a/n: Oh snap. 3.3k words outta nowhere. And I know how the rest of the story's gonna go! Huzzah.
If you're reading and enjoying, maybe a review? :)
Chapter 7: Atonement, Pt. 2
So now I think that I could
Love you back,
And I hope it's not too late 'cause you're attractive.
-The Lumineers, "Flowers in Your Hair"
"Whoa, hey, where do you think you're going?"
Layla let out a little shriek as a hulking form materialized out of the dark directly in front of her. "Oh," she said a second later, "it's you. Fuck me! You scared the shit outta me. Don't jump out at people like that."
"Sorry," Dean muttered. "You weren't really paying attention."
She brushed at her cheeks and tried to hide a sniffle. "I was distracted. What are you doing out here anyway? Where's your brother?"
"He went around back to get some herbs for the hex bag," he said, thrilled at the change of subject. "It'll keep you hidden from Crowley. I'm doing exactly what I said: getting beer. Want one?"
"Yeah, thanks. Is this your car? It's cool. An Impala, right?"
"Heey, yeah. You know cars?"
"A little," she said, taking the bottle he held out to her. "My brother knew them. I picked up a bit here and there." She drank. "Plus Cas might have mentioned it," she said with half a grin.
"Sneaky bastard," he said.
An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Dean shifted his weight. Tossed his bottle cap into the brush. "Look, the thing about Cas—"
"You don't have to defend your friend to me, Dean."
He sighed. Maybe he didn't, but he wanted to. "I know what he did. Believe me, I was there for all of it. I begged him to stop, and he…he just got worse. He broke Sammy, but then he fixed him again. He saved my life again and again in Purgatory. He got me out." He lifted his hands in a shrug.
"What do you want me to say? He's not evil. And I know he's sorry for what he's done. I've known that from the moment I met him. It hangs off of him like a shroud. It's why I let him in my car. I could see the shadow of his sorrow, and it touched me." She echoed his shrug with one of her own. "I have a soft spot for hard luck cases."
"He's all tied up over you."
Her brows drew together and her eyes flicked away. "That's not…he's not…" She was suddenly flustered. "That's kinda beside the point," she said.
"I don't think it is. He's in knots, and you're pissed, and if you hurt him I'll have to hurt you, and I really hate hitting women who aren't monsters."
Surprise caused her to meet his clear, steady gaze, and she let out a short, quiet laugh. "It's not that simple, Dean. The day they died…I've been so angry. It's the core of me. It's what fuels me. Gets me up in the morning, puts me to bed at night, and keeps me going in between. When he killed them, he might as well have killed me, too, because I'll never be the same woman I was back then. What do I do with this anger? How do I live without it?"
Dean's mouth lifted at the corner as he raised the bottle to his lips. "Sister, you're askin' the wrong guy," he said.
"You use it," Sam said from the other side of the car.
"Use it how?" she said.
"Cas killed your family, but he's trying to atone for it. Help him. Take your anger out on the real bad guy here," he said.
"Crowley," she said.
"Crowley," Dean echoed.
"Crowley," Sam said. "He wants that key you have, and if he gets it back, he's not letting it go again. If we can get it to this kid we know, Kevin, we can use it to close the gates of Hell forever. Crowley'll be sealed inside and he can never hurt anyone ever again."
"Close the gates?" she said. "That's an interesting idea." She paused to consider. Paced away and back again. "It sounds great, but what about the damned souls?" she said in a thoughtful voice.
"What about them?" Dean said.
"There's a story. A Neil Gaiman story. Lucifer decides he's bored with being Emperor of Hell, so he kicks everyone out and locks the gates. Problem one: all the demons and nasty souls are out roaming around wreaking havoc on earth, and someone needs to put them back."
"That won't be a problem. We're going to seal everything inside," Dean said.
