A/N: Hi everyone. So I know it's been a super long time since I've updated this story, and I want to apologize for that. School has been crazy that's for sure. I promise to keep posting updates though even if they are spread apart. Anyways, here's the next chapter, and I hope you guys enjoy it. I definitely enjoyed writing it. :D

Chapter 7

The past couple of days had turned into a routine for Shepard, and she couldn't help but feel relieved about it. One of the reasons she had joined the military in the first place was her love for order. It wasn't that she hated mixing things up every once in a while, but she liked getting up at the same time every day and knowing that she had a purpose to fulfill. She supposed this was all because of her experiences on Mindior and Akuze. When something so unexpected and horrible happens, it was nice to cling to something constant. The Alliance gave her that, and after the couple of years she had lived through recently, a routine was the most comforting thing in the galaxy.

So she stepped into it with full force.

She would wake up each day early and begin therapy for her injuries. While her cybernetics and surgery had fixed most of them, she still had significant muscle tearing in her right shoulder and her left leg. Although those both would take time to heal, she wasn't a patient woman. It frustrated her to be handicapped in any way. So, she pushed herself as much as she could.

After therapy in the morning, she would rest. Usually, some of the crew who wasn't busy would come and talk to her. It was so nice to see all of them alive. By now, she had talked to just about everyone on the ship.

Then, she would return to therapy in the afternoon and wouldn't stop until the evening. By then, she was exhausted but satisfied. As long as she was doing everything possible to get better, she was content.

Although there was something that kept bothering her. She was having nightmares constantly. Sometimes she would see the faces of those that had died, Ashley, Mordin, Thane, Legion, The Illusive Man, and Anderson. They haunted her. She would relive their deaths over and over again. Other times, she would experience her entire battle for Earth. That was even worse. She had so much doubt about whether or not she had made the right choice on the Citadel. What if she hadn't? What if the galaxy would've been better off if she had chosen differently? She knew it was too late to change it now, but these thoughts plagued her mind.

She had finished her therapy earlier and was resting in bed when the door opened and interrupted her thoughts. She looked up. It was Admiral Hackett.

"Hey Shepard, damn, it's good to see you in one piece," he said as he walked toward her and sat down.

He looked tired. The Reaper war had certainly aged him. Shepard could tell.

"It's good to see you too sir," she replied.

"Hmm," he said smiling. "You don't have to call me that anymore Shepard. We've been through too much together. Call me Hackett or even Steve if you want to."

Shepard laughed softly.

"Alright Steve...umm…Hackett?" she said awkwardly. "That'll take some getting used to."

They both smiled. He put his hand on her shoulder.

"How are you holding up Shepard? The last time I spoke with you; you were on the Citadel, and it sounded pretty rough up there."

He paused and looked at her seriously.

"After seeing it blow up like that, I thought we had really lost you Shepard."

"Yeah," Shepard replied. "I didn't think I would make it either. It still feels so surreal. I'm thankful to be alive, but I don't feel like I should've made it. It blows my mind."

"I'm sure it does."

They were both silent for a moment.

"How are your injuries?" Hackett asked.

"Many of them have healed up, although the last few are taking their time. My cybernetics and countless hours of surgery fixed most of it, but I still have some bad muscle damage that requires therapy," she said and began to frown. "It's frustrating begin cooped up here while most of galaxy needs help rebuilding"

"There will be time for that when you're well Shepard, don't worry. We've got a lot of work to do."

"How is the relief on Earth coming?"

"It's slow, but we're doing alright. There's just been so much damage to large cities. The Reapers knew that was where most of the population resided, so they took them out first. It took decades to build those cities in the first place, and it'll take at least that much time to repair them."

"Yeah, you're right. The Reapers…they destroyed so much," Shepard said bitterly.

"They did, but the important part is that we defeated them Shepard, and it wouldn't have been possible without you," Hackett said as he stood up. "Which reminds me, I came today because I wanted to see how you were doing, but I do have some Alliance business to attend to while I'm here. I'll be straight with you. Some of it's good, and some of it's bad. Which one do you want to hear first?"

"I guess start with the bad."

"Alright. Well here it goes. As far as we know Shepard, you and Anderson were the only two people who made it to the Citadel during the Battle for Earth. Anderson was killed, so that leaves you as the only survivor who knows what went on up there."

Hackett paused and looked down.

"I hate to ask this of you, but the Alliance is getting a lot pressure from the rest of the galaxy to find out what happened up there. There's a lot of questions that have been left unanswered. I need you to tell me everything. I'm going to make it as easy on you as I can though. No cameras, no extra personnel, just me and you in a room. It'll be a quick debriefing."

Shepard's heart sank. This was the last thing she wanted to talk about. Soon, everyone would know what happened at the Citadel, and she wondered how they would react. Would they agree with her choice or not?

Hackett saw her face fall. "Damn," he thought. He didn't want to make Shepard go through that hell again. She had been through enough for a lifetime.

