Note: Every January, my Grandma says, "No hay luna como la de enero, ni amor como el primero. I will not say in English. English makes the mouth go 'gah' like the German." Or something close to that.

Inuyasha has only ever loved one woman, but she's been gone for ten years. Now a famous rock star, he goes to take back a gift he gave her only to have his entire world changed.

VII: There Is No Love Like the First Love

"Inuyasha! How am I supposed to tutor you if you don't even show up to school!?"

He rolled his eyes. "Nice to see you, too, Ka-Go-Me."

"I'm serious!" She sat down on the park bench next to him and he tried not to look at how much thigh she revealed with that action. "You're going to get into a lot of trouble someday if you keep it up."

"So, what did I miss?"

She shrugged. "Nothing much."

Inuyasha chucked, laughing harder when her expression turned offended. "Why are you so mad that I skipped, then?"

"Because you're smart." She leaned in close and if he tried he could have counted her long, thick black eyelashes. Sparkling gray eyes glinted in the sunlight and he was once again completely paralyzed, dazzled. She always liked to get too close. It made him nervous. "You're smarter than me. You're smarter than everyone. But you don't care and you don't try and that's why you're failing everything."

He forced himself to turn away from her. "Keh. It doesn't matter. I'm gonna be a rock star, anyway. I won't need any of this shit."

Kagome snorted. "A rock star who can't play an instrument or write music and refuses to show his songs to anyone."

"Not this again," he groaned.

"Just let me see it! I won't tell anyone anything. Please? Pretty please? I'll be your slave for a whole hour! For a whole day, even!"

His stomach twisted at the thought of what he would do to her if she was his property for an hour. He brought the notebook he carried everywhere with him down on his lap so that it would cover his erection. Gods, but he hoped she didn't notice.

"No way." It was lame, but it was all he could think of.

Kagome crossed her arms and pouted. He tried not to look at her chest. Slowly, her expression melted and she was giving him a smile.

"I guess I'll have to wait until you're famous to find out."

His face colored. She started getting up.

"No tutoring today?" He tried to sound joyful.

"Nope." She popped the p and somehow that made him like her more. "It's my birthday tomorrow. I'm celebrating with my family today, and then tomorrow with my friends." She leaned over and got in his face again. Didn't she know what that did to him? "Tonight, though, I'm celebrating with Hojo. He told me to meet him here at exactly midnight." Her breath smelled like strawberries.

He blinked. "Oh." Her boyfriend. She was talking to him about her fucking boyfriend.

"See you tomorrow, Inuyasha!"

He waved at her but she was already turned around, running home.

They didn't see each other tomorrow.

Inuyasha actually went to school the next day. Full of anxiety, he wanted to see his tutor's face. To see if the innocence in her eyes had changed. Because what else was she going to do with her stupid fucking boyfriend at midnight on her eighteenth birthday? Just thinking about it made it so he hadn't been able to sleep. Looking around, he didn't see her even though she usually hung out by her locker and talked with her friends before class. Maybe she was sleeping in after a long, hard night. Without meaning to, he punched his locker hard enough to dent it.

"Hey, man. I guess you heard already."

Miroku was eyeing the damage he'd done to his locker, glancing at him warily like he was about to fucking lose his shit.

"Heard what?" His eyes darted around the halls. Where was she?

"About Kagome."

Did everyone know? Had Hojo been spreading shit? He was going to kill that fucker!

"What about Kagome?"

Miroku patted him on the shoulder. Confused, he was about to make a gay joke, but his next words hit him like a train.

"Kagome died last night, man."

His ears rang. His vision faltered. He was fucking with him. He had to be fucking with him. Grabbing him by the collar, he pushed him back against the lockers.

"Don't say shit like that!" he growled.

Scared now, the human boy pulled at his wrist. "It's the truth! They found her in the park last night on a bench. Some sick fuck strangled her. They arrested a homeless guy named Naraku."

Inuyasha let him go. Stumbling outside, he pushed past people. Sad people. Crying people. People talking about her. About Kagome and what had been done to her. Everyone loved her. It wasn't just him. She was the school idol. Smart, pretty, nice, popular. Someone said the funeral was going to be at the shrine today after school.

He hadn't done it since he met Kagome earlier that year, but he met up with his dealer and requested whatever was strong enough to make a half-demon forget he was alive. Whatever it was, it worked. For a little while. In that dream without sleep, he was with Kagome. Things they had actually done, like teasing each other over tutoring, combined with things they had not actually done. Like holding hands. Kissing. Telling each other how they really felt. Inuyasha had never done those things with anyone before, and his heart always tormented him by making him think of Kagome doing that with Hojo. Even though he was certain that she had a thing for him and would be with him if he just manned up and told her that he was in love with her.

After all, why else would a girl talk to someone like him?

When he was almost sobered up, he found himself on the shrine grounds. He had visited a few times for their tutoring sessions, but she mostly preferred to meet him in the library, even though they nearly always got kicked out for being too loud. It was nice at her house. They'd sit at the kitchen table and her mom would bring them snacks. It was nothing like the group home, which was pretty much the only home he could remember. His mother had left him too early to see him off to school and make him snacks, and he'd never known his father.

That was one of the things they'd connected over. Kagome lost her dad, too. It left the family struggling financially.

They had a lot in common, if he thought about it. Not dumb shit, like movies and music and food. But real shit. Shit that mattered.

He was a little early. Not many people were there yet. Feeling hollow, he wandered through the grounds, not seeing the looks people gave him.

Kagome's mother stood with her grandfather and brother greeting the mourners. Sōta smiled shakily when he saw him. The kid liked him. That was nice. They were a nice family. Mrs. Higurashi spotted him and ran over to where he was. He wondered why.

"Oh, you poor boy," she murmured, giving him a hug. "What happened to you?"

Answering that would have taken too long. "Where's Kagome?" he slurred.

Her grandfather limped over. "What's that? Her charity case? Doesn't he know there's no reason for him to come around here anymore?"

He didn't care what the old man said. "Where's Kagome?" he repeated, a little louder.

The two adults shared a look.

"He's covered in dirt and it looks like he hurt himself. Do you see the blood on his arms? It's healed, but I'm worried. I think he tried to kill himself."

The old man looked him over. "He's on drugs."

"I want to see her," he mumbled. "I brought something for Kagome."

Mrs. Higurashi was crying. "Sweetheart, Kagome isn't here anymore. She... She's gone to heaven."

"Oh." He remembered now. But still, it was urgent. She couldn't go away without it. "I want to give it to her. I brought it for her."

With an arm around his shoulder, Mrs. Higurashi led him to the open casket. Kagome was so beautiful. Her white dress made her look like a bride. Sooty lashes fanned over her cheekbones, which were unusually colorless. Inuyasha had to remind himself again that she was dead. He couldn't ask her why she looked so sad because she couldn't talk anymore.

"Can I give this to her?" he asked, showing her mother the notebook. "She always wanted it."

She stared at her daughter's face for a few moments, like she was being sucked in.

"Sure, sweetheart. Kagome would have loved that."

With shaking hands, he slipped the notebook under her crossed arms.

"She looks like an angel." He wanted to touch her, but since he wasn't allowed to in life, he didn't think he was allowed now.

She smiled. "Yes, an angel. She always was a little angel." Taking him by the arm, she walked him back. "I didn't want to cremate her. Jii-chan says that means her soul is trapped on earth, but I don't think so. Like you said, she's an angel. You can't burn an angel." She dissolved into tears and he stood there, staring at her dully. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. You know how I feel, don't you? If you ever need anything, please come to me. We can help each other, okay?"