"Right, okay, I get that. Problem two: while Hell was sealed, any of the damned who died had nowhere to go. Death was running around like a crazy woman because she had nowhere to take anyone. What happens to the damned if Hell is closed?"
The brothers' eyes met across the hood of the car. Clearly it was something they hadn't thought of. It was a problem worth considering, but it seemed too abstract a concept to get hung up on right now.
"I don't know," Sam said. "But, Layla, this is our chance. We need your help. Cas needs your help. I know you're pissed at him, but—"
"Okay."
Sam blinked. "What?"
"I said okay. I'll help you. Let's get this Kevin kid and do the voodoo. Lock the door."
"All right!" Dean said. He held up his bottle. "Here's to the little nerdy guy with wings."
She smiled and turned back toward the cabin. "You just gonna leave me hangin' here?" he said.
"Sorry," she said over her shoulder, "I've got a date with an angel."
"I can't believe it," Dean said as the door closed behind her. "Cas is gettin' more action than me. Everything else was just a warm up: this is the end of the world."
He was sitting exactly where she'd left him when she came back inside. His head was down and his hair was still sticking out every which way. She let the door close behind her with a little bang, and he looked up with a frown.
"Oh," he said. "You came back."
Her brows flicked toward her hairline. "Where else would I go? We left my car back at that motel, remember?"
"Right," he said. "I'm sorry. We'll go back and get it."
"Eventually. It's probably crawling with demons right now."
He said nothing. The space between them simmered with silent anger. The force of it brought him to his feet. "You have no right—"
"I have every right."
"I was only trying—"
"I know what you were trying, Cas. You're the one who has no right. Don't you get it? I'm not mad at you for what you did back then. When humans fuck up they do it on a human scale; when angels fuck up they do things like burn down churches and unleash legendary monsters unto the world. Atonement comes through…" She threw her hands up.
"I don't know. I don't know where atonement comes from. Maybe no one does. But I sure as hell know it doesn't come from stalking down strange women with the hopes of fixing all their problems. That's the most noble and arrogant idea I've ever heard. You meddled in my life enough, however inadvertently; I don't need you meddling any further."
His face twisted. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I know that's inadequate."
"I know you didn't. I just…did you think, Cas? Before any of this? What was your plan? And what was with that kiss? And…and this afternoon in the motel? The way you touched my face?"
She put her fingers to her cheek as though she could still feel him there, the sparks against her skin. Tried to brush the sensation away and knew it was hopeless.
"You said my hair is the color of copper and you like my freckles. You held me while I cried in my underwear and didn't act like a sleaze about it. What was your plan?" she said again. "What was going to happen when the road trip was over? You'd zap out of my life and I'd go on my way and…" She trailed off. Bit her lip. "Was all of that just some experiment in human experiences for you?"
He managed to look both horrified and befuddled, a combination so at odds that it almost made her laugh despite everything. "I didn't plan anything, Layla. I never thought I would find you so…overwhelming. My interactions with humans have largely been limited to Dean and Sam, and very little about them has prepared me for…you."
"Because I'm a girl?"
He shifted. Swallowed. "Yes," he said. She'd had no idea angels could blush.
"Hum," she said. "Dean's pretty like a girl."
He opened his mouth. Tilted his head. "I've never felt the urge to kiss Dean."
"That's weird. I kinda felt the urge to kiss Dean, and I'm not sure I even like him."
"Layla—"
"Cas," she said with a laugh, "I'm teasing you." She stepped toward him. Wrapped her fingers around the lapels of his coat. "You said I'm the second person you've kissed," she said, voice soft. "Who was the first?"
"Her name was Meg. She was a demon, but an ally. I was feeling reckless. It was…an experiment in experience."
"I see," she said. "You experiment any further with this demon ally?"
His midnight eyes were steady on hers. He pressed a hand on the small of her back and pulled her a step closer. "No," he said.
