Sakura's POV

Reggie was getting very attractive the more I looked at him… and the more I drank.

Normally I wouldn't go for guys with ponytails and too much facial hair but right now, he was looking good. The whole incident with Syaoran was bugging me though. It killed a bit of my buzz.

"So you still single?" He asked grinning.

"Yeah, you?" I said knowing where this was going.

"Sure am. Do you think you and me would ever…"

"Nope." I said. I may be drunk but I'm not stupid enough to try dating him again.

Reggie and I use to have a complicated relationship. During high school and a bit of college we were constantly on and off. Mainly because he kept cheating on me and mainly because I was a pushover. He was lazy too which irritated me and the drugs pissed me off too. But during those times when I felt lonely, or it was Tomoyo's and Syaoran's second, third, fourth year anniversary, Reggie was someone to temporarily fill the void. I guess in a way I was using him. To be fair, he was using me too. He made me laugh. He always made me laugh.

In no way did I ever love him.

I never had.

I'd never go back to him. Too much shit has happened in my life as a result of being with him. He was harmless though.

"I guess it was worth a shot." He said laughing lightly.

We talked for a while longer and as I said, he knew how to make me laugh. I was warming to him. His eyes were sleepy as usual. He had a scruffy appearance and his hair was always tousled about as if he just got out of bed.

Somehow his arm managed to rest itself around my waist and remain there. I didn't move it because it didn't bother me to be honest. Gradually we became flirtier with each other. Our faces becoming closer threatening to break the 'friend' zone. At this moment I didn't care. Reggie and I would never date again. But if something did happen tonight, if he did kiss me, the fact that it would develop into nothing would not bother me. The times Reggie and I were coupley were moments I did cherish to some degree.

To feel wanted and loved… It was almost worth the hassle of being with him.

"Hey Saks… do you wanna get out of here?"

"Yeah." It was a bit humid in here and some fresh air would clear my head.

He intertwined his fingers in mine and led me out through the thick crowd. I kept my head down as to ensure I didn't not make eye contact with Tomoyo Eriol and especially not Syaoran.

The night air was icy on my skin and we walked down a street for a bit until the thudding of the nightclub music died down. Before I knew it we were at an alleyway.

I was feeling extremely dizzy. Standing up straight proved to be quite a challenge. I sat on a nearby garbage bin.

Get it together Sakura. I rested my head between knees and sucked in the cold air.

I heard Reggie strike a match and light up a cigarette. He rubbed my back sympathetic of my current state.

"Sorry." I said. "I'm a mess." I actually laughed at myself.

He smirked and shook his head. "Not at all, many a time you had to drag my drunken ass home by yourself."

I smiled. That was true. They were some messed up nights.

"Hey Sakura." He said in a different voice.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want a 'pick me up?"

I didn't get the gist of what he was saying so I looked up and saw him dangling a packet containing white powder.

My eyes bulged. Was he actually suggesting that?

"Reggie seriously? What the fuck? I'm drunk but not stupid. I'd NEVER go back to that!"

His grin moulded into a mocking smirk.

"It never bothered you before, why so against it now?"

"I never fucking did that stuff and you know that!" I fumed.

He was upsetting me so much my knees began to tremble as I backed away from him. Why did I let myself get into this situation? What is wrong with all the men tonight?

I glared at him retreating towards the street when his smirk turned sour and he lunged towards me and grabbed my arm. I was dragged away from the exposure of the streetlights.

"Let go Reggie." I said in a semi-calm voice. If I screamed I knew he'd tighten his grip and probably hurt me more. I only noticed now he had a good bit to drink and was easily agitated when like this.

"You know I preferred you more in college. You wanted me then, you needed someone like me regardless what everyone else said about me. You didn't want me to be like him. You wanted the opposite. We could have been good together Sakura, If you gave us a chance you would've seen that." He spat.

"I've never needed you Reggie you were just a pathetic substitute to fill my loneliness." I hissed regretting it straight away.

Anger flashed in his eyes and his eyes. He always loved a fight.

"I see your obsession with Li hasn't left you. Can't you see you ain't good enough for the likes of the Li's? They'll never accept people like us Sakura never!"

"I am NOTHING like you Reggie so don't go there." Tears were streaming down my face. I forgot how hurtful he could be sometimes. It was so rare Reggie would act like this. It was only when he was passionate about things he'd pick a fight. But ninety eight per cent of him was calm, sleepy.

"I actually liked you! I threw myself at you but you just looked at Li and cast me aside."

"You cheated on me six times Reggie! SIX TIMES! How can you even suggest we were good together?" This was definitely not how I wanted to celebrate my birthday.

