Bored On A Sunny Day
By Bella Masen Cullen
A/N I just thought I'd let you know that I know NOTHING about the Civil War (except for the fact that Jasper was in it and he was a major in the Confederate army) so please bear with me if I make a mistake. I tried to research but the internet sucks when it comes to history summaries that people can actually understand! Sorry, they don't teach this stuff in schools over here (not in my grade, at least), so I did my best!
Chapter Seven: The Plastic Revolution
I let Bella escape to the shower and turned back around to see where the rest of my family had gotten to. Emmett was still standing at the back door, shocked, Alice and Esme were watching TV, I was guessing that Carlisle was still playing 'Operation' and Jasper was nowhere to be found.
I decided to go to my room and listen to a few songs while I waited for Bella to finish her shower. I walked up the stairs at a pace that could've easily have been mistaken for the carefree stroll of a human, and stopped when I heard noises near the top.
I looked around, trying to decipher where the noise had come from, when I saw it. A few feet away from the top of the stairs, one of the closet doors was open a slight bit, and someone was inside.
I silently crept up beside the door to investigate, and stopped in my tracks when I heard a familiar voice. It was Jasper, but there was someone with him. Two different voices answered back and forth in the closet. A high-pitched, female voice, and Jasper's familiar one… Professing their love for each other?
I moved closer to the closet, hoping to get a better view.
"Oh Roderick, I love you so much! Please don't go! I need you!"
What the-? I thought, confused. Who the hell was Roderick?
"Lorna, dear, sweet Lorna, I love you more than life itself, but I must go! I must fight for the Union!" My God, that was Jasper. Was he cheating? No way! I crouched down to peek into the closet.
Oh, you have got to be kidding me. Barbies!
Jasper was holding two of them, a Barbie doll and a Ken doll. He spoke again, this time his voice was extremely high-pitched. I recognized it as the voice I had mistaken for a woman's. I had a hard time stifling my laughter as I watched him 'play'.
"Roderick dear! Please don't leave me! Please!"
"But darling, don't you understand? I need to fight!"
"Oh, who cares about the war? You have me!"
"I know pumpkin, I know. But I must go to protect you. I can't have those dirty Confederates hurting you."
"Actually, that's what I need to talk to you about…"
Oh my God, he was reenacting the Civil War with Barbies! My thoughts were cut off once again by his voice.
"Yes, sweet Lorna?"
"Oh Roderick, I-I… I support the Confederate army!"
"You do?"
"Yes"
"You're sure?"
"Positive."
"Well then," Jasper picked up a small toy gun and held it to 'Roderick's' side. "die you Confederate dog! DIEEEEE!"
Jasper picked up 'Lorna' and tried to pull off her head quickly, trying to make it look as if it was blown off. His first try was unsuccessful and he dropped 'Roderick' to put his full attention on the other Barbie.
Jasper grabbed her body in one hand and her head in the other, and pulled as hard as he could. He was still unsuccessful.
Damn, he thought, these things are made really strong these days. My special edition Summer Cindy's head came off much easier than this…
I put my hand to my mouth to stop myself from laughing. Jasper grabbed the Barbie's body firmly in both hands, and attempted to bite its head off. Still unsuccessful, Jasper threw the Barbie on the floor in frustration and picked 'Roderick' up once more.
"Now that's a relief! She was such a nag!" He said through the doll, making it 'walk' away whistling.
I couldn't hold in my laughter anymore, and I let it all out, falling on the floor clutching my sides.
I regained my senses and looked up to see Jasper staring at me, his face crossed with horror.
"I-it's not what you think!" he wailed, putting the Ken doll behind his back. I picked up 'Lorna' and nudged her head lightly with my pinky finger. It came clean off. I threw the doll back at his feet and walked away, still laughing hysterically.
Suddenly, I heard Carlisle's thoughts, clear as a bell.
Oh my God Bella, what are you doing here?! I'm in the middle of a shower!
I clenched my fists in anger and ran to the bathroom in haste.
A/N Likey? Any mistakes I made with the whole Civil War thing, please tell me about them so I can fix them up. If any of you have time, could I please have some more info about it? I'm planning to have another chapter like this one. –evil laugh- No, really.
Also, a big thank you to Muse for creating/performing/putting-on-iTunes-so-I-could-get-it the song "Starlight". It helps me write, I swear. I listen to it when I write, and out come the words. I love that song! Everybody listen to it! Yay Starlight!
One more thing, I usually update daily, and I'll try to continue, but up till now I had the previous chapters already written, so I dunno if it'll take me longer to get them up from now on. Please R+R!
