Hi. To tell you the truth, I feel ashamed. In all the time I've had my account, I didn't find the time to favorite and review other stories, which I like T.T The only thing that I do when I enter my account is to check briefly if something needs my attention or upload a new chapter. And I want to favorite and comment so many things, too! *sigh* Anyways, I hope you people have been well in the past week! And now, for the long anticipated (at least I like to think so) ShizNat moment! Even though I'm not that good at romantic stuff, I decided to give it a try, since this relationship is an important part of this story. So, um, enjoy and tell me what you think, if you want to! ^^
Disclaimer: Mai-HiME =/= mine.
They were walking in silence, sneaking into the dorms and being able to get to their destination without spotted by anyone on their way there. When Nao pushed the door open, she felt the instinctive need to dive for cover. No, all Hell hadn't been let loose. It was merely Mai, but from such a short distance, they couldn't tell the difference.
"Get over here this instant!" Mai ordered and Natsuki decided that this was the first time in her life she preferred to be in Suzushiro's company more than Mai's, if the volume of the voice was the determining factor. If not only that, Mai could be quite scary when angry and this evening she was emitting an aura of 'Furious'. Both rule-breakers complied, one with lack of enthusiasm, caused mostly by fear, and the other with limping, caused by injuries.
Mai's unmistakable presence had managed to block out the other room's occupants' – Aoi's and Mikoto's. They seemed all too reluctant to say anything so as not to draw the divine wrath upon themselves. Even Mikoto looked like a tamed little kitten, which was lying low, because of being scolded that it had ruined its owner's brand new expensive curtains.
"Come!" she dragged Natsuki to the girl's unmade and tumbled bed.
"Sit!" the helpless girl was pushed down and almost cried out in pain, but her pride assisted her in keeping the wail in.
"Roll over," said under her nose Nao and smirked in delighted mockery at the situation unfolding before her. Mai was pulling Natsuki's top up, while the other struggled, quite unsuccessfully, to keep it on her form.
"Cut it out, you idiot! I can take care of myself!" she protested, fending off her friend's attacks using her last supplies of energy. The effect of the adrenaline had evaporated from her system and she was beginning to feel the exhaustion taking over her. She really wasn't in the mood of Mai fussing over some minor injuries, which would be gone by the day after tomorrow.
"Obviously you can't! Ah! I give up! Stay here until I get something to clean that cut on your lip and the blood from your face," Mai stomped to the bathroom and came back within seconds, holding a small wash basin, two clean towels and a bottle of antiseptic. She worked on the other girl, who was averse to be helped in any manner, but accepted the assistance, because she was too tired to argue more than she already had.
While this transpired, eager for news, Aoi turned to Nao, a trace of concern on her face. "What happened?" she asked.
"Hell if I know," shrugged Nao. "When I got up through the hole in the floor, there was a pile of bodies thrown in the basement and after I got out from there, I saw Kuga being helped by a weird red-eyed chick. There was also a big man lying on the floor, a hole through his head," she decided to skip the part, where the two older girls seemed to have an argument.
"Fujino-san was there? How unexpected! The president is so hard to figure out and full of surprises. She and Natsuki make such a fascinating couple," Aoi laughed light-heartedly in relief. Lime eyes nailed blue ones in the instant Aoi had said 'couple'.
"Wait, what? Kuga and that weirdo are together?" Nao blurted out, without thinking. So that was why Kuga had behaved like a mad animal, killing off the other gangsters without mercy.
In the short period of time she had known her, never had she imagined that the older student could be involved romantically with another person. The speculation of Suzushiro and Kanzaki didn't count, since it had been made under unfavorable circumstances. But that Fujino girl had been in a whole different league and she could have told that with just a brief observation, so what was the notorious rebel doing with the archetype of the perfect schoolgirl?
"I can still hear you, you gossip-mongers!" barked Natsuki, who now looked somewhat presentable with her face cleaned up. She stood up, went to her wardrobe, cracked it open and hurriedly pulled out a pair of old shorts and a light-blue hoodie. After shooting Nao and Aoi a dirty look, she went to the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her.