His hands were still clutched onto my arms. I knew he wouldn't hit me. The Reggie I knew wouldn't hurt a girl but he was tipsy and angry so anything could have been possible. I was afraid.

I closed my eyes waiting for something to happen.

For a minute all I felt was my blood circulation slowing due to his tightening grip. Then the relief when he let go abruptly.

Peeking through one eye I saw Reggie lying on the ground with another person punching his face. One after another he delivered a blow to the point I couldn't look.

Reggie rolled over in pain and my saviour turned around to reveal himself.

Syaoran looked as if he would lunge at Reggie again only my arms were around his waist tugging him away.

"You piece of shit! What did you do to her?" He spat trying to push me away so he could get at Reggie again.

"He didn't do anything Syaoran leave him!" I shouted knowing he'd annihilate Reggie with another blow.

Reggie struggled to stand up and nursed a hand over his now bloody nose.

"Fuck you Li." He growled before glaring at me. "You and I are done forever!" I nearly laughed in his face but instead I stayed quietly behind Syaoran.

Reggie stalked off down the dark alley and with every step he took away from me I felt relief stay with me. I had a feeling I wouldn't be crossing his path in the nearby future.

I can' believe I lost my virginity to him. I was so ashamed of myself.

"You could have killed him." I breathed behind Syaoran.

Syaoran did not face me. He just stood with his back to me glaring at the place Reggie was.

"I would have if you didn't interfere." His voice sent a chill down my spine. The night air seemed to mimic Syaoran's stillness. Even the club music vanished.

He was not happy.

We stayed looking down the alley until the faint cries of anger from Reggie diminished into silence.

I looked at my feet and focused on the purple nail polish on my toes stuck for what to say.

"T-thanks Syaoran." I mumbled.

Finally he looked at me. His eyes blazed in anger and I was genially more afraid of him at that moment then I was with Reggie. I felt so small. I wish he'd say something.

"Am I missing something?"

"What."

"I'm just curious. You come from a respectable family, you went to college and seem to have most of your brain cells so tell me, am I missing something? Are you stupid?" He raised his voice and held out the plastic packet that Reggie was offering to me.

I knew what he was thinking.

"It's not what you think." My voice was unconvincing I could tell by his expression.

"Syaoran you know I'd never be that stupid."

"Well I you're stupid enough to leave with someone like him without telling anyone and go into a dark alley where something could have happened then what's to stop you? Seriously Sakura drugs?" It was him now shaking me by the shoulders

"I didn't touch that stuff Syaoran. Why won't anyone believe me?" I was full on crying now. Everything was taking its toll. I just wanted to go home. I threw my face into my hands and cried.

His hands moved from my shaking shoulders to hug me. This made it worse. I didn't want him to ever see me like this. I swore I'd never let this happen.

"I believe you Sakura. I shouldn't have yelled, I'm sorry. I just… I never want you to go back to…him. To see you like that would kill me." The softness in his voice made my chest ache. How could I be so stupid? I understood his worry. I experimented a little with drugs in college but nothing major. Trouble just seemed to follow me with Reggie around. I'm so pathetic and brainless to have went with him here.

"You could have seriously hurt him though Syaoran. But thanks for saving me from Reggie."

He loosened his hold on me and brought his finger ever so softly under my chin. He raised my head. Our faces once again were inches from each other. I didn't know whether or not it was a good thing I was almost sober.

"Are you still fond of him?" I knew the answer he wanted. Luckily my answer was the truth.

"No." I whispered. "It bothers you to see me with him." I said stating the obvious. They all hated Reggie. I completely understood.

"No." He said surprising me. He lifted my chin up again to study my face. "It doesn't bother me to see you with just him; it bothers me to see you with any man Sakura."

My mouth dropped. Through my fringe he looked intently at me studying my reaction.

"W-what do you mean Syaoran?" My knees once again began to tremble.

He said nothing but locked his eyes onto mine. My heart began to race. His arms were warm around me, I didn't want to leave. I've never felt so safe.

Through the dim orange streetlight his face moved closer to mine, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I've made such a mistake Sakura. I was a coward. If only I was brave enough to do it all differently, I wouldn't have caused so much… pain. It's almost too late now." There was an unwritten message there. The thing was did I want to acknowledge it or not.

His thumb stroked my cheek. I felt myself blush under his thumb.

It was hard not feel the familiar feeling rise in me.

Could it be that… he still has feelings for me?

"Sakura…I...I still have feelings for-"

"I said I'm hungry!" Came and aggressive voice approaching up.

Immediately Syaoran and I broke away from each other. I felt coldness embrace me as we created a huge gap between us.

"I know Fuutie just hold on a second." Tomoyo said softly.

