Chapter 7: It was an urge I just couldn't ignore

"Come to me ... child of the ancestors," the words from a single voice echoed in Sheppard's head, discordant but somehow alluring. Sheppard frowned in confusion, hearing the call and feeling drawn to find it.

Opening eyes that were blank as though still open to the dream world, Sheppard sat up. Barely flinching he pulled the IV needle from his hand, rose slowly from the infirmary bed and padded softly from the room on bare feet.

"Yes," the voice exalted. "Hear me ... find me."

Barely aware of the journey Sheppard walked silently until he was standing in front of one of the lesser used transporters. He stepped purposefully inside, tapping a spot on the map of the city that seemed more interesting than anywhere else. Bright light flashed and the doors slid open silently.

Sheppard stepped out into the corridor, pausing to cock his head to the side as though scenting the very air. As in the transporter, one direction called to him more than the others and he set off confidently.

"You draw near," the voice confirmed he was on the right track.

This part of the city was silent and dark, minimal lighting switching on to guide his path before switching off again behind him. Sheppard hardly noticed his surroundings, focussing everything on arriving at the part of the city that called to him the most.

Some minutes later his path led him to a door.

"You arrive!" the voice cried joyfully.

Sheppard swiped a hand over the door control, stepping into the darkened room. The lights came on instantly, illuminating a single figure standing in the centre of the room. She was the most beautiful woman Sheppard had ever seen – translucent skin a perfection of tone and texture, lustrous black hair falling in waves down a slender back, vibrant green eyes shining with wisdom and something else Sheppard struggled to define. She was dressed in an elegant white dress similar to the ones Sheppard had seen in the Ancient archives and on the figure in the hologram room.

"Who are you?" he asked hesitantly.

"I am Atlantis," the woman replied regally.

"What? H ... how?" Sheppard stuttered, unable to comprehend what his eyes were telling him was plainly true.

"Long have I desired to show myself to you in this form," Atlantis intoned. "It has taken some time for you to be able to comprehend my existence on a level necessary for you to be able to see me."

"Are you really there?" Sheppard frowned as he tried to understand. "Will the others be able to see you?" Before the woman could answer those questions Sheppard thought of something else. "Is this why I haven't been able to communicate with you lately – because you've been working on doing this?"

"So many questions," Atlantis said with amusement. "You descendants of the creators are such a curious people ... more so than the original evolution of humans."

"Am I the only one who'll be able to see you?" Sheppard picked the question he most needed an answer to.

"I am afraid so," Atlantis said somewhat sadly. "No others amongst you possess the creator's genes in sufficient purity to allow the level of communication required for me to achieve this state."

"So why draw me here?" Sheppard was starting to wake from the stupor he'd been in since he'd left the infirmary. "Couldn't you have appeared anywhere? I mean isn't this all taking place in my head?"

"I am separate from your mind John Sheppard," Atlantis countered. "Only in this location am I able to draw sufficient power to appear to you."

"Well at least the others don't have to witness me talking to myself," Sheppard muttered half under his breath. "With everything else going on right now the last thing I need is another symptom I'm crazy."

"I can help you fix your current problems," Atlantis offered. "In fact I can help you unlock all the secrets to this city ... and every system within it."

"But that's not what we agreed to," Sheppard frowned in confusion. "You know I don't want us being handed knowledge without having to work for it!"

"I do," Atlantis agreed blandly. "However, there are difficult times ahead. If I am to survive with you then I must bring you up to the level necessary to ensure that. Now that I am able to appear to you in this form it will be much easier for me to impart that which you need to know."

"Yeah, okay maybe," Sheppard replied hesitantly. "But how are you going to fix my problems with Doctor Beckett?" Sheppard couldn't see how anyone could fix those – not without going down the unappealing path Carson had already mapped out for him.

"I can –," Atlantis broke off, turning her head to glance in irritation at the closed door. "They come – you must leave this place immediately."

"Huh?" Sheppard frowned in confusion. "Why?"

"It will be harder for me to resolve your current concerns if they find you in here," Atlantis insisted, spearing Sheppard with the intense look in her eyes. "If you would have my assistance in the future you must allow yourself to be guided by my greater wisdom. Tell no one that you have seen me!"

"Fine," Sheppard grumbled, disturbed by the show of strong emotions that seemed out of character for Atlantis. Shaking his head at the idea that a city could have a 'character' Sheppard strode out the door and back down the hallway.

"Sheppard!" Rodney called out to him as they each rounded a corner and found themselves at opposite ends of a long corridor.

"What are you doing down here McKay?" Sheppard called back casually.

"What I am doing here?" Rodney's mouth hung open in shock. "What am I doing here? You release yourself from the infirmary almost in the middle of the night, walk down here in your scrubs, not even stopping to put on some shoes, and you want to know what I'm doing here?"

"I ah ... had to walk off some excess energy," Sheppard offered, still strolling at an easy pace down the hall towards Rodney. "Had to clear my head ... I had a really bad day so sue me if I forgot to put on my shoes!"

"This is wrong on so many levels I can barely define them," Rodney muttered, glancing behind him nervously. "I suggest you work out a better story to explain all this because Carson's gonna be here in a few seconds and he is majorly pissed at you."

"I can handle the Doc," Sheppard said with a confident tone not matched by his troubled expression. Pasting an easy going look on his face just in time he smiled weakly when Doctor Beckett arrived.

"Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard," Beckett greeted him sternly. "The fact that you're down here instead of being in the infirmary where I left you tells me one of two things. Either you're stupid lad or your PTSD is progressing at a rate that is frankly very concerning."

"Then I guess I'm stupid Doc," Sheppard replied cheekily. "I couldn't sleep – I just needed a few moments completely alone to you know ... decide on how I want to deal with the whole ... stress thing."

"And you couldn't get that back in your quarters or somewhere closer to the infirmary?' Beckett demanded incredulously. "You had to walk all the way down here, worrying us in the process?"

"Sorry Doc," Sheppard muttered apologetically. "I wasn't thinking ... it was an urge I just couldn't ignore. I honestly didn't think you'd mind."

"Okay son," Beckett relaxed a little in the face of Sheppard's genuine remorse. "But in future talk to me first, before you decide to traipse all over the city in your pyjamas."

"Of course," Sheppard agreed readily, throwing a smug look at Rodney as if to say 'see – I told you I could handle him'.

Rodney and Carson escorted Sheppard back to the infirmary, Rodney hanging around until John was once again settled back into bed. Sheppard breathed a sigh of relief when they finally left him alone after he'd sworn he'd remain there for the rest of the night. He turned his thoughts immediately to what had happened in that isolated room.

Atlantis was a real, physical being – to him at least - determined to give him everything they'd been missing since they'd arrived. Explanations and instructions for systems that were still a mystery. The locations for new systems and information they weren't even aware of yet. It was such a complete turnaround on what they'd agreed when he'd first started talking with Atlantis that it left him troubled instead of excited.

He wanted to accept everything at face value but almost three years in the Pegasus Galaxy had taught him that nothing could be taken for granted. Somehow he'd have to find out more while at the same time not providing any further evidence to confirm that he was going off the deep end. And how the hell was he gonna do that?!