She slid her hands up to his shoulders. The material was slick and cool beneath her fingers, but she could feel the heat of him through the layers of fabric, that unique electric energy like bottled lightning. He bowed his head and she rested her forehead against his. "Cas," she murmured, "Cas, this is impossible."
"We can leave," he said, his breath a hot rush against her skin. She shivered. "We could go anywhere. Forget the key; leave it here for Sam and Dean." He turned his head; rubbed his cheek against hers, his jaw up along her temple.
She leaned into it like a cat, each golden spark melting into the next until all she felt was a wave of glittering warmth. What was that? It had to be an angel thing. She let out a little sigh. Opened her eyes and leaned back to look at him.
"You don't mean that," she said. "I know you don't."
"No," he said, "I don't." He frowned. "But I am beginning to understand why this is so strongly discouraged in Heaven."
Her eyes went wide and she let out a sharp, bright laugh. Their eyes met again and her smile faded. He cupped her face in his big hands. "I would like to kiss you again," he said. "Before I do, I want you to know it's not just a moment. There is no snow. I want to kiss you because I haven't been able to forget the taste of you since the first time, and kissing you again would make me happy."
"There's no need to monologue about it, Cas. Now's kinda the moment in the story when the guy kisses the girl."
"I didn't know ours was that kind of story."
"I guess it is now, angel boy," she said, and kissed him.
When Dean opened the door a few hours later, he stopped short and Sam ran into his back with a grumble of surprise. "What the hell, Cas? You know there's a bedroom?"
Cas extricated himself from the soft tangle of limbs, afghan, and sweet-scented hair. Layla murmured and shifted, but he soothed her with a quiet word and a light touch to her cheek. He turned to Dean, straightened his coat, and glowered. "She's sleeping. Please try not to wake her."
Sam pushed his brother the rest of the way inside and closed the door behind him. "We just heard from Kevin. I don't think that kid sleeps." He screwed up his face and shook his head. "Anyway, there's something in the tablet. He knows where we need to take the key, and he knows how to use it. He wants us to pick him up."
"If we leave now we can be at Garth's houseboat by tomorrow afternoon," Dean said.
Cas studied them. "When was the last time either of you slept?" he said.
The brothers shared a look. "You care about sleep now?" Dean said.
"You've stressed its importance many times."
"Yeah, but—" He stopped. Glanced at the girl on the couch. Back at Cas. "Right. I guess I am pretty beat. How about you, Sammy?"
"Yup. I could definitely use a few hours."
"Good," Cas said. "We'll leave in the morning." He started back toward the couch, but Dean stopped him.
"C'mere," he said and pulled him toward the kitchen.
Cas followed with a curious frown. Dean leaned against the counter and watched him through shrewd eyes. "So what the hell happened, man?" he finally said. "She came back in here, and I thought for sure within the hour you'd be a virgin no more. Then I come back and she's asleep on the couch? You're both fully clothed? You didn't get friend zoned, did you?"
He shifted. Thrust his hands into the pockets of his coat. Pulled them out again. "Dean, I'm not sure I feel comfortable—"
"Well get over it, because someone's gotta help you out here. She's cute. She's funny. She's into you. Yeah, you killed her family, but no relationship's perfect. Did you make a move or what?"
"There was…kissing," he said with an uncomfortable scowl.
Dean grinned. "Yeah there was. Cas, you dog!"
He cleared his throat. "My feelings for her are…new. Is love…like his?"
"You're askin' the wrong guy, my friend." He paused. "Just be careful, Cas. It's one thing to hook up with a chick, have some fun…but when feelings get involved? That's when things get dangerous. Our lives aren't easy, and you're not exactly normal."
"Are you worried about her or me?" he said.
"Both." He looked away. Rubbed the back of his neck and offered a sheepish smile. "You're like a brother to me, and she's been through enough."
He watched her sleep as he thought it over. "So maybe it's time," he said.
"For something good, you mean?"
He nodded, brow furrowed.