Natsuki pulled up her tattered and stained black top and winced at the forming black-blue bruise on her abdomen. She sighed; there was no helping it, she had to bear with it for at least a couple of days. A quick shower wouldn't be too bad to get rid of the horrendous smell from the canalization that still lingered in her hair, she decided and after stripping her remaining pieces of clothing, she entered the cabin.
Meanwhile in the dorm room Nao was still finding it hard to collect her wits about her. Mai was looking at her and Aoi in an accusing way, while Mikoto was trying to scheme a plan to make her care-taker prepare a big portion of ramen for her rumbling stomach.
"Why did you have to say that?" Mai scolded Aoi quietly, so as not to be heard by the one in the bathroom. "You know it's a sore subject for her, since they've been hiding it for safety's sake."
Mai shook her head and sighed, sitting on the floor next to the other three. Aoi looked slightly ashamed and quietly apologized, stating softly that she hadn't meant any harm, but only wanted to express her happiness that things had gone smooth and in the end none of their friends had been hurt.
Nao decided that it was too unsafe to ask more questions this night, since the person she wanted to inquire about was far too close for comfort. Another negative aspect of revealing her desire to know more was that she could easily ruin her image of constant nonchalance and apathy for anything and anyone, besides herself. She didn't want that.
'Not that I care about Kuga, or anything,' she tried to convince herself and somewhat succeeded. Up until the object of her musings re-entered the room and stood in front of them, her hair wet, hands crossed over her chest and clad in a very casual manner. Nao hadn't seen her in anything beside her school uniform and that black outfit from earlier, so she found herself unable to shift her lime orbs away from the unusual sight.
"Nao," she realized she was being addressed by her. "Could you give me the disk you got from that guy?"
"What's on it?" Nao handed the DVD to Natsuki, who wrinkled her nose when she retrieved the item. "What?"
"You fucking stink," was the huskily pronounced offending reply. "Go take a shower or something."
Lime eyes narrowed and their owner hissed threateningly. "Why, I think what I deserve is a 'thank you', not a smelly comment. I did go there, 'cuz of your stupidity, mutt."
This was followed by a low guttural growl from the already irritated leader, who threw the disk box on her night-stand before bothering to retort portentously.
"I should be breaking your neck, you know, for going against my orders," Natsuki was staring Nao down.
"Like you did to that guy for no apparent reason?" Nao shot back venomously.
Mai felt that this was her cue to enter and prevent something very unpleasant from occurring in the middle of the little dorm room, but a hand on her knee prevented her from doing so. Her lilac eyes met the rarely serious golden ones of Mikoto, who shook her head and whispered, "This is important. Don't get between them."
The gang leader's stance was getting aggressive and so was the first-year's unwavering gaze. Nao had thought on Natsuki's earlier act of unneeded violence and the lies she had told her about how keeping your cool and making unbiased decisions lead to victory. She was mad at her for not standing by her own words of wisdom and justice. This whole hostage situation hadn't been resolved in the name of justice, it had been a massacre for those who had dared to step over unknowingly into T.N.T.'s territory.
Natsuki gritted her teeth. She knew that she had been overcome by her emotions at that moment, but her conviction was that she had been right. The world worked like that, after all. If you didn't take away, you would be taken from. It was cruel, it was sad, but it was real. She didn't bother with an answer to Nao's remark; she knew that the other girl had her reasons to be angry at her.
"Weren't you… we the ones, who were opposing the unfairness of the criminal world? Why did you just kill all those people off? Wasn't Blackwood the good guy?" Nao was shouting out all of her questions to the one in front of her. The answer to her angry inquiries wasn't what she had expected. She was taken aback when she was laughed at – a cruel, mocking and hoarse voice sounding clearly in her ears.
Natsuki had a hand over her eyes, her head leaning backwards, her whole body shaking with laughter. Her white teeth were bared in a twisted leer in an uncharacteristic display of amusement. When the laugh died down to sinister chuckles, she let her arm fall by her side; her emeralds were now a darker shade of green and a few damp raven locks fell in front of them. She locked her gaze with Nao's, who involuntarily took a step back.
