Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared out the window. It had been a day since his encounter with Abaddon, and he feared that she would show up at any second. He only hoped she wouldn't do so around Dean. He tapped his fingers on the window sill, his lips parting as the thought of Abaddon just dropping in and doing something terrible to Sam or Dean made him feel ill.
Dean was flipping through a magazine he found in the waiting room about recipes when the incessant tapping caught his attention. He looked up, his eyebrows squeezed together at the sight of an uneasy Castiel. Dean licked his lips as he slowly put down the magazine and stood up.
"Cas?" He softly spoke.
The former angel turned around. "Yes?"
Dean's eyes widened as he saw how much more pale Castiel seemed to be than usual. "Man, you look like you're about to be sick," he teased, grinning lopsidedly, but when Cas didn't laugh or even smile, Dean immediately frowned.
"You alright?" Dean asked.
Cas' eyes flickered downward to the floor and Dean knew the answer. The hunter stepped closer towards his friend, but Cas turned away.
"I am alright," Cas told him.
Dean shook his head. "No, Cas. I know you." He stopped walking. "You look sick and worried." But Dean sighed as he came to a conclusion. "It's about the angels, right?"
Castiel shot him a look that made Dean put up his hands.
"Whoa, what did I say?" Dean asked.
"The angels?" Cas squinted his eyes. "What about the angels?"
"You know... you're worried that they're coming after you, but Cas, if any of them come anywhere near here, I'll take care of them, and I sure as hell know you can too."
"I don't want to kill any of them."
"But they will die if they try touching you."
The way Dean was looking at him after saying that made something in Castiel's stomach turn, but he felt warm, and he even managed to smile a bit.
"I'm not the one you need to protect, Dean," he told him.
Dean returned the smile as he said, "Doesn't mean I still won't."
Castiel's smile widened. He felt safe, comfortable, and... at home. He didn't want to leave Dean's side. He wanted to stay with him, with Sam, in the bunker. He wanted the three of them to not be afraid of being followed, of being watched, or of being killed. He wanted to see Dean lying contently in his own bed, away from any sort of harm only to wake the next morning to a good breakfast.
He just wanted Dean to be happy.
And Cas knew that if Dean was ever going to get a chance at any kind of happiness, then he couldn't be in the picture. In a way, he silently thanked Abaddon for giving him a reason to walk away, because if he didn't have a reason, he would selfishly stay and pretend nothing around them was falling apart.
"Dean," Cas spoke, stepping forward until the gap between he and Dean was gone.
Dean took a deep breath. There was once a time where he would have hated how much of his personal space was taken up by Cas, though lately, being this close to Cas felt nice. Dean stared fondly at the former angel.
"Yeah?" He asked.
Cas wondered how he could even say it when Dean was looking at him in such a way. His vision was getting blurry, but he put his hands into tight fists to fight back any sort of emotion from breaking through. And he waited a bit before finally opening his mouth.
"Dean?" The two of them froze for a moment before whipping their heads in the direction where Sam was.
Sam stared at them, hooded eyes and parted lips.
"Sammy?" Dean's eyes were wide as he stared at his little brother, not able to believe what he was actually seeing.
"I'm alive," Sam breathed out. "I thought he took me."
"Who?" Dean began making his way to Sam's side. "A reaper?"
Sam nodded. "Yeah. He was, uh, he was telling me that it was my time to go, but..." He squinted his eyes. "But you were there and you told me to say 'no'. That's all I kept hearing, was you telling me to fight and say 'no'." His eyes shifted over to look at Cas and he smiled weakly at him. "Hey, Cas."
Cas returned the smile. "I'm so glad you're okay, Sam."
Dean could feel his eyes welling up with tears, but he ignored them as he smiled at Sam. "Yeah, 'cause he's a fighter. Aren't you, Sammy?"
Sam licked his lips and rested his head back down. "Yeah, but I just... I feel tired."
"Go ahead and rest. You had a long fight." Dean patted Sam's hand as Sam slowly closed his eyes.
Sam didn't want to sleep anymore, though. He wanted to just get up, to get back in and back to his life, but he didn't even have the energy to protest. Dean sighed in relief, real relief, all the relief he needed to feel. Sam was okay. He was alive. He could finally breathe.
"Whoever said you can't say 'no' to a reaper obviously hasn't met Sam," Dean said with a grin. He looked so proud of his brother that Castiel couldn't help but grin back.
The wonder of how Sam had managed to do so lingered in the back of his mind. No one can just say "no" to a reaper. Things didn't work that way, but Castiel didn't want to dwell on it, either. This was Dean's moment to feel better and he wasn't about to ruin it.
"After he's feeling up for it, we're out of here," Dean said, his grin still so bright. "All three of us," he added, and Castiel's smile fell.
Dean didn't notice the change on Castiel's face, though, as he continued to say, "We'll head back to the bunker, and just take it easy for a while unless an emergency shows up."
