This was a lot quicker than I was expecting O.o I really hope you guys like this. And that you don't kill me when you realize what I did…if you realize what I did…:P Anyway, hope you guys like this chapter!

*Disclaimer-I own my truck, Billy*

This chapter is not betaed

It Started With a Song

Chapter 7- Running in Circles

Ryuichi blinked into the beam of light shining between the curtains. He moved closer to Tatsuha and looked up to find the boy smiling at him.

"Good morning, beautiful. Sleep well?" Ryuichi grinned shyly. Last night had been more than his words could describe. It was mornings like this one that made Ryuichi the happiest man on Earth. Waking up with memories of an amazing night, and then looking up into such beautiful eyes…he was the luckiest man in the world. He was also the most uncomfortable man in the world, considering the fact that he and Tatsuha had fallen asleep before cleaning up their mess.

Seeing Ryuichi's discomfort, the raven smirked. "Would you like to go take a shower?" Ryuichi jumped up and ran for the bathroom. He didn't need to be asked twice. He hated feeling sticky.

Tatsuha chuckled and started rolling up the dirty sheets. The mess was technically his fault, so he might as well be nice and clean it up. After he was done, he made his way to the bathroom to join Ryuichi.

"Are you absolutely suuure you have to leave, Tat-kun? I haven't seen you in a long time. We were only together for a couple of nights." The brunette pouted to add to his pleading.

Tatsuha smiled sadly. He hated having to be away from Ryuichi. But someone had to take his father's place at the temple. And for the time being, it would have to be him. They made it work as best as they could. But phone conversations weren't the same as really being together.

"I'm sorry, Ryu. I've got to get back to the temple. I wish I could stay with you, though. I promise, I'll come back sooner this time, okay?" He pulled Ryuichi in for a quick kiss before making his exit. He hated saying goodbye, because it got harder every time he left.

Ryuichi watched from the window as his boyfriend mounted his motorcycle and drove away. He walked towards the kitchen to clean up the mess they had made during breakfast. Laying across the back of one of the chairs was Tatsuha's leather jacket.

Tatsuha had a couple drawers full of clothes at Ryuichi's apartment in case he ever decided to stay there last minute. But he didn't ever leave his jacket. It was his favorite piece of clothing.

A single tear slid down Ryuichi's cheek, but it was soon followed by more. It just wasn't fair. The singer grabbed the jacket and buried his face in it as he started to cry. It smelled just like Tatsuha. He already missed the boy, and they hadn't been separated for more than five minutes. Ryuichi hated it. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved Tatsuha. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

He had only ever loved one other person: Tohma Seguchi. When the band started, Tohma and Noriko were the only people Ryuichi had in his life. They were the only people who knew about his horrible childhood. No mother to love him. A drunken father who loved to abuse him. All the bruises covering his body. He started drinking and doing drugs to numb the pain. Only Tohma and Noriko had seen that side of him. Other people had seen the dark side of him. It always came out when he was singing. But no one besides his band members knew the reason behind it. Most people just thought he was crazy. They didn't realize that he had a split personality. He often hid behind a childish façade (though he also enjoyed acting that way for no reason). Then there was his darker side when he was angry, or when he was singing. But last was him. Just Ryuichi, a normal guy. Tatsuha knew and loved each one equally.

Tatsuha…he was the one person Ryuichi was scared to tell about his past. Shuichi most likely would be shocked, but wouldn't really care. He would stay Ryuichi's friend. But Tatsuha could leave him. Sure, Tatsuha had seen his dark side more than anyone else had. But the raven didn't know why Ryuichi acted that way. He just loved the singer for who he was without the reasons behind it.

Ryuichi moved the jacket away from his face to take a deep, calming breath. Thinking about the past wouldn't do him any good. It would only make him feel guilty. He and Tatsuha had been together for what felt like an eternity. And still, Tatsuha knew nothing about the brunette's past. Maybe it was time for Ryuichi to face his fears. Tatsuha could break up with him, but that didn't mean he would.

Even knowing what he needed to do, Ryuichi was scared. He could lose the man that he loved. Tatsuha was the only reason that Ryuichi was able to be so happy. He hadn't forgotten his past, but it no longer hurt him the way that it used to. And it was all thanks to Tatsuha.

Music would help Ryuichi calm his better than anything else could. Knowing this, he sat at the table with a notebook. Maybe he could turn his tangled thoughts into a song so that they'd be better organized. And so, Ryuichi began writing.

What if I hurt you? What if you think it's all a sick joke, then hurt worse when you realize it isn't? What if I take your breath, but in a bad way? What if it makes you say goodbye to me? What if you don't trust me anymore? What if you wonder what else I've been hiding? What if we lose everything we have? What if you start to wonder why you ever loved me in the first place? If you do end it, will you remember me? Will you give me another chance? It'll all be my fault if you leave. And I'll always love you.

