Cruel World
Because you're young, you're wild, you're free
You're dancin' circles around me
You're fuckin' crazy
Oh, oh, you're crazy for me…
Alexis sat in a far corner, hands folded in her lap, her face a blank study. Nearby, Rick paced to and fro, trying to soothe a wailing Judith. She was hungry, but he had nothing to give her, his hands as empty as her stomach. But still he strode back and forth, murmuring nonsense, cradling Judith's head against his shoulder. Alexis watched him against her will, studying the hard curve of his jaw, how it sat at odds with the uncharacteristic softness present in his weatherbeaten face.
After the storm had abated, Rick had sat up all night watching Alexis sleep, his gaze her bonds, trapping her as much as rope and chains. But all his intentions of questioning her over her own intentions had been replaced by the more pressing concerns of feeding his daughter. Daryl had gone out hunting, Maggie and Glenn embarking on a probably pointless supply run, leaving the others to occupy themselves, either keeping guard or catching up on lost sleep.
"There's a jar of applesauce in my backpack," Alexis said quietly, making Rick round on her.
"What did you say?" he spat, making Judith wail even louder.
"I said there's a jar of applesauce in my backpack," Alexis said calmly, the picture of composure, whilst chaos reigned inside. "I told you before, remember?"
Rick just stared at her, his blue eyes blazing, lips thinning. "Get it," he then said, drawing his Colt Python, balancing Judith on his hip.
Without a word, Alexis staggered to her feet, going over to where her backpack had been dumped unceremoniously under a tack-table. As she knelt down, Rick came up behind her, gun raised in her direction. "Here," Alexis said abruptly, all but slamming the jar down, beginning to lose her cool.
"Open it," he ordered.
Alexis unwillingly obeyed.
"Now eat it."
"It's not for me," Alexis snapped. "It's for the baby."
"Which is precisely why I want you to eat some," Rick snarled, "in front of me, right now."
"I'm not trying to poison your kid" -
- "Eat the goddamn applesauce!"
"I'm not going to be your goddamn guinea pig!" Alexis shouted, her voice ringing through the rafters.
"You wanna die?" Rick said, his finger curling round the trigger. "Cos if that's the way you want this to go down, I'm more than willin' to play."
"Do you want your daughter to die?" Alexis said, her voice shaking. "Because if she doesn't eat, that's what is going to happen."
"So eat the applesauce then," Rick said from between gritted teeth.
"I - I hate applesauce," Alexis winced, the words being wrenched from her lips, "even looking at it is enough to make me throw up."
"Barf or die," Rick said simply. "Your choice."
"I hate you, you know that?" Alexis said, the tears welling up in her eyes. "I fucking hate you!"
Rick just shrugged his shoulders, eyes empty, his finger still curled around the trigger.
Hands shaking, Alexis unscrewed the jar lid, Carl appearing out of nowhere, and handing her a battered looking silver spoon. As their eyes met, she saw pity for her, a pity that only served to anger her. Ramming the spoon into the sauce, she scooped out a large gooey chunk, before shoving it into her mouth, fighting the urge to throw up. Forcing herself to swallow it, she tossed the spoon down onto the table, half turning away from Rick as he stowed away his gun, her hand involuntarily flying to her throat.
"You're insane, you know that?" Rick snapped, snatching up the spoon and wiping it clean on Alexis's shirt.
"I'm not a dish-towel!" she choked, shoving his arm aside.
"Your shirt's cleaner than mine," Rick spat, hastily sinking the spoon into the apple sauce. As he fed Judith, finally silencing her, Abraham approached Alexis, his ruddy face alight with reluctant amusement. Alexis slumped against the tack-table, face contorted with disgust, feeling like she was going to throw up any second now.
"Here," Abraham said, offering his flask to her. "Rinse your mouth out."
Alexis all but snatched it from him, half turning away as she necked back the bitter liquor, swirling it around her mouth. As she went to spit it out in a discreet corner, her gaze crashed into Carol's cold one, Alexis hastily turning her back on her.
"Better now?" Abraham asked as Alexis then came back over.
She nodded, handing the flask to him, shrinking away from his appreciative stare.
"You look at her ass one more time, I'll kick your ass to kingdom come," Rick said from behind them, making Abraham's head snap up. "Do you hear me?"
"You threatenin' me, Grimes?" Abraham said, rounding on Rick.
"If you like," Rick said, handing Judith and the jar over to Carl. "Whatever turns you on, big guy."
"Whatever," Abraham scoffed, stalking back to his own corner.
Rick watched him go, his jaw tightening. He glanced at Alexis, before bestowing a barely imperceptible nod upon her, only for the barn doors to suddenly creak open, the sunlight streaming in, striking Alexis's tangled golden hair like an anvil, framing her with light. Rick stared at her, uncharacteristically caught offguard, her strange radiance reminding him of a halo, making her eyes burn like blue fire.
As Alexis stared back at him, her hands clenching by her sides, Aaron stumbled through the doors, hands raised above his head, Maggie and Glenn at his heels, their guns aimed at the back of his head. "Aaron?" Alexis said stupidly, making Rick do a double-take.
"Hey kid," Aaron said weakly, "long time no see."
"What the hell happened to you?" she demanded, noting his torn clothes and cut hands.
"You don't want to know," Aaron said, looking as if he had been through hell and back.
"Try me," Alexis said, jaw tightening.
"How about the part I spent the night hiding under a boat tarpaulin?" Aaron snapped. "Or when I got stuck up a tree trying to escape like three hundred roamers?"
"It was more like thirty," Michonne said, stepping through the barn doors, followed by Rosita and Sasha.
"Eugene and Tara are still keeping guard," Rosita quickly said to Rick, interpreting his almost panicked glance.
"I'll pitch in," Abraham said, beating a quick exit.
"Where did you find this bozo?" Rick then asked, advancing on Aaron.
"Up a tree, screaming like a girl," Glenn answered, Maggie setting down a gun and machete on the tack-table.
"Did I not mention that part about the tree?" Aaron said, pretending to think. "Yeah, I think I did actually," he said, glaring at Rick. "And I was so not screaming like a girl," he glared at Glenn.
"You get all his weapons then?" Rick said, glancing at the tack-table, ignoring Aaron.
"He gave us them," Maggie said abruptly.
"That figures," Rick said, then glancing at Alexis. "Fuckin' insane, just like I said."
"Did she not go through the drill with you?" Aaron said, glancing at Alexis as well. "About how we have good news, yadi-yadi-yada?"
"What are you, a door to door Bible salesman?" Rick drawled, circling Aaron.
"No, just a friend," Aaron said quietly, glancing round at everyone this time.
"He has a settlement nearby," Sasha said, "and he wants us to audition for membership." She almost spat the word 'audition', making Aaron flinch.
"I wish there was another way to put it," Aaron said hastily, "auditioning makes us sound like we're some kind of a dance troupe."
"That's only on Friday nights," Alexis said before she could stop herself.
Despite everything, Aaron's lips twitched.
"You find this funny huh?" Rick hissed, rounding on Aaron.
"No - of course not" -
"Laugh at this," Rick snarled, before suddenly punching Aaron in the face, silencing him.
