Never Let Me Go

Roads in front of me
Taking me astray
Are you leaving me?
Or are you leading the way?
Can you hear what I'm saying?

Need to Know - Kris Allen


I don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling right now. My parents are back and all I feel is suspicion – I just don't trust them. It's surprising enough that both of them are back together. But somehow I don't want to find out and I don't want the answers because I feel like I'll get hurt. In the end I'm always the one hurting and I'm tired of that. I don't want to see them, me being grounded by my absentee parent's is pathetic enough.


"Where have you been Luka?" I closed the door behind me secretly pinching myself.

"When did you get back?" My mother glared at me and my father sighed,

"You were with a boy weren't you? I didn't think I raised a whore."

"Shizuka," my father warned, "Luka we thought you were more responsible than this?" I sat down while I prepared for a lecture.

"Are you failing your classes?" Irritation boiled in my stomach,

"Stop, please just stop." I rubbed my forehead feeling the nausea coming again.

"We have the right to know Luka."

"You both barely come back after all this time and I'm being judged and lectured."

"Luka—

"To answer your question mother is yes, I'm still a virgin, and father I ranked first in the exams." I stood up and grabbed water from the fridge.

"I'm still the perfect little daughter." I muttered.


I sat up when I heard the front door close, I opened my door finally thinking maybe they left but to my usual bad luck Dad was still here. I sighed as I sat on the couches across from where he sat.

"Where did mother go?" He folded the paper and looked up.

"She went to get take out."

"Figures," I wasn't really surprised by that, they both probably don't even know how to make a basic meal anymore. "So what's the occasion?"

"There doesn't need to be an occasion to be in our own home Luka."

"Yes there is, I haven't seen you since April of last year. I haven't seen Mother in three years. So what's going on?" My Father tried to stare me down like he did when I was little but I wasn't backing down.

"You've changed."

"You're changing the subject Father."

"Not just your looks…your personality." I tried very hard not to roll my eyes,

"Can we stop pretending like we're close?"

Ding

I sighed and answered the door. Meiko stood outside the door smiling but I before she spoke I hurriedly put a figure to my lips and mouthed 'balcony' she nodded and I silently closed the door.

"Who was that Luka?" I shrugged my shoulders,

"Someone must have played a prank." I walked towards my bedroom, "Goodnight." My father nodded and I closed and locked the door behind me.


"Whoa, your Dad is back?" I sighed and walked to the balcony,

"Close, both of them are." Meiko raised an eyebrow,

"What's the occasion?"

"That's what I'd like to know." She crossed to her end of the balcony but I couldn't help but hesitate. Meiko smiled and motioned me to follow her,

"Don't be a sissy Luka; if it helps he's not here." I smiled as I jumped to her end and entered Kaito's room.

"I feel like I'm breaking and entering."

"It'd be more fun if it weren't my little brother's room." I giggled as we crossed the hall to Meiko's. She pulled me into a hug,

"I've missed you Luka; but looks like I came at the right time." I smiled and rolled my eyes,

"I'm supposed to be grounded." Meiko nudged me,

"Even better, adds to the thrill of the night." I raised an eyebrow,

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, how would you like to get a taste of College?" I looked down, "No, no, and no. Don't give me that look Luka Megurine." I sighed and sat on Meiko's bed.

"Come on, you know I'm not a party type."

"Sometimes we need to experience the unknowns you can't always play it safe Luka." I ran a hand through my hair, "Rebel a little, it'll just make it more fun because you're supposed to be in bed sleeping but hey, here you are already sneaking out." I laughed and caved; it was simply too hard not to listen to her.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, now let's go get some pretty clothes on you." I looked down at my pajamas and blushed.

"My, my no wonder my little brother has been drooling all over you. Look at that bod!" My blush deepened.

"Meiko stop teasing me." She laughed and began rummaging through her closet of endless amount of clothes. Tonight I promised myself I wouldn't worry, I wouldn't think about all the negatives because tonight I was free. Meiko was right, I was always the responsible little Luka and I was tired of that. I just wanted to live for myself, not to anybody's expectations.

I was done with that and I wasn't turning back.


"Hold on, I forgot something in my room, I'll be right down." She nodded and the light click of her high heel boots were heard going towards the elevator. I walked back and was stopped,

"What are you doing?" I glared at my little brother and he looked pissed. What is it now?

"This is a bad idea." I peeled Kaito's grip off my wrist and grabbed my purse.

"It isn't good to spy on girls little brother."

"Meiko, guys are going to be there and hit on her. Are you going to protect her?" I narrowed my eyes.

"Is that a question?" I crossed my arms, "Because the obvious answer is no shit." I rolled my eyes and sighed, "If you're jealous you need to get over it for the night. Luka needs to have some fun not drama Kaito." He looked the other way not having anything to say and I took that as my queue to leave. "Have fun sulking!"