Inuyasha nodded. "I'll see you." He wasn't going to stay and watch her surrounded by everyone else. When they were together, it had always just been the two of them. That was how he wanted it to stay. And watching her be put in the ground? Impossible. He would have thrown himself in with her.

As he left, he passed by some of her friends from school. Many were crying, a few openly sobbing, entirely inconsolable.

Her stupid boyfriend was crying, surrounded by her three best friends. "I was running late. I told her to meet me but I lost the ring. It took me ten minutes to find it. And when I found her… It didn't look like she was dead at first. At first, I thought she was s-sleeping."

Her friend with the curly hair hugged him. "Are you going to bury the engagement ring with her?"

He shook his head. "I can't. It was my grandmother's."

They continued talking. Inuyasha wanted to punch them, but he just kept walking. The only thing left in the world he valued was that notebook, and he gave it to Kagome. It was what was supposed to give him a future. But he wanted her to have it. She'd always wanted to see it. Maybe if he wasn't such a pussy, he would have shown it to her. Shown her how "To Kagome" was written on the inner cover. Showed her how every song was for her. The fact that he had given her everything he had and her fucking boyfriend wouldn't even give her the ring he had been about to present to her anyway just proved that they were supposed to be together.

How was he going to live now that his life was gone?

O\o/O

Cocaine mixed with heroine on a thick line between the girl's bare fake tits. What was her name again? Monica/Erica/Jessica. One of those. He snorted the line and felt nothing. It wasn't nearly enough to even make him feel it. But luckily he'd had maybe five of those earlier, some pills, and a bottle of vodka. Maybe if he had one more bottle then his head would stop pounding and he would be able to party like a normal fucking person again.

Tossing his wallet at one of the other girls, he said, "Bring us some shots and a couple bottles."

Gleefully, she scurried off to do as he asked. Inuyasha knew she'd help herself to whatever was left over after she brought the drinks. If she even brought the drinks. Fuck, he hoped she would. There weren't any cards in the wallet, just some cash. It was a longstanding rule that he leave his real wallet at home when he went out to party. That was where he kept what mattered, like his credit and bank cards. And the most precious thing, the only picture of him and Kagome.

They hadn't posed for it. It was just one of those school pictures with the senior class standing together. Since he had been short back then, they were next to each other. That was all. But they were together. he'd cut out the tiny part of the photo that held the two of them and always kept it with him. Inuyasha could still remember that first whiff of her scent, how her hair sparkled in the sun, how even though they didn't know each other she'd laughed and squeezed his hand and said something about how they were going to graduate before they knew it.

Neither of them graduated. Kagome because of what had been done to her and him because he never bothered to go back to school after she was gone.

It was pure luck that he'd landed a record deal. For the week after Kagome's funeral, he'd been in a perpetual high. He still couldn't remember anything from that time. But when he ran out of stolen money and therefore out of drugs, he realized that he had indeed been doing more than just passing out in alleyways. He'd been creating.

Some of the songs he'd written were completely unintelligible, some illegible. But the others were powerful. They were good. He could hear the music they required in his head, could feel how they were supposed to be sung. Like everything he wrote, they were all about Kagome, but these weren't love songs, these were mourning songs. The rest of the story was something everyone knew. He convinced Miroku to drop out, too, 'cause he was the only guy he knew who could play an instrument, even if it was something girly like a piano. He taught himself guitar in a few months and they used software for a drum track. They played shows everywhere that would take them. In less than a year, they were signed and touring the globe.

It happened so fast, and that was good. That way, he didn't have time to think about Kagome.

But now it was a decade later and the magic had stopped. Their new album was taking forever to finish and he was sure the label was going to drop them if he delayed another year. Sure, he already had a ton of money, but at the rate his drug habit was increasing, it wouldn't last him long.

Fuck, that bitch really had taken off with just the money, hadn't she? Now he had nothing to buy drinks with.

"Okay, buddy. Time to go home."

He shrugged the hand off his shoulder. "You go home!"

Miroku sighed. "Seriously, Inuyasha. We have to go. You're being kicked out."

Groaning, he allowed his bandmate to drag him outside. Now that he wasn't surrounded by the pounding music and confusing scents, his head felt a little better.

"You know Sango hates when I have to come pick you up, dude. You need to control yourself."

"You didn't have to come. Coulda told your wife to put those bodyguards she insisted we need to use." Sango was their manager and somehow had locked down the pervert of all perverts and made him into little more than a house husband.

"The club called me," he grumbled, buckling Inuyasha into the passenger seat of his own car. "I left a business card in your fake wallet letting people know where to return you."

"How'd they get my wallet and I still don't have my fucking drinks?"

"The cops arrested some girl for prostitution outside and they found it on her."

"I ain't ever fucking going back there again," he grumbled. Now he'd have to drink at home.

"I don't think they'd let you." Miroku sighed. "Inuyasha, I've partied with you and I can see now you're getting worse. You've always had your…habits…but this is a full-blown addiction. You need help."

Inuyasha snorted. There was no help for him. "What I need is a fucking drink."

"Maybe…" His friend seemed hesitant. "Maybe if you just talked to someone about Kagome—"

"Don't."

"All I'm saying is that it could help. We've tried rehab and that didn't work. Maybe try this."

He didn't say anything. How could he explain to someone who was perfectly happy what it felt like to always be hurting unless he was on something? And even then, the pain sometimes broke through. That would just start too real of a conversation, and he already knew what Miroku would say. Get over it. Like he could get over losing the only bright spot in his life. At first, when the fame was new, he thought that maybe somehow he could dull the pain with the success. He met girls, lots of girls, and seriously dated a few. But it only hurt more. The money, the parties, the fame were just more things he could never share with Kagome.

Miroku had continued talking the entire time. "Like I said, she wouldn't want to see you killing yourself like this. You know how much she cared about everyone. Kagome would want you to move on, get clean, and settle down. To have the kind of life she never had the chance to have."

The words were driving him crazy. Hearing someone else say the name his heart beat out thousands of times a day was driving him crazy. He needed out. He needed to get out.

"I know how much you loved her, man. You were crazy about her. Hell, we all were. Shit, do you remember that notebook you used to carry around with you everywhere?" He smiled, lost in memories. "And how red your face would get every time she tried to see what was in it? Everyone but Kagome knew you were writing about her."

That was enough. "Stop!" he yelled, hitting the window. It shattered, slicing his skin, but he didn't care. It didn't hurt as much as this did. Nothing hurt as much as remembering, except for maybe not remembering. "Don't fucking talk about her anymore!"

Miroku swerved onto the shoulder and braked suddenly. "For fuck's sake, Inuyasha, this car is brand new!" His eyes were hard. "Kagome is dead. She's gone. Forever. Accept it."

He got out and slammed the door. Miroku didn't try and stop him. Some friend he was. The car peeled away, leaving shards of broken glass in its wake. Cars honked at him but he ignored them all. It was going to be a long ride home and he was really fucked up.

Maybe Miroku was right. Things had been getting worse lately, especially since his creativity had run dry. It was like he had said all he could about his feelings for Kagome. Just a few minutes before, that thought would have seemed blasphemous. His love for her was limitless. But maybe it was hurting him. Holding on to someone who was no longer there had been taking a toll on him for a while. It was impossible to form new relationships as long as he clung to the idea of Kagome.

