What if…

Disclaimer: ABC Family is credited with the basic storyline and the wonderful characters, things you haven't seen on the show, that's all me!

Summary: Something stopped Callie that night and she never left the Foster home. Can she assimilate into their family lifestyle or will it all be too much for her.

Notes: AMAZING. That is the only word that comes to mind when I think of my readers and reviewers. You guys have been just…unbelievable. I know this has taken a while to get out, and I apologize for that but I hope it was worth the wait. I'm hoping to be a little more consistent this up and coming week. Enjoy!

IMPORTANT: I'm using my own storyline, from my story Truth, of how the Liam saga played out in my other story Truth, it's not that I didn't like how the show handled it, I just kind of like how everything was finalized in my version and it's where my mind is when I'm writing so it would be too difficult to turn my mind off.

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Callie spent extra time brushing her teeth that night. She was dreading the night she was about to spend in her bed. In fact, she had been avoiding going back into the room in its entirety, choosing to sleep with Jude while he was recovering instead. So this was going to be the first time she tried to sleep there since the night she almost ran away.

Although she had yet to say it out loud to anyone, or even admit it to herself, she had thought of her room as a sanctuary. Ever since coming to the Foster home, she had used her room as place where she went to get away from everything. After each and every time she had to talk about Liam she would retreat to her room and just relax in her bed, letting the world dissolve around her, leaving her in a state or peace.

Now, as she faced the prospects of going back there, she suddenly felt that her room no longer held that security. When she had attempted to leave, almost a week ago, she had packed away all the warm feelings of that room. As she stood in the doorway, it seemed colder than ever.

"Hey Stranger," Mariana said from her bed, finishing up on her computer and closing it. She had seriously missed Callie's presence the past couple of days and was extremely excited to have her roommate back.

Feeling like Mariana's joke broke the ice; Callie pushed herself through the threshold and smiled over at her.

"You are trying to tell me that you didn't love having your room back for six whole days?" Callie joked back, her smile not really reaching her eyes.

"Well, it did bring me back to better days… day of longer bathroom times and less cold water," Mariana said, catching on to Callie's game. It was one they had played before, each trying to get the other to crack and begin laughing with their strange or outlandish statements.

"I seem to remember a certain fifteen year old saying that she personally loved hearing Brandon squeal in the morning when he got hit by an iceberg," Callie said in return, using the conversation as a distraction while she made her way over to her bed. Sitting down, she couldn't help but feel disappointed when the warm feelings did not immediately return to her.

Mariana bit her lip at the memory, trying to hold her laughter in but eventually failing. "Alright you win that round," she said with a snort.

Both girls laid back in their bed and settled in just as Stef came in.

"Everyone alright in here?" She asked, particularly worried about Callie who had seemed on edge all night. Stef thought it had to do with her double therapy session that she had the next day, but each time she tried to get Callie to open up about it, the girl shut down.

"Uh huh," Callie answered, knowing Stef was basically talking to her. Now that she was in the bed she didn't feel as awkward as she thought she would, but she also didn't feel as comfortable as she had hoped she would. With that obstacle out of the way, she knew the next bridge she would have to cross was her therapy session.

"Alright, well goodnight girls. Try to get some sleep tonight because you both are going to be pretty busy tomorrow," Stef said, turning off the light and leaving the girls alone.

Both girls shared quiet goodnights before settling under their covers and attempting to sleep.


Morning came far too quickly for Callie. She hadn't been able to get comfortable all night and therefore spent the time tossing and turning instead of sleeping. She felt tired and irritable as she made her way into the bathroom for her designated 20 minutes.

The shower did nothing to help awaken Callie and she hoped that her morning coffee could jolt her awake. She settled down with her cup, the biggest one she could find since Stef and Lena's one cup rule was something she was struggling with, and felt her body hum in satisfaction as the caffeine flooded her system. She was soon joined by the rest of the family who were all hustling and bustling trying to get some food before the day truly began.

"So, I'm taking Callie to Dr. Kimura's office, you have Jesus and Mariana going to the school with you for Jesus' volleyball game, and B, you are taking Jude to the store so he can get some new clothes?" Stef asked, running through the day's current plan.

"New clothes?" Jude asked, cocking his head to the side to accentuate his confusion. He didn't know what was wrong with his current clothes.

"You have grown two inches since you came here buddy, you're pants will be capri pants pretty soon if you keep growing at the rate you are. Brandon's gonna take you to the mall so you can pick out some new clothes, in whatever style you want," Lena explained, ruffling Jude's hair as she spoke.

Callie felt tears well up in her eyes. She felt so touched and emotional over the fact that the Foster's were buying Jude new clothes, from wherever he wanted. Something so simple was making her an emotional mess. She couldn't help it though, the facts were, in previous foster homes, if either of them didn't have a lot of clothes or the clothes they had weren't fitting well, they were given something from the thrift store that looked their size. Very rarely were they allowed to get something new, and they were never allowed to pick it out themselves.