"I see," Nao was granted a derisive smile. "I see what your dilemma is, Nao. I believe you find this whole episode such a problem, because you think there are 'good guys' and 'bad guys'. You're wrong, of course. There are, have been and will be only, I repeat only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides."
"I…" rasped the first-year, a bit shaken from the rationalization she had received. She knew it held a portion of truth. The biggest portion of life's essence served on the banquet of iniquity, as a matter of fact. "I refuse to be… to become an immoral lunatic like you, Kuga!"
"Never mind that little flaw of yours," the green-eyed devil smirked. "You'll soon fit in."
"I'm getting out of here," Nao shook her head and strode for the door. She flung it open and she met the crimson eyes she had seen earlier in that wretched place. They both froze, their feet stuck to the ground, neither of them making the first move.
"Did we interrupt?" came Chie's voice from behind the slender figure standing in the doorway.
"Not really, I was just leaving," answered the furious first-year before pushing past the two, who looked after her questioningly.
"You can't run away! Yuuki Nao!" Natsuki's words rushed after the retreating form of the stomping girl. They were followed by Mai and Mikoto, who practically flew past Natsuki, but not before Mai shot her best friend a reproaching look, which spoke tons of silent disapproval.
"I think I should go, too," standing up, declared Aoi. When she went to the door, she bowed with a polite "Have a nice evening, president", grabbed the disgruntled by the lack of information Chie and left Natsuki only with the other girl. The door was closed.
Silence followed, neither of the two was quite ready to lead a conversation without snapping at the other. Since Shizuru had always been the braver of them when it came to their relationship and interactions, she decided to be the one to start to talk.
"Is Natsuki feeling well enough to be up and about?" an innocent question like this one was best suited for the situation.
"I should be asking you that. Why don't you rest?" now, calmer than before, Natsuki was able to act more open – she was tired and low-spirited.
Only in front of Shizuru could she let herself look like that. With her she was nothing but herself. It didn't matter that her back wasn't upright – the very act of being more imposing. Or that her shoulders were slumped, like the weight of the taken lives was pressing them mercilessly down. Or that her normally straight and silky hair was wet and disheveled.
"Ara," the student council president sat herself on Natsuki's bed. "I am somewhat afraid of what I will see when I close my eyes," she admitted quietly, almost undetectably for the other occupant of the room.
She really was scared; she knew that despite the fact that she had killed in order to protect, it wasn't right to take a life away. All her life she had lived with that belief and now it was going to punish her in her subconsciousness for her disobedience. The crimson eyed beauty felt the weight next to her, but didn't look up from the bare wooden floor.
"And to tell you the truth, the police will probably be questioning us later, so I won't have the time to rest. I saw them arrive earlier."
"I heard nothing, though," Natsuki voiced her statement more like a question. She was now sitting cross-legged on top of her tumbled blankets, not too far from Shizuru, in case her dearest person needed her comfort. The pain from taking a life away didn't go away, she had learned; it just got number as time went by. There was no escape, though.
"It was most unusual, I must admit. Instead of normal police-officers, came special agents, or so we were told when Haruka-han demanded to know who was taking Kikukawa-han away," answered Shizuru, now lifting her head up and meeting curious and suspicious emeralds. "I don't think they were the government's men, Natsuki."
"Indeed, it does sound fishy," Natsuki yawned, trying to look indifferent in order to hide her anxiety to go and check things out for herself. She had her doubts about the school's higher-ups and the ones actually pulling the strings from behind. On numerous occasions she had been given reasons to suspect something was terribly wrong with the way students were admitted, taught and how some of them disappeared without a trace after graduation.
"Natsuki wants to go and see for herself, I see," Shizuru sighed and tilted her head a bit, smiling softly when seeing her beloved flinch.
"Is it that obvious?" Natsuki frowned.
"No, Natsuki has become brilliant at hiding her emotions when necessary," complemented Shizuru, while leaning a bit closer to her lover, searching unconsciously for the warmth of the other she was in such a need for at the moment. It had been a hectic day, after all.
"Really, though, I don't think that I'll ever be able to fool you, Shizuru," Natsuki had noticed that the crimson eyes were duller, the perfect smile wasn't as care-free and the delicate body was tense. She moved behind her beloved and pulled her backwards, wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her chin on soft chestnut tresses.