Inuyasha remembered the notebook his bandmate had mentioned. The idea of a piece of him being with her always was comforting. But some of those songs had been really good. Really fucking good. It was an entirely different kind of work than he'd produced after what had happened to Kagome. Back then, he had been so full of hope and love. Happy. Even if she wasn't his, he was hers, and that made him happy. If only he could recapture that feeling, he'd make millions.

There was a way.

He stopped walking just before he entered his neighborhood. Maybe it was the combination of drugs he'd done that night, but he had an idea. A sick idea, but it just might save his life.

All he had to do to get his career and his life back was take the notebook from Kagome.

Checking his phone, he saw it was just past midnight. If he hurried, he could make it to where she was buried by three in the morning. The witching hour. No car. He would go on foot. That way, he'd run into less trouble. Inuyasha was pretty sure he could still run like lightning, even if he wasn't some stealing punk kid any longer.

He hadn't seen his hometown since he'd left it all those years ago, but he knew the way by heart. After all, that was where Kagome was. Maybe his muscles were aching, maybe he was sweating like crazy, he wasn't sure he would be able to tell.

Inuyasha was going to see Kagome again, and that was all that mattered.

His heart was beating so fast, not from the long run, but from the idea of being with her. Ten years had gone by without meeting in places other than his dreams and fantasies. Inuyasha wasn't so fucked up that he didn't know what he was going to see. Bones in a moldy dress. But it was still her. And maybe this would do the trick. Maybe he'd finally get over Kagome and that would make Miroku shut up. There was no doubt in his mind that he was always going to love her, always going to carry her as the standard in his heart. The more he thought about it, the more appealing the idea of moving on was. That didn't mean he had to discard her entirely. Just like before, it would be the two of them in a secret place in his heart. But on the outside, he would finally be able to function as a normal man.

While he knew where she was buried, he had never once been there. It was too much. Even through the haze of the drugs, he was afraid to be there, to see where they had put her. It would be worse than dying himself.

The gate was easy enough to jump. There were a couple cameras, but he darted by them quickly enough that he knew no cheap security film would be able to capture any detail about him other than he was of demonic heritage.

It was dark and lonely in the cemetery. Her grave was in the newer part, which was unfortunately muddy from the recent rain. At last, he found her. She was the youngest in her section. Kagome Higurashi. Died on her eighteenth birthday, right at midnight. There was nothing written but her name and the dates. He guessed her family had been too deep in grief to think of anything else to put. She'd told him that her dad was buried here, but he was probably far away somewhere else. It wasn't like they could have afforded a family plot. That was for people who lived above the poverty line.

Inuyasha guessed he was lucky, because there were a few shovels in an unlocked nearby shed that had been designed to look like a mausoleum, but whatever moron had designed it included windows. Some other gardening equipment was there, and he tried not to make any noise and knock it all over though it had all been put away pretty haphazardly. It was like playing fucking Jenga. After obtaining the shovel without incident, he went back to Kagome. No flowers. No one had brought her any fucking flowers, probably for a while. He wished he had thought ahead and gotten her some.

He didn't need light to see, being a demon, but he wished for the first time in his life that he didn't have such good night vision. It just made it all more difficult. Part of him was horrified that he was desecrating the final resting place of the only one he'd ever loved in such a way. And for what? Some shitty songs he'd written when he was just a kid? He shoved the voice away. They weren't shitty songs. They were Kagome's songs. That meant they were good. He was just going to grab the notebook, try not to look at her too much, and bury her back up. That was it.

It didn't take very long, but then again, he was high and on a mission. Soon, the shovel was scraping against the cheap wooden casket he remembered from that terrible day. Carefully, not wanting to hurt her even though she could no longer be hurt, he jimmied open the side with the end of the shovel. It occurred to him to cover his nose, but he didn't want to. Even if it made him retch, even if it knocked him right out, he had to smell her one last time.

The Kagome inside was certainly not like he had remembered, or even how he had expected.

Fuck, she was more beautiful than the version of her inside his head, than in the picture he had. With shaking hands, he cupped her face. Her beautiful face.

How was she just as whole and fresh as she was when she was alive?

It was like she was only sleeping, but her chest did not rise. So young. She was so sweetly, achingly young. For a moment, he thought that the past ten years were some crazy drug-fueled dream and he was just a broken-hearted teenager gone mad, digging up the fresh grave of the girl he loved more than anything just to see her face again. The wound was torn open again inside him and he felt like he was going to cry. How had he thought the pain before was bad? This was agony. It was all new again, like she had only just been taken from him. No one was as good for him as she was. No one ever would be. He was a fucking idiot for thinking he could ever find someone else. In life, in death, Inuyasha belonged with Kagome.

Fumbling for his phone, he took it out of his pocket. Pictures. He needed pictures so he could remember later on. Things to prove that she was real, that this was real. Finally, he finally had a good picture of her, up close and everything. He only remembered his objective when the screen showed the notebook clutched to her chest in a death grip. It was as preserved as she was. Carefully, he removed it. There. That was it. He had what he came for. He could close the coffin and bury her back up and no one would know he'd been there.

Inuaysha set the book aside. She was so beautiful. What would it hurt if he kissed her? He never got the chance when she was alive. It was all he'd been dreaming about since he was seventeen years old, when he had first seen her. Didn't he deserve at least that after all his years of devotion? Maybe some people would think it was weird or wrong or bad. But nothing could be wrong between the two of them. They were soulmates. Meant to be together, but something had gone wrong. At least now he could do something right.

Leaning down into the coffin, he kissed her cold lips. It should have disgusted him. It should have sobered him up. But all it did was make him hard. He pressed kisses all over her face, always coming back to her lips which no longer seemed so colorless. With a gasp, he tore himself away, just barely able to manage that. Unlike in a fairy tale, his princess did not open her eyes. Okay. Fine. Okay. He did it. He finally did it. He could leave now, couldn't he? Leave her.

He ripped open her dress, making the buttons that ran down the front of it pop off every which way, some in the coffin, some in the dirt. Her breasts bounced in the bra she wore. He clawed through it, staring at her nipples as he began to unbutton his shirt and pants. Kagome was so soft and pliable. He didn't want to think about how or why or anything, didn't want to question his actions. He just wanted to be with her. He'd only ever wanted to be with her.

Face wet with tears, he kissed her again, their bare chests touching. In his mind, she was alive and wanting him as much as he wanted her. He plunged his tongue into her cold mouth. It tasted like alcohol and candy. Was that just him or partly her? He couldn't remember eating gummy bears, but he knew they were her go-to snack. Moaning, he warmed her body with his hands. Why was she so cold? Why was she just lying there? Was she mad at him? Inuyasha didn't want that. He could handle anything but her being so mad at him.

Kagome's nipples were hard. Good. She wasn't stopping him so it looked like she wasn't that upset. Maybe it was a game. He was just going to have to give her the best fuck of her life so she'd talk to him again. His lips found her breast and he sucked like a baby, grinding his bare dick against her leg.

"I love you so much, Kagome," he whispered into the waves of her hair, entering her with a groan. Fuck, but she was tight. And a virgin. She had saved herself for him.