Jude looked over to her with a mega-watt smile on his face. He was so happy that she felt herself smiling back due to the infectiousness of his joy.

"How cool is that baby?" she asked, wishing she could go with him just to enjoy his excitement at the experience. Not only would she not being going with him, she was going to what she had dubbed, 'the only legal form of medical torture.'

"Tonight, just so everyone knows and no one makes any plans," Lena said, looking over to Brandon in particular because he was really the only one left who had someone to make plans with seeing as how Lexi and Wyatt were gone and Connor was sick with the same flu Jude had earlier in the week. "We will be having a family night, the whole nine-yards with board games and a movie." She looked at each of her children, daring one of them to groan or refuse.

"Sounds fun Mama," Stef said, knowing that Lena was planning this because they had discussed how they were going to try and get the paperwork moving forward to adopt Callie and Jude as long as they still wanted it. Stef was going to pick up all the paperwork they would need while Callie was at her therapy session and Lena was going to talk to Bill after Jesus' volleyball game. They were hoping to make the official announcement that they were moving forward with the adoption plan at dinner that night.

"Alright, unless you want to be late and face your coach's wrath, we need to get going Jesus Foster," Lena said, seeing him going for another slice of toast.

"Yeah, yeah, okay," he said, stuffing the bread into his mouth and running out the door, followed by Mariana and Lena.

"We have to get going as well Sweets," Stef said to Callie, noticing that she hadn't eaten anything but not making a comment about it. She had a feeling that Callie was dreading her appointment that morning and that might have affected her appetite.

Callie took one last sip of her coffee and put the empty cup in the sink. "Have fun today and be ready to show me everything you get later," she said to Jude, kissing his forehead before leaving with Stef.


The car ride to Dr. Kimura's office was quiet. Callie was deep in thought as she sat in the passenger seat, her lack of sleep and her worry about this session was going to make it an emotionally taxing one.

When they arrived Callie was quick to get out of the car because she didn't want to have to look over and see Stef's pitying and worried look.

As they walked into the building Stef said, "I have to run some errands while you are with Dr. Kimura but I will have my phone on me and you can call if you need me, okay?" Stef was hoping that Callie wouldn't ask where she was going; she didn't want the possible adoption looming over her head during her session.

"Yeah, that's fine," Callie replied, not really worried about where Stef was going. Normally whoever took her stayed in the waiting room but Callie never understood why because it wasn't like they needed to be there for anything.

They sat side by side and waiting for Callie to be called in for her session. Callie felt her leg bouncing up and down, letting others know how nervous she felt. Eventually Dr. Kimura came out and approached them.

"Callie, Stef, so good to see you. We missed our session last week, but for a very special reason, congratulations Stef, I hope you and Lena all the happiness in the world," she said, coming over and shaking Stef's hand warmly. "Callie, how have you been?" She asked, turning her attention to her patient.

"Alright," Callie answered honestly. Dr. Kimura gestured for her to go into her office and get comfortable, lingering back for a moment to talk to Stef.

"How has she really been?" She asked Stef, knowing all about Callie's attempt to run away.

"Better than that night, but she hasn't opened up to anyone that I know of. We are both worried. We want to go through with the paperwork to adopt her and Jude, but we don't even know if she truly wants that," Stef said, sharing her fears with Callie's therapist.

"We will talk about what we can within her comfort level. I would like you to possibly join us for the last half-hour if Callie agrees. I think it would be good for you to be there when we try to talk about the adoption," Dr. Kimura said.

"If Callie is alright with that, I would love to sit in," Stef said.

"Not just sit in, join in," Dr. Kimura corrected.

"Whatever you think will help," Stef agreed, wondering if Callie would be comfortable with her joining their session in the end. She hoped so, but wouldn't get her hopes up.

With that decided, Stef left to deal with her errands and Dr. Kimura went to join Callie in her office.

"All set Callie?" She asked, entering the room, shutting the door, and taking a seat on one of the couches. After their first session they found that Callie felt more comfortable if they both sat on couches. The equalization of that allowed her to feel less like she was some crazy person in therapy and more like she was just having a conversation.

"Yup," Callie answered from her own spot in the corner of the opposite couch. She was curled into the arm with a pillow clutched to her chest. From her body language alone Dr. Kimura could see that this was going to be a tough session, Callie was closed off from the beginning.

"Why don't we just start with how the past two weeks have been, we haven't seen each other in a while after all. Any news to share?" She asked, hoping that Callie would offer up something that she could branch off of.

"Um…well, Lena and Stef got married…as you know. And, they um, they asked Jude and I if we wanted to be adopted by them," Callie said, figuring she should start with stuff that Dr. Kimura already knew.