"Dean..." Cas tried to speak, but Dean only kept going.
"Yeah, and we can, ya know, just be normal for once." Dean walked over to the window, watching as a few people entered and exited the buildings across the street. "At least until Sam's completely better."
"Dean-"
"We deserve a break, don't we?" Dean asked, turning back around. "I think we've earned it." He smirked.
Castiel didn't say a thing at first as he merely stared at Dean, but then, he slowly turned around to face the door as he felt his eyes watering again. He nodded.
"Yes, Dean," he said. "You and Sam, deserve as much of a break as you can get."
Dean laughed and rubbed his hands together. "I honestly can't wait."
A tear rolled down Castiel's cheek and he shut his eyes tight, hoping it would prevent more from falling.
"I can't wait, either," he quietly said.
As night came upon them again, Cas stood by the doorway as he watched Dean sleep in the chair. Dean told Cas to head on to the motel for the night and he told Cas he would see him in the morning. Cas had told him the same, that's when Dean got himself as comfortable as he could get in the chair and drifted off quickly.
"Oh, how sweet," Abaddon whispered in Castiel's ear.
Castiel glared at her and she laughed.
"It's time, Castiel," she told him. "I'm not... I won't wait any longer."
"I understand." Castiel sighed as he looked back at the Winchesters, both fast asleep. He walked over to Sam's side and gently placed his hand on Sam's chest. His heart was beating, slow and steady, and Cas smiled.
"I must admit," he said, "It's a miracle that you are alive and recovering now." Cas turned around to face Dean, and he furrowed his eyebrows as he bent down.
"I would have stayed, Dean," he told the hunter. "I hope you can understand someday of why I couldn't." Cas placed his hand on Dean's cheek and felt how warm and soft it was. He gave Dean's face one last long look before leaning forward and pressing his lips against Dean's forehead. Dean stiffened, but remained asleep as Cas stood back up and walked over to join Abaddon's side.
Abaddon smirked as she walked out of the room with the fallen angel following behind. Castiel didn't even bother to look back. He couldn't. It was too much, and it would only make him want to stay even more than he already did.
I'd be a more of a mess if he wasn't here. Cas recalled what Dean said about him to Sam. I think this time, he really is staying.
He inhaled sharply as he and Abaddon exited the hospital. He could not allow his emotions get the better of him. He had a choice to make. It was either him, or the Winchesters were to be killed, and he knew he had chosen the right path. Dean would understand when he found out the truth. He would. Cas knew he would.
Where are we looking first? Cas asked Abaddon as they just continued to walk.
The Knight of Hell only smiled as she said, Nowhere.
Castiel halted in his tracks and when Abaddon noticed, she rolled her eyes and turned around.
What do you mean? Castiel asked her.
Abaddon smiled as she walked up to Castiel. I mean, little angel, that we aren't going on a some sort of journey together for the search of other angels.
Cas narrowed his eyes at her. She was threatening, intimidating, but she didn't exactly frighten Cas. Then why am I here? He asked through clenched teeth, because if she didn't need him, there was no point in him following her around.
Because I need bait, Castiel, she said, her devilish smile returning, And you're it.
Castiel's eyes widened as his jaw dropped open slightly. He shook his head. This wasn't part of the plan, but the way Abaddon was smiling at him, he knew she wouldn't care. She had her own plan, and he wanted to ask her how long she planned on doing this and if she ever intended on telling him, or if this plan was a last minute thing. Perhaps it was why it took her longer to arrive than he thought. Either way, his heart began to race at the thought of having to be vulnerable, and surrounded by all the angels who wanted revenge on him.
That wasn't what you told me, Cas said to her.
Abaddon crossed her arms as she stepped back to give them space. I told you now.
That isn't what I mean.
I could care less of what you mean, Castiel. I know what you were planning on doing yesterday when I found you at that church. Castiel blinked and looked down at his feet as she went on, You wanted to make a deal with Crowley to try and kill me. Abaddon laughed a little before her face became stern again. But you forgot one thing... You cannot stop me. And if you thought the suppose King of Hell would help you, then you are more weak than I suspected you to be, because that King is nothing but a joke. I'm the queen. I'll be a better ruler to Hell than Crowley ever was when I'm done here, and you will be part of that reason. She placed her hands on her hips.
I know the angels want you dead, Castiel. It's only obvious, and I know they would be anywhere in a heartbeat if they knew of your whereabouts. That's why, I'll make a trap. You'll do as I say and once an angel is captured, we'll move on to another until I've gotten enough up to the point where the others will just have to sacrifice themselves to me.
This won't work, Castiel told her. You have this planned out, but it has its flaws.
Abaddon smiled and shook her head. Don't we all, little angel?
Castiel merely glared at her.
She pointed her finger at him and then at her. Now you come with me and we'll get started. She turned on her heel and resumed walking, and Castiel waited a second as he looked back at the hospital, the ache in his chest becoming more evident, before following Abaddon.