She didn't say anything, but she must have liked what he was doing. The harder he went, the wetter she got, and soon he was on the verge of coming. One hand pinched her nipple, and the other rubbed at her clit. Inuyasha wanted to come with her the first time. He wanted to take care of her, love her forever. He wanted her to know how he felt, so he showed her. Her eyes remained closed and it tore at his heart. Did she think he was just using her? Just using her to get off? Slowing his frantic thrusts, he brought his lips back to hers, losing his fingers in her soft hair. This was about love, not just their needs.

But he was only a man, and her lovely body was so tight around him, her pussy the home he'd never had. Teasing her nipples, he couldn't stop his hips from picking up the pace, and soon he was spilling inside her. Fuck, he'd make it up to her. He'd eat her out all night long, sit her down on his face and prove how much he loved her.

A light shone down on them.

Enraged at being interrupted, Inuyasha growled at the intruder and sprang to claw them down. No one should ever see Kagome like that but him! When he was almost out of the hole, his claws about to shred the fucker to ribbons, he was pushed back by an invisible force. There was barely any time for him to avoid crashing down into Kagome, but he did. He'd do the impossible for her.

"Are you happy now that you got what you wanted?"

Inuyasha squinted and just made out the face of an old woman that matched the crusty old voice. With her words, reality came back to him. He was half-naked, pants down around his knees in a wet grave with a freshly fucked corpse.

Kagome was dead.

And he was a necrophiliac.

The tears rushed to fall, but he would not let them. Why? Why couldn't he have just stayed in that beautiful dream a little longer? Had there not been any witnesses, he surely would have recovered himself, realized what he did, and then maybe lain down next to her and finally fucking killed himself. They would rot together. Together forever.

"No," he whimpered, hands clenching into fists, piercing his skin until the blood ran.

"Then is Kagome not what you wanted?"

He shook his head. "No. I want her. I'll always want Kagome. But this isn't her. Not anymore."

The old crone nodded and smiled. "How does life come to be, Inuyasha?"

"Uh, God?"

The cackle made chills run down his spine. "Sex. Sex is the act that creates life."

Confused, he glared up at her. "I can't knock up a fucking corpse!"

She ignored him. "It took you longer than I thought to return to your lover. I had to expend much magic to keep her fresh for you. What will you give me in return?"

Hatred boiled in his veins. "Were you pimping out Kagome's body!? I'll fucking kill you!" He tried to lunge at her again but was interrupted by a noise. A soft, feminine snore coming from Kagome.

"What will you give me in return for granting you your heart's greatest desire?"

Inuyasha stared at Kagome in awe. Color was blooming in her cheeks. She shuddered and brought an arm over her naked breasts.

"Anything," he whispered, voice hoarse. "I'll give you anything. Everything. I have a lot of money. You can have it all. Just let me keep her alive forever."

The old woman leaned down over the grave, lantern swinging, her pale eyes alight with evil. "After every one of your shows on your next tour, I will meet you backstage in your dressing room. Have a beautiful young woman there waiting for me."

"Why?"

She changed into a beautiful young woman herself. "You don't want to know. It takes a lot of bad magic to look this good."

Inuyasha nodded. "Fine. Anything you want. I don't care what you do as long as I have her."

She smiled. "It is done. I'll take care of the grave for you. Leave before sunrise and take your girlfriend with you."

She faded into darkness, taking the light of her lantern with her. Inuyasha didn't care if he was crazy and hallucinating or if the drugs had fucked his brain up forever and he was dying in a puddle of his own vomit somewhere. Now he could be with Kagome again. Gathering her and the notebook up in his arms, he leapt out of the grave. It was too late and they looked too suspicious for him to call a car. But that didn't matter. His heart was singing and her unconscious weight was like a warm nothing as he ran for hours back to his home. The home that he would now share with Kagome.

Heat beating hard not from exertion but rather nervousness that they were going to see each other again for the first time in ten years, Inuyasha laid her down on his bed. Kagome was still sleeping, still breathing. His jacket wasn't covering much of her and he pulled it back, indulging himself and drinking in the sight of her pussy dribbling his cum. So beautiful. Mesmerized, he reached out and ran his fingers down the soft concave of her stomach.

She opened her eyes.

Sleepy gray met his shocked amber. For some reason, he had expected her to stay asleep for a while. After all, she hadn't even stirred on the run over.

Kagome screamed.

"Where am I!? I don't know who you are, but you better take me back home right this instant or I'll—"

"Inuyasha," he interrupted. Fuck, but it hurt that she didn't recognize him. Would she remember him at all? "It's Inuyasha, Kagome. Calm down."

She stared at him. "I-Inuyasha?" she whispered, voice hardly more than a breath. "But… You look so tired. And you're covered in dirt. And you're…you're taller." Her eyes darted around the room and then back to him. "You're different. You're too different."

He tried smiling at her, afraid he would look like a pussy and dissolve into joyful tears at how she was just like she had been. It was her. She really was with him again.

"It's been a while since we've seen each other."

She snorted. "I just saw you this afternoon, ditcher. Wait, where the hell are my clothes!? What did you do to me!"

Inuyasha figured now was a good time to tell her. He would have told her nicely, but she tried to run. No, he couldn't let her leave again! Shoving her down on the bed, he covered her body with his, trapping her limbs, covering her mouth with his hand. She continued to struggle, continued to scream, tried to bite him. But there was no way he was letting go. Not ever again.

"Look at me, Kagome," he said sharply, trying to get her to pay attention. "I look older, don't I? A lot older. That's because you've been dead for ten fucking years. Everyone's older but you."

She gave him a look like he was fucking crazy. Her screams turned to muffled words and so he uncapped her mouth.

"You don't really believe that, do you, Inuyasha?" she asked, concern coloring her tone as she looked up at him with her big, mesmerizing eyes.

Desperate for her to be on the same page as him, he sighed and tossed her over his shoulder. She wasn't fighting him, but she was stiff and smelled scared. Going downstairs, he went to his in-home studio.

"I really did become a rock star," he said, trying not to brag. "Look, here's our first gold record." He spun around so she was able to see.

"Letters to Kagome," she read. "It comes out next year?"

"No, we did that nine years ago. Look around, there are others." He spun her around. The others didn't have her name, but that didn't change how very much about her they all were. There were photos of him and Miroku on the walls, too. Photos of them on stage, with other famous people, clippings of them and their interviews from magazines.

"Put me down!"

His obedience was automatic. The moment her feet touched to the floor, she sank down, pulling the jacket she still clung to over herself. Kagome looked lost. She looked scared. She looked like she needed him.

Inuyasha wasn't a kid anymore. He wasn't afraid to tell her what he was feeling. That behavior had cost him so much happiness before. It had ruined his life. Now that he had her back, he was going to finally make things right between them. He knelt in front of her.

"Kagome, I know this is hard, but I'm with you. I can take care of you for the rest of our lives. I've always loved you, you know? Ever since I first saw you, I loved you." His passion was taking over him and he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and smelling her hair. Fuck, but she smelled good underneath all the grave dirt. "You're the only one I've ever loved. We have another chance to be together. Kagome, we can do all the things we were too scared to do before."

She pushed away from him. "Look, I don't know what's going on." Her voice was thin and tight and it was obvious she was near tears. "I mean, I know you're Inuyasha, and I can see how you're so much older and bigger now, but I don't know…" She started to cry and he moved to hold her again but she put a hand up, stopping him. "I don't know what kind of relationship you thought we had back…back then, but to me, we were just tutor and pupil. For hell's sake, I even got tutoring you to count as my service hours!"

Her words cut him. Killed him. It was like she was dead all over again. The person he thought she was was dead. Worse, she had never existed. But Kagome wasn't finished yet.

