I apologize that it's been taking me so long to update, I warned you guys that these would slow down and I've been pulling 12 hour days, so I haven't had much time to write and this one is on the shorter side, but I hope you guys enjoy it!

I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors, I only did a quick edit on this chapter.


Erin POV

"We need to talk,"

I'd been waiting for this since we pulled away from the city. Not so much waiting. Maybe dreading. I'm not sure. But we'd been almost tiptoeing around each other all weekend, emotionally at least, putting off actually discussing what we needed to with lots of sex. But this is where it's all going to come out, no holds barred, everything on the table. As much as I'd like to not do it, we both know that it's necessary.

"I know," I say as he takes a stop on the other end of the couch, my toes rubbing against his thigh. "We do,"

"I know it's been a big adjustment," He says as he rubs his hand over my knee. "And it's been a struggle with Eloise, but I need you to talk to me babe. I can't do anything if you're going to push me away. I want to fix this. I need to fix this,"

"You can't." I say softly, "You can't fix this,"

"What do you mean?" He demands.

"She's your sister. And more than that she's your responsibility, she has you and Will, that's it. The rest of her family is gone," I tell him, tears starting to brim in my eyes as I speak to him. I knew that this was going to be hard, but I didn't expect it to hit me so fast.

"She has you," He claims, his eyes widening as he looks over at me.

"But does she?" I refute. I would love if she had me. I want to be there for her, but she's pushing me away. I kept trying to get close to her, but she just kept pushing and eventually, I stopped trying.

"You're my family, you always have been Er," He says, pleading with me as this point. I hate having to see him like this, that pain in his eyes. And even worse than that, I know that the cause of this pain is me.

"Jay as much as I love hearing you say that, she's your blood. She has to be your priority right now and this sounds horrible and awful, but I just cannot deal with being second right now." I tell him, finally gathering up the confidence to say what I've been thinking this entire time. "I had a plan for how this was going to go and I don't know how to deal with things when they're like this,"

"What are you saying?" He says quietly, the volume of his voice decreasing with every second.

"I'm saying that we used to be able to understand each other with just a look. I wanted us to fit seamlessly together. I wanted us to meld into a family of four effortlessly, but that's not how it's going. It's you and me and then it's you, Will, and Ellie. We are a couple, but you are a family,"

"Baby you know that it's so much more than that," He tells me, grabbing my hand and holding it between his, the roughness of his palms so wonderfully familiar.

"Jay, just listen to me please." I beg him. I didn't think I was going to do this, every time it came up in my head I would force it back down. But with every statement, it just becomes that much more clear. "I think we need to take a break."

"What?"

"I love you, so, so much. You've given me things that I never thought I could have, things I didn't think I deserved. It was you who showed me that I did." I tell him.

"You deserve the world," He insists.

"Jay, just let me finish please, you aren't making this any easier," I say, tears starting to stream silently down my face. "I love you. And I want to stay. But you need to figure out your family before I can figure out if I can be a part of it,"

"Erin,"

"I'm sorry," I tell him, "I love you, but I can't do this, not right now. You need to figure out your life. You won't be able to do that with me here,"

"Erin you are my life," He tells me, tears brimming his eyes. I've seen a lot of things and I've made it through a lot of things, but for seeing tears in his eyes is just something that makes my heart break into a million pieces all over again.

"No, Ellie needs to be your life. At least right now," I tell him, reaching down and swirling his ring around my finger, a new nervous tic I've developed, the stone catching on my middle finger. "I think I'm going to stay with Kim for a little while,"

"Erin, you promised." He says. "That first night, you promised that you weren't going anywhere, you said you wouldn't leave,"

"I'm not leaving," I almost yell at him.

"What the hell are you calling this?" He demands.

"I'm giving you some space to find your footing, I'll be here when you figure it out. But while you're doing it, I can't be here. I'm sorry," That's are my last words before I dash out of the room, tears streaming down my face and feeling more alone than I have in my entire life.


"Are you going to be okay today?" Kim asks as we sit across the kitchen table, cups of coffee in both of our hands.

After catching a flight home from Wisconsin, Kim picked me up at the airport and we swung by the townhouse to pick up some clothes. Luckily Will was out with Ellie at that point and I didn't have to face either of them. But today is the first day that we'll be back at the office together. As partners. Pretending like nothing is wrong when in reality everything is wrong.

I haven't heard from him since I left the cabin, so much as seen him. I know that's it's going to be weird. I don't have any idea where we stand. I'm not living with him, but I still have the ring on my finger. It's not like I have the intention of breaking up with him, but we both needed some space. That conversation was supposed to clear the air, but I think all it did was create more unanswered questions. Going into it, I didn't even think that it was going to end like that. But through each word, I knew that it was what I had to do. Even if I didn't want to.

