Title: Giving up
Chapter: 6
Rating: PG
Summary: Luke fights the rest of the world
Characters: Luke, Noah, Emma, Aaron, Casey, Mr. LaDue
Genre: Drama, AU
Warnings: sad, sad Luke
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

Luke remembered his 5th birthday, his grandmother Emma had showed up in his daycare with the biggest cake little Luke had ever seen. He remembered running up to her and hugging her legs before she lifted him up in her arms, where Luke had flung his arms around her neck and hugging her, after giving her a big kiss on her cheek. He remembered hearing her laughing as she hugged him tight to her body.

She had put him down on a stole at the table where the cake stood on, he remembered looking at it and thinking that, that was the coolest cake someone had ever made. He looked around at all the other kids who were starting to get seated around the table, and he smiled. Because he knew that they were there to celebrate him.

Luke woke with a gasp and blinked his eyes, and for a few moments he just laid there and stared up into the ceiling. He wished that he could make today be over just by blinking his eyes. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut and kept them closed for a few seconds, before he dared to open them again. Groaning he got up from his bed and ran a hand his hair. He made his way to the small bathroom where he quickly striped out of his clothes and stepped under the cold water.

The first birthday after his grandmother had died; Luke opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. He felt a stab in his heart when he thought about his grandmother not being there. He looked at the picture standing on his desk, a picture of him and his grandmother. Her with her arms around him and they were both smiling at the camera.

The next thing that caught his attention was an envelope, which had obviously been placed on his desk sometime during the night before. He quickly opened it and he felt like crying out. Inside was 10 dollars, no card or anything. He looked at the picture again and felt a tear make it's down his right cheek.

Turning off the water, Luke stepped out of the shower and dried off. He made his way to the small closet and got dressed. Taking a few steeps he stopped in front of the fridge and opened it, staring blankly into it.

The first time Luke had celebrated his birthday in the shed, he turned 15. The day before he had been out and bought some things, he really wanted to try to give himself a good birthday. He had even bought a gift and placed it on his table where he would open it while he was eating breakfast, just like he used to do with his grandmother, when she was alive.

But nothing had gone like Luke had planned. He had tried to make bacon, and cried out every time the grease stung his skin, but instead it had burnt. He had tried to cook eggs like his grandmother used to, but they failed as well. At least he sat down at the table with a piece of toast, the overcooked eggs and burnt bacon.

After he finished eating he pushed his plate away and picked up his gift. He turned it over a couple of times in his hands before he started to rip off the ribbon and the paper. He looked at the gift, an empty booklet, and his vision blurred. How pathetic was this? Everything had failed and nothing was like it was supposed to. Giving into the tears, he started sobbing as he leaned in over the table. Resting his head on his forearms he cried his heart out, whishing that he had someone in his life.

Wishing that he was somebody and not someone invisible.


The bell rang and people rushed out of the classroom, but Luke stayed where he was. He kept his head down and kept working, trying to get his homework done. Suddenly a figure stopped in front of Luke and he heard that someone clear it´s throat. He glanced up and saw Maddie standing there, smiling. She had her hands behind her back, as if she was hiding something. Luke smiled back but wondered what Maddie was doing there.

"Hi, Luke," Maddie said. "Hi Maddie," Luke said and for a couple of seconds they just stared at each other. "Happy birthday," Maddie suddenly said and her smile widened. "I´ve got you something," she said. Luke couldn´t believe it, they hadn´t talked for a long time, and now Maddie was standing in front of him. And it seemed like she was trying to mend things.

"Really?" He asked and then he saw it. She was smirking at him and then she started laughing. "No, I can´t believe you felt for that loser," she said and laughingly made her way back to Casey, who threw his arm around her, pulling her into his body, and kissed her long and hard.

Luke could feel the tears sting in his eyes and blinked rapidly. "Loser," he mumbled to himself but before he knew what hit him, he was being hauled up by a hand around his left bicep and then he was pressed to the wall with an arm against his neck.

