Author's Note: Uh, well… This was NOT supposed to be this long but the prompt wanted angst and my heart went for it. I'm warning you this is angsty galore and I love it so very much. I do apologize for any tears you may shed because this is meant to be a Christmas collection and who wants to cry at Christmas?! Anyway, I hope you love it despite all of that and I can't wait to see what you think. Thanks again for reading!
Thank you to GaeilgeRua for beta reading this super-fast! You really are a rock star! Much love, xxDustNight
Disclaimer: All non-original characters, plot points, and information belongs to J.K. Rowling, BBC, or Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The story plot and dialogue belongs to me. I do not write for profit.
Holmes for the Holidays Playlist: htt*ps:/open*.*spotify*.*com/user/12464*01351/playlist/1prfNYC9f8LMVVqPzgjs5l (remove * to visit link)
. . . .
Together at Christmas
Rated: T
Written for SaintDionysus who I have to both love and hate for giving me this prompt. You are an amazing artist and author and I am so glad to call you my friend. I hope this fic is angsty enough for you. Thank you for forcing me out of my comfort zone and then allowing me to mend my soul all in the same story!
Prompt: It's Sherlock and Hermione's fifth Christmas together, but they've never spent actual Christmas Day together. Is his family secret going to tear them apart.
Song Recommendation: "Merry Christmas (I don't want to fight tonight)" by The Ramones
Summary: In which the Holmes family secret keeps Hermione and Sherlock apart at Christmas one too many times.
. . . .
"I loved you from the start,
'Cause Christmas ain't the time to be
Breaking each other's hearts."
- Merry Christmas, The Ramones
. . . .
22 December 2016
"Because it's Christmas, Sherlock, and we're supposed to be together for the holidays."
Hermione felt like crying as she paced the small space between Sherlock and John's chairs in 221B Baker Street. Once again, Sherlock was insisting that she find alternate plans for Christmas while he went off with his family. Without her. For the first couple years of their relationship, she understood his reluctance seeing as they were new to this thing, but now…
Now they were engaged, their wedding set for early summer of the coming year. Having been together for five years now, Hermione wanted to spend Christmas with her soon-to-be husband, getting to know his family better and dreaming of the Christmases of their future. That really wasn't so much to ask, was it? Couples typically spent the holidays together unless there was some sort of dire reason.
"You and I will attend Mrs. Hudson's party Christmas Eve," Sherlock intoned, crossing one leg over his knee and staring up at her from where he sat in his favorite chair. His face was devoid of emotion, something that was not uncommon for him.
"I know, but I want to spend Christmas together, Sherlock." She stopped pacing and dropped onto the edge of John's usual chair. Meeting Sherlock's stare, she swallowed back the tears she felt clogging up her throat. "I know it has to do with your family because that's the only holiday where you're all together, typically. Do your parents not like me? Is it Mycroft?"
Sherlock blinked slowly and then sighed as if the conversation was exhausting him. Folding his hands together in his lap, he said, "My family adores you, Hermione. In fact, I sometimes wonder if they like you far better than myself."
"Then why? Why can't we spend the holiday together? Please… You have to at least tell me so that I understand." She was practically begging, her heart breaking with every word she spoke. It wasn't like Sherlock to keep such things from her, she being the only one aside from John who knew him the best.
"It just has to be this way. You're going to have to learn to understand," Sherlock replied, glancing down and then away. Hermione wanted to growl in frustration, but she refrained as he continued. "Perhaps, next year… Things will be different."
"What? When I'm officially a Holmes?" Her face crumpled in confusion, her heart aching to know what secret her love was keeping from her.
"As I said, it's a possibility. There is…" He stopped though, his words trailing off into nothing. He didn't look back at her and so Hermione used the arms of the chair to push to her feet. Stalking toward the door, she said nothing because what else was there to say? Having taken notice of her intention to leave, Sherlock asked, "Are you leaving? I thought we were to have dinner with John and Mary?"
