Chapter 7: Sex Talk
Robin's P.O.V.
As I'm being dragged to my room, in my head I'm thinking: OK, so I'm supposed to be learning about sex. I already know the basics of sex! But maybe they will tell me about how to have BETTER sex? Hmmm, I wonder if any of the guys have had sex yet.
"OK, so last time I was the one to help you on your date. This time I will teach you the wonders of sex. We can't ask Mario, or Dark Pit because they all haven't got the balls to ask. Ike is still a virgin, but says that Lucina has been giving him "signs." So only Little Mac, Shulk, and I are unclean, yet Little Mac has only done it twice. So anyways, let's talk!" Five minutes later...
"And now you have learned the wonders, pleasure, wetness, awkwardness, and weirdness of sex. Are you happy know?" Link snickers.
"No. That was probably the worst thing I've ever experienced." I shudder.
"Just wait until the real thing happens." Little Mac snarks.
"Yeah, okay stop teasing Robin for a minute. Now you..." Shulk trails off and points at me. "You need to learn how to arouse her. So what you do..." Another disgusting five minutes later...
"OK, I think I'm all set. I know exactly what to do. So how should we kill time?" I ask.
"Play video games." Everyone chants.
"All right, let's do this!"
Palutena's P.O.V.
As I'm being dragged to my room, in my head I'm thinking: OK, so I'm supposed to be learning about sex. I already know the basics of sex! But maybe they will tell me about how to have BETTER sex? Hmmm, I wonder if any of the girls have had sex yet.
"OK, so last time I was the one to help you on your date. This time I will teach you the wonders of sex. This time, however neither, Rosalina, Lucina (yet), Samus, or I can explain, but Zelda, Raven, Wii Fit Trainer can help, since they aren't virgins." Peach announces with everyone gasping.
Wii Fit flushes and says," Well, I-I only had it twice and that's nothing compared to Link and Zelda and Raven and Shulk." Wii Fit shouts.
We all look at Zelda and Raven who shrugs with an "its true" face.
"You may think you know about sex, but in reality, you don't know crap. Now, the talk of sex!" Zelda yells. Five minutes later...
"And now you have learned the wonders, pleasure, wetness, awkwardness, and weirdness of sex. Are you happy know?" Samus snickers.
"No. That was probably the worst thing I've ever experienced." I shudder.
"Just wait until the real thing happens." Lucina snarks.
"Yeah, okay stop teasing Robin for a minute. Now you..." Rosalina trails off and points at me. "You need to learn how to arouse him. So what you do..." Another disgusting five minutes later...
"OK, I think I'm all set. I know exactly what to do. So how should we kill time?" I ask.
"Go to the mall." Everyone chants.
"All right, let's do this!"
Robin's P.O.V.
I paced around the room, every few times noticing the scented candles and flowers scattered. I couldn't believe it; I'm going to have sex! Just then I heard a soft knock on my door.
"Hello?' The voice asked. I realized it was Palutena's voice and quickly let her in.
She walked in wearing a robe. We stared at each other, not knowing what to do. She suggested we change into our sleepwear to maybe set the mood. With a knowing smile, I ripped off everything except for my boxers. She drooled and I snorted, snapping her out of my trance. She gives me a challenging smirk and undoes her knot, allowing her robe to fall own and her posing in white lingerie. I forget how hot she was in her undies. Her eyebrows went up in question and I put my hands down in defeat, admitting she had won. Not being able to control myself, I pick her up and throw her on the bed, where we begin to kiss furiously.
Rosalina's P.O.V.
"Hey, hey that's enough of that. Oh, I wonder if Robin and Palutena have had sex yet?" Zelda says.
"Oh yeah. Man, I bet they haven't even gotten in bed. Or naked. " Ike snickers.
"Well, I believe they are! Or have, actually. Even if the two are a little awkward, they love each other enough to make the big leap. And also, I can't be the only one who thinks this, right?" I ask.
Dark Pit didn't want to agree, but he loved his girlfriend too much to leave her hanging. He reluctantly raised his hand, while Rosalina smiled widely. Dark Pit was sure he had made the right decision.
"OK, let's make a REAL bet. If they are in bed and Dark Pit and I are right, you all have to cough up 200 bucks. If were're wrong, we'll both give you 200 bucks. EACH." I declare, catching everyone's attention.
We all eagerly shake hands.
"Now let's all go and ruin the start of a possibly best couple that we've ever seen!" I shout.
Palutena's P.O.V.
I honestly, for one, do not know how this happened. At first we were just making out. Then, I had a sudden urge and took off his clothes and he did the same to me. We were naked, but we were tired. We decided to take a break, so Robin started to check out his biceps while I whipped out my reading glasses and continued this book I had begun. I heard a small creak. but before I could say anything the door slammed open to reveal Rosalina.