Luke blinked and struggled to breathe right, he quickly shook his head as he looked into the angry eyes of Aaron. "Hi, what´s going on here?" A voice asked and they both looked towards it, standing there was Noah.

"Do you have something to say, f'aggot?" Aaron asked as he put a little more pressure on Luke´s neck causing him to start gasping for breaths. Unable to speak Luke could do nothing but shake his head. Glaring at him one more time Aaron released his hold on Luke and walked back to the group. Luke started coughing loudly, trying to get air into his lungs again.

"Are you alright?" asked Noah as he glared at the group in the back of the classroom, Luke just nodded as he took three big gulps of air and slowly made his way to his seat.

Luke watched the teacher walk in and turned towards the floor where his bag was. He stuck his hand in but quickly retracted it; he reached inside again and confirmed what he already knew. He pulled out the book he needed for class and it was dripping wet. Just then the teacher walked by and saw it; he stopped and turned walked with fast steps towards Luke´s desk.

"What is this?" Mr. LaDue asked as he picked up the dripping wet book. Luke just sat there, looking down into his desk, when suddenly something hard hit him on top of his head. He cringed as the rest of the class laughed, and Luke looked up into Mr. LaDue´ eyes. "I don´t know, sir," he answered in a small voice.

The book once again hit him and Luke couldn´t help the flinch running through his body. "Stop," a sudden voice said and he saw Noah standing up and walking over to stand next to the teacher. "Hitting him isn´t going to help," he said and looked at Luke, who was trying to shrink down to his smallest possible size and his heart went out to the blonde.

"That's enough, sit down Mayer. And Luke," he said the name like Luke was nothing but a piece of gum sticking to his shoes. "You can take this down to the principal and see what he has to say." He threw the book down on Luke´s desk and a couple of droops splashed against Luke´s face. Luke kept his head down while he quickly packed his things and stood and walked out the door.


Noah stood outside the principal's office after the class was over, and after a few moments a gloomy expression on his face. Noah walked up to him and couldn´t help but gasp when Luke raised his head. His eyes had been swallowed by two dark wholes, threatening to take over Luke´s soul.

"What did he say?" asks Noah as he hands over Luke´s bag. He sees Luke blink before taking his bag and says in a low voice: "I have to pay 100 $ for the book, and until then I´m suspended. I don´t have that kind of money." Without another word Luke turns around and walks towards the parking lot.

"Where are you going?" Noah asked as he ran to catch up to Luke. Luke didn´t even stop but simply said over his shoulder, while he continued to walk away: "To work, so I can make some off the money."

Noah watched as Luke walked up to his truck, noticing how beat up it was. It was a miracle that it could start. Noah looked as Luke pulled out of the spot and drove off the school grounds. He pulled out his phone and tripped his foot as he waited for it to be picked up in the other end.


Luke felt like he was in a daze the whole day. He didn´t see the looks he got when Aaron and Casey walked into the diner and when he finally made it home, he walked with a heavy heart to the small dresser and opened a drawer. Out of it, he pulled a letter and with shaking hands walked to the small table and sat down. After staring at the envelope for what seemed like forever, he slowly opened it and unfolded the letter. The sight of his grandmother´s handwriting had tears filling his eyes.

Dear Luke,

When you read this I will not be there for you anymore. I´m so sorry that I don´t get a chance to see you grow up to the man that I knew you were born to be.

I will always be there for you, just trust your heart and I know that you´ll do the right thing. You were meant to do great things.

I love you for always, my darling.

Love Emma.

After draying the tears that spilled from his eyes away, Luke took a look on the second page off the letter. It was a bank statement, which Emma had started for him so he could go to college. Luke sat long and stared at the pieces of paper, before he made a decision. `Sorry, grandma, but we both know I´m not going to college.´ He whispered as he starred out into the dark night.