Hermione paused, her hand hovering over her jacket where it hung by the door as she contemplated what to say next. It was true that they had plans, but her heart hurt and she knew she couldn't put on a happy facade right now. Mary would notice in an instant and then they would be in their business which was something both Hermione and Sherlock detested. Deciding what to do, Hermione glanced back over her shoulder to find Sherlock now standing.
"Give Mary and John my best, okay? I- I'm going to go and help Ginny wrap gifts for the kids. She asked me yesterday and I forgot," Hermione said quietly, unable to keep the disappointment from her voice. "I'll probably just stay at my flat tonight." She bit her tongue to keep from saying more as Sherlock took one step towards her. If he came to her, she would probably break, but he somehow knew this and remained where he was.
"Very well. I'll see you tomorrow, then." He nodded once and then slipped his hands into the pockets of his suit pants. Hermione didn't say anything to confirm or deny that as she took her coat from the hook and slipped it on. In fact, she didn't even glance his way again as she left the flat.
. . . .
"So now I don't know what to do," Hermione told Ginny from where she sat surrounded by ribbons and rolls of wrapping paper. Ginny was attempting to wrap gifts for her three children as well as the rest of the Weasley clan.
"Well," Ginny muttered as she tried to get the edges on the gift she was working on just right. "He's definitely keeping something from you, and you have to figure out what it is or let it drop." Smiling as she successfully got the gift perfect, she pushed it aside and frowned at Hermione. "If not, it's only going to tear you two apart."
"I feel like it already has," she admitted, grabbing Poundcake, Lily's new kitten, before she could tear into the ribbons again. She held the kitten in her lap and stroked its ears and smoothed her hand down its back. "He's so distant this time of the year. I'm afraid that we won't…"
"What?" Ginny said running a hand through her hair to get it out of her face. "That you won't make it? Come on, Hermione; you and Sherlock have been through hell. I haven't forgotten that time he got shot… And then when Mary got shot too. Damn, you all have some pretty messed lives."
Hermione lifted Poundcake up and held her against her chest as if she could help alleviate some of the pain she was feeling. "I know, and that's why this time I'm worried this might be the nail in our coffin. I can't do it, Gin. I can't go another Christmas without Sherlock by my side. I love him…"
"I know you do," Ginny said softly, looking at her with sad eyes. "You have to make a decision. Just know, that whatever you choose, I'll be there for you. You're always welcome at our house for Christmas either way."
"Thank you," Hermione replied, setting the kitten on the floor and watching it scurry away, leaving her feeling emptier than before. "That means a lot."
23 December 2016
Hermione was just getting home from work when her mobile rang. It was still tucked in her pocket so she quickly removed it before hanging the cloak on the stand by the door. Without bothering to look, she accepted the call and put the mobile to her ear. "Hello?" she asked as she kicked off her boots and then made her way toward the bedroom.
"Hermione."
Sherlock's voice caused her to stop dead in her tracks. Biting her lip, she suddenly felt guilty. She'd avoided his texts all day and hadn't bothered to call him on her lunch like she normally did. Somehow, she managed to get herself moving again, not saying another word until she was in the bedroom. "Hi," she said, her chest tight with anxiety.
"I was calling to ensure you made it home safely." His voice sounded distant, almost insecure which was odd.
"Uh, yeah," she replied, tucking a curl behind one ear as she glanced around her tidy bedroom in search of something to keep her mind focused. "I just got through the floo, actually."
"Are we getting together this evening?" The 'Are we still in a fight?' went unspoken, but the heaviness of it settled on Hermione nonetheless. "I can bring Italian, if you're hungry."
Closing her eyes, Hermione knew Sherlock was feeling remorseful over their holiday disagreement. He never offered to bring her food. Hell, she was the one who had to make sure he ate on a regular basis. She knew what she had to do, now she just had to summon some of her Gryffindor courage in order to get it done. Pressing a hand against her chest to hold in her pain, she exhaled and then opened her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Sherlock. Not tonight."
