The next morning I wake up to see Uncle Jason has swapped places with Reid. Well this is going to be awkward. His head is in his hands, he looks stressed and upset. I don`t know what to say or do so I pretend to still be asleep.
"Lexy, I love you, we all do, you have to stop doing this to yourself..." at first I think he`s just talking to me while I`m sleeping but then he says, "I know you can hear me."
"I`m sorry," is all that I can think to say to him. I`ve always looked up to my uncle. He`s always been the one person who I can count on and the one person who was always nice to me. Now it sounds so disappointed, and that really hurts. The sad thing is, my first reaction to dealing with emotional pain is to go throw up again.
"I know, I know you don`t want to. I`m going to help you get through this," he takes my hand.
I smile. I tell him that I don`t want to go back to therapy, that it doesn`t help me. He says that I have to promise him that I`ll try to open up more. I tell him that there`s nothing to open up about. He sighs, its sounds like a disappointed and frustrated sigh and I feel upset with myself for letting him down.
I dream about Reid that night. Its my first dirty dream ever and I don`t know if I should feel happy or ashamed. But I can`t help but feel happy. I wonder if it will ever really happen. If it does, I`m sure it will be twice as awkward as it was in my dream. I think about it and I`m not sure if Reid has ever done it before. He might not know what to do. And I certainly don`t. But I guess I should slow down, considering we haven`t even really gone on a real date yet.