"That's exciting isn't it, the prospect of being adopted?" Dr. Kimura asked, knowing that Callie wasn't as excited as many other kids in her situation would be.

"Yeah…I mean, it's something Jude and I have hoped for," Callie paused and bit her lip, looking down at her lap. "It's just…" she couldn't finish.

Dr. Kimura could see her struggle as she tried to figure out how to put her feelings into words. Callie seemed worried to share, which was something Dr. Kimura hadn't seen from her since their first session.

"Callie, I want to take this time to remind you that your foster parents agreed to the adolescent confidentiality contract when you first started to come here. Everything you say to me is in strict confidence, I cannot and will not share anything unless your life is in danger or someone is hurting you. You remember that right?" Dr. Kimura said, needing Callie to remember that so she could feel comfortable about opening up again. It was Californian law that she couldn't share most information with parents or guardians, but she had all her patients and their parents sign something to show that they understood before she started working with them, it gave them a sense of security.

"Yeah…" Callie said, nodding.

"So, what is it about the adoption that you are worried about?" She tried again, hoping to hear from Callie why she seemed hesitant.

"Jude and I love living with the Foster's. The moms are cool and all of their kids have been really welcoming and all…" Callie started.

"I don't want to interrupt Callie but I noticed that you keep mentioning Jude. I know Jude is happy where he is, and that he loves the Foster's. I want to hear about you, and how you feel," she said, hoping to get to the root of the matter and prevent Callie from hiding behind Jude.

"Um…I, uh, I like living there. Mariana has been really…ah, nice and stuff. And Jesus is funny…and he takes care of Jude, sorry, um…he has just been really welcoming. And…um, Brandon, he's been really supportive," Callie said, struggling. "Lena has been…like really awesome. She, uh, she's really good at making someone feel better, you know, like when they are down and stuff. And Stef, she…she ah, makes me feel safe," Callie admitted.

"Wonderful Callie. It seems like you feel comfortable there, and protected," Dr. Kimura said, proud of how Callie was expressing herself. "So what are you reservations?"

"Um…" Callie worried her bottom lip between her teeth, wondering how she was going to get through this conversation.

"Take your time, relax, and think about what you want to say. Close your eyes, gather yourself, and then share," Dr. Kimura coached. She watched as her patient did just that, calming herself down so that she could continue.

"I feel like I can't…like they shouldn't, you know, adopt me," Callie finally said.

"Okay, let's delve deeper into those feelings. Why do you believe they shouldn't adopt you?" Dr. Kimura said, trying to hide her surprise at Callie's reasoning.

"Because I'm selfish," Callie said, reiterating Jude's words from the wedding night.

"Selfish Callie? I know we haven't known each other long, but from all of our talks, and everything you have shared with me, selfish is the last word I would use to describe you," Dr. Kimura said, trying not to invalidate Callie's feelings but also wondering where they were coming from. "What is really going on Callie?"

"I um…the night of the wedding, Jude got mad at me. He told me that I was selfish, that I was ruining everything, and that it would be my fault that we couldn't be adopted by the Foster's…and he was right," Callie said, trying to be honest while struggling with what she wanted to say.

"Why was he right? What happened Callie? Did you do something?" Dr. Kimura asked without any judgment in her voice, seeing the obvious guilt that weighed deeply on her and not wanting to add to it.

"Yes…Jude caught me…well he caught us…" Callie said softly. Dr. Kimura felt something form in the pit of her stomach and she was hoping that she was wrong. Hearing Callie and seeing her struggle with what she was saying, had Dr. Kimura hoping that nothing had happened without Callie's consent. After talking to her, at great lengths, about what happened in the Olmstead's home she felt that Callie had been through enough. But with how uncomfortable she seemed, Dr. Kimura was thinking the worst.

"Callie, Jude caught you with whom…doing what?" Dr. Kimura asked, her voice steady.

"Brandon, he caught me and Brandon kissing," Callie finally said. She felt her heart beating wildly in her chest and she wondered if this kind of stuff was covered in the confidentiality contract. It was out now, she couldn't take it back. But she had promised Jude that she wouldn't be selfish anymore, and by saying what she just did, she might have just ended their time at the Foster home.

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Okay, I wrote this therapy scene in a semi-emotional/fragile state. I'm hoping that it conveyed the emotions that I was hoping to get across. Poor Callie is just so unsure about everything, and exhausted, and tired of keeping secrets so everything is about to come out.

Next chapter will be huge because it is when you will all find out what is going to happen with the Braille thing. I had a lot of opinions thrown at me on the subject which I really appreciated. I read through each and everyone and I think I will actually have most people happy with the outcome. There was a winner and I am going to honor their wishes, but I see this being something everyone can live with…I hope.

Till next time!