"Okay," he replied after a brief pause. It was quiet on the line, and Hermione suspected he was staring out the window as he tried to figure out what to say next. He was never very good handling relationships, often relying on Hermione to make things work for the both of them. This time, though, she couldn't do anything further. He had to be the one to make the effort. "I suppose I will see you tomorrow for Mrs. Hudson's party."
"Actually," Hermione cut in, her heart aching so horribly she was certain it was going to stop beating altogether. "I don't think I'm going to be able to make that either." She had to pause then, her breath hitching as her heart broke. "I've been thinking, and if you can't trust me to understand whatever it is you're keeping from me about Christmas, I can't do this. I can't be with you but not with you. It's all or nothing, Sherlock. That's how a relationship works. I'm so sorry."
Sherlock said nothing for quite a while and Hermione suspected that he may have set aside the mobile. It wouldn't be the first time he'd forgotten he was on the other end of the line. Just when she was starting to believe that was the case, there came a sharp intake of breath. "If you're certain," he said formally, as if she hadn't just called off their relationship, effectively ending their engagement as well.
"I am," she whispered into the mobile, her eyes burning with unshed tears.
"Very well, then. Goodbye, Hermione."
And then the line went dead, Sherlock apparently unwilling to fight for their relationship. She'd suspected as much but still, it hurt. It hurt more than she cared to admit. Sitting down on the edge of her bed, Hermione dropped the mobile onto the mattress and then stared around her bedroom in shock. It was over. Her relationship with Sherlock Holmes was over, and all because he wouldn't tell her why they couldn't spend Christmas together. Dropping her face into her hands, Hermione finally allowed herself to cry knowing that this was going to be the worst Christmas since the war. She was going to be alone, her heart broken into a million tiny pieces.
24 December 2016
Staring at her empty mug, Hermione was trying to decide whether or not she should have tea or hot cocoa. She was leaning more towards the tea, but it was Christmas Eve, after all. Normally at this time, she would be enjoying cocktails at Mrs. Hudson's flat. Her party was always a fun event, one she looked forward to every year. Unfortunately, she couldn't attend considering she and Sherlock were no longer together.
Merlin, what a mess this was turning out to be. Opting for the tea, Hermione used her wand to speed along the process before taking her steaming mug back into her living room. There, she curled up on the couch underneath her favorite quilt and reached for her book. Ginny had invited her over to the Burrow this evening, but she'd declined. She'd be spending the day with the Harry, Ginny, and the entire Weasley clan tomorrow. Tonight she was going to wallow in her heartache and try to begin the horrid process of forgetting.
Easier said than done when every time she turned around there was another memento of her time spent with Sherlock. Sighing heavily, she sipped thoughtfully at her tea and flipped the book open to the page she'd left off on earlier. Even now, she was drawn to a mystery novel, her ex-lover still at the forefront of her mind. Why couldn't he simply be honest and talk to her about whatever was keeping them apart for Christmas? Frowning to herself, Hermione forced herself to focus on the book in her lap, pushing Sherlock and their lost relationship from her mind once and for all.
It was nearing midnight by the time she decided she should finally head to bed. She'd just closed her book and set it on the coffee table next to her empty teacup when the front door of the flat was thrown open and in strode Sherlock. Obviously, he still had access to a key and was making use of it despite the fact that she'd ended their relationship the night before. Sitting there in shock, Hermione was unable to do anything but gape as Sherlock shut the door behind himself and stepped fully into the room.
"Sherlock?"
"I apologize for disturbing you so late."
She blinked up at him from where she still sat on the couch. "What are you doing here?"
"I couldn't wait until morning to speak with you. It had to be tonight. I even ignored a text from Lestrade with a very promising case," he told her, his sea-colored eyes boring into hers. He must really be serious if he was willing to turn down a case.
