Two months later:

"Alright! Day One of exploring Suna, getting some physical training in, and hopefully more chakra control practice!" Sasori cheers, though the enthusiasm is more from finally being allowed out of the Compound unsupervised. It had been two months since he "woke up".

As it turns out, it is totally acceptable for a toddler to wander alone in a village, especially if it's one of the Five Great Shinobi Nations. The high concentration of shinobi and their pseudo-civilian family members keep the crime rates down.

Ever wondered how well-known shinobi manage to have families and keep them without a clan? Well, it shouldn't be surprising that they're taught some sort of self-defense to compensate. So, even if they don't decide to become shinobi, they'll be mostly fine because their overprotective family members make sure to hammer useful skills in. The Kazekage is quite lenient on these people should they start fights. Probably because they have a propensity for producing stronger children that are likely to become shinobi in the future. But, there's a limit to the kindness a shinobi village will show, it's debatable if it is kindness, as soon as a line is crossed, the infraction will be dealt with just like the others. Sometimes with even more force than what is usually granted to the violation of rules.

Anyway, Sasori has plans to carry out, mayhem to cause, and world domination to set in motion.

Actually, no, world domination was so last season, passive-aggressive trolling is in fashion now.

Whatever, he has daylight to burn. Speeding down the path leading to the gate, he resolves to simply do whatever comes up today. No schedule, just exploring and learning more about the Village he lives in.

It doesn't take long for his childish body to become tired, a frankly disappointing amount of time. It annoys him, how is he supposed to be anything if he can't even sprint ten meters? He decides to cheat with his knowledge of canon.

Shinobi are well known for their ability to use chakra to enhance their bodies, be it senses or stamina. Tsunade is a prime example of using her chakra control to magnify her incredible strength. I wonder…

He pools some chakra slowly beneath his feet as he runs.

A mistake.

His chakra snaps and he's suddenly launched into the air, shocked and screaming profanities like a sailor.

"FuckingkamishitthiswasafuckingawfulideacrapIregretthismotherfuckerdidthishavetogowrong?"

Ahem. Nothing to see here villagers. The laughing shinobi in over there two tables down should learn to be more subtle.

Ouch, at least he landed on his feet. Not sulking, he stalks over to a more secluded area to slowly test his chakra.

This time, he keeps a tight rein on his chakra when he pushes it to his feet in tiny increments. Eventually, it reacts the same as before on a lesser scale, pushing him forward and up.

So that's how shinobi make those insanely high jumps. I wonder what the shunshin would be?

Sasori repeats his earlier action, but this time he wills his chakra to take on a more slippery consistency, something his feet can slide on.

It doesn't result in a shunshin, but something entirely new. He slides forward, stumbling and causing his concentration to break. The chakra disperses and is reabsorbed into his body.

Oh right, the reabsorption thing that his chakra is apparently not normal. Chakra, after it's used, is supposed to disperse into its surroundings harmlessly. But for Sasori...it just wanders around like a lost puppy before realizing nothing is happening and dejectedly makes its way back to him.

Ebizō and Chiyo have no explanation for why this is occurring, but he overheard the conversation they had when they assumed that he'd been too far down the hall to hear.

'Almost like how a bijuu reforms after they're "killed".' Were the words that Chiyo used. Sasori isn't sure what that's supposed to mean because he isn't a bijuu. He's just a...misplaced soul.

While he has questions, today is not the day to ponder them, today is a day of fun, happiness, and chaos. He'll figure things out later, like tomorrow. It's likely he won't ever get an answer unless he meets a bijuu, which is hopefully never. He can even see how it would be useful, if his chakra doesn't dissipate, he can reuse it over and over again.

Probably, he did notice that the reabsorbed chakra doesn't reintegrate into his reserves immediately. However, from what he can tell, once it does reintegrate it can be used like the rest.

Sasori shakes his head to clear it, determined to try his new discovery again, his chakra takes on the same slippery consistency.