"I can feel it!" she screamed out of nowhere, making him jump. "It hurts. My body hurts inside. Inuyasha, how could you? What did you do to me? Why? Why?" Whatever she said next was unintelligible, too garbled by tears and pain.

It wasn't like he could explain to her how it hadn't been rape. She wasn't even alive at the time! What could he do to make her stop thinking like that? What could he do to make her stop crying? Fuck, but she had no reason to be crying. She wasn't the one who'd had to live with her heart sawed in half only to realize it had never been whole, that what she thought would complete her was just a big fat lie. Her hysterical sobs were grating on his ears and he grabbed her again, grabbed her by the wrists. She screamed and struggled when he forced her to her feet, and she refused to walk. So he dragged her, the sounds her kicking legs made as they hit the floor matching up with his heart beat.

He threw her into the shower just hard enough to disorient her, turning on the water as hot as it would go. Then he got in with her, taking his clothes off inside. Inuyasha blocked the door, holding her struggling form against him and under the water. It had to be done. They had to get clean. They had to wash off what had happened in the grave so they could make a new start. One arm locked around her waist, he grabbed the bottle of shampoo and squeezed what was left of it over both their heads. Kagome had stopped struggling and was only crying now.

Being extra careful with his claws, he washed the dirt from her hair before doing his own. With the leftover soap, he washed her body, passing his hands over every part of her. She went completely still, allowing him to finish the job sooner that he thought, which was kind of disappointing. With a mind of their own, his hands kept rubbing her body long after the soap suds were rinsed away. He felt himself grow hard again and was glad his jeans separated them or she would be really mad. Still, he began to work his hips against her ass.

"I'm going to make you love me," he promised, licking the shell of her ear before sucking her earlobe. Kagome craned her neck to the other side, trying to get as far away from him as possible, but it only served to let him suck on her throat. His right hand was overflowing with her full breast and he felt how hard her nipple was. "See? Your body already does."

To his surprise, she turned in his arms. Her black hair was slicked back with the water, tendrils waving down her chest and over her breasts. Droplets of water glittered on her eyelashes like diamonds.

"You're right," she said quietly.

Inuyasha just barely stopped his mouth from dropping open. He was?

Kagome pressed a kiss to his chest and he nearly keeled over. "I always liked you, Inuyasha." His arm loosened around her waist and she didn't run but instead circled her own arms around his neck. "Even though I have a boyfriend, it's you I think about when I touch myself. Every morning and every night." He swore he would have come in his pants if he hadn't fucked her already earlier. Licking her lips, her eyes met his. "You were the perfect bad boy. Everyone else was so afraid of you that they didn't notice how handsome you are. I'd imagine you coming to my room in the middle of the night, tying me up, stuffing my panties in my mouth and taking my virginity. Hard." She dragged her fingers down his chiseled abdomen to his navel, right above where his pants buttoned. "It looks like you finally did it. But I just wish I could have been there, too."

That was too much for him and he broke. He had to give her what she wanted. What they both wanted. Didn't she deserve to have her wishes granted, too? Sex would be infinitely better with a present Kagome, he knew that. This was more like what he'd pictured life with her would be like. She was sexy and mouthy and pushy and bossy and sexy and he loved it. He loved her.

Taking her lips with his, he overwhelmed her with his kiss. She cried out in surprise and he remembered that he was no longer a teenager. Ten years of living, of learning, of growing up had come between them. Maybe she wasn't ready for such intensity. It wasn't like Hojo had been giving her anything even remotely close to what he was about to do to her. But he didn't know how to fuck her any other way. Inuyasha reminded himself that this wasn't just some groupie. This was Kagome. This was the girl he had been imagining during every sexual encounter he'd ever had. He had to make this good.

Kagome shrieked when he picked her up bridal style and dashed out of the shower without turning it off. Bed. That was all he could think. He had to fuck her in a bed. Thank the gods the maid had washed his sheets earlier yesterday and he hadn't come home in time to ruin them with some stinking whore. Now his bed, his room, his body would smell of Kagome, his beautiful living dead girl.

The moment her back hit the silk sheets, he was kissing her. Never would he ever get enough of her mouth. And she kissed him back this time. She was so inexperienced that it overjoyed him. So her relationship with Hojo was not as mature as he thought. It was him who'd be her introduction to all things of a sexual nature. The way it should be.

His pants were so sopping wet from the shower that he was able to slip them right off. Kagome didn't notice, too preoccupied from trying to keep up with his onslaught of kisses, her eyes hazy and her lips swollen. His fingers longed to be inside her and so he satisfied them, memorizing the sound of her little cry as he penetrated her for what would be the first time in her memory. His lips puckered remembering the taste of her nipples and they wandered down her chin and neck and chest until he was sucking them, moaning contentedly. Kagome gasped and arched into his mouth.

Her fingers flew to his ears and he stopped, suddenly self-conscious. In high school, he had always hidden them under a hat. Even though kids didn't tease him like they did back in elementary school (because they knew he'd put them in a fucking coma), he still had a complex about them. In recent years, he'd pretty much gotten over it, but now he was that same shy teenager again.

"Mmm, I love your ears. I'll suck them at the same time as you suck me, okay?"

Fuck, but he hadn't expected it to feel so good when she put the tip of his ear in her mouth. Satisfied drool covered her nipple and he spread it around, loving the way it shone in the light and proved she was his. Kagome was mewling now, the vibrations as she licked his ear every which way driving him crazy. She was so wet now, so nice and hot, that he could no longer resist her. Quickly ducking away from her seeking little mouth, he took his first taste of her pussy.

This was paradise.

They moaned in unison and he stabbed his tongue inside her cunt, getting her even more worked up. Her hips gyrated and he didn't bother to hold her down, loving the mess she made of his face with her pussy juice. Since he felt prolonging things would have just angered them both, he sucked her clit hard and fast, flicking his tongue against it. Kagome shrieked and clawed at his shoulders, pulling him into her, pushing him away, sobbing his name. It was a scene of insanity. It was perfect.

His face a mess, Inuyasha knelt. Now it was his turn. Kagome was still coming, still shaking from her powerful orgasm, eyes full of tears of pleasure. Stroking himself a couple times to the sight of her, still not quite believing this was anything more than the best dream he'd ever had, he pushed inside her. She raised herself up on her elbows and worked her hips, throwing her head back and biting her lip as she whimpered. With each little thrust, her tits bounced.

"Play with yourself for me," he pleaded. So many of his fantasies for the past ten years had been of her masturbating, eternally a naughty schoolgirl.

Thank fuck she didn't try to argue. Instead, she stuck her fingers in her mouth, sucking and looking him right in the eye before reaching between them and rubbing her clit in circles. Immediately, she tightened around him, so close to coming again. With a groan, he sped up his thrusts. The next time she came, he wanted to be right there with her. It wasn't difficult with how much he wanted her combined with the little show she was putting on. Squeezing her tits together, massaging them, tweaking her hard little nipples. It was enough to end the thing in mere minutes. Thankfully, she was just as turned on as he was, and when he snarled the moment his orgasm hit him, she was already starting to ride her own. Inuyasha continued to pump into her, prolonging her experience.

"You're the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen," he croaked, careful not to collapse on top of her. Instead, he rolled to the side, bringing her with him, still connected.

She tweaked his ear. "You were pretty good, too."

Barking out a laugh, he snuggled closer to her. "I love you, Kagome. I promise this life will be a million times better than your old one."

