SM OWNS ALL RIGHTS I AM JUST HAVING FUN


I miss the night. It has been almost three years since I have been exposed to the night sky, the closest I have gotten was driving with the windows down. Really not even close.

I was currently locked away on the fifteenth floor of yet another hotel and still running but I was starting to question why. Yeah Victoria was trying to kill me but for the life of me I still didn't know why I was running anymore. I wasn't with the Cullen's and I was fairly sure that they had forgotten about me by now. Probably found another "distraction", HE may have even moved on to someone new by now. The thought of him with someone else felt like a slow death to me so I didn't allow myself to dwell on it often.

Could I really blame him though? I don't want to be with myself so why would he want to be with me? Shaking my head I stood up trying to rid myself of all the thoughts of HIM. It was hard to stop though and I knew if I kept thinking about it, it would make both the pain in my chest and the nightmares worse.

This was my life. I still woke up every night screaming. The giant hole in my chest never got better but I had come to embrace the pain. It reminded me I was alive, but I was tired, and I was just ready for it to just be over.

For the most part I felt like I was running for nothing. There were no signs of someone following me everywhere. Every now and then I would catch wind of someone in the area looking for me, but I had learned long ago that if you gave a little bit of money to the desk clerks and the security guards where ever I was staying, they would give me heads up at the first sign of trouble and I didn't wait around to see who was looking for me. I never unpacked and kept everything together, so at the first sign of trouble I could just grab and go.

IF IF IF…. This was all that went through my head anymore. IF I went home I would be breaking a promise to HIM. IF I stayed away I hurt Charlie more and more. IF I just tried to kill myself I would hurt Charlie and with my luck someone would find me before I was dead then I would be trapped in some hospital with no where to run. IF I just let Victoria find me it would end all my troubles but it would be painful and long… and I may be a little suicidal but I wanted it over quickly, NOT drawn out or hurting everyone around me.

I had a set of rules I made myself adhere to. First rule of running, stay in no one place for more than a week. It tended to draw attention and it gave who ever was looking for me a chance to catch up. Second rule ALWAYS get a room high up. Vamps could jump fairly high but if you stayed no lower than the fifth floor, I figured that it would be harder to get to. Third, only go out of the hotel when it was sunny. I would never leave my room before 11:00am and I would ALWAYS be back by 3:00. Fourth, stay in a well populated area. It would be harder for anyone to grab me at noon on a main street. Last and the most important, trust NO ONE. You always paid someone who could watch the entrances so they could warn you if someone came looking but other than that talk to no one unless you had to.

I watched TV a lot and I could stop in a book store and buy a couple books, read them then drop them in a deposit box of some library. I only kept things on me that would fit in my bag. When I got a few books accumulated it took up to much space so I would just donate them. Easy solution.

I kept my calls home to Charlie to a minimum. I was always afraid who was watching him or listening. I would pick a payphone once a month and check in with him. It had been almost a month and a half since my last call. I had a close call back in Houston. The desk clerk said that someone had just called the hotel and was inquiring about the guests in the hotel. The description the woman gave the clerk was matched mine so I took off. I never found time to call him last month and suddenly I had an urge to hear his voice.

I was currently staying in Redding, California. This was the closest I have been to home in three long years. At exactly 11:00am I left the hotel room in search of a pay phone. I took my bag with me because I never took the chance that I would have to take off if I was out. I didn't want to have to try to go back to the hotel if something happened.

By 11:30 I had my lunch and I pulled into a gas station to use the phone. I dialed Charlie's cell number and waited. No answer. This had never happened before. Charlie always answered his cell when I called. I tried one more time and when I didn't get an answer the second time I dialed the home number, but I wasn't prepared for who answered the phone. It wasn't Charlie it was none other than Dr. Carlisle Cullen himself. I would recognize the voice anywhere.

"Bella is that you? Please don't hang up!"

"Where is my father Carlisle and why are you answering his phone?"

"He is gone Bella."

"Where is he? I tried calling his cell but it just went to voicemail…."