Now that he's expecting it, he crouches low on the ground to prevent himself from stumbling. He pushes with both hands, causing his body to slide forward.

It's like...having roller skates.

The nostalgia hits hard as he shakily stands. He gently uses on foot to push, only for it to slide back and his other foot to slide forward. Sasori is brought into a sudden and painful split.

And he starts cursing again, this time at a much lower volume, not enough to bring any undue attention. Groaning, he rolls onto his side, thankful for the stretches Chiyo made him go through and the natural flexibility children are blessed with. Otherwise, he's certain he would have pulled something.

A challenge, one that he resolves to overcome.


"Oww!"


"Um, are we moving yet?"


"Shit, that's a wall! No, go the other way! The other way!"

Crash.

"I'm so sorry!"


"I know I've always wanted to a backward flip, but this was not how I imagined it going."


"Finally!" After many mishaps and injuries later, he coasts slowly down the road, drawing inquisitive looks from those that notice how he's not actually walking.

The attention he's getting almost makes everything worth it, almost.

"Alright, time to figure out how chakra enhancements work."

He focuses chakra in his legs, his previous experiments making him wary. A leaden weight settles in his stomach.

"Shit." Was all he managed to utter before he learned why testing out two chakra techniques at the same time without full mastery over at least one is a very bad idea.

He slams into someone from the force his chakra enhanced leg combined with his "skating thing".

"I'm sorry!" He hastily bows, not even bothering to stand and gawk. He remembers an altercation with an old granny and her disrupted garden that ended badly. He'd been too busy trying to blink the stars out of his eyes from forcibly interacting with her lovely wall. It was a very lovely wall. A very sandy, and very boring one, but a lovely wall all the same.

"It's fine."

Sasori gives a relieved exhale, straightening himself, and fully prepared to give an explanation. Then he realizes who he just bumped into and he shuts his mouth with an audible click.

"What's wrong?" The Sandaime Kazekage questions, face as emotionless as his voice.

Well. There goes all of his happiness and determination.

The Sandaime Kazekage, except he isn't actually Kazekage now, is he? He's in his teens, not even an adult, still a boy barely past puberty.

This is all very awkward indeed.

How about he return home and forget this ever happened? While his brain dimly registers that he'll have to face the Sandaime eventually because, well, they do become Kazekage, it would be difficult to avoid them.

Damn, Komushi he can run away from well enough, but this...this has Sasori beat.

"My question?"

What is it with people and him being required to answer their questions these days?

"It's fine." Sasori flings his response right back at him.

"Hn." 'Is that so?'

Oh no. No, you're not by any chance an Uchiha or relation of theirs? Wait, how did I even know what you meant by "hn"?

"Isago."

"What?" He's not sure what prompted the sudden interruption of the rabbit hole his mind went down.

"My name."

"Oh." Isago, he can finally stop referring to them as the Sandaime Kazekage now, really is a man of few words. Even through their little impromptu conversation, he'd barely showed even a trace of emotion and his voice remains almost inflectionless.

The longest string of words Isago had spoken to him up until now had been two words.

That's pretty sad.

If he wasn't supposed to kill Isago in canon, he'd be more receptive to becoming acquaintances just to see if he can't get them to start talking more.

"Yours?"

Seriously, is he just going to speak in caveman? Well, two can play a game. He schools his face to something resembling Iago's ironclad blankness.

"Sasori."

Isago doesn't even blink at the sudden change in demeanor Sasori goes through.

"I see."

"Indeed." Seriously, why does he understand Uchiha speak? This is unreal. Maybe it's just his brain making things up?

"Hn." 'You understand me?'

"Yes." Some shinobi have stopped to observe the back and forth they have going on. A few had snickered when he first rammed into Isago accidentally, watching to see what would happen.

"Hn?" 'Come with me.'

"Definitely not." The peanut gallery is propagating at alarming levels, are they...no...they're betting?! Sasori swears that the unwanted audience is passing money to one dude in the middle who seems to be in charge of the book.

"Why not?"