Kagome said nothing.

For the first time in years, he didn't need any mind-altering substances to help him fall asleep. Her scent was enough.

O\o/O

When he woke up a couple hours later, he was entirely sober and entirely alone.

At first, he panicked. It really had been a dream. He really didn't have anything to live for. But there was definitely the smell of sex in the room, and there was no way he'd forget how Kagome smelled. She was real. It had all really happened.

The bitch had taken his real wallet and run.

Growling, he picked his still damp pants up off the floor. How had he been so fucking stupid? 'Cause it sure as fuck wasn't just the drugs that had made him so blindly trusting. He knew well how dumb love made a person. Tugging on a shirt, he grabbed the keys to his fastest car. He should have tied her up. Should have chained her to the bed. Should have given her some pills to knock her out. Anything so that she wouldn't run away.

On the plus side, there was only one possible place she'd be headed.

The drive to the shrine was fairly quick but it felt like it took agonizingly long. He didn't know exactly when she had left. He didn't know if anyone in their hometown had recognized her upon her arrival. He didn't know what he was going to do if her family wanted her back.

There must have been a god or gods, because she wasn't even halfway up the shrine steps when he found her. Pulling over, he practically flew to her, grabbing her around the waist and covering her mouth. Predictably, she kicked at him and was loud as fuck even when muted, which was really not helping his hangover. Landing in the tree outside what had once been her bedroom window, he shook her as hard as he dared.

"Shut the fuck up!" he hissed. Now that he wasn't all fucked up, he was a little less sentimental and a little more practical. "What do you think is going to happen to you if your family sees you?"

Kagome turned big, teary gray eyes on him and he gulped. Fuck, but he had to stay strong. Since she looked like she had something to say, he removed his hand, keeping it at the ready just in case she decided to get noisy.

"Everything's changed, Inuyasha," she whispered. Fat tears ran down her cheek. "Nothing's where it used to be. I wanted to see if they were the same."

He sighed. Really, he hadn't wanted to do this.

"Look." He inclined his head in the direction of what had been her bedroom window.

She did and her face fell. It was nothing more than a storage room, now. None of her things remained.

"That's what happens when people die, Kagome. The living go on with their lives." Except for him. She covered her face with her hands and began to cry, making soft mournful sounds that broke his heart. "Sōta's twenty-one now. Older than you. They're happy, but that doesn't mean they forgot about you. I know you don't want to confuse them or scare them and bring all that hurt from your death back."

"But now I'm all alone!" she howled. He hoped no one was home. "Why am I here if I can't be with my family?"

Inuyasha put his arms around her, holding her fragile human body close. "You're not alone, Kagome. I'm your family now."

They stayed like that for a little while, hiding from the sun and the rest of the living world in the tree branches that had sheltered his teenage self during the times he'd dropped in on her without her knowledge. He didn't know how much time passed before she dried her eyes and wiped her nose on his very expensive Armani shirt that she wore as a dress.

"Take me back home, Inuyasha."

The drive back was silent. Kagome stared out the window, but he didn't think she was really seeing anything. When they got back home, she just stood in the foyer, not sure what to do.

Inuyasha guessed it was time. "I wanna show you something." Fuck, but he was already embarrassed.

Giving him a curious look at his odd tone, Kagome followed him upstairs. Next to his room was a room he normally kept locked, the key on a chain around his neck. Taking it off, he unlocked the door and flung it open. She gasped.

"My room! My stuff! Everything's here!"

It made him happy to see her dart around the room and pick things up, holding stuffed animals, going through her desk drawer, looking in the closet. He couldn't give her old life back, but he could at least do this.

"I bought it all a few years back," he said, still standing in the doorway, not wanting to again violate something precious to her. "Your family was having some money problems." That was nothing new. "So we made a deal. I got everything of yours except the photos and they got enough money to live off of for years, plus I pay all the bills until Sōta graduates college and gets a job."

Kagome looked up at him from where she was sitting on her bed, clutching a stuffed rabbit to her chest.

"You did that because of me?" Her eyes were shining with awe.

He nodded. What he didn't tell her and never would was how he brought eighteen-year-old girls with long black hair home and made them dress in her clothes and act out his fantasies of her. Every item of clothing she owned had been worn by some slut while he fucked them, everything except for her undergarments. He kept them untouched, pure, wanting to preserve the faint scent he convinced himself still remained on them. Her bed, too. Never did he allow any of the sluts to go near where Kagome had lain her precious head every night. Strands of her hair still lay on her pillowcase.

"Inuyasha, I don't know what to say." Her brow furrowed. "You've done some awful things, like really awful, but that… I don't know. It doesn't make up for it, but it makes me like you again."

The thought that she had ever stopped liking him made him sick. "Kagome, I'm so fucking sorry," he whispered, throat tight. Tears gathered in his eyes and there was nothing he could do to stop them from falling. "I was so fucked up last night. So fucked up. I thought… I don't know what I thought. Like this wasn't real. You weren't real. I was crazy. But I swear, I'll be good to you and never touch you or drugs again. I just want you to be happy."

For the first time in ten years, she gave him a smile. "I want the same for you."

"Hey, Inuyasha, I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have left you— Fuck."

Miroku stood in the entrance to the room, staring right at Kagome. Inuyasha wasn't sure what to do, what to say. A girl long dead in the middle of an exact copy of her room.

"Uh, this is Kikyo, Miroku. We met last night. She gave me a ride back home."

He was still staring at her. "She looks…" His voice sounded old. Panicking, Inuyasha bro-punched him in the upper arm and widened his eyes like he didn't want him to mess this up. "I mean, nice to meet you. Sorry to barge in on you two like this. I can go, if you want."

Inuyasha stopped him. First, business. "Before you go, I had a stroke of genius last night. I really hit rock bottom and it made me remember how I used to be before, you know, everything." He really didn't want to talk about how messed up he'd been after Kagome's death in front of Kagome. "Come on, my notebook's in the recording studio."

Miroku straight up giggled as soon as they were downstairs. "Holy shit, dude, you finally found yourself the perfect replacement Kagome."

He shushed the idiot. "Whatever you do, don't talk about that in front of her. I've got a good thing going and I don't want to fuck it up."

"No problem, bro. Now is this the kind of genius work that'll get the label off our backs?"

O\o/O

Months passed and the album was done. They were going on tour right away, their first one in what felt like forever.

"Do I want to go? Duh! I've always wanted to be on a tour bus!" Kagome was so excited that all she could do was talk about the places they'd go and things she wanted to do there.

Inuyasha was glad she wanted to come. There was no way he was going to leave her behind, and kidnapping her would have probably strained their fragile relationship to the point of breaking.

Things had gotten better between them bit by bit. They ate all their meals together, and unless he was working on recording or going to interviews, they were never apart. Sometimes he took her out for ice cream and shopping and romantic dinners that he swore were just friendly, no strings attached, but he always made sure she was wearing some pretty dramatic make-up and sunglasses and a scarf or something. Paranoia that someone would recognize her plagued him every moment they weren't safe at home.

Most of the time, it was like they were kids again. They teased and bickered and he fucked up at flirting and she was oblivious. Just like the good ole days. They never talked about her death, even though he would have thought she'd wanted to know what happened to her since she claimed she couldn't remember that night. They never talked about how she came back to life. They never talked about his instance of necrophilia. They never talked about the amazing sex they'd had that first night when she just wanted to get away from him and would have done anything, even make him believe that she returned his feelings, to do it.