"We're grown ups and we know that the job comes first, we'll be able to figure it out," I tell her, not really believing the words flowing out of my mouth but sincerely hoping that they'll become true. Jay and I have never been normal partners. Even when the idea of being together was foreign and far out, there was always flirting. There was always that sense of someday. But it's never been awkward.

"Alright, but if you need to tag you out, let me know okay? I've got your back," She assures me.

"I know, thank you again for everything Kim," I tell her again. She's been so great through all of this and I know that she is behind me, whatever I need. It's kind of amazing to have someone like that. Well another someone.

"Us girls gotta stick together right?" She says with a lighthearted smile.

"You got that right Burg," I say, returning her grin, hiding a much deeper sadness within me. I haven't slept since I left that cabin. I haven't been able to. My wall of pillows just doesn't suffice, it isn't the curve of his body that fits perfectly to mine. The faint scent of his shampoo lingering in the sheets. The soft snores, the ones that aren't enough to keep me awake but enough to let me know that he's there. All the things that have become familiar to me over the past two years, all gone.

"We've got to get going, I'm going to go grab our guns. Can you clean up a little bit in here? Just throw everything in the dishwasher, I'll deal with it when we get home,"

"Yeah course," I tell her before gathering the dishes from the table.

"Thanks," She says before dashing out of the room, headed for the safe in her closet holding both of our guns.

"Let's go," She says as I holster the weapon on hip. And now we just hope that it all goes okay.


It didn't go well. It didn't go well at all. And all four days since I've been back have gone exactly the same way. The two of us were civil with each other, but there was a certain iciness lingering between us. Nobody else picked up on it, except Voight. He hasn't said anything to me in the last couple weeks, but I can tell her knows. But we haven't given him any reason to question the two of us, so he's been keeping his distance.

But the hardest thing about work is just having to be around him, not being able to send the flirty glance or the quick kiss on the forehead in the break room after a cup of coffee together. It's all gone. And I want it back. I know he does too, but for right now, he needs to focus on getting his life together. He needs to figure out how Ellie can be apart of his life. And until then, I can't be.

The worst thing has been driving together. When it's just the two of us, there's no possible buffer. I just want to reach over, lay my hand over his and give it a squeeze. But those days full of sarcastic banter and inconspicuous touches have turned into long stretches of silence, the tension so thick you could cut through it with a knife. I hate it. I hate it so much. And the worst part is, I know that I can change it all with a few words. It's all in my hands, but he needs this. Even if he can't see it right now.


Ellie POV

I don't know what the hell happened at the cabin, but what I do know is that my brother came back alone with a scowl on his face. And he's been a holy terror to deal with ever since then.

He hasn't said anything to me or Will about it. I didn't expect him to say anything to me, we aren't necessarily close and even if we were, he wouldn't want to talk to his sixteen year old sister about the fallout of his relationship. That and the fact that I'm almost positive that it has something to do with me.

Will has told me time and time again that it's not my fault, but what else could it be?

From what I've heard from almost everyone, Jay and Erin have been stable as hell for a very long time. They got together years ago and they've only had a few bumps in the road, most of them involving Erin's father Hank. That's at least what I've heard from Will and occasionally from Kim when I have to sit in at the district.

Enter me and less than a month later, she's moved out and he's moping around the house. I want to say something, but I don't know what to say. Like "Hey sorry that your fiancee left you because our father had a secret daughter that you are now in charge of," Yes. That would go over so well.

Will and I have just been walking on eggshells around him. Neither of us wants to say the wrong thing and set him off. The smallest things have been making him crazy. Like a sock left on the staircase warrants five minutes of screaming. I get that he's taking his anger and sadness out on me, that's fair. I did the same thing to him and none of that was his fault. This is my fault.

I didn't really get close to Erin, my fault on that. I didn't allow her to get close to me. I chose not to like her and then she kept her distance. But that was only because I felt like she was trying to replace my mom. She wasn't. I know that now. She was just trying to help. She's probably a really great person, she had to have been for Jay to fall for her, because from what I know of him, he's pretty amazing.

And as much as I'm hesitant of Erin, she makes my brother happy. Really happy. And he deserves that. So I'm going to do whatever I need to do to bring her back. Or I'm going to try my absolute hardest. I owe them at least that.


Don't hate me! But trust me guys, everything will be okay. Eventually. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm not completely confident in it, but I did want to get something up for you guys. Thanks for reading!

Also, on another note, I'm thinking of starting a new fic that will be a very different story line than anything I've ever written, involving a bit of an AU version of Linstead in college, so let me know if you guys would be interested in that.

Please review,

Addie