Shizuru had been taken aback a little by the act of tenderness her girlfriend was displaying, but let herself be drowned in the comforting scent. Despite being exhausted, she felt it her duty to press Natsuki about what had transpired at the faculty building.
"Natsuki," she received a hum for a response. "I heard from Chie-han what an uncharacteristic act you committed. Natsuki is such a gentle person. That wasn't a nice thing to do, I am sure Natsuki is aware of that, yes?"
"There wasn't a nice thing that would work," the gang leader sighed. She knew she had let her anger get the best of her, however she couldn't have let anyone live after what they had done. They had trespassed on her domain, they had violated something she treasured – they had tried to hurt her most precious person.
Natsuki had realized that in that game she hadn't been the declarer. That role had been taken by the Golden Era and the dummy* had been Kisame. The low-ranking gang's cards were simply played by the unknown new enemy. This faceless foe threatened her area and as a full-fledged leader she had acted to protect.
'That would teach the bastards,' she had thought, but knew she was wrong. Somehow she was well aware that the Golden Era was way more powerful than any enemy T.N.T. had faced before.
"Natsuki, we both know that you could have thought up a better less… less violent solution," Shizuru murmured, her eyelids dropping over weary ruby orbs. She felt warm lips press against the top of her head and smiled, forgetting for a moment everything around her, except for her Natsuki.
"Yes… I'm sorry, Shizuru," the younger of them buried her face in silky hair, inhaling deeply the sweetness of a lilac aroma.
'Her favorite perfume,' she mused. Nothing could stain her beloved, not even murder or any of the other sins, for that matter. She was just perfect like that.
"Ara, Natsuki doesn't… need to apologize… for… anything," Shizuru felt that she was falling asleep against her girl, but couldn't keep herself awake any longer.
She wasn't that scared now, for she knew that when she was with the secret gang leader she was safe. Even if they were riding the blue Ducati at an unreasonable speed down a dangerous and tricky road positioned on the cliffs, below which the waves angrily clashed.
'Those times were truly amazing,' Shizuru calmly thought before drifting away in her beloved's arms, surrendering to the emotional and physical exhaustion.
Natsuki was quietly gazing at the ceiling, content for the moment with her comfortable positioning on the bed. For her utmost displeasure, though, she had to get up and go check out what was going up with the, as she assumed, pretence-investigation. She had to also look through the disk's contents later that night. It was the evening, but it was still early for the leader to rest her sore body and troubled mind.
With extreme cautiousness she positioned Shizuru comfortably on her mattress, tucked her with a spare blanket and stroked a stray lock from the sleeping girl's forehead. She turned her back on her and shuffled quietly in her wardrobe for a clean school uniform, in which she changed, grunting softly when making a more challenging for her condition movement. In a few days, she'd be okay, she convinced herself.
Throwing a look back at Shizuru's serene face, she was now guilt-free for leaving the student council president by herself. Natsuki knew her dearest would rest undisturbed by dark memories and nightmares at least during her stay here. Not that she was unwilling to spend every second with her, but they had to be careful. They had promised.
"You won't have to do anything like that again, Shizuru. I will cleanse this world from scum like that for your sake," she let herself smile genuinely and lovingly at the sleeping form, which was rising and falling evenly, indicating a peaceful sleep. She left the room.
She didn't know where she had run off to in her anger frenzy, but found herself standing in front of the school's open swimming pool. No-one was around probably because of the accident earlier.
The accident.
She gripped full fists of her own flame-red locks and gritted her teeth at an attempt not to let out a rage-filled scream. Crouching next to the unmoving water, she peeked over the edge and saw two confused lime eyes looking right back at her. Swallowing, she stretched her hand towards the calm surface and touched it with trembling fingers. Was this pale, hallow-cheeked and apprehensive face hers? How had she changed so much in so little time? It had all happened too quickly. She wished the world would just stop and let her catch up before continuing its wild and ruthless race against all of the people trying to beat it in its own game of unexpectedness.