"NO Bella… I mean he is dead honey. He was found dead in his bed two weeks ago. Alice said you would call the house today and we figured you would be least likely to hang up on me. Bella you have to come home. You aren't safe."

"Well no offense Carlisle, but seriously, NO SHIT. Do you think I have been moving so much for my health? OH OR maybe I think it is fun. OH or maybe I enjoyed my dad being upset or having no place to call home. I understand that I have to come home to….. Take care of things but I made a promise to your son that he wouldn't see me again. SOOOOOO this is how this is going to go down. Leave everything that needs my attention on the kitchen table then get the hell out. I will be there with in the next couple days, I am sure if you ask Alice she could pin point it, if she cared, but I am not giving more details than that over the phone. I will take care of what I have to then I will be gone. I will put everything that needs to be filed in your mailbox. How did he die Carlisle?" I knew I was being bitchy but I just couldn't cope right now. So many years of forcing myself to stay calm was helping and the animosity I felt towards all things Cullen helped too. I don't think what he said had sunk in until that moment.

"He was murdered sweetheart. Someone broke in while he was sleeping, someone strong, and they …." he paused almost like he didn't want to say what he was going to say " They broke his neck… He was killed instantly, there was no struggle and no evidence…. We think it was…"

"Victoria…" I whispered knowing he could hear. All the running I did, all the moving, being so damn careful trying to keep him safe and the bitch killed him anyway. It just wasn't fair. I started to cry.

"Yes sweetheart we think it was Victoria but we don't think she acted alone. He was killed but all his blood was accounted for. If it was Victoria alone we believe she would have drained him, unless she was trying to send a message. But we smelled something…"

"Honestly Carlisle I will take care of it after I leave Forks again. She won't be able to hurt anyone else just to get to me…. There is no one else left that cares… Just do what I asked leave the stuff on the table and go…" I hung up the phone and started driving. I couldn't talk to Carlisle anymore at that moment.

I got on the interstate heading north. I could make it back to Forks from where I was at in less than twelve hours. I would have to break a couple of my own rules but for my dad I would. Even if it was the last thing I did. It would be dark when I arrived but I had to say my goodbyes to him. Shit at this moment I didn't care if Victoria got a hold of me.

I was done… and it was decided. I would say my goodbyes to my father and this shit life and then go be with my parents.

The drive back to Forks felt like it was the longest drive ever. It felt like some cruel joke. I had never in my life hurt anything or anybody, but every single fucking dream I had was ripped from my hands. I had nothing to live for anymore. The only thing I wanted to do was drive up to the house and find my dad sitting in his chair watching some ball game on the flat screen but I knew that wouldn't happen. Never again….

Sometime after nine I pulled into town. The hole in my chest was throbbing painfully making it hard to breath. Nothing had changed. I drove around for a minute avoiding the house. I felt like I was doing something criminal, like any minute the Forks PD would pull me over and lock me up.

I drove past the school and let myself think back to the carefree days spent here. God how I wished I could go back to those days. The pain got a little worse. Taking a deep calming breath I continued to drive.

Moments later I pulled up in front of the house… the house that I had grown to love and that had held the life I had left behind. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer that I had been holding since I talked to Carlisle, they started to flow freely.

I dug out the house key, knowing that I couldn't linger outside. I had to go fast, do what I had to do, and then get the hell out of dodge before I could run into anyone I didn't want to.

There were a few lights on and it took me a moment to assure myself that Carlisle had probably left a light on for me. I mean I knew a Vamp didn't need the lights to see in the dark and if one was going to try to kill me they would probably prefer to use the darkness and shadows to catch me off guard. So lights on was a good thing… I hoped. That helped with the thought of going into the house but the walk from the car to the house is what was scaring the hell out of me.

SUCK IT UP BELLA AND GET IT OVER WITH! I screamed to myself.

I turned off the car, took a deep breath, and was out of the car running towards the door in a matter of seconds. Thankfully I didn't fall and I made it to the door. My hands were shaking so bad it took me a second to get the door unlocked. I flung the door open, stepped inside, slammed the door, and locked it behind me. I was breathing heavily with my forehead pressed to the wooden door.

