"Hey Jane, how are you?" Maura said with a smile as she stirred the contents of a saucepan on the stove.
"Hey Maur," Jane replied drowsily, slumping onto a stool along the breakfast counter. "I'm fine, how are you?"
"Aw," Maura said slightly mockingly. "What's wrong?"
Jane looked at her with a playfully grumpy face before letting out an exaggerated huff and adding more seriously, "Nah, nothing. Just a long day. How are you?"
Maura took a moment to decide whether that answer required her to poke and prod a little more, but concluded that it was sufficient and most probably true. She pursed her lips into a smile and said, "I am well, thank you. Are you hungry?"
"Starving," Jane said without missing a beat. "What are you cooking anyway? It smells amazing."
Maura smiled at the compliment. "I am trying out a new recipe for Massaman curry. I think the coriander [cilantro] really gives it an added freshness."
"There's coriander in that?" Jane enquired curiously. "Last time I had that, well… technically it was also the first time, it was just this brown curry."
Maura nodded. "It actually has a range of ingredients," she stated. "Like many dishes, I'm finding, there are often more ingredients than one can taste at first thought but, take one of these ingredients away during preparation and you'll find it has quite a different flavour."
Momentarily thrown off by her default response to explain things, Maura soon realised something. "Wait," she said, looking a little defeated. "Does that mean you don't like Massaman curry? I'd be happy to make you something else." She didn't want to seem impolite.
"No, nah," Jane practically protested. "Really, it's fine. I'm sure yours is delicious." She tried to smile sincerely but, in truth, she really wasn't sure how this was going to go.
"I don't mind making you something else. I really should have asked if you had any dietary requirements earlier," Maura said no longer only looking slightly defeated.
"Maura, really. It's fine," Jane assured. "Besides, I don't think me complaining about work and you insisting that I join you for dinner because it was the end of the day and you didn't think I would cook for myself if you didn't offer really allows for planning time anyway."
Even Jane could be reasonable and rational, or at least logical, when she tried.
Maura pursed her lips, not sure whether to persist. "I'll tell you what, if you don't like it, I'll order you a pizza," she said with a hopeful smile.
Jane grinned before excitedly adding, "How about we have both!"
Maura let out an involuntary giggle and, just like that, their evening returned to normal without the stress and anxiety of social etiquette.
•••
Jane headed for the door and Maura knew that if she wanted to talk that now was the time to start. "Jane, can we talk?" Maura asked carefully.
Jane slumped and turned back around to face her before adding with a playful impatience, "Do we have to?" It sounded like the remark of a child to a parent, perhaps more so than she'd intended.
Maura didn't mind her charismatic responses, even if they were just there to hide Jane's real thoughts. She even considered herself quite used to them, even if she didn't always understand the context. With wholeness and sincerity, she added, "I would like to, if it's alright with you."
Jane's usual façade quickly disappeared as she realised that Maura's inclinations were of a more serious nature. Without a word she tilted her head subtly, almost as if to literally lift an ear to Maura's words.
She took a deep breath before turning side on and gesturing for Jane to have a seat on the lounge.
"What's on your mind?" She asked in a soft tone as she headed for the lounge.
Although quite nervous at the moment, Maura knew how to put on her brave face, particularly when it came to social situations. How to start a conversation on one's feelings, especially when it involves the feelings of a stubbornly brave-faced detective, though was a different story. Eventually, after pacing a few steps back and forth as Jane patiently watched and waited, she said, "Do you ever feel like you can't be yourself?"
Jane looked on perplexed. "What d'you mean?" Her dark eyes showed explicitly how much she cared for Maura and that she was genuinely concerned that her friend may not be okay.
Maura sighed, previously hoping that Jane would catch on and that she wouldn't have to elaborate as she, herself, didn't quite know how. "Do you ever feel like you can't be yourself?" She repeated. "Like, maybe the people around you wouldn't accept you or like you or respect you if you were your true self."
Jane could see Maura was upset about something but she didn't really know what. She guessed that's why they were having this discussion. Instead of answering the question, she stated, "Maura, you can always be yourself around me. Even if that means you start wearing tasselled clothing at all times, I don't care. You're my friend and I want you to be comfortable being you because I will always accept you and appreciate you."
A little frustrated that Jane hadn't figured out what she was hinting at, she decided to approach the topic from a different angle. "Would you still accept me if I raised a personal concern with you that would be potentially harmful to our relationship?"
"If you have something on your mind, of course you can talk to me. Hell, you can talk to me when you have nothing on your mind." Jane smiled caringly and hoped that it showed.
Maura, once again, took a deep breath in and out, finally vocalising, "Lately, I have felt like, perhaps, you have been dealing with something all on your own." Her words were slow and cautiously spoken. "And, I am concerned that it is affecting your well-being and that makes me quite… sad, for lack of a more eloquent word."
Jane smiled small before adding, "That's what you're upset about?" Her smile grew a little as she fully took in her friend's cute and caring nature. "Maura, I'm totally fine, really!"