Nao chuckled to herself; she knew some of those people. This city was too small for individuals with such huge ambitions and desires like Smith, Kuga and the rest of the underground leaders. If a person fought for a righteous cause, did this make the fighter himself the righteous one, the hero? Or did he turn into simply a murderer after the whole ordeal was over? Did Kuga realize what her actions would lead her to? Could Nao be the only one, who realized how wrong this was?
Biting her thumb's nail, she closed her eyes in contemplation. Knowing herself, she wasn't the sort of person to have some idealistic dreams of peace and love, but instead she was more of a pessimist, not expecting much of her future. She knew also that she didn't want to become a hypocritical rebel, who murdered with the excuse 'I kill gangsters, because they ruined my life. They will ruin yours, too'. But what other reason could she have that would motivate her? Ah, so many questions and nobody was willing to just hand her the damned answers!
Suddenly the demand of an explanation to all of her inquiries was replaced by the simple need for her to know why the hell it was so cold and why she couldn't breathe. Opening her mouth to voice her frustration, she felt chlorine water filling her lungs. Everything was smeared, but what she was able to make out was another person underneath the water together with her. Okay, it was time to re-supply with oxygen. Now!
Two heads popped above the surface, one belonging to the gasping frantically for air Nao, the other – to a girl with short black hair, a damp small braid, its end, touching the water, floating above her petite shoulder. Still unable to regain her senses, she couldn't register when she was pulled out of the pool and had rolled onto her knees, coughing out water.
A strong slap across her back made her think that she was going to say farewell to her insides, which threatened to make their fabulous escape from her gaping mouth, because of the impact. When the coughing subsided, she found she could hear a familiar voice asking her if she was alright.
Mustering up her most convincing and appropriate glare for the situation, the lime eyed girl slowly turned her head towards the inquirer.
'What do you think?' was the silent message conveyed between the crouching, drenched and shivering Nao and the panting, concerned, but warmly smiling Mai, who was holding Mikoto by the collar like a dirty little animal. A wet one, too.
"I'm sorry about Mikoto, Nao-chan," apologized Mai. "We were just so caught up in chasing you, that when she finally spotted you, she rushed towards you and couldn't stop in time."
She laughed light-heartedly while Nao just watched her with an expression that at first displayed bewilderment, next portrayed annoyance and finally it settled on boredom.
"Yeah, well, keep your pet on a leash next time," the first-year scoffed, turning her head away from the duo, and shivered a bit. Even though it was a warm spring evening, it was getting dark and soon the sun would hide behind the trees of the school's forest.
"You're cold, Nao-chan. Should I give you my blazer?" suggested Mai, who had now let the little menace go. Mikoto beamed at Nao and she couldn't help but soften her irritated expression in return. Only a bit. She shook her head, denying the kind offer.
"Then let's go back to the dorms and get you two changed," the second-year extended her hand towards the younger girl, but it was roughly pushed away.
"I don't want your help or pity. Nor do I want to go anywhere near her," Nao spat and stood up, wrapping her arms around herself.
"Nao-chan… what's your story?" Mai decided that beating around the bush wouldn't help this time around. This problem needed to be resolved as soon as possible for all of their sakes and getting to know Nao and her past better was the path to success in her opinion.
"Don't tell me you don't already know from gossip queen. Kuga made it clear that she was aware why I hate gangs so much," retorted Nao, too tired to think of an insulting comeback.
"I know a bit about your antics in middle school and the incident with your mother, but I want to hear it from you," confessed the caring young woman. Mikoto was at her side, nodding vigorously at the older girl's words.
"Yup, yup! It's always better to draw conclusions from the real source of information, Natsuki says! I agree, I want to hear Nao's story, as well!" Mikoto smiled encouragingly at her classmate, who frowned when she heard the name of T.N.T.'s leader. Why did her life revolve around that loathsome woman?
"Tch, you won't leave me alone, will you?" she got two different types of confirmation. "Okay, then. I'll tell you. But on one condition!"
"Which would be?" inquired Mai, a tad bit worried, knowing part of what the other red-head could be wanting in return.
"Tell me everything. I don't care if Kuga wishes me to know, or not!"
