Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, and I dedicate this chapter to a friend of mine who is probably one of the most mature people I know! He's funny and nice and even after we fight, we act like nothing ever happened and we go back to being the goofballs we were meant to be! So this chapter kind of bases on that idea, it's just, we don't end up like Roanoke and Talla in the end! Thanks for being a fellow friend and writer, Christian! (and omg, he's not gay! can you believe it?!) Hope you all enjoy the chapter and no, things haven't changed, I still own Roanoke and I still want Tallahassee!
Zombieland: Cherish What's Left Over
Chapter 7: Nonsense
That night, Wichita and Roanoke were cleaning dishes while Columbus and Tallahassee argued over what movie to watch and Little Rock doodled on the floor in the fort her and Tallahassee made. When Roanoke tried to help make the fort (she used to make those things all the time when she was a kid and she was very skilled), Tallahassee told her to screw off. "That man is so mature it's scary." said Roanoke, scrubbing a plate. Wichita snorted. "I know, right? He is such a two-thousand ten Fabio." Roanoke doubled over laughing, imagining Tallahassee with Fabio hair. When she doubled over, her face went straight into the dish water, and when she rose back up again, her nose was covered in suds. Wichita looked at her and laughed like a howler monkey.
Meanwhile, Tallahassee looked up from his argument with Columbus to the sound of the girls' constant, loud laughter. "I swear, what is so funny about washing dishes?!" he yelled towards the kitchen. In the kitchen, Roanoke winked to Wichita and yelled back to the southern man. "Come here and I'll show you!" she yelled, biting her lip to keep from laughing again. She made a shushing gesture to Wichita and scooped up a large handful of suds and bubbles into her hand. Tallahassee rolled his eyes, set his movie down and walked into the kitchen. "What?" he snapped, standing directly behind Roanoke, staring at Wichita, whose face was turning purple. Roanoke turned around and shoved the handful of bubbles into his face. The bubbles stuck and Roanoke and Wichita tossed their heads back and laughed. You couldn't even see Tallahassee's face, it was buried in bubbles, Roanoke could tell he was peeved though. "You know what? That's very funny, let me try." said Tallahassee, wiping his face and scooping up his own handful of extremely soapy dishwater. He then shoved his share down Roanoke's new, clean shirt that she had gotten from Wichita this evening. Roanoke gasped and looked down at the black v-neck tee. The top half was now a shade darker due to the water. She looked up and glared daggers at Florida who was grinning smugly.
Wichita recovered from her laughing fit and took a handful of bubbles herself, and slathered the water all over Tallahassee's shirt. Roanoke sputtered laughter and got another handful, neatly spreading the suds over the top of his head, making it look like he had a white, bubbly mohawk. Tallahassee frowned and took two handfuls of the water and splashing them all over the girls making them scream as water and bubbles flew everywhere. Tallahassee howled with laughter which sounded like a southern hyena sort of. By now, Columbus too, had begun to wonder, what was so funny about washing dishes? 'If Tallahassee's laughing, it must be good.' he thought, setting his armful of movies down and shuffling towards the kitchen and sticking his head around the corner. "Hey guys, wh--" Columbus' face had met a cluster of bubbles as soon as his head showed through the doorway. The other three froze, realizing that Roanoke's toss had missed Tallahassee and nailed Columbus right in the face. After an akward moment of looking guilty and shocked, the three burst into laughter and Columbus wiped his face off. "What are you guys doing?" he asked. Tallahassee just threw another fistful of suds into his face in response. "Real mature guys, real mature." Roanoke, Tallahassee, and Wichita ignored Columbus and got back to their bubble and water fight. By now the floor was soaked and Wichita had pumped more soap into the sink to make it more plentiful of ammo again. Columbus watched the entertainment for another moment, thinking about how immature they were being...and how drenched they were getting....it did look kind of fun. Columbus shrugged and walked over the sink and began to throw water and suds at Wichita. They continued laughing and acting like immature animals until Little Rock came to investigate. She peered around the corner and her face lit up. She had immediately joined in.
The five had managed to lose track of time and after about ten minutes of howling, screaming and laughing, they had all seemed to realize that they were all soaking wet and that the kitchen looked like it had turned into a water park.
