Maddie jumped down off Holly's lap and stood on the ground, wrapping her arms tightly around her ribs.
"I can take it from here," Abby said quietly.
Holly nodded at her and got up. "It's okay, Maddie," Holly said. "Come find me if you need to, okay?"
Maddie nodded, shifting from foot to foot as Abby came closer. Abby sat on the brick wall where Holly had been, but Maddie remained where she was.
"Maddie, look at me, honey."
The little dancer cast her eyes in the general direction of her teacher, but couldn't quite make it up to her face. Abby reached out and took Maddie's wrist, gently pulling her toward her. Maddie didn't fight the motion, but she still couldn't look up.
"Listen, okay? I know you don't hate dance. You love to dance. You never stop dancing, ever, and we both know that. Maddie, these mothers are vultures, and they're just jealous of you."
"But they're not!" Maddie burst out, but she immediately slammed her lips shut. She didn't want to make Abby more mad at her.
"What do you think they're doing, then?" There was a pause, and then Abby said, "Maddie, you can talk. I came out here because I wanted to hear your side of what's going on. I know it's usually me talking at you, but I want you to talk to me too, alright?"
Maddie nodded. She took a moment to gather her thoughts before she quietly said, "I'm just trying to make everybody happy. And they're happy when I lose, and then they don't bother my mom. Chloe gets sad a lot and I think it's 'cause of me and how I win and she doesn't. I'm sorry I've been bad at the studio. I want to stay longer, I don't ever want to go home, but if I leave at the same time as everybody else, they're not mean to my mom." Abby didn't say anything, so Maddie continued. "When they're mean, it makes me feel bad because I know it's my fault. I don't want them to hate her, so I'm trying to make them happy so she can be happy too. But then I'm stuck, cause she only likes me when I win stuff."
There was a sniffle, and that got Maddie to look up. Abby had tears in her eyes. Maddie hated herself for this, but when Abby cried, Maddie did too, no matter what. It's worse than seeing her mom cry. Maddie bit down hard on her lip, but there were tears shining in her eyes again too.
"Miss Abby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad. I knew if I lost, it would make you mad at me-"
"Maddie, I'm not mad at you," Abby said. Her voice was cracking, which sent Maddie's eyes back up to her face. "I was never mad at you, I was worried. I was worried this was happening."
And then Maddie was crying again, just a few tears sliding down her cheeks. She put her hands up to her face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said brokenly.
"Maddie, I'm not mad at you," Abby repeated. "I should have talked to you as soon as this started happening. All the mistakes you made onstage – those were intentional, yes?"
Maddie swallowed. "I just wanted Chloe to be happy."
Abby sighed and tilted her head up to the sky. "I knew it." She took a breath. "Maddie, you can win and be happy about it. You know that, yes?"
"I… I guess."
"Are you sure? Cause I saw you trying not to cry more than once when you won first."
"Paige's mom and Chloe's mom always like when I don't win. And Chloe dances so beautifully, so I thought if I messed up, she would win. She deserves it so much more than me."
Abby brushes her hand over Maddie's hair and smiles at her sadly. "I'm so sorry they're so vicious to you. To your mother. And I'm sorry they can't let you enjoy your talent. You shouldn't have to feel like this, and you shouldn't be changing all of your behavior and habits to please them. I know it feels like the end of the world, but someday you're going to be on TV, or you're going to be in shows on Broadway. You're going to be a huge star, and where are they gonna be?"
"But I love them," Maddie mumbles.
Abby is quiet. "Oh, that's the hardest part," she says gently. "I'm gonna talk to the other moms, okay?"
"Please don't tell them!"
"Maddie, I-"
"Please, they can't know! They'll hate my mom even more, they'll think it was her!"
"I won't say it was you or her. Gianna and I talked about this before, so I'll just tell them that, alright? I know Holly won't say anything, and I think you do as well. You trust her, I can tell. I see you always keeping closer to her than even your own mom."
"I like her voice," Maddie said. "She's always nice to Nia and everyone. I like her the most."
Abby smiled at that. "I think I like her the most, too. You wanna go back in, or do you wanna stay out here with me for a while?"
"Stay." She climbed onto the wall next to Abby, who put her arm around her. Maddie leaned slightly into Abby and closed her eyes. "I don't hate dance. I'm sorry."
"We love you, Maddie. I love you. You know that, don't you? We want you to be your best, no matter what anyone else thinks. I'm so proud of you."
Maddie's mouth cracked into a small smile, but she left her eyes closed. They stayed outside until Holly texted Abby to let her know it was time to get ready for the group dance.
Mackenzie came bounding up to Maddie, but immediately sensed something was wrong without even seeing Maddie's bloodshot eyes.
"Mad? You okay?"
Maddie just sort of stared at her younger sister, so Mackenzie climbed up into her lap. Even though Maddie wasn't done with her make-up, she was exhausted from her emotional afternoon. She leaned into Mackenzie and shut her eyes. Two hands reached down to start doing Maddie's hair. She was about to sit up, but then Mackenzie said, "Hi, Miss Kelly."
"Hey, Kenzie. Is your sister doing okay?"
Maddie felt Mackenzie shrug, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything or even open her eyes. She was a little nervous about Kelly doing her hair, but she decided the worst that could happen is that it would fall out, but Maddie was the queen of hair-shaking backstage. She'd never had her hair fall out in her life; her millions of bobby pins ensured that.
Mackenzie hugged her even tighter, and Maddie hugged back.
