Chapter 7
Harry woke up the morning after with a burning headache and a feeling of loss. He blinked confused a couple of times before he started to sob. Silent tears poured out of his eyes. He was not as hysterical as he had been the night before, but he was still completely down. He had touched the ghost. Everything said that he shouldn't do it. Where was his brains? You just didn't touch a ghost. A normal ghost was cold and unpleasant to touch. Whatever Lucius was, you still didn't touch him.
Sighing Harry swung his legs out of the bed and stepped out of it. He had the same clothes that he had worn the day before. Draco had not changed him, and Harry was happy that he hadn't done it.
He stepped out of the clothes and walked over to the wardrobe totally naked. He got a glimpse of himself in the mirror and got nauseated. Suppressing the feeling and looking another way from the mirror he found himself a pair of loose trousers and wide jumper. Taking the clothes with him he walked into the bathroom. Still not looking into the mirrors he started to fill the bathtub with water.
He watched fascinated at the waters that ran down into the tub and filled it.
He still had tears running down his chins, but he didn't notice. He was kind of used to them.
It was nearly a year since Lucius had passed and why did he cry like this now?
He had mourned like every other that lost his/her spouse, but he had managed to live on. He had done whatever he needed to do, but now it had hit him with full force again. How was is possible?
The bathtub was now full and Harry lowered himself down into the hot water.
The bathtub was as big as the prefect bathrooms bathtub was. Harry could swim in it, just like a swimming pool But Harry had no plans in swimming, he laid himself down in the end of it and relaxed. Thinking everything over. He wanted to die, but he had his two girls and could not leaved them. He would watch them grow up and when they were old enough he would end it. Smiling for himself he actually got a bit happier. He looked forward to it. Of course he had to hide it as an accident, but he would still do it. He could not live like this forever, just until the girls didn't need him anymore.
One summer day, 6 months later Harry and Draco laid by the pool relaxing, the two girls were with their nanny.
That summer it was extremely warm and Draco walked around in a shorts and got a extremely good tan. Harry looked over to him and got envious. He had to lie in a shorts that went to his knees and a t-shirt. He even had to buy himself a bra, but he never shared this with Draco, he really hoped when he was finished the breastfeeding, his breast would go back and never come back again.
«Harry, you have to much clothes on, it is HOT here» Draco said, looking over at the overly clothed boy beside him.
«Yes, it is hot» Harry said shortly.
«So why do you still have so much clothes on?» Draco looked confused. It had to be over 35 degrees and it was overly hot. If he hadn't had his regular dip in the pool, he would have been over heated. Looking over at Harry, he saw the boy did not have it comfortable.
«Because, I don't want to show myself off» Harry said before he stood up and walked into the house. He knew Draco meant it well, but he didn't know if he ever would be comfortable enough around Draco to actually walk around bare chested as he did before.
Draco stood alone beside the swimming pool and wondering what that was all about before he dived out into the water. He swam around before he decided to talk to Harry about what was bothering him.
Harry walked into the nursery told the nanny to give them some time alone. He never let anyone see him feeding the two girls. He didn't even know if Draco was aware of it. There was always some bottles with milk in the refrigerator. The Nanny nodded and left the room.
Harry picked Lucy up from the cradle.
«Hey Sweetheart, are you hungry? » Harry smiled down to her, looking over to the door, checking it was closed before he pulled up his t-shirt and opened the bra. Cradling Lucy to his chest and he felt the now familiar sucking on his nipple and he relaxed. Looking softly down at the small girl, as they had predicted she got blond silver hair, just like the Malfoys. Harry sighed and leaned back into the chair and closed his eyes. Embracing the feeling of completeness. He suddenly felt someone staring at him and he looked up. Kneeling beside him sat Lucius, looking at Lucy drinking from him. Harry blushed, but Lucius just smiled at the picture the two made. Harry switched the girl over to the other chest, he was not afraid Lucy would drink everything before Faith got anything; he produced enough milk to both of them. Harry leaned down into the chair again and looked up to Lucius who smiled to him and mouthed I love you, before he vanished. Harry felt a bit down, but smiled to the girl in his arms. He felt so content that he never heard the door open and Draco Malfoy looking in. Draco just stood there, watching Harry feeding his daughter. Draco was a bit shocked over seeing Harry breastfeed, but he didn't care. Harry looked happy, and it was not often he did that.
«You two look adorable» Draco said and smiled. Harry's head shot up and looked at Draco and he started to blush, the redness going down to his neck and up to the root of his hair.
«What? » Draco asked, not understanding why Harry was embarrassed.
«You are not supposed to see me like this» Harry said and blushed even more.
«Why not?» Draco was confused.
«Because I am a boy, and boys don't have breast or breastfeeds.» Harry mumbled. Suddenly he understood why Harry didn't want to undress by the pool and why he never saw Harry feed the girls. He had thought that the Nanny did everything.
«Harry, you don't have to be embarrassed, I don't think it is strange that a person who has given birth to a child breastfeed, even if it is a man» Draco smiled. Harry tried to smile, but he was extremely uncomfortable.
«I have my own body faults as well Harry, you have an excuse»
«Like what? »
«Don't laugh when I tell you this, I have it glamoured»
«Yeah sure, could you please take Lucy and give me Faith before you tell me» Harry asked and smiled.
«Yeah sure» Draco walked up and picked Faith up before exchanging child with Harry.