"So. Who wants to help clean up?" said Little Rock, her clothes disheveled and her hair still had some lingering bubbles that refused to pop. "Wait a minute, you guys...washed...dirty dishes in this water, right?" asked Columbus, examining himself. At that moment, everyone realized that that was exactly what the girls had previously done, and as if on cue, everyone shuddered at the thought. "Well, I'm off to go take a shower." said Columbus, shaking his wet, moppy head. "Oh no you don't! Haven't you ever heard of the expression, 'ladies first'?" interjected Roanoke, wanting to jump in the bath too. "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you were a lady." said Tallahassee smartly. "Oh, I was just saying that so you could go first, I figured you'd want to since you're a lady." replied Roanoke with a sly grin. "I am not a lady! You, are a man."
"Well if I'm a man, then you're sure as hell a lady!"
"Screw you!"
"I'll pass! Go cuddle your teddy bear until it's time for you to take a shower! Right now, WE ARE TAKING A SHOWER!" screamed Roanoke, getting into Tallahassee's face. Sparks flew between the two while the others just exchanged wide-eyed glances. Roanoke grabbed Wichita by the wrist and led dragged her upstairs, leaving the others behind. "I'll uh, go too." said Little Rock, quickly dashing after the girls. Tallahassee sighed and got a mop out of a closet. "Well, are you just gonna sit there tryin' to use the 'force' or are you gonna help me clean this mess up?" snapped Tallahassee to Columbus. Columbus frowned at the nerd reference but got to work as well with paper towels and sponges.
Upstairs, Wichita, Roanoke and Little Rock were sorting out their pajamas, getting ready for their baths as the water warmed up. "He is such a pig." rambled on about Tallahassee. Wichita and Little Rock exchanged 'I'm so tired of her complaining about it' looks when her back was turned. Roanoke turned around in a huff. "I mean, what's his problem anyway?! Calling me mannish, well I'm callin' him girlish!" Wichita interfered before Roanoke could continue rambling on and on. "Why don't you take a shower, Roanoke, calm your nerves!" Roanoke's face softened. "Yah, I'm sorry, if you want to, one of you can go first." she offered, motioning her hand towards the door. "Nah, we're good, you go first." said Little Rock. "Thanks." Roanoke replied, and she turned and marched out the door towards the bathroom, mumbling something on the way there along the lines of: "Callin' me mannish, I probably have more hair than him! Heck, Little Rock probably has more hair than him!" she grumbled and slamming the bathroom door when she got there.
Little Rock side-stared at Wichita for a moment. She seemed to be deep in thought. "What are you thinking about, sis?" Wichita looked up from her thoughts and smiled softly at her sister. "Oh, nothing, you want to go put Columbus' underwear in Tallahassee's bed?" Little Rock smiled evilly and dashed down the hallways towards Columbus' room.
Downstairs, Tallahassee and Columbus had finished cleaning and Tallahassee leaned up against the counter feeling small. "That girl can not come into my life and yell at me and make me clean floors!" he said to Columbus, who could really care less. "Well, technically, Tallahassee, she didn't even mention the floors, you cleaned them on your own." Tallahassee glared at Columbus for a second. "You wanna feel how hard I can punch?" Columbus rolled his eyes and walked out of the kitchen. "Oh, so you're on her side! I see how it is!" Columbus poked his head around the corner. "Grow up, Tallahassee, she's new to the group, she doesn't know us, you tie her up rather savagely and don't care at all for what she's feeling, I can't blame her for being like she is towards you, not to mention, we don't know two cents worth about her, she can only feel but so comfortable so stop acting like such an ass." he said, feeling quite proud of himself for standing up to Tallahassee before going back around the corner and heading upstairs. Tallahassee's jaw dropped to the floor. That paranoid, phobic, Wichita-obsessed nerd just told him what was what. Sure, he could give him credit for that, but then again, it would be more fun to go hit him for it...yeah, the second option sounded best. Tallahassee went upstairs after Columbus, but stopped halfway down the hallway beside a closed door. He thought he heard crying coming from the inside of the room. He heard Wichita and Columbus saying comforting things like, 'it's okay' and 'it'll be alright'. Tallahassee swallowed hard and leaned in closer so he could hear better. Yeah, it was crying alright. Tallahassee's eyes widened as he confirmed that he heard crying. "Aw, man! Don't tell me the chick's crying!" he whispered to himself, running his hands over his face. He went back downstairs and plopped down on the recliner in the living room. He did not make her cry, there was no way he made her cry! "Ugh! Don't dish it out if you can't take it!" he said, but then again, he still felt pretty bad. He leaned back in his seat and sighed. Whatever, the girl would have to get over it, but it wouldn't feel right to not apologize. He did feel pretty bad, he did, after all, forcefully kidnap her, tackle her to the ground, which he knew must have hurt, and tied her up and yelled at her frequently. There was no way around it, he'd have to apologize to her later.