With his thoughts organized, he began to turn them into lyrics. Singing a line or tow, writing them down. Deciding he likes this bit here instead of there. Changing the key until he liked it. It was a long process, but always worth it if the song turned out good. (And his always did because he's a musical genius) He just hoped this song would give him the courage to finally tell Tatsuha about his past.

~ISWAS~

"So, Eiri, you thought you could escape me? I'm not that easily defeated, you silly little boy." Yuki's eyes widened and a chill ran down his spine. He would recognize that voice anywhere; it was the voice of Yuki Kitazawa. The man who had given Yuki to a couple of thugs to have their fun with, just so he could earn a little cash. And Yuki, who was only a boy at the time, had killed them all.

So why could he hear Kitazawa's voice? The man was dead and buried in New York. Yuki's heart was racing as he looked around his living room for the source of the voice. He heard a soft chuckle as he moved around in circles.

"You won't be able to find me, Eiri. I've hidden myself too well. But I left you a little present in your bedroom. Why don't you go see it?"

Yuki was running towards his room before the voice had finished speaking. There was only one thing in his room that would be important enough for Kitazawa to mess with. It wasn't supposed to be in there, because Yuki had broken his heart. Shuichi. For some reason, the boy was in Yuki's room. The singer was sprawled on the bed. The sheets beneath him were drenched in blood that was seeping from a wound in his stomach. Yuki ran to the boy's side to check for a pulse: it was feeble, but there.

Shuichi's eyes fluttered. A small amount of blood was trickling slowly from the corner of his mouth, which Yuki wiped away. He couldn't speak because he was in shock. Kitazawa had somehow come back from the grave and injured the man that Yuki loved. The blonde put a hand on Shuichi's wound to try to stop the flow of blood.

"Yuki…this is…all your fault. Why…didn't you…save me?" Shuichi spoke slowly in a pained voice. It was obvious that the boy was near death. But Yuki couldn't answer him. He couldn't say a word. All he could do was stare at the purple eyes that were losing their light. Shuichi took a gasping breath…and then stopped breathing altogether. The boy's eyes were empty, staring into space. Yuki pulled his hands away from Shuichi's still form. Both of his hands were drenched in the boy's blood. Yuki screamed.

He awoke in a cold sweat. The author hadn't had a nightmare about Kitazawa since he had started sharing his bed with Shuichi. Shuichi had stopped the nightmares. Now the pinkette was gone, and the nightmares were back. But it was so much worse this time around. Now, Shuichi was in the nightmare as well. Yuki breathed shakily as he tried to calm his racing heart. He could only hope that this nightmare would be the only one he would have.

~ISWAS~

Tatsuha was about an hour outside of Tokyo before he realized he'd forgotten his leather jacket. He knew it would be a waste of both his gas and his time if he were to turn around to retrieve it, but it was so tempting. It was an for him to see Ryuichi again: he was already missing the brunette more than he thought he would. So what if he got home really late? It wouldn't matter that much. So he pulled over into an empty parking lot to turn around and head back to his Ryuichi

Tatsuha parked a few building down from Ryuichi so he could surprise him. He pulled out his spare key and quietly opened the door. Ryuichi's voice was floating in from the living room. He was singing something that Tatsuha assumed was new because he'd never heard it.

"What if it makes you sad at me

And what if it makes you laugh now but you cry as you fall asleep

And what if it takes your breath and you can't hardly breath

And what if it makes the last sound be the very best sound

What if what I want makes you sad at me

And is it all my fault or can I fix it please, oh

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

Cause you know that I'm always all for you"

The raven closed the door quietly so he wouldn't interrupt the singing. He loved Ryuichi's voice. It was the most beautiful sound in the entire world. He wasn't sure what the singer was singing about though. He knew Ryuichi usually wrote when he was feeling a strong emotion or when he had something on his mind. So what was Ryuichi singing about? Tatsuha stared at the back of the brunette's head as he continued.

"What if it makes you lose faith in me

What if it makes you question every moment you cannot see

And what if it makes you crash and you can't find the key

What if it makes you ask how you could let it all go

What if what I want makes you sad at me

And is it all my fault or can I fix it please, oh

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

Cause you know that I'm always all for you"

Was Ryuichi hiding something from him? Was he upset about something that he didn't want to talk about? The singer sounded sad, and it wasn't just the lyrics. It almost sounded like he was holding back tears.

