I hope you are all still enjoying this- I only got one review for the last chapter- and this one might be my favorite so far, so I hope you all enjoy. XO

Chapter 7

"Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light.

You'll come back when it's over

No need to say goodbye."

Regina Spektor, The Call

La Guardia International airport is still crowded five days later. There are the wailing babies and the tabloid magazines and the irritating woman who keeps coming over the intercom, reminding them to watch their luggage at all times.

Ziva and Sarah are holding hands, huddled in a private corner just before the security checkpoint.

Sarah's bottom lip is quivering, and Ziva has to fight hard to maintain self-control. Sarah needed her to be strong. 'This is what it means to be a mother.' Ziva thinks dully, sniffling hard and looking her daughter in the eye.

"I am so proud of you, tatelah. You are so strong and beautiful and you did so well. I- I love you very much." Ziva says shakily, wiping a stray tear from Sarah's cheek.

Sarah bites her lip. "I don't really want you to go." She whispers.

Ziva's heart breaks into a million little pieces. She does not want to leave Sarah either- but there is no choice.

"Oh, motek. I have to go, you know this. But you know you can call me whenever you need- day or night. And you are visiting me this summer. We will spend time at the beach, and then you will be a bridesmaid in my wedding."

They are both crying quietly now, big fat tears rolling down their cheeks.

"It's weird. It's like, I only met you a week ago, but I feel like I've known you forever, and now I'm going to miss you and summer is a long way away..." Sarah blubbers.

Ziva's face falls and she pulls Sarah in for a tight hug. "I know, n'sicha. This is very hard for both of us. I am going to miss you with all of my heart. But I promise that now matter how far apart we are, I am always here for you. And you have your parents, who love you more than you can ever know." She whispers into her daughter's hair. "And I love you."

...

"Hello Gibbs," Ziva whispers as she pads down his basement steps, careful to avoid looking at the shadow of a bloodstain that Ari left there.

"Ziver." He acknowledged, pouring her a finger of bourbon. "How ya doin?"

She takes the glass and swallows the drink in one long swig. "I brought you a picture." She avoids, holding out an extra copy of the photograph of her and Sarah. They are smiling genuinely, eyes bright, arms around one another.

Gibbs examines the picture for a long minute. "She's beautiful." He comments, placing it next to the picture of Kelly he keeps on his worktop.

"She is smart, kind, empathetic... She is everything I am not, Gibbs. And I had nothing to do with making her into the beautiful girl she is today."

He shakes his head. "Ziver, you're all those things. And maybe you didn't raise her, but you sure as hell set her up for success."

Ziva ponders that for a moment, pouring herself a healthy serving of bourbon.

"Eli made me give her up." She blurts. "I wanted to keep her, but... He would not let me. He shamed me throughout my entire pregnancy, would throw away the supplies I bought with the money I made waiting tables at a local cafe."

Gibbs gut churned at the thought of a determined, teenaged Ziva, pregnant and drawn, carrying plates from one table to the other, counting tips and buying cribs, only to have them destroyed by Eli.

Gibbs pulled her in for a strong hug. "You are so loved, Ziver. We're all here for you."

...

"Hey." Tony greets quietly as she enters their condo. He's sitting on the couch with the TV turned on low to ESPN.

"I thought you were asleep." Ziva whispers, plopping down next to him. "It is very late."

"I could say the same for you. Where were you?"

"Gibbs." She admits. "I had some things I needed to talk about."

"Care to share?" He lopes a strong arm around her shoulder. She leans her head into his shoulder, comforted.

"He knows what it is like to want something you cannot have- something that should be yours."

There is a comfortable silence. "I know you miss Sarah. I miss her too- she's a great kid, and I can't stop thinking about how great it would be to have her here with us. But she's not, Zi. And there has to come a point where you move on and focus on what you have right in front of you. You can talk on the phone all you want, and she's going to be here this summer."

"That is not enough. I did not ask for this."

"I know the pregnancy was an accident-"

"No. I mean, it was, but I wanted to keep Sarah. Eli made the choice to give her up for me. I had to have a C- section, and he made the arrangements while I was sleeping. I had... Maybe ten minutes with her before he barged in and took her away and I... I could not..." She begins to cry again, overwhelmed with memories and regrets. Tony pulls her close and whispers nonsense in her hair.

She calms down eventually, sniffling and breathing heavily. "When I was in Somalia... I thought I was going to die. And all I could think was that I was never going to meet her. That everything bad in my life was done essentially through my fathers hand, and I would die the way I came into the world- controlled."

"But you didn't die, and you met her. You're here, and Zi, you're free."

"Free." The word feels strange on her tongue, light and heavy at the same time.

"I love you, Ziva. I want to start a family with you."

Her heart stops momentarily, unsure of how to proceed. Yes, she wants to be a mother, to have children of her own. But what about Sarah? Will she be able to raise a child without comparing them to her? Will she be angry? But she knows in her heart of hearts that she and Tony deserve this. "I do too." She whispers. "I love you."

...

Ziva awakes with a start, her heart beating in her throat. At first, she couldn't tell what had woken her, but the wetness of her pajama pants gave her a clue. She breathes in sharply as a pain like she has never experienced grips her stomach.

"Shit." She breathes, knuckles white as she squeezes the blanket between her fingers.

It takes a moment for her to heave herself out of bed, her ankles swollen and sore as she pads quietly down the hall. She doesn't want to wake Eli, but she would have no other ride to the hospital.

The light is on under the door when she approaches, so she knocks lightly.

"Enter." He commands, and she creeps in.

"I am in labor." She whispers, voice shaking.

He raises his eyebrows skeptically. "And?" He drawls, putting down his newspaper.

"I need a ride to the hospital." She replies, practically begging.

He sighs exasperatedly, flicking the cigarette held between his pointer and middle fingers.

"It is late, Ziva, and I had a long day at work. You will need to find a ride there."

Her bottom lip trembles and her eyes sting with unshed tears, but she simply turns away from the door, wakes Tali, and together they head over to the Goldman's.

"Is there anyone I can call for you?" Chana asks as they get in the car, Ziva gripping Tali's hand tightly as another contraction hits. "No."