"Okay…" She was hesitant, worried that she was about to get her heart broken even further. "What did you need to speak to me about?"
"I have loved you from the moment I met you, Hermione," Sherlock proclaimed, dropping to his knees and taking both her hands into his. This was a moment of epic proportions for Sherlock did not show affection easily. It had taken him nearly four months to gather courage enough to ask her to marry him. John had told her about it afterward. "I have spoken with my family and they are willing to include you in our Christmas celebration, that is, if you'll still have me." Meeting her tearful gaze, he squeezed her hands gently and asked, "Will you? Will you forgive my error in judgement and allow me back into your heart?"
"Oh, Sherlock," she breathed, unable to keep the tears from cascading down her cheeks. "You have never left my heart."
And then she leaned forward and captured his lips with her own, and if his cheeks were damp too, she paid it no mind. And when Sherlock let go of her hands so that he could stand and climb on the couch with her, she allowed that too. They took their time undressing one another, almost as if they had been apart for far longer than the span of two days. Then again, maybe they were. Sherlock made love to her slowly, whispering words of affection and making her feel more loved than ever before.
Later, as they lay together under her quilt, their naked bodies intertwined and stated in the way only two people who truly loved one another could be, Sherlock finally spoke once again. "I meant what I said earlier. My family has agreed to disclose our secret earlier than we had originally planned."
Curling further into Sherlock's embrace, Hermione tucked her head underneath Sherlock's chin and sighed happily. "Why didn't you just open up to me about this beforehand? I would have understood had you told me it was something you yourself couldn't talk to me about without consulting them first."
Smoothing a hand over Hermione's curls, Sherlock kept his eyes closed as he replied. "I didn't believe it would cause such a rift between the two of us," he admitted. "Then again, Eurus always seems to have that effect on people whether she knows it or not."
"Who's Eurus?" Hermione asked, tipping her head up to stare questioningly at her once again fiancé. His nose crinkled slightly as he struggled to tell her the truth, but when he opened his eyes, all she could see was his resolution to be forthcoming with her.
"She is my sister," Sherlock began slowly, watching Hermione for any signs of distress. Hermione said nothing, but her eyebrows did raise as her eyes went wide. "And there are a few, shall we say, stipulations and procedures you need to know about before you meet her tomorrow…"
25 December 2016
Finding out Sherlock had a secret sister was really no big deal. Finding out Sherlock had a secret sister who was locked away in high security prison on a secret island, well, that was a bit more than she'd anticipated. It now made sense why Sherlock was unwilling to share his Christmas plans with her every year. Hermione had listened intently the night before as Sherlock explained his sister's particular predicament and the security measures that were in place to protect her and those that visited. It was a lot easier to understand her fiancé's reluctance to include her, but she was thankful he'd done so all the same.
Standing now inside the meager space Eurus called home, Hermione found her heart beating rapidly as she stared at the woman on the other side of the glass. Mycroft and Mr. and Mrs. Holmes were quietly talking to the other Holmes sibling while she stood back with Sherlock. When he took her hand and gave her a small smile, she returned it, ignoring the nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. Really, she had no reason to feel this way. She'd visited Azkaban on numerous occasions being the head of the MLE. This place was quite similar.
Before Sherlock could say a word, his sister spoke, her voice sounding distorted through the microphone installed in the cell. "Sherlock," she said, amusement in her tone. "I see you've finally brought your fiancée to meet me."
He nodded and then began to walk forward, never letting go of Hermione's hand so she was forced to move with him. "Eurus, I see you are doing well. This is Hermione, the woman I was telling you about."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Granger." Eurus took a hesitant step toward the glass partition before glancing at Mycroft. He gave a subtle nod and then she moved so that she was right in front of it. "Sherlock has told me much about you. He adores you endlessly."
"I adore him too," Hermione replied, glancing at Sherlock with affection. She squeezed his hand as they stopped before the glass and then smiled at Eurus. "I'm glad I'm finally learning of you."