"Listen Shepard," he began. "I don't know what when on up there, and I'm sure it's something you want to forget, but we've got to know."

Shepard knew Hackett was right. They couldn't just leave that part of the battle a mystery forever, and she was going to have to face her insecurity over it at some point. This was just something she would have to do.

It was quiet for a few moments before she spoke up.

"I know. And I'll tell you everything. But on one condition."

"Alright"

"I want the crew to be there, when I tell you what happened. Both the current and former members. They deserve to know what happened from me personally. They were there. Every step of the way."

"I'll see to it that they're all present. The ones who can't be there in person I'll get on comms. We'll get it done tomorrow."

Shepard nodded. It would be a tough day. She hoped she would be able to keep it together. Then she remembered there was good news too.

"And the good?"

Hackett smiled.

"Shepard, what you did during the war against the Reapers was remarkable. No one else could've brought together an entire galaxy. The Alliance recognizes that, and we want to reward you for it. We came up with a new medal, a medal that only goes to those rare individuals who fight with talent and skill on another level, those who sacrifice everything for the cause, and those who bring hope to people who seem to have lost it all. Shepard, the Alliance wants to give you the David Anderson Memorial Medal. Will you accept it?"

Shepard blinked away the tears that suddenly appeared in her eyes. She missed Anderson, but it was good to know that the Alliance realized the amazing things he had achieved.

"I accept," she said.

"Good. Well, I've got to get going and get the comms. ready for tomorrow," Hackett said as he reached out his hand. "It was really good to see you Shepard. Hang in there."

They shook hands and nodded.

"You too Hackett. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Oh and Shepard?" Hackett said turning around before he reached the door. "When you get better, drinks are on me."

Hackett smiled and Shepard returned it.

"Wouldn't miss it Steve."


Later that night, Garrus entered her room. That was another part of her new routine. Garrus had been staying with her in the hospital since she had woken up. It was nice to just be with him again. She looked up and smiled.

"Long day?" she asked.

"Yes. Extremely long. Victus is in over his head right now with all of the reconstruction on Palavan. There's just so much to do, and he doesn't stop reminding me that he needs me there to help him," Garrus replied.

He smiled at her.

"Don't worry though," he added. "I told him I've got something much more important to take care of here on Earth."

Garrus climbed in bed and carefully wrapped his arms around Shepard. Although she would never admit it, her injuries were causing her a lot of pain, and he didn't want to make it any worse.

Shepard snuggled close to Garrus. Being near him was already making her feel better about her conversation with Hackett earlier that day.

"I'm glad you're here," Shepard replied seriously. "You'll have to go back at some point though, and when you do, I'm going with you."

"I wouldn't have it another way Shepard," he said as he turned to look at her face. She was smiling, but her eyes were sad. Something was wrong.

"Is something bothering you?" he asked.

"Hackett came and visited me today. It was really good to see him, but he told me I needed to tell what happened on the Citadel during the battle for Earth. I agreed to do it, but only if the present and past crew from the Normandy could be there to hear it too."

"Oh."

Now it made sense. There had been a couple of times over the past few days where Garrus had tried to bring up that subject with Shepard, and she'd shut him out completely. He eventually stopped asking, but it bothered him. Shepard had always been open with him in the past. Whatever happened up there must have been traumatic. He decided to give it one more try.

"Shepard," he said as he ran his hand through her hair. "What happened up there?"

Shepard sighed. She supposed she could tell Garrus some of it. Maybe it would help if she got it out of her system.

"I had to make a choice Garrus," she began. "A choice that would change the fate of the galaxy forever. When I was in that moment, I was sure that I had made the right decision. But now? I don't know. I'm afraid that when I tell everything that happened up there, people will think that I got it wrong."

Her voice broke on those last words. She couldn't help it. She wished she never had to make that choice; it was too much of a burden to place on one person.

Garrus held her as she buried her face into his shoulder. He realized that was all she was going to say about it now, and he wouldn't ask anymore. This was something far more upsetting than he'd realized. When she looked up, he put his hand on her face.

"Shepard, you were our leader. I think I can speak for the entire crew when I say that we always respected your orders and decisions," he said seriously. "Even when they took us to hell and back."

Shepard regained her composure and began to wipe the tears away.

"Yeah, that did happen quite a lot," she said.

"But the thing is Shepard," he added and looking straight into her eyes. "We always made it back. And that's thanks to you."

She smiled and shook her head.

"How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?" she asked.

"I don't know. I just say what I'm thinking and hope it works." Garrus said.

Shepard raised her eyebrow at him and began to laugh.

"Wait, damn. That sounded bad." Garrus said.

"I guess it doesn't always work, huh?" Shepard replied still laughing.

She then placed a kiss on his cheek where his fading scars were.

"I love you Garrus."

He turned her face forward and answered with another kiss.

"I love you too Shepard."