Inuyasha hadn't touched drugs or alcohol since that night. Miroku and Sango were surprised. He gave "Kikyo" all the credit for that and so they didn't object to her moving in with him on the first night they met. They probably felt really fucking sorry for him. Head over heels for a girl that looked just like the dead teenager he'd had the worst crush on in high school. At least they didn't know he wasn't fucking her. That would just make him feel too pathetic.

Their first show in years was sold out, and they opened with a song from their new album, I Found Her. Sure, it was a more than obvious title and a desperate attempt at winning even a little affection from Kagome, but he couldn't help it. And fuck, did the crowd love it. The album was already topping the charts and it was projected to be an even bigger hit than their debut.

After the show, he ran backstage escape the lights and sounds and mostly to see her face. Kagome was beaming at him, dressed in new clothes they'd bought together earlier that day. The skirt was too short and the top was too tight and low-cut but fuck did it look amazing on her. Her hair was down in her customary tumble of waves and her leather boots went over her knees. Barely wearing any make-up since no lipstick could produce a prettier shade than her natural one, she was a vision.

Inuyasha hadn't had sex since that night.

It seemed like all he did now was masturbate. Even in his sleep, he masturbated. Her voice, her scent, her essence was in everything and he could not escape, didn't want to escape. Living with her was the most beautiful agony he could have conceived of. It was torture to have breakfast with her while she wore nothing but a cropped tank and panties, no bra. Asinine comments always ran through his head about what he'd like to be eating instead. And he couldn't stop staring. He knew it was creepy, but it was impossible. Things were getting so bad that he vowed he was going to get laid on every stop of this tour. Secretly, of course.

The first girl that flashed him that evening normally would have been one of the ones he'd take back to the hotel, but he'd slipped her a note in between songs to meet him in his dressing room, signing it so the guards would let her. He wasn't going anywhere near his dressing room tonight. He remembered his promise.

Suddenly, he felt drained. He texted Miroku that he was skipping out on the meet and greet, something he rarely did, and was going back to the hotel. Kagome went with him of her own free will. That was surprising. He would have thought she'd want to stay and have fun and put up a fight and he'd have to carry her to the Uber.

They shared a room. Since she hadn't objected when he mentioned it, he made it that way for the rest of the tour. He was only torturing himself and he knew it, but maybe she had turned him into a masochist.

Kagome sank down into the fluffy heaven of a bed and moaned. The sound was so sexual and went straight to his cock. Just to be doing something, he turned on the television and flipped to a random channel. It was a music station and they were playing one of his latest songs. Groaning, he was about to turn it off, but Kagome spoke up.

"Leave it. I like this one."

That perked him up a little. They had never talked about his music before. Maybe now he could start the conversation and get her thinking about him in a deeper way. Inuyasha sat down beside her, trying not to stare at how her breasts were almost falling out of her top.

"This is the first one I wrote about you." It was a secret and so he whispered. "After I first saw you at picture day."

The lyrics were sensual and the music was dark. She smiled at him and turned on her side, making her tits smash together, nipples poking at the fabric. Gods, he should just walk around wearing a condom because he never knew when she was going to make him come in his pants like a fucking twelve-year-old.

"How many songs have you written about me?"

"Hundreds."

"So that's what was in your notebook, huh? Love songs? Fuck songs?"

"Yes." His mouth was so dry so suddenly.

She toyed with the first button on her top. The useless thing slid out of its slit, exposing part of her lacy bra.

"You know, I wasn't lying in the shower that time. I had indecent thoughts about you, too. Lots and lots. If I could write, I would've had at least two notebooks full."

Instantly, he was hard as a rock. "Yeah?" Why the fuck couldn't he say anything else!?

She sat up and leaned closer to him. "Yeah." Always in his face, and now he knew she knew how it affected him. Damn her. Damn her beautiful face and pretty smell and delicious body. Damn her to hell so he could spend even the afterlife with her. "The first time I saw you was sophomore year. Your bandana blew away and someone made fun of your ears. You didn't say a thing, you just hit him once and he went right down, his face covered in blood. I don't know how, but it got me so wet. Your bandana blew to the bench Hojo and I were sitting on and I kept it. I stuffed it in my mouth that night while I fingered myself so no one could hear me moan." Her eyes were bright and alive, staring at him intensely.

Inuyasha swallowed. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He'd seen that bandana in her collection of things when he'd bought them, but it hadn't even entered his mind that it was the one he'd lost so long ago. Wow. Sophomore year. So she'd liked him even longer than he'd liked her.

"Well? Aren't you going to say something?"

He cleared his throat. "You're really making this really difficult for me."

She threw back her head and laughed. "Difficult? I'm making this difficult?" Suddenly, he was on his back and she was straddling him. "You're the one who's always making this difficult, idiot. I'm making it easy." In one swift movement, her shirt and bra were off and he was staring at her bare tits topped with hard nipples eager to be sucked. "What do you think I want you to do when I walk around the house practically naked? When I leave the bathroom door open when I shower? When I tell you I had a nightmare and crawl into your bed?" They were eye to eye, the tips of their noses touching. "I want you to fuck me, Inuyasha."

Those were the magic words.

In no time, he had her face down on the bed, arms pinned behind her back, ass up in the air. No panties. Fuck, she wasn't wearing panties. He would have gone down on her, but she was so wet already and he was so hard it was hurting. Had she been playing with herself while watching him perform? Fuck, there was a new fantasy.

Her pussy juice was running down her thighs and he wondered how she could have possibly hidden such a deep need to be fucked from him. Slipping inside her was like coming home. Gods, it was bliss. Pure bliss. The way she squeezed him, how she unashamedly backed up into him was enough to have him lose his rhythm and just start hammering at her like a fucking inexperienced kid all over again. Pulling back on her hair hard, she squealed and moaned his name into the blankets, one hand furiously rubbing at her clit and the other alternating between her nipples. His claws pierced her ass and tiny trickles of blood ran down her skin. Neither of them noticed. Inuyasha was quickly approaching his climax, and by the feel of how tight she was around him, so was Kagome. His hand joined hers on her clit, forcing her to come. As she screamed his name, he lost himself to his instincts and bit her hard on the shoulder, the feeling of her flesh between his teeth drawing his orgasm from him.

This was permanent now.

He gathered her into his arms, kissing her sweaty brow. Kagome was touching every part of him she could reach and finally seduced his lips to hers, where they twirled tongues for a moment. It was like she hadn't been even remotely satisfied. The thought of her being insatiable after having craved his dick for months got him horny again and then he was tasting her nipples, sucking the sweet buds into hard little peaks, rubbing them against his cheeks, thoroughly in love and obsessed with every part of her.

"I wanted to ask you something, actually."

She drew her fingertip down the inside of his ear and he shuddered, moaning in response so she knew he heard.

"I want to go to college."

Inuyasha froze.

It was another trick. Kagome had lured him into a false sense of security again and was trying to leave him. Wasn't breaking his heart all the times she had done it enough? How long had he been her slave now? It felt like all his life. Wasn't that good enough?

"How the fuck could you say something like that?" he asked in agony.

She only looked confused. "Well, shouldn't I? I can't just lay around all day keeping myself available for you. I have a new life. I need to make use of it."

He barely heard her. She was going to leave him. Kagome was going to leave him. After everything he had done for her, she was just abandoning him, leaving him all alone again to die. Not again. He wouldn't be without her again.