"Because." It might just be his personality, but Isago doesn't bother to pay attention to the growing crowd. Someone whistles. Another person shushes them violently.

"Because?" 'Because?'

"I don't know you." There, he said it, now he can return home and forget anything happened today.

"Hn." 'I told you my name.'

"True." But that doesn't mean anything!

"Come."

"Why?" Some idiots chuckle in the background.

"Hn." 'I want you to meet someone.'

"Fine." Sasori relents, how bad could it be? He has a whole crowd of witnesses if they find his body lying about later. If they find his body.

Said crowd has some more idiots slack-jawed and others roaring in laughter.

"Follow me."

Before Sasori makes to follow Isago, someone grabs his poncho scarf thing,

"Easy kid, do you even know what he just asked you to do?" The man looks well-intentioned enough, there's actual worry in his tone.

Sasori quickly reviews the conversation he had with Isago without the helpful translations his brain automatically provided.

Oh. Oh my.

"You lewd fool! Get your hands off of me!" Sasori takes advantage of the ruckus he caused to squirm out of the shinobi's grasp, "Shame on you for having a dirty mind!"

Isago stops in his tracks, choosing to silently observe rather than interfere.

The surprised shinobi flinches, actually flinches,

"Kid. What have you been doing? You're what, six? You're not supposed to know these things!"

"I'm five and it's a misunderstanding! He wants me to meet someone!" Sasori turns to Isago, "Who was it that you wanted me to meet?"

"Sensei."

"There, satisfied? He's only a teen!" Sasori screeches back at the gaping man.

"Only a teen? You're only a toddler!"

He scowls,

"Dead dove. Do. Not. Eat."

"What?"

"Inside joke. Now shoo, all of you. I have a person to meet." With that, he huffs and hurries to catch up with Isago.

Sasori drops the game, conceding defeat to his curiosity, he can continue to imitate Isago sometime else.

"So why do you want me to meet your sensei?"

Isago ponders his next words,

"She'd approve." The "of you" went unsaid much like most of his vocabulary, even now, the teen hadn't said anything longer than two words.

"Why did people automatically assume the worst of you?" Perhaps he shouldn't have said that, but he'd never been all that great at not offending people.

"I'm strange."

"Ah, I see. Don't worry, sanity is boring and overrated." Sasori cheerfully teased from his position behind Isago.

"You talk a lot."

"That was four words. Four. Whole. Words. Isago. I'm so proud I'm not even going to get mad at what you're implying."

His comment caused Isago to stop abruptly and Sasori stumbles to a sudden halt, confused.

"You're not...I don't…" For once, his emotionless face is marred by discomfort and agitation.

Sasori squints up at him,

"It's fine. I know what you meant."

Isago gives a barely-there smile of relief,

"Thanks."

"No problem."

And that? That feels like the start of a beautiful friendship. Canon can go sideways, Sasori has made his first human friend. Six and Five don't count because neither are alive nor human.

Komushi doesn't either. Does not. Will never. He's not running away. It's not because Isago would become someone strong enough to kill him if he ever becomes crazy enough to attempt to assassinate the Kazekage.


Yes, Six died. He's a spider, they don't tend to live very long. (A couple of years) And Six was well on into his lifespan. The constant terror Sasori subjects him to might've given him a heart attack, I don't know.

Sasori makes a friend, yay. His control becomes better with his chakra actually cooperating, it's a work in progress.

Enjoy small innocent Sasori while it lasts because it sure won't.

Fun fact!

沙 is the Kanji for Isago. It means "sand" in Chinese. (Kanji and Chinese characters overlap a lot) Yes I know Kanji is Japanese, it's actually Chinese, so that's why it isn't pronounced "suna".

本鉄 is Isago's last name (Hontetsu) It has the kanji for "origin" and then the kanji for "iron".

If you read a name the way Japanese people usually order it, he's Hontetsu Isago (Origin of Iron Sand).

What can I say? I spent waaay to much time on this.

Mizu