, you ask? Well, because there was a figure standing behind them whose aura was radiating waves of unadulterated fury at the group of exceedingly handsome men. They whirled around. Tai. They had completely forgotten he was there.
"Fucking bastards." He spat at them. "FUCKING. MADE. REI. CRY." He cracked his knuckles. "Must have a fucking death wish." He turned on his heel, but not before sending one last venomous glare their way and stomping out, muttering. "Glad I have more important things to deal with…"
"What… Was that?!" Hikaru said, his eyes wide.
"Hmm, something's going on…" Kyoya observed.
And from Fernando's place in the corner of the room, he snorted.
"No shit, Sherlock."
Phew! That was LONG. AS. FUCK. Do you know how long it took to write that shit? Our fingers'll be bleeding for days… But it's okay, because we bleed for you!~ -makes kissy faces at very creeped-out readers- ~Keep bleedin', keep, keep bleedin' love!~ (Song reference in the middle of speech FTW!
…Say, ever noticed that WTF (What the fuck) is FTW (for the win) backwards? So whenever you say "WTF", keep in mind that you are also, via letter scrambling, saying that it is epic win.
But enough about that. You know what to do, readers. If you have a comment, suggestion or opinion for this chapter, (or just want to give us some love, which is awesome, too, trust us. We love you for it. ;D) please do the right thing to save orphans' lives and help cure cancer (but not really), and…
R E V I E W ! ! ! ~
Yours lovingly and randomly,
-Miharu the chainsaw murderer with awesome socks and Mitsuki the super racist with the best gang of ninjas in the world.