"We can still live together. I meant everything I said. But I have to do something for myself."

She was lying. Why was she always leaving him? Why couldn't she just let him love her?

"What are you doing, Inuyasha? Inuyasha?"

His hands were around her throat, squeezing, covering the precious mating mark he had given her. This time, it was going to be together. Live or die, they were supposed to be together.

Kagome's tears hit his skin and suddenly her gagging sounds were so loud, so terrible. In horror, he removed his hands from her throat. She looked at him like she didn't know who he was anymore. Inuyasha felt the same way. They stayed there, still entwined, still nude, just staring at each other, predator and prey and unsure of who was who. Tearing himself away from her, he stumbled out of the room, pulling on his pants along the way.

The bar he showed up at didn't care that he was shirtless and barefoot. He was a fucking rock star! Soon, the place was packed. People had called their friends. Woodenly, he posed for pictures and signed autographs. All he wanted to do was drink. All he wanted to do was forget. He thought someone asked him if he was okay, or maybe that was just that voice in his head, the one that sounded like Kagome. Kagome. He wanted to drink until he could forget about Kagome. Even though that hadn't worked in all the ten fucking years he'd been trying.

O\o/O

When he got back to the hotel the next night, Kagome was gone. It was what he had expected. Good for her. He'd keep giving the old witch the sacrifices. Anything to keep her alive. Gods above and below, he was her slave.

What he didn't expect was Miroku.

"The fuck are you doing here?" He was still drunk. He'd come to realize for the thousandth time that alcohol could not possibly erase her from his mind unless he drunk enough to kill himself, and good luck doing that as a half-demon with high tolerance.

"You left your phone. I was worried."

Something about his tone put him on edge. "Okay? Thanks."

Miroku didn't give him back his phone. "I looked through your pictures. I was bored and thought hey, maybe Inuyasha has a couple dirty pics of his new girlfriend. That would be pretty sweet. And you did." His hands were shaking and he threw the phone like it was on fire. "Kikyo is Kagome, isn't she? Isn't she!?"

Inuyasha went cold. "What are you saying?"

"I saw it. I saw the pictures of you in that fucking grave. It was Kagome's grave, Inuyasha. I remember her casket. I remember the dress she was buried in. I remember fucking all of it, even your fucking notebook!" He was panting now, torn between anger and fear. "I don't know what you did, but this is so fucked up. You brought her back. You took her peace away from her. You're fucking a dead—" His eyes went wide and he stopped. It was like he was being choked, but there was nothing that could have possibly been making that happen. Inuyasha was helpless as he watched his only friend turn blue and pass out.

"I remembered everything, Inuyasha."

He wiped the tears from his eyes so he could see her clearly. "K-Kagome? You came back?" He stumbled to his feet and went to her. She was sober, she could drive. "We need to get Miroku to the hospital. Something happened and he—"

"It was you, Inuyasha." Her eyes were full of tears and she held a hand to her trembling lips. "You were the one who did this to me."

"What are you talking about?" Was she trying to say that he killed her? But that was stupid. He would never hurt her. He loved her.

"I remembered when you choked me. It was just like in the park. When you came up to me and covered my eyes and-and-and—"

And Inuyasha remembered.

The thought of Kagome losing her virginity to Hojo had been driving him crazy. Why? Why was she with that fucker who couldn't love her a fraction of the amount he did? It was stupid. It was all so stupid. He'd stolen a shit ton of vodka and drank it straight from the bottle, waiting in the park. Why else would Kagome have told him unless she wanted him to stop it? Unless she wanted him to finally stop playing games and prove he was a real man? It was cold but he didn't feel it. The thought of how soon he'd be holding Kagome close was enough to warm him, along with the liquor.

A few minutes before midnight, there she was, standing there and eating gummy bears. It made him angry that she was dressed so nicely, in a pink and gold dress with a low neckline like some kind of perfect unreal princess. But maybe she'd dressed for him, not her boyfriend. She knew that he was going to be there, after all, since it was her who wanted him to stop it. Yeah, she was dressing for him.

Drunkenly, he stumbled over to her, covering her eyes with his hands.

"Guess who," he whispered, but she didn't hear over her shriek.

"Let go of me you pervert!" Kagome elbowed him in the gut. Normally, it wouldn't have even phased him, but he hadn't been expecting it.

"Ow, fuck!"

"Inuyasha?" She gaped at him, confused. "What are you doing here?"

"'M here ta stop it," he mumbled. She was so pretty. So sparkling and pretty.

"You're here to what? Are you drunk?" She sighed. "You are so much better than this, Inuyasha."

"I love you!" he burst out. There. He'd finally said it. "Kah-goh-meh. Kagome. I love you, Kagome. That's why—that's why you should be my girlfriend instead of his. Because. Because I love you."

Her face was bright red. "Inuyasha, you need to stop. You're so drunk, you don't know what you're saying. Even if I did return your feelings, and I'm not saying I do, there's no way I could break up with Hojo now and be with you. It would give Jii-chan a heart attack. A shrine girl dating a half-demon? I'd be kicked out!"

Inuyasha still had enough comprehension left to understand why things weren't going the way he'd pictured them. It always came down to that. To being a fucking half-demon. His hands clenched into fists and he began to shake.

"I thought you were different!" he hissed, humiliated at the tears running down his face. "I thought you were honest."

Her face softened. "Inuyasha, I—"

Whatever it was, he didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear her say anything to him ever again. No more lies. His hands wrapped around her throat and squeezed. Since her face had already been red from how humiliating an experience being confessed to by a dirty half-breed was, it was hard to tell when exactly she really began feeling the loss of air. Her eyes were full of horror, full of betrayal, mirroring his own. At last, they were being honest. At last, they were sharing the same feelings.

When her heart stopped beating, he laid her down on the bench where just earlier that day she'd sought him out and sat with him. Then he finished the rest of the bottle and snuck back into the group home, where he woke up the next morning with no memory of even having been in the park. His brain wouldn't allow him to remember doing something so horrible.

But now it did.

Inuyasha fell to his knees. That was why he drank. That was why he did drugs. It wasn't just because he'd loved and lost, but because he had been the one who had taken Kagome away from him, away from everyone.

"I loved you then, Inuyasha," she said, kneeling next to him and taking his undeserving body into her arms. "But I cared too much about what everyone thought and seeing you like that scared me. It was like everything people said about you was confirmed. Then you scared me again when you brought me back." Cradling his face in her hands, she kissed him, and it was a peek at redemption. "You gave me this life, Inuyasha. It belongs to you. Tsubaki and I will protect you forever."

At her soothing touch, he forgot what he had been so upset about. Something to do with Kagome… But she was here and she was smiling at him.

Everything was good.

And that concludes Shot Week! I know everyone's pissed off because I haven't updated TTC and yet somehow found the time to post 7 freaking one-shots, but the difference is that I want TTC to be good. I want to actually work on it, and that takes time. I'm going to try and update it before the year is out, but remember that I'm a student and writing my thesis and I'm also a lab assistant and friend and so many other things. The other stories will be updated, too. I'm always working on them and I don't abandon things (not even Forget the Storm). I'm not like the other fanfic writers, bae(s). We have a special relationship. I'm never gonna give you up, let you down… You know the drill.

Please review so I know you're there! I'd like to know which one of these was your favorite. For me, I like the way Hagne Kore was written the best, but I like the idea of There Is No Love Like the First Love most.