«I have a third nipple» Draco said and blushed while he stroke Lucy's back.
Harry smiled.
«What? Are you kidding, where? »
«On my left side, my arm hides it»
Harry just smiled. He knew Draco told him this to comfort him, but he could not see the problem with a third nipple, it was just one more erogenous zone.
«Have you spoken with Severus? » Harry asked. «How does he like the defence position? »
Draco grinned.
«Oh he has it wonderful; I think he enjoys it very much»
Harry laughed at this.
«Yeah I can imagine, I think the whole castle prefer him as a defence teacher over as a potion professor»
Harry grinned, but it disappeared quickly again.
«What is it? » Draco asked concerned.
«I saw Lucius» Harry said without a trace of feeling. «He hasn't showed himself since the time I touched him»
Faith lost the nipple she was sucking on and fell asleep and Harry smiled down at her and laid her down in her bed. He never saw the frown on Draco's face. Lucius knew that if Harry saw him Harry would eventually be so depressed that he would end himself. When a thought hit him.
«Here take Lucy, I have something I must do» Draco said and gave her to Harry who shrugged and put his other daughter down into her bed.
Draco said a distant bye and ran out of the room. Harry stood left wondering what that was all about before he noticed the wards in the house gave a signal that Draco left.
Smiling he called the Nanny and asked her to look after the twins before he walked down to the swimming pool. He dragged of his clothes and dived into the cool water. Feeling very content.
Draco ran to his room and to his fireplace and took a handful of floo powder and threw it into the fire and called out.
«Severus Snape Office, Hogwarts» he landed on his butt in Severus's office.
«And what can I help you with? » the drawling of Severus's voice came from the desk in the room.
«I think there is something wrong with Harry» Draco said starting right on the subject.
«Oh, please tell me» the potion master said and laid the quill down.
«He has seen father again»
This caught the potion masters attention.
«Lucius said he wouldn't show himself again»
«I know, but something must have happened to make father do that»
«Why do you think there is something wrong with Harry because of this? »
«He has been more happy recently. Like he has a purpose in life» Draco said.
«And why shouldn't he have a purpose in life? » Severus asked and raised an eyebrow.
«Because the ones who have lost their soul mates do not have a purpose, they float through life with no other happiness than the memories of what they once had»
Severus sighed.
«Do you think he have decided to end it? »
«Yes, maybe not now, but later when the girls don't need him» Draco said. «It is just a feeling I have, he have never said anything»
Severus nodded at this.
«He might, depressed people actually gets happy when they have decided to end it»
Draco even got paler.
«We have to stop him»
«I don't think you need to worry yet. He will stay for his girls. Just try to keep Lucius away; I don't think Lucius meant Harry to see him. I suspect Lucius is watching him from the shadows in the house»
Draco nodded.
«Now Piss off. I have a class to attend to»
Draco laughed and flooed back to the manor.
The next three four years went by and the girls grew up. Lucy became as they predicted blond and looked very much like her father. Faith was black haired and had green eyes, but other than that she looked like a Malfoy, pale and pointy face. They both were very beautiful and had the typical Malfoy sneer. Both Harry and Draco had laughed the first time Lucy made one.
«My God, she looks like me, when I was at that age» Draco held his side as he laughed.
«What? My daughter does not look like a brat» Harry laughed.
«No, she does not; I was a perfect child, so she has to be something special»
«Where do you think I should send the girl to school when they are 11? » Harry asked, suddenly changing subject.
«What do you mean? » Draco raised an eyebrow. «The school here in France is pretty good, they even have dark magic lessons, I didn't think you had a problem with that»
«No, I have not, but I want them to have the best. The best school, where it is in the world, I will be moving with them of course, but I hoped I didn't have to move to Australia to get it»
«Hogwarts is the best option then, but the girls are Malfoy's, who will you put as guardians? »
«Ary and Draco Malfoy» Harry grinned, «imagine those faces. »
«Yeah I know» Draco smiled. «But, there is a reason you and my father kept it a secret»
« I don't know. Maybe I should put them as Potter, but Lucy's looks give it away. Hopefully I can hide myself as Ary Malfoy and no one will recognize me as Harry Potter, but still, I can't say that they are Lucius's either. He was a death eater; the ministry will have a close watch on me»
«Put me as their guardian, I am their uncle Dray, horrible nickname as it is, I can say they are some distant cousins of mine, their parents died»
«We can't lie, I just have to put myself up as their parents, people will think it is you who are their father anyway» Harry sighed. «Just glad it is 7 years before I have to do that, I am starting getting old»
«I know, we will grow old together, alone and single both of us» Draco said dramatically.
Harry took a pillow from the coach and hit him.
«I have a reason for being lonely, what is yours? »
«No girl is good enough for me» Draco said grinning.
«Oh, are you playing at my team then? » Harry laughed.
«WHAT NO, I am not gay, I am very straight, let me tell you, I just like pussies» Draco put his nose in the air and crossed his arms over his chest, making a very good Hogwarts Draco, like he was when he was young.
«You are such a brute» Harry smiled to him and shook his head.
«Yeah I know, and you ask why I am single» Draco sighed.
Draco never told Harry the truth about why he was single. He never had time, when he wasn't at the university or doing homework, he researched, trying to figure out how to put Lucius soul to rest. He had not found anything. He hardly saw the ghost anymore, but he knew he was there, watching from the shadows.