Syaoran and I looked towards the end of the alley.

Fuutie and Tomoyo emerged under the streetlight. Fuutie was as bad as I seen her last. She swung from Tomoyo's neck and her cream dress was torn. She held her shoes in one hand while Tomoyo held the rest of Fuutie's belongings in her free hand. Tomoyo looked extremely pissed off.

"Syaoraaaan!" Fuutie, like a ten year old child ran over to Syaoran to give him an exaggerated hug.

Subtly I retreated further from him. Guilt washed over me.

Syaoran looked extremely confused as he looked down at his sister. "You're drunk?"

She smiled and hugged him tighter. "I'm hungry." She repeated in a more sleepy tone.

His expression went from shock to complete anger. He flickered his now angered eyes towards Tomoyo.

"I thought you were taking care of her." Tomoyo actually jumped with fright not expecting it.

"She's is your sister Syaoran therefore your responsibility don't fucking pin it on me." That was the first time I heard Tomoyo speak like that to him. In fact I've never heard them address each other like that.

Wow, something had definitely pissed Tomoyo off. I could tell by her stance. Her hands firmly on her hips, her eyes narrowed with her lips in a firm line.

"You were the last person with her. How could you let her get this bad? Fuck sake Tomoyo anything could have happened to her!" He was getting aggravated. It wasn't fair. Technically it was I who was the last with Fuutie. But I didn't intervene, because I was angry.

Angry at Tomoyo who once again, took the moment from Syaoran and I.

It was as if she was lurking around any corner to spoil any moment we had.

….But he wasn't my fiancée. I had no right to be angry.

But I was furious. That moment was now broken.

Because of her. It was always because of her.

The root of my pain.

I couldn't look at her. I wanted to hit something.

"Forget it Syaoran. I just can't seem to do anything right can I?" Her voice was borderline shouting. She was aggressive. A rare emotion for Tomoyo.

I clenched my fists and bit my lip.

Their quarrel was uncomfortable.

Syaoran's jaw locked. He would not fight in front of me or his sister. That was never his style. He steered his sister out of the alley stopping beside Tomoyo to whisper. "We'll talk about it later."

She didn't respond but looked ahead with and irritated face. Syaoran glanced back at me and smiled gently.

"Happy Birthday Sakura."

I nodded and tried to ignore the butterflies unleashing in my stomach.

I was still on a buzz from the alcohol but not as bad as I was earlier.

I still had the balls to speak what was on my mind.

"Why so pissy Tomoyo." I said bitterly when Syaoran and Fuutie left.

She snapped her gaze back to me. "Excuse me?" She raised an eyebrow.

I walked up to her. "I said. Why. So. Pissy."

"What's your problem Sakura?"

"What's my problem? You Tomoyo! You have to have it all don't you? You couldn't let me just have the one thing I always wanted. No. You had to take it away from me… and now I'll never have him." Word Vomit. Funny thing was didn't care. I wanted to say it. I was taking advice from Eriol.

Her face went blank when I said that. Her annoyed expression changed to shocked.

"S-Sakura do you mean… Reggie? You're better than him." she mumbled taken aback by my change in attitude.

I was so close to her now her back was against the wall. "No Tomoyo, not Reggie. You had to take him didn't you?" She couldn't hold my gaze. She looked to the ground and unsurprisingly picked at her hair.

I grabbed her wrist to stop her.

I felt myself calming down as my eye released a single tear. "I just hope it's all worth it Tomoyo. I hope I'll be proven wrong. I hope you'll be happy." My tone was dead, unenthusiastic.

I thought she'd retaliate. Question me. What she said shocked me.

"You're right. I've become... lost in myself. It can only start with me." She was looking more through me than at me. As if talking to herself. I had genuinely no idea what she was talking about.

I backed away when I heard footsteps coming towards us.

Eriol, accompanied by Feimei appeared into the streetlights.

"Hey Sakura, the taxi's here. You ready to go?"

My mood lifted immediately.

"I'm ready." I said linking arms with him and Feimei.

Before I myself started walking I turned back to Tomoyo who hadn't moved. "Thanks for the party Tomoyo, I appreciate it." I genially meant that.

She nodded as if in a frightened daze but strangely kept her eyes fixed on Eriol, who did not return her gaze. He didn't even wave goodbye to her.

I thought nothing of it as we strolled away from her.

"Well, good birthday?" Eriol asked poking my side.

I smiled looking ahead at Syaoran who was putting on Fuutie's seatbelt probably mumbling to himself.

"It was… interesting."

Took me a while to write but I hope ye like it so far :P

By the way hope that answers your question 'elfenknight' :P

Anyway I've school soon so no fast updates :( R&R! :)