I yell, "Oh my Goddess what are you doing? Why would you open the door like that? I told you that I had dibs for our room for the night. I understand if you wanted to do something with Dark Pit or something, but there are other rooms available."
Although Rosalina is blushing like crazy, she pumps her fist in the air and mutters something about coughing up dough. And with that she left as soon as she came. We heard yelling, foot stamps, and loud swearing. I look at Robin in astonishment as they say some cusses that even I don't know, and I'm supposed to be the All-Knowing-Goddess! Before Robin and I can pick up from where we left off all of our friends barge into the room, this time Rosalina having a smug look, whilst Dark Pit, with everyone else, has their jaws to the floor.
"See? I told you guys! Rosalina gloats. "Only I knew and Dark Pit was smart enough to agree. You're the best boyfriend ever!"
She wraps her arms around Dark Pit's neck and his face turns red as a rose.
"Oh yeah, and you guys have to pitch in 200 bucks." She says.
Dark Pit picks her up and proceeds to carry her out of the room, with her giggling like a maniac and everyone else following behind them and every few moments looking at Robin and I in disbelief.
I feel Robin grab my hand and say, "Let's finish what we started."
5 minutes ago...
Wow, so Robin and I are gonna have sex! This is a big step. We are giving our bodies to one another. I just wonder if I can follow through all of the steps and tips that Zelda gave me.
Currently
Oh my Goddess! Me and Robin just had sex! SEX! It just happened so quickly! One moment we were just gazing at each other, the next moment-WHAM! Robin makes a move and we had sex. It was awkward yet glorious. But I know understand what they mean when they say having sex for the first time for girls can hurt. It was enjoyable, but I am just a little sore; Robin goes fast. I bet it didn't for him at all; the way he keeps pumping his fist I'd say that he's pretty satisfied. Now matter how uncomfortable and a little painful it was, I'm just glad that my first time happened with my love. I begin to smile in his direction and, to my surprise, stops pumping his fists to look back at me.
He the grins and mouths, "Round 2?"
I respond by lunging on him, and paradise blooms yet again.
Robin's P.O.V.
I wake up to Palutena kissing my neck and stroking my back.
"Hey, you're finally up. Remember what went down last night. You were an ANIMAL in the bed! And I'd like to say that I wasn't so bad either. Well, I guess the tips from Link and Zelda really helped." She whispers in my ear.
All the memories comes flooding to me, I just remember that I' a MAN! I lost my virginity to the girl I love! An she said that I was good! Me, good in bed! Before I got to be proud of myself, I see Palutena's smirk drop and turn into a big grimace.
"Wait Robin! Were you wearing a condom when we had sex? Because if you didn't, this could lead to BIG problems! Well actually, LITTLE problems! And since I'm a Goddess, well, let's just say if may be a little difficult. Anyways, do you even KNOW what I condom is? Ugh, how could I get myself in this problem! I should have been more safe and protected! Damn it Robin, why do you have to be so insanely attractive!? And what about-" I put a hand over her mouth to get her to stop talking. She takes a breath and I begin to speak.
"OK, first of all, thank you for calling me insanely attractive. Second, YES I know what a condom is. I'm not dumb. Next, one of these days me and you are going to have a little talk about this ' Pregnant Goddess' stuff. And finally, I did have a condom on. You just must have been too excited to notice." I drone.
She sighs in relief, and I pat her back. I ask her if we should make the bed, but she says no because it has been 'stained' with our (and especially mine) 'essences'. She uses her magic and the old one is gone, and replacing it is a new one. We walk to the kitchen along with our fellow Smashers, hand in hand. For a minute we stand there in an embrace, but no one pays any attention to us. Palutena clears her throat loudly, causing them to look at us for a brief moment, then go right back to eating. It takes them a minute to process who we are, and remember that we're the reason that they EACH owe Rosalina and Dark Pit 200 bucks (Rosalina obviously didn't mention this for reason) and then start screaming. Robin hushes them all. Before he can announce the news, I beat him to the chase and yell that we had sex. Everyone is screaming so loudly that some of the other Smashers began to complain, so Master Hand quickly comes and shushes us all. We shut-up instantly. The moment it leaves, Peach asks what is next for Robin and I's relationship. I must have shown a confused face, because she rolls her eyes and begins to explain.
"There are several stages in a relationship, and so far you guys have completed the intimacy part. Now, you have to shows affections, otherwise known as showing public and impressive acts of love. I know you guys may think you love each other, but now is the time to prove it. At exactly 12:00, the acts of love will begin. To make sure it isn't just you two, all couples are playing!" Peach shouts.
No matter how much we protested, we were lured in into participating. Well, I think. Let the love begin!