"I can only tell you what I have experienced in the last year at school. You can make out what you need from the story," she received a distrustful look from Nao. "I promise, I'll tell you everything, but from my perspective, so don't expect much."
"Fine, then. We have a deal," Nao replied, somewhat discontented with the arrangement they had made.
"Let's at least get inside the changing-rooms. It'll be less chilly there," in a silent agreement all three high-schoolers went inside.
The door had been left open when the club members had quickly retreated to the dorms, when Mai had come to warn them of the situation mere hours ago. The girls' small changing room had blue tiles, dark-blue lockers lining the walls and two benches in the middle.
Mai and Nao sat down, their backs facing each other's, while Mikoto sprawled on the bench the oldest girl was sitting on and placed her head in her lap. A quick moment of contemplation passed and then the newest member of the gang began her tale.
"When I was a first year in middle school my home was attacked and wrecked by a gang. The moment I pushed the shattered doors of our small apartment, I found my father and bigger sister dead. I don't remember much from that night, but I guess that a neighbor called the police. The only thing I remember was that later mother was lying in a bed, so many wires attached to her that I couldn't count them.
"Later that week the police caught the suspects, four gang members, but soon let them go because of lack of evidence. I was paid a small portion of money, which I used to fix the apartment, for I didn't have any relatives to go to. Going back to that place was hell, so I spent a lot of the nights on the streets.
"Soon I realized that I couldn't live with only the money I was paid as my mother's disablement pension and started searching for a way to make money. I came to the conclusion that in this shit-hole of a city no-one cared and I won't be hired anywhere. So I started baiting men, who wanted to have nightly fun with a middle-schooler and then, when they didn't expect it, I would trick them in the most suitable in the circumstances way and steal their money.
"Anyways, I got good at what I did and went for gang members. I decided that revenge was in order and I would punish them for what they had done to me. At first, it worked, but then… well, that incident in front of the café happened. Anyways, with the money I had gained from the bastards, I was able to pay for my further education in Fuuka and was supplied with a dorm room for the next school year. A month ago they told me mama had awakened from her coma.
"When I got there, I didn't see my mother. I saw a drooling vegetable. I was informed that she may have woken up, but she didn't have long to live. The damage to her brain was too severe and it was a miracle she had even woken up. She's still in that wretched hospital.
"Satisfied? Now it's your turn, Tokiha."
During the whole narration Mai had stayed silent, staring at her feet and playing nervously with Mikoto's braid. She would flinch at some point of the story, but had said nothing, afraid that she would accidentally break the contract they had made. It had been impressive how the first-year's voice stayed impartial during almost the whole time, but Mai knew better. She had her fair share of hardship, too. When Nao had finished, she was quiet for a little while, before venturing to speak herself.
"It must've been tough," she began, but received a snort in response, so she decided not to dwell on it. Instead she immediately began with her own narration.
"I need to tell you about my past before I came last year in order to properly introduce you to the following events.
"I was raised with my brother Takumi in the Tokiha household. We had loving parents and a wonderful home in the outskirts of Tokyo. My family was perfect, or so I had thought. Then my mother got sick with a heart disease I didn't even know existed. She passed soon after my tenth birthday, leaving my father, Takumi and I. Her last words to me were to take care of my little brother and I took them to heart. My father was desperate, though. He became ill, but was able to support Takumi and I. He found solace in alcohol, however I found out about that only after we received the news that he had been hit by a truck.
"My brother and I were left alone when I was sixteen and he was nearly fourteen. At that time we had discovered that the heart disease that had taken mother away was passed genetically and Takumi suffered from a lighter form. Anyways, he needed to be operated in the near future in order to survive.
"Much like yourself, we were given money from the government, but they were not enough. We learned about the Kazahana scholarship, which is provided by Fuuka School and decided to try to win. If we got into school for free, I could find a job and save up money for Takumi's surgery. As luck had it, we were able to enter. This was the point in time when I met Natsuki…"
Glossary:
*Declarer and dummy - Within the partnership that wins the auction, declarer is the one who first names the denomination or strain of their winning bid, thus the strain of the contract. During the play, declarer is opposite dummy and calls for card from dummy or "plays the dummy".