Maura wasn't impressed by Jane not taking her seriously and simply stood across from her looking disapproving.
Jane let out a breath and pursed her lips into a gentle smile and said, "Come here," while tapping the couch next to her.
She had to take a few moments to consider how exactly this was going to pan out. She had no interest in just being brushed off because she was quite certain that Jane was not 'fine'. She relented, however, but assured herself she would not be swayed easily. She walked the few steps towards her lounge and sat about two-feet away from her.
"Maura, it's very sweet of you to care but, really, there's nothing going on." Jane smiled her most convincing smile as she looked Maura directly in the eyes and awaited a response.
Politely, she said, "You'll have to forgive me then for not believing you." This was a bold move for Maura, at least in comparison to the Maura that Jane had come to know.
Jane knew she had upset her friend, so she continued on by saying, "Can we talk about it?"
"With respect, according to you, there's nothing to discuss," Maura said a little snarkily.
"That's because I have no idea what you're talking about," she exclaimed more energetically than intended.
Maura huffed. "Ever since this case began, you have been acting differently."
Jane, still quite oblivious to whatever it was the doctor was hinting at, said, "I guess I've just been busy! It's been dead end after dead end."
"That's not what I was referring to," Maura said relatively calmly.
"Then enlighten me, Maur!" She said, somewhat defensively. "Because I care about you, but I don't know what's going on here," she shrugged.
Maura wanted to make things clearer to her blatantly unaware friend, but she didn't know which piece of information was going to be the thing that would cause the penny drop in her head. She took a moment to consider before saying, "You know the distance of a light year."
"So?"
"Not the round-about answer, not the close answer, but the exact distance," Maura continued to explain.
"Maura, so what? Everyone knows a weird fact or two," she reasoned.
"The other day," she added, "You used the word 'evocative'. And tonight during dinner when we were talking about the difference between a coriander leaf and that of continental parsley you used the word 'comparatively'." Maura sighed. "You are a brilliant detective who is incredibly strong and remarkably smart but, in all the time I've known you, you've never spoken those terms."
Jane glanced down, she hoped subtly enough for it not to be noticed.
"Don't tell me there's nothing going on, Jane. I care about you and there's obviously something happening here."
Jane didn't want to lie to Maura, but she didn't know how to tell the truth about this either.
"At the library, you knew one of the employees. Does it have something to do with that?" She said, eyebrows raised in the centre of her forehead.
Shit. She sat, annoyed with herself that she'd let anything show, let alone been stupid enough not to notice when it had.
Maura saw the struggle that was currently plaguing her friend. She took a relaxed breath, feeling better that maybe this meant the truth was finally coming out and that a resolution could be found. She reached her hand across and rested it gently on top of Jane's. "Jane, please. What's going on?"
Jane, whose elbow was resting on the top of the lounge's back, rubbed her forehead despairingly with a quiet sadness beginning to take over the better part of her mind. "It's… complicated," she said with a slow shake of the head.
•••
*buzz buzz buzz*
Jane's phone vibrated loudly on her bedside table.
*buzz buzz buzz*
Finally, she rolled over and tried to look at the screen before finding that it was too hard for her eyes to adjust. So, she guessed; "Rizzoli," she said with a low groan.
"Seriously?" Jane paused waiting for the other person's response.
"'Kay, I'll be there soon." She said before hanging up and rolling onto her back. Staring at the ceiling she pulled up her wrist to check the time. 4am. "Crap," she uttered uncaringly.
Waking Jane from her slumber is like poking an angry bear except a little more dangerous. So, when she arrived at the station, it was only natural to find the person in charge of radio communications this shift looking a bit fearful and avoiding eye-contact as she passed.
She reached her desk and fell into her chair. Korsak was already there and, unlike her apparently, had already had more than one cup of coffee.
"I see they decided to interrupt your beauty sleep?" Korsak remarked cheerily.
Jane looked him in the eye, clearly unimpressed.
"Fine, fine," he replied. "Did they tell you what was going on?"
"Said there was someone here who insisted on speaking to me and that he was throwing a hissy fit?" Jane said, clearly not quite past her usual morning grumpiness.
Korsak looked her straight on for a moment before asking, "Did they tell you who?"
Jane tilted her head slightly, realising that there may be more to this than she originally thought. "Who?"
"Ralph Bert," he stated, carefully watching Jane's response.
As expected, a look of shock appeared on her face almost before Korsak had finished speaking. She sat up in her chair leaning her elbows on her desk and her head on her hands. It could even be speculated that she even looked a little nervous.
Korsak wasn't sure how to press on with this but knew that he needed more information than the fact that Jane and he went to school together at one stage. "I take it they didn't tell you exactly what Ralph has done since he turned up this morning?"
Jane's face shot to the side so she was facing Korsak directly. "No," she said, now more worked up than before. "What the hell happened?"
Korsak let out a barely audible sigh. "I didn't want this on the radios, and figured it would be better to keep it contained."
He paused for not even two seconds before Jane jumped in, now significantly agitated, and said, "Korsak, what the hell is going on?"