"Yeah, maybe. But guys like you and me, Cas?" Dean shook his head. "Those times usually don't happen for us."
Garth's houseboat was on a lake in Nevada, and they'd made good time with Dean driving straight through. She'd asked why they couldn't just "zap" there, but Dean had just told her to eat a lot of fiber and ask again next week. She'd decided not to pursue the issue any further.
About halfway there she'd leaned over the backseat, poked Dean on the shoulder, and asked if she could drive. The look on his face was priceless, and she'd really only asked to see his reaction. She sat back and giggled off and on for the next twenty miles. Sam snickered with her but tried to hide it. Cas didn't entirely get it, but he enjoyed the sound of her laughter so much he didn't care.
Dean, for his part, wasn't amused.
Garth and the Trans were waiting for them when they arrived the next evening. They tumbled out of the Impala, all of them stiff except for Cas, and stood on the lakeshore stretching out the kinks.
"Nice boat," Sam said. He raised his hand in an awkward wave in answer to Garth's enthusiastic greeting.
"Ahoy there!" he called from the pier. "Welcome aboard!"
"We're not aboard yet, Garth," Dean called back.
"Well what're you waiting for? We're not gettin' any younger!"
"Are y'all sure about this kid?" Layla said.
"Garth's…different, but he's one of us," Dean said. "He's all right."
"Then let's not keep the man waiting," she said.
Sam was the first one on the pier, and Garth seized him in a huge hug. Dean tried to dodge him, but Garth was ready.
"Did I mention he's a hugger?" Dean said through gritted teeth.
"Aw, Dean, you know you love it! Now you gonna introduce your friends?"
"Garth, Cas and Layla. Cas and Layla, Garth."
"Cas!" Garth wrapped his arms around the angel and squeezed. "Nice to finally meet you, a real angel!"
Cas was far too nonplussed to say anything.
He turned to Layla next and let out a low whistle as he looked her up and down. "Girrrl, you got me on my knees!"
It surprised a genuine laugh out of her, and she was the only one of the four to return his hug with enthusiasm. "Where did you find this guy?" she asked Sam and Dean.
"If you figure it out, let us know so we can send him back," Dean said.
"Such a kidder, Dean. Come on in, you guys. Kevin and Linda are inside. Don't like to have 'em out in the open, you know." Garth gestured for them to follow him down the pier and into the spacious boat docked at one of the last berths.
Kevin jumped to his feet as soon as they entered, and his mother hovered nearby, a watchful look on her face.
Layla couldn't hide her surprise. "You're just a kid," she said before she could stop herself.
Kevin scowled. "I'm young, but I'm not a kid. Do you have any idea what I've been through in the last year? You try being a prophet and see—"
"Whoa, hey! I'm sorry." She held up a hand. "I just meant…it must suck being the chosen one when you should be in freshman English."
"Oh," he said and relaxed. "Tell me about it." He smiled. Shoved his hands in his pockets. "I think it'll be okay, though. With the key we can close the gates, and if we do that this'll all be over."
"I've got it," she said. She started to reach into her bag for it, but he stopped her.
"No, don't. You have to keep it."
"Me? Why me?"
"The tablet's pretty specific."
She blinked at him. "What are you talking about? Specific about what?"
"About you. You were born on a night the stars fell from the sky, right?"
"I…there was a meteor shower the night I was born, yeah." She glanced at Cas.
"I mentioned it to Sam and Dean. I didn't realize it was significant."
"You're name's Layla," Garth said, "like the Clapton tune."
"I think we've established that," she said.
"It says that, too," Kevin said. "Named for a song and born the night the stars fell from the sky. That's you, and you have the key. Just like it said you would."
Suddenly her legs wouldn't support her anymore, but Garth pushed a chair beneath her before she hit the deck. "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw," she said for the second time in two days.
"Oh, Heathers," Garth said. "I love that movie!"
So, I gotta warn you guys: some weird shit's about to go down. Just get ready.