This was much different than my imagination. I thought there would be ten, twenty people tops but this place is filled to the max with literally a hundred people; maybe even more. I grew nervous and grabbed Meiko's arm so I wouldn't get lost in the sea of people. She smiled and held my hand,

"Don't worry I'm not going to lose you." I smiled and nodded feeling reassured. The music was thumping so loudly I felt the vibrations. It was really thrilling and exciting.

Meiko smiled and pulled out her sake bottle out of her purse with two cups.

"You came prepared." She winked at me as she poured me my drink.

"Hey Meiko, mind sharing a little?" Two guys walked in our direction and smirked.

"You'll have to get your own Ichirou," Ichirou stuck his tongue out,

"Stingy as always~" He said teasingly and the other guy smiled in my direction, I smiled lightly and then he said hello. I was quite shy is situations like these; I've always been socially awkward so I just blushed and said hello in return.

"I've never seen you around school? You close to Meiko?" Meiko suggested saying we were cousins to avoid confusion.

"Were family, I thought I'd tag along." I smiled lightly,

"My name is Kazuki,"

"Luka," We talked for a while and it was fun. For once in my life I didn't fumble my words or have an awkward silence; I was just being myself and it felt good. I smiled, laughed and had a good time and that didn't seem to happen often when I wasn't with the twins. At this moment I didn't worry about responsibility, I didn't think about my horrible parents or about him.

I finished the rest of my drink and Meiko who was already drunk was leaning against me,

"Such intolerance Luka-chan!" I smiled feeling Meiko's warmth when Ichirou suggested to take us home, but I declined. I didn't know him and I'd rather take the train.

But he kept bugging us?

"Look, Meiko's even stumbling; let me take you home at least."

"Thanks for the offer but I can take her home." Ichirou frowned,

"You're drunk yourself." I rolled my eyes not really caring anymore,

"You're going a little too far with your offer now Ichirou-san."

"But—

"Your offer won't be needed anymore Ichigo." Kaito walked up and glared at him, he practically towered over him and he scoffed,

"Do whatever you want bro." He walked off looking obviously pissed, Kaito didn't say a word as he held Meiko up.

I was silent; I couldn't think what to say. I was pissed at the fact that my night was officially ruined thanks to that ass Ichirou. It felt awkward while we sat on the train home, but I'd rather put Meiko first than my insecurity around Kaito.

I grabbed a glass of water while Kaito put her to bed. I quietly entered and set the glass on her nightstand.

I followed Kaito into his room; I really didn't want to see him right now.

"You're a good friend." I stopped, "Even though my sister can be a handful." I turned around sighing,

"That's not what you really what to say," I folded my arms and he looked down,

"No, it isn't." I shook my head heading for the door but he grabbed my wrist,

"Luka—

"What are you going to do, kiss me again?" I said accusingly, I just didn't have it in me tonight. I didn't want to deal with this.

"I'm not."

"Then what!" I threw my arms in the air completely frustrated.

"Look just listen to me, you don't even have to believe me, just listen." I stood still as Kaito intertwined his long slender fingers that fit perfectly into my small hands. "I love you." I looked down and instead of butterflies, rainbows and fireworks; I just felt pissed. I pulled my hands from his,

"Your right, I don't believe you. But maybe Miku did."

He appeared confused and I glared, "You know you can't tell people you love them when the night before you were kissing another girl." His mouth hung open and I shook my head, "Love just doesn't work that way."


I felt like hell. I've been hauled in my room practically this whole weekend listening to my ipod. I didn't have the strength to deal with my parents. I avoided the world completely because all I wanted was peace.

I just couldn't handle this anymore, it hurt. I even broke down a couple times in the shower. I spent a majority of my time sleeping instead of being awake. I just didn't want to deal with life, I knew I was being a big baby but damn it, I just couldn't get a break.

I thought I was making progress, I thought I was finally doing well with my life. I was lost and I didn't know what to do.

I had school tomorrow…I cursed that wretched place and groaned at the thought. I wish I had a mom who would give advice…I wish I had a dad to protect me. When I thought about these things I always felt like an orphan. It was like I didn't even have parents to begin with. And it was sad, but what should I be sad about when they weren't really there for me to begin with?

Should I give them a chance? Should I reach out? Maybe I'll think about it in the morning…just not now…

I dreaded the morning sun to come.


Some of you are probably thinking 'Is this really a Kaito x Luka fic? Where's all the love!' I know, I know, guys. Kaito keeps fucking up and that's sort of what guys do. (Especially the ones new to love) But hopefully things turn around in the next chapter!

Leave me a little review to let me know what you think! (It brings a smile to my face)

Love you guys!

Ghostly