"And if this be our last conversation

If this be the last time that we speak for awhile

Don't lose hope and don't let go

Cause you should know

If it makes you sad

If it makes you sad at me

Then it's it all my fault and let me fix it please, oh

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

What if what I want makes you sad at me

And if it's all my fault then let me fix it please, oh

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

I'm all for you"

When Ryuichi finished singing, he made some final notes before pushing the notebook away. He was still nervous, but he knew that next time he saw Tatsuha, he'd have to talk to him. The brunette stood and turned toward the kitchen, but froze: Tatsuha was leaning against the door, watching him silently. How long he'd been there, Ryuichi didn't know. All he knew was that he wasn't ready to talk yet. He had figured it would be at least a week before he saw the boy again. Yet here he was, staring right at Ryuichi, obviously waiting for him to say something. But the words just wouldn't come. After an awkward staring contest that lasted around two minutes, but felt like hours, Tatsuha spoke.

"So? What was that all about? And don't give me some bull shit about it just being a song. I could hear the emotion behind it. So what's going on, Ryu?" He didn't sound mad, which relieved Ryuichi. Tatsuha just sounded concerned.

Ryuichi, however, was still scared. He swallowed thickly and looked down at the ground. This wasn't how he had planned to tell Tatsuha, but it was now or never. Taking a shaky breath, he met Tatsuha's dark eyes before he began speaking.

"There's something I've been hiding from you, Tatsuha. I haven't told you anything about my past. But I should've. I was just scared that it would make you leave. I'm still scared that you'll leave. But no matter what you decide, you deserve to know. And I'll always love you. So…here goes."

It took Ryuichi almost an hour to tell Tatsuha everything. His abusive father, the drugs, the sex with random men. The drinking, the tantrums. He now acted childish at times because he hadn't had a normal childhood. His darker side came out when he was singing because that had always been the best way to escape his pain. Then he told Tatsuha everything about Tohma. The relationship they'd had. The fact that the only person Ryuichi had ever loved more than the blonde was Tatsuha. And how broken Ryuichi had been when Tohma left him. He'd been broken for years. Until he found Tatsuha.

"You fixed me, Tat. You make all the bad stuff that happened seem not so bad. You accepted my craziness without knowing the reasons behind it. You love me exactly the way I am, and you've never tried to change me. Not even Tohma loved me that much. I love you so much, Tatsuha Uesugi. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But if you leave, I'll understand. I kept my life hidden from you, all for selfish reasons."

Ryuichi stood completely still, holding his breath. Tatsuha wouldn't leave him. He couldn't. Because if he did, Ryuichi wouldn't be able to survive. The singer breathed a sigh of relief as Tatsuha walked slowly towards him…but then the boy went past him. Ryuichi watched as Tatsuha grabbed his jacket from the kitchen chair, and then walked right out the front door without a word.

Falling to his knees, Ryuichi could do nothing but stare at the door. Tatsuha had left him. And he didn't even bother to say good bye. He would've preferred the raven yelling at him, rather than saying nothing at all. Ryuichi's tears came quickly, and he did nothing to stop them. The love of his life had just walked out the door without bothering to spare him even a glance.

Ryuichi laid down on his side and hugged his knees as he continued to cry. It was becoming hard to breathe. There was nothing else he could do but lay there. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Shuichi's number. He needed someone to help him. The phone rang for what felt like forever before going to voicemail. Ryuichi called the boy four times before giving up and sending him a text.

He tried Noriko next, but her phone was turned off. So finally, he called the only other person who he thought would answer their phone; Tohma.

~ISWAS~

His phone was ringing. Why was someone calling him while he was in the middle of an important meeting? Slightly irritated, he asked to be excused from the conversation. He walked out of the room and answered the call without looking to see who it was.

"Hello?" The only response Tohma received was someone crying. And it was a voice that he recognized very well, even when it wasn't speaking.

"Ryuichi? What's wrong?" The singer didn't respond. He just continued to cry. It was the worst noise Tohma had ever heard. He and Ryuichi really weren't close anymore. They were band mates, and that was it. But they had been close when they were younger. Tohma had heard the boy cry many times, but never like this. Ryuichi sounded so broken. And Tohma could think of only one thing that would hurt the singer this badly.

"Ryuichi, did something happen between you and Tatsuha-san?" Finally, Ryuichi spoke. It was a single word, so small that it almost wasn't there. He said 'yes'.

The blonde sighed as he looked at the door leading to the room where he'd been in a meeting. Work would just have to wait for now. Ryuichi was much more important, even if they really weren't friends anymore.

"I'm going to come over, okay? Just stay there and don't do anything stupid." Tohma hung up without waiting for an answer. After explaining why he had to leave the meeting, he left to go to Ryuichi.