Later, Roanoke came downstairs dressed in silk pajama bottoms, a tight-fitting t-shirt and blue slippers. Her green hair was damp and more tousled than normal. She walked through the living room, not even sparing Tallahassee a glance, and headed for the glass door that headed to the porch. She went through the door and slid it closed behind her. Tallahassee's gaze followed her until he couldn't see her anymore. He looked around to see if any of the others were downstairs. When he confirmed that everything was clear, he went after her. He walked out onto the porch and closed the door. He saw her sitting on the wooden porch floor with her legs pulled up close to her body and her arms wrapped around them. Her head rested on her knees. "Howdy." he said plainly. Roanoke looked up at him, not moving her head. "Hi." she said shyly, turning her eyes back to the starlit sky. "You, uh, okay?" he asked, sitting down beside her. "Why would you care all of a sudden?" she asked coldly. Tallahassee sighed. He really wasn't good at these sort of things. "Well, you seemed a bit upset earlier."
"No dip." Tallahassee gritted his teeth, she was really p.o.d. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to think of a way to talk without getting chewed out every time. "Well, I, uh, wanted to say, uh...I'm sorry about...uh, earlier." Roanoke looked at him curiously. "What's your reason for apologizing? Columbus make you or something?" Tallahassee gritted his teeth harder. "Uh, no, not entirely, I just, uh, heard you um..." Roanoke scooted a little closer to him. "Heard me what?" Tallahassee paused. "I uh, heard you cryin' upstairs earlier and uh, I just wanted to say that I was sorry for makin' you cry, I didn't think I would hurt you that bad." Roanoke furrowed her brow and tilted her head at him. "Crying? I wasn't crying." Tallahassee rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, you don't have to lie to cover your pride or whatever, I heard you cryin' to Columbo and Wichita."
"Man, I wasn't crying, that was Little Rock, she stubbed her toe real hard on the bed-post, you should see it! It's all blue and purple!" Roanoke explained, trying her best to keep from laughing at Tallahassee's face. He looked like a criminal that just got caught. "So I apologized for no reason at all." he said, staring blankly ahead of him. "No, not really, I'm glad you did though, it makes me feel a lot better, you're actually not that bad. Thank you for being concerned about me."
"I wasn't concerned, I just didn't want everyone else on my tail fer makin' you sob you brains out." Roanoke scoffed. "Sure you didn't. Well, whatever, thank you anyway, maybe you're not so dang on irritatin' after all." she said, standing up, kissing him on the top of his head and heading back inside. "Hey, Tallahassee." she said, turning her head. Tallahassee, still recovering from the fact that she just kissed him, turned his head and grunted. "I'm glad you're a survivor." she said before going inside. Tallahassee turned back around and looked up at the bright night sky. He smiled. "Me too, sweet cheeks, me too."
So leave a review please, if you review, you get a doughnut!
Tallahassee: and you get to live.
Roanoke: indeed, you were really sweet in this chapter!
Tallahassee: you wanna feel how hard I can punch?
Wichita: yes, so leave a review or I will take your car!
Little Rock: no, we can't have that, now can we?
Columbus: and remember to include nice critism and ideas/suggestions/requests! No flames! Flames are evil!
Roanoke: you heard him! If you don't review, you don't get a doughnut, Tallahassee will come find you, Wichita will steal your car and if you flame, Columbus will cry and have a panic attack, also, you please the button who has dreams and desires to be clicked on! So review you b******!!! Or else!