"I'm the black sheep of the family; no one ever gets to know about me unless they're in the family." This was said with no malice, but it still made Hermione's heart sad. She was well aware of the reasons why Eurus was kept in her little glass room. Glancing at everyone who'd come to visit her, Eurus smiled despite her situation. "While I won't get to attend your wedding this summer, I do appreciate that we can all be together at Christmas, however."
"Enough, Eurus," Mycroft cut in, drawing her attention away from Hermione. "We're only here for a short time, so let's celebrate. I believe Sherlock brought his violin." The oldest Holmes brother gestured toward Sherlock, who did have his violin ready. Hermione joined Mr. and Mrs. Holmes to watch as Sherlock and Eurus performed for them.
Mycroft patted her on the knee when he joined them shortly after the playing began. He leaned closer so she could hear him and whispered, "Sherlock threw quite the fit in order to get you clearance to be here today. He must truly love you."
Hermione blushed, and glanced at her lap. "I love him, too. I'm sorry if I caused any trouble."
"Nothing nearly as dramatic as Sherlock is prone to, I can assure you." Chuckling, probably more to himself than anything else, Mycroft added, "I should welcome you to the family, Mrs. Holmes. Paperwork had to be acquired in order to allow you on the island."
Hermione's eyes went wide and she merely gaped at Mycroft as he turned his full attention to his younger siblings. "But the wedding?" she hissed, not wanting to draw attention to their conversation.
"Will still happen as planned," he assured her. "The paperwork is simply no longer an issue. Congratulations."
Staring at Mycroft, Hermione wasn't sure whether to feel angry or joyous. Sherlock really had gone out of his way to ensure they could be together at Christmas. Quickly, so he wouldn't be able to stop her, Hermione pecked Mycroft on the cheek. "Thank you, Mycroft. Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas," he replied, his cheeks tinged in embarrassment. "Now hush and enjoy the show." She obliged, watching her husband and his sister play Christmas song after Christmas song. It wasn't a traditional way to spend the holiday, but Hermione didn't mind. She was just thankful to be here with her new family, Sherlock especially.
That night, Sherlock and Hermione lay together on their bed in 221B. They were still clothed, both strung too tight to do much more than enjoy the comfort of one another's arms just yet. They had both been wrong; Sherlock keeping secrets and Hermione unwilling to keep her emotions from making rash decisions for her. Intertwining their fingers, Hermione sighed and decided she might as well break the silence.
"Sherlock?"
"Hmmm?" Other than that, he did not open his eyes, his hand rubbing up and down her spine in a most soothing manner.
"I wanted to apologize too. I was wrong to break things off between us like I did." Her words were met with a smile, and that surprised Hermione to no end. She wanted to question him on that, but he beat her to the punch.
"You had every right. I am quite difficult and I suspect that will never change." Placing a gentle kiss to her forehead he added, "All is forgiven, Hermione. Let us table our troubles for another day. Christmas is a time for loved ones to be together, not break each other's hearts."
"I suppose you're right…" Hermione trailed off, surprised by his words. However, she was unsurprised to see his smile turn into a salacious grin before he rolled her so that he was straddling her hips.
"I hear make up sex can be even better than normal coupling," Sherlock told her, his hungry stare making her skin turn hot. "Care to help me test the hypothesis?"
Laughing, Hermione rolled her eyes. "You're incorrigible, Sherlock." When her statement was met with a simple quirk of an eyebrow, she relented. "Oh, all right, husband."
His eyes went wide at the realization that she'd been told the secret reason her presence was permitted on the island. Taking pity on him, she tugged him down for a kiss, enjoying the way he melted into the embrace. They spent the remainder of Christmas basking in the love of one another, no longer worrying about whether or not they would be apart. Sometimes it took taking a step backward in order to move forward. Their relationship wasn't perfect, but that's what made it so special. Hermione didn't care where they spent Christmas; as long as she was with Sherlock, she would be happy.