~ISWAS~

Ryuichi stayed on the floor until Tohma arrived. He could do nothing but lay there. He sang quietly to himself as he cried, trying to keep his mind occupied until his band mate applied.

"If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world"

Suddenly, there were arms around him, picking him up and moving him towards the couch. Tohma didn't say a word. He sat down, pulling Ryuichi beside him. The keyboardist held the singer for around an hour before the man cried himself to sleep. Tohma found Kumagoro and put it under Ryuichi's arm. Then the blonde left quietly, locking the door on his way out. He didn't leave a note or anything behind. He didn't leave a note or anything behind. He didn't need to. He had helped, and that was all that mattered.

~ISWAS~

Tatsuha gunned the gas as he sped down the highway. It was almost six, and he had meant to be back by five. But it took a while to find what he needed. Now he was pulling into a parking spot, and hoping he wasn't too late.

He unlocked the door and threw it open. What he saw in front of him broke his heart. Ryuichi was crying into the back of Kuma's head. The man was singing through his tears, and it killed Tatsuha to hear the words he was singing. The raven should have gotten there faster.

"How do I live without you? I want to know

How do I breathe without you if you ever go?

How will I ever, ever survive?

How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?"

Ryuichi stopped singing, no longer able to control his voice. He had woken up alone. Tohma wasn't really a friend anymore. So the man had left as quickly as possible. Because of that, Ryuichi had woken up alone, and had begun crying again.

The sound of footsteps coming towards him made Ryuichi's stop momentarily. He moved Kuma away from his face and looked up through his bangs, which were stuck to his face because of his tears, and was shocked at what he saw. Tatsuha was kneeling in front of him, holding a bouquet of flowers. But they weren't just any flowers; they were a type of flower that was rare in Japan. It would have taken Tatsuha at least an hour to find them. They were white with spots of yellow and purple on the petals. They were beautiful.

Tatsuha brushed the sticky bangs from his boyfriend's face. He also leaned forward to wipe away the man's tears as some started to fall down his own face. He began speaking with a shaky voice, looking straight into Ryuichi's blue eyes.

"Ryuichi Sakuma, I would never leave you. So what if you dated Seguchi? So what if you were abused? I don't care. It's just a part of who you are. And I don't want you to ever doubt that, okay? I love you so much, Ryu. You mean everything to me."

Ryuichi didn't say anything. He leaned forward and captured Tatsuha's lips softly. While the boy had been talking, more tears were mixing into their kiss. The brunette now realized that Tatsuha would move heaven and Earth to be with him. Tohma wouldn't have done that. He was protective, but he was too logical, even about love.

The two curled up on the couch. They laid there late into the night, but neither said a word. They enjoyed the fact that they were together. No one could take that from them. Not even themselves.

When Ryuichi's eyes started to droop, Tatsuha picked him up and took him to bed. He started to walk away, but a sleepy brunette stopped him by holding his wrist. "Tat…please stay. Just one move night." Tatsuha smiled.

"I was just gonna go lock the front door, babe. I'll be right back." Ryuichi smiled sleepily. Once Tatsuha had come back and laid down, Ryuichi asked him for a favor before closing his eyes. Tatsuha smirked and complied, singing softly until Ryuichi fell asleep.

"Try to tell you no

But my body keeps on tellin you yes

Try to tell you stop

But your voice has got me so out of breath

I be waking up

In the morning needing to get home

And I be waking up

Really happy but in so much trouble

So I cross my heart and I hope to die

That I'll only stay with you one more night

And I know I've said it a million times

But I'll only stay with you one more night"

Tatsuha looked over to find Ryuichi fast asleep. He placed a kiss on the brunette's forehead before he also fell asleep. Ryuichi's past had been terrible. But hopefully, if Tatsuha had anything to do with it, his future would be filled with nothing but love.

Well, what did you guys think? Did you figure out that I completely ignored our poor Shuichi? Yay for cliffhangers! :D Don't shoot meeee! Please review guys! Chapter 8 will probably take a little bit longer, but I'll get it done as soon as I possibly can. This will all be a lot easier when I actually have my own computer and don't have to borrow my friend's laptop O.o

The songs were:

"What If" by SafetySuit

"Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol

"How Do I Live" by Leanne Rhymes

"One More Night" by Maroon 5

Original lyrics to "One More Night"

"Try to tell you no

But my body keeps on tellin you yes

Try to tell you stop

But your lipstick got me so out of breath

I be waking up

In the morning probably hating myself

And I be waking up

Feelin satisfied but guilty as hell

So I cross my heart and I hope to die

That I'll only stay with you one more night

And I know I've said it a million times

But I'll only stay with you one more night"

~SingingSparklyKuma~