In hind sight I probably should have looked around as soon as I opened the door. But the fear of being outside in the dark was overwhelming. I stood there for a second with my head on the door, crying to myself when I suddenly just knew I wasn't alone.

I started to scream when I felt someone's cold hand go over my mouth and around my waist.

I freaked out. I couldn't think straight. Panic overtook every fiber of my being. I knew it was a vampire that had me and I knew there was at least one more behind the one that had me, possibly more. I also knew I couldn't hurt whoever had me, but that didn't stop me from trying.

I started swinging my hands and kicking my feet. I don't think they were expecting that because their grip loosened enough for me to spin around and swing with everything I had. Stupid I know.. But you think straight when you think you are about to die.

My hand connected with my attacker and I felt my wrist snap. I knew it was broke and I was pretty sure a few knuckles were broke too, but I went to swing with the other hand when my hand was caught mid swing. So I took a step forward so I didn't have my back against the door and pulled my foot back ready to kick.

Suddenly someone else had my arms pinned to my side and a set of cold arms were wrapped around me as I was lifted off the ground. I closed my eyes and started to scream when I felt a hand go over my mouth. I started to cry. I was trapped. After all this time…. I couldn't catch my breath and my whole arm was numb by now.

"BELLA OPEN YOUR EYES AND BREATH! You are ok. We won't hurt you I promise." he started laughing.

The voice surprised me and my eyes snapped open. There standing not two feet from me was none other than Emmet Cullen. The fear I felt was replaced with rage.

"I will let you go if you don't attack him again." This voice was one of them I hoped I wouldn't hear while I was home. It was HIS voice and that meant they were his arms wrapped around me holding me to him.

I am not sure what pissed me off more, the fact that I had told the Cullen's to leave the shit I needed and get the hell out or if it was the fact that there in my house all four Cullen men were standing in my doorway laughing at me.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I screamed at them "AND LET ME THE FUCK GO CULLEN!"

"Not until you calm down." he stated calmly.

"Well then you better be glad your arms won't get tired because I have no plans on calming down any time soon! Now let me go and get out."

"Yeah… uh… I am sorry but that's not going to happen love. You have to come with us it's the only way you will be safe." Edward replied calmly and it pissed me off to no end that he was so calm.

"Bells you have one hell of a right hook and you are so funny when your pissed!" I swear if I could have done anything to move at that moment I would have attempted to strangle Emmet. It was about that moment that I knew that Jasper was closer. I felt the calming waves starting to calm me down and that pissed me off too.

"JASPER HALE! SO HELP ME GOD YOU BETTER STOP!" I ranted but the feeling of peace increased and Emmet doubled over laughing at me. I slumped back against Edward helplessly. I blinked once and Carlisle was in front of me taking my hand to look at it.

"Its broke sweetheart you will need a cast. Let's take her to the house. I have the stuff there to take care of it." Carlisle said.

"I won't go anywhere with you guys. You will let me go and then you will probably have to take my foot out of Emmet's ass if he doesn't stop laughing at me" I replied. Of course this only made Emmet laugh harder and I distinctly heard Jasper and Edward chuckle.

"Bella I know you don't understand what is going on right now and you have a lot to process… and I hate to do this to you… but honey we all love you and we won't just stand by and let you get hurt, by yourself or anyone else. You are going to come with us. This isn't up for discussion. You can choose, however, whether you walk out on your own or if Edward carries you." Carlisle replied. "And if you want to attack Emmet I wouldn't use your foot… you already broke an wrist and it looks like three knuckles, lets not try for an ankle too."

I clenched my jaw and tried in vain to resist Jasper. I started struggling again and I felt Jasper's lay his hand gently on my shoulder. The calming waves intensified and pulsed out of him and into my body removing all resistance. At that moment I felt the world slip away as I felt the tears start falling from my eyes yet again.


A/N Bella is not going to make this easy on the Cullen's. She will explain her reasoning but all Cullen's will be doing some groveling very soon. But they are back and she is in Edward's arms and from what Edward has told me…. He isn't letting go anytime soon!