AN: Hi everyone! I'm so happy so many of you are enjoying this series, especially those who take their time to review it! I love reading some of your theories for where this story is going. Some of you are pretty spot on ;) I'm writing to let you know I won't be updating as frequently as before. Classes started back up and that's my main priority. However, there are about three or four more chapters to this story (we're getting near the end!) so the wait shouldn't be too bad. Only thing is, the chapters will be shorter than what you're used to- sorry about that. Anyway, thanks for sticking around! x


"Will you slow down?"

The irony of Barry's request was not lost on Iris; she just didn't care to listen.

"Iris, please, we need to talk," Barry pleaded, matching her pace easily.

Iris rolled her eyes and maintained her stare fixed ahead of her, "There's nothing to talk about, Barry."

Barry reached for her hand, stopping her from progressing. She swung it out of his hold, not enjoying his touch as she normally would.

"I really think we do," Barry commented, raising his hand and using her disgust with him as evidence.

She crossed her arms.

"Fine, let's talk," she agreed, "Let's talk about how my husband's chasing some skirt in the office!"

Barry was taken aback momentarily, "Caitlin's not some skirt."

She screeched and bitterly laughed in disbelief.

"Regardless of what I've done or how I'm behaving," Barry continued, "You shouldn't disrespect her like that."

Her eyes were wide with mistrust as she shook her head, not wanting to hear her husband defend a woman he wants to sleep with.

"I'm your wife, Barry! Me! Not her!" She yelled.

Barry looked behind him at the still visible opening from where they left their friends, "Keep your voice down, please."

"Keep my-?" She laughed, "Why? So your mistress won't hear me?"

She yelled louder than before, so Barry took her hand and moved her farther from the training center.

"Let go of me!" She demanded.

He released her hand and said in a much softer voice, "She's not my mistress."

"No, you just want her to be!" She accused, venom dripping in her voice.

He stared at her fiery eyes and the way her eyebrows furrowed and dug down close to her lashes. He felt a tightness in his chest he'd often feel whenever they would argue and thought back to all those times he'd released the anger when he stared at his wife's face- unable to keep fighting. He wanted so badly to want that. But instead, the woman in front of him infuriated him, and he no longer wanted to be placated by his obsession.

"And if I do?" He yelled back, causing Iris's facial features to soften immediately, "At least she makes me feel something. At least she supports me!"

"What are you talking about? I support you."

"Do you?" He challenged, "Because lately, all you've been doing is criticizing me."

She shook her head and turned around, "This isn't you talking. It's Desire."

Barry used his speed to get in front of her, "No, actually. This is me. You're just upset I'm not who you want me to be."

"And who do I want you to be, Barry?"

"Eddie."

His voice was a whisper, almost like he just realized it himself.

They both paused, and let the weight of Eddie's name hang in the air around them. It had been so long since either of them heard that name; the main taboo in their relationship.

"I don't-"

Iris began to explain, but Barry interrupted, "He was normal, good to you. He was a leader in the field, but in the relationship, you always had the last word. You were always too good for him, and he knew it, so he did everything to make you happy."

Iris closed her mouth and looked away.

"I'm not Eddie. I'm not going to be manipulated like him. Not anymore."

He saw a glimpse of sadness in her eyes before she turned around and balled her fist, "Just fuck her already, then!"

Barry's heart skipped a beat, "What?"

"Caitlin is making you like this. I want it to stop," She expressed, then whispered, "I want my husband back."

He took a deep breath and touched her shoulder, making her turn around and placed her arms around his torso. He hesitated before hugging her back.

Iris dug her face into his shirt, "I've missed you."

He stared at the floor, lost in thought. Thinking about the time he spent in the speed force and how on some days (Months? Years?), the only thing that would keep him sane was thinking about Iris's embrace. But as her arms tightened, clutching her close to him, he felt hollow.

She loosened her hold and gave him a smile before leaning in to kiss him.

He turned his face away.

"I won't be manipulated, Iris," he emphasized, breaking the hug.

Her hands found their way to his chest and she pressed hard, causing him to step back. Her rage built up again.

"Don't you see that's what Caitlin is doing to you? She's manipulating you!"

Barry shook his head and he looked down at his wedding band. His other hand toyed with how loose it fit around his finger, "This isn't about her."

He knows it's easy to assume it was. Lately, being around her made him think and feel all sorts of things. But he suspected that whatever is happening with Caitlin isn't the cause of his broken marriage.

Iris's hands went to her hips as she stared at his anxious hands, "Then what is this about, Barry? Because as far as I'm concerned we were doing fine before Desire got inside your head."

When he stared into her eyes, Barry thought back to various moments in their relationship. How reluctant she was to get him back from the speed force. How angry she got that he left her to save the world. Her self-proclaimed leadership over the team and himself. The cold way she told him how she hated the book his mother read to him as a child, implying his mother wasn't there for him out of choice.

He thought of Savitar- the person she made him become.

He saw the way some frown lines were deeply embedded on her skin, and how he's seen them more and more often lately. He thought of how they haven't laughed together in a long time. How they argue, how they communicate…

They brought out the worst in each other.

"We weren't doing fine," he stated as he removed the band and gazed at it for a moment.

He grabbed her hand and placed the band in her palm.

"We weren't," he repeated and began walking backward, ignoring Iris's demands for a further explanation. He turned and felt a sharp pain in his chest.

This wasn't